Light Through the Blinds [M]
Oct 19, 2020 10:57:13 GMT
Post by SparklingEspeon on Oct 19, 2020 10:57:13 GMT
Hi, I'm here for the longform exchange, which means I'll be covering everything currently written here which you already knew because you signed up for it, but I need an introduction so
I'll open with this comment: The sixties were... a very garish time, full of strange and flamboyant color combinations that weirdly work together unless you look too hard at any part of it and then it's just straight up "No". I think Light Through the Blinds makes a pretty good point of getting that feel through in the narration, from the mention of orange blinds to the absolutely hideous idea of white+ navy blue carpet. It also sets into motion a plot that's so peculiar that it feels like several different things at once and yet none of them at the same time.
There were two things that kind of struck me as odd when reading: One, that LTtB seems to take place in the normal world, with normal countries and places and people and government and stuff, except that there are pokemon. In fact, pokemon are kind of sidelined here in favor of the human characters. We see Milou's three pokemon, brief mentions and namedrops of others, and a passing mention of pokemon trainers in the third chapter, but for the most part this feels like this story doesn't really need the pokemon aspect much - while the concept seems to be integrated smoothly, it's most certainly not the main focus and in my opinion could easily be removed/replaced without harming the three chapters of the fic that I read. And while I'm certainly not advocatng that pokemon mist be a large or main focus of every pokemon fanfiction, having the pokemon just be there but the world is pretty much the same as ours otherwise felt like a weird middle ground that didn't really work for me tbh.
The second thing is that the different plot elements are kind of clashing for me a bit (although granted, I've only read three chapters so I may be off here). The story starts out with this Twilight-Zone-esque plot where Milou and a bunch of her firends wake up in an earlier time period and are for some reason the servants of an up and coming 60's rock band, but then at the end of the second chapter we're also thrown into this strange plot where some Shady Evil Guy (TM) has trapped them all here so he can perform some experiment that's turning them all into pokemon (?) for some reason? It's the kind of weird thing you'd expect from something that has such strong Twilight Zone vibes, but practically it doesn't really make sense to me - This guy is clearly in control of whatever's going on, so he probably put them where they are now. But if he was going to perform an experiment on them, then why slap them in the middle of the 1960's, and why get the band involved? And if this is an elaborate setup made to make them think they're in another time, why go to all that trouble? I may be totally off the mark and this has all been meticulously planned out, but in the moment it doesn't really track with me.
That said, with the negatives out of the way, everything else about this fic is written pretty well! I like the characters a lot, although it did get a bit hard to differentiate them the more and more of them appeared (since we know nothing about them but Milou knows a lot). The dialogue is very well-written and on-point, and watching them cover up their very modern lingo and tracks to better suit their new time period was amusing. I also enjoyed how you gave all three of Milou's pokemon a distinct personality, which makes them feel like more than just props standing in the background. I'm also interested to see where this plot goes as it slowly unravels - it's so unapologetically over the top and weird that I need an explanation to see what could possibly explain it all.
Overall, Light Through the Blinds is a very good, if a little bit strange, read! I'll admit I don't have too much to go on from these three chapters alone (although I'll be watching out for Celebi from here on out), but hopefully as more chapters are released I'll be able to get a better idea of what's going on and how it all fits together. Keep going!
~SparklingEspeon
I'll open with this comment: The sixties were... a very garish time, full of strange and flamboyant color combinations that weirdly work together unless you look too hard at any part of it and then it's just straight up "No". I think Light Through the Blinds makes a pretty good point of getting that feel through in the narration, from the mention of orange blinds to the absolutely hideous idea of white+ navy blue carpet. It also sets into motion a plot that's so peculiar that it feels like several different things at once and yet none of them at the same time.
There were two things that kind of struck me as odd when reading: One, that LTtB seems to take place in the normal world, with normal countries and places and people and government and stuff, except that there are pokemon. In fact, pokemon are kind of sidelined here in favor of the human characters. We see Milou's three pokemon, brief mentions and namedrops of others, and a passing mention of pokemon trainers in the third chapter, but for the most part this feels like this story doesn't really need the pokemon aspect much - while the concept seems to be integrated smoothly, it's most certainly not the main focus and in my opinion could easily be removed/replaced without harming the three chapters of the fic that I read. And while I'm certainly not advocatng that pokemon mist be a large or main focus of every pokemon fanfiction, having the pokemon just be there but the world is pretty much the same as ours otherwise felt like a weird middle ground that didn't really work for me tbh.
The second thing is that the different plot elements are kind of clashing for me a bit (although granted, I've only read three chapters so I may be off here). The story starts out with this Twilight-Zone-esque plot where Milou and a bunch of her firends wake up in an earlier time period and are for some reason the servants of an up and coming 60's rock band, but then at the end of the second chapter we're also thrown into this strange plot where some Shady Evil Guy (TM) has trapped them all here so he can perform some experiment that's turning them all into pokemon (?) for some reason? It's the kind of weird thing you'd expect from something that has such strong Twilight Zone vibes, but practically it doesn't really make sense to me - This guy is clearly in control of whatever's going on, so he probably put them where they are now. But if he was going to perform an experiment on them, then why slap them in the middle of the 1960's, and why get the band involved? And if this is an elaborate setup made to make them think they're in another time, why go to all that trouble? I may be totally off the mark and this has all been meticulously planned out, but in the moment it doesn't really track with me.
That said, with the negatives out of the way, everything else about this fic is written pretty well! I like the characters a lot, although it did get a bit hard to differentiate them the more and more of them appeared (since we know nothing about them but Milou knows a lot). The dialogue is very well-written and on-point, and watching them cover up their very modern lingo and tracks to better suit their new time period was amusing. I also enjoyed how you gave all three of Milou's pokemon a distinct personality, which makes them feel like more than just props standing in the background. I'm also interested to see where this plot goes as it slowly unravels - it's so unapologetically over the top and weird that I need an explanation to see what could possibly explain it all.
Overall, Light Through the Blinds is a very good, if a little bit strange, read! I'll admit I don't have too much to go on from these three chapters alone (although I'll be watching out for Celebi from here on out), but hopefully as more chapters are released I'll be able to get a better idea of what's going on and how it all fits together. Keep going!
~SparklingEspeon
