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Post by Dramatic Melody on May 16, 2020 18:01:00 GMT
eldestoyster: It's cool that you remembered who he was! I picked him since he looked like he was the oldest in Mauville Gym, even though in the remakes the Guitarists look much younger than I thought ahaha. I'm glad you liked my take on him in this one-shot!
And I'm also really happy you like the premise. I always thought that the climax of the Hoenn games felt much more catastrophic than a lot of the other games, so it felt right to address that here. And, of course, the current situation made it much easier to imagine how it would go. As you said, Shawn's situation is actually very low-stakes compared to the potential effects of the heavy rain, but it was still fun to make a story out of it.
Thank you very much for the comment, eldestoyster! As always, I really appreciate it.
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Post by Manchee on Nov 6, 2020 17:49:56 GMT
Okay, it's been way too long since you gifted Meteor Falls to me, and I apologize for never replying sooner. I promise I read it immediately after you posted it, I'm just sucky at sitting down and typing out reviews. And that's on me, and I terrible about it because what you've written is so so perfect in every way possible.
What I love most is all of the small gestures and moments of touching that you sprinkled in between dialogue and description. From Wallace leaning into Steven, putting a hand on his shoulder, and Steven messing up and saying the meteoroid could've wiped out him before all of us. It shows how much they still care about each other without having to outright say it. And I think a lot of times in relationships, especially gay relationships, there are so many of those moments that mean a lot to a partner. Part of it I think is because we have to find those moments in secret a lot of the time and out in public a small touching of the shoulder or gentle lean in for a second can mean a lot, and I found myself multiple times throughout this having those "he's thinking about me" feelings through Steven and Wallace. And I loved how you made Wallace's gestures much more physical and direct while Steven's were more vocal and/or in his head - really hitting home the line from Lorde's song.
Which, speaking of, I love that you tied that line into both their relationship and Steven's role as a Champion. And here we have this moment of him realizing that he doesn't do everything right, which is a nice reality check. Like gls, I've had my own characterization of Steven and I love seeing yours, because it's totally believable - Steven is finally present and acknowledging that even as a Champion, he is not perfect and there are things that he has to work on. For me, "Supercut" is really personal because it came out at the tail end of a bad relationship as well as the summer after my first semester of graduate school, and made me realize for so long I thought I had everything together and "in my head I do everything right," but the reality of the situation was not true.
All in all, I love that you applied this prompt to very great characters who could have believably been together, and that you showed that feeling conveyed in the song so well. Bonus that it ended with them acknowledging that they had fun together, but are not meant to be together. I love endings that aren't always perfectly happy, but not just complete downers. Thank you so much for writing this :D
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Post by Dramatic Melody on Nov 25, 2020 2:50:57 GMT
Manchee - No worries! I'm already glad that you read it and very honored that you like it, especially from one Lorde fan to another!
I'm so glad that the little details about Steven and Wallace's gestures to each other worked well for you! I knew from the start that I wanted them to be exes on good terms, so I wanted them to have this level of mutual understanding while still retaining their personalities (Wallace being more physical and Steven being more introspective, like you said), and I'm happy that translated well. Hearing how much "Supercut" means to you is really sweet, so I'm really glad that I was able to turn it into a gift!
Thanks for the review!
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Post by Manchee on Dec 15, 2020 0:05:55 GMT
So I, uhhh... kinda of binged all of these one-shots over the past couple days. I'd read Vito Winstrate before (and Meteor Falls, of course), but for good measure I reread it again partly because it's the first one posted, but mostly because I really love the style of it. I remember how it was done in the zine, and I think it's translated really well to a forum format. There isn't a lot to it, and I like that. We're just learning some more about Vito, and the reality vs. what his family thinks of him does that perfectly. We get just enough information to understand that all-to-familiar feeling of our parents, grandparents, and younger siblings saying all of these things about us while we're not around - about how proud they are, how we're doing great - when in reality we feel like we're failing and disappointing them.
You build up how he feels to this final moment where he declares he won't ever make it and that he doesn't deserve his family's support. And then it just ends, which gives me the perfect image of him turning his back on his dreams and resigning to being an average trainer who didn't make it to where he thought he would. It's upsetting, and as a reader I can easily see his life continuing and just being... average. Eventually his family understands that he's not going to be the hotshot trainer they thought he would, and he goes about his life trying to find new meaning. I love pieces that don't have an absolute ending and let the reader fill in the future for the characters.
I want to note here that I think your strongest pieces are where you pick random trainers that we've met during the games and expand on them. You turn them into people that feel very real and familiar. Not everyone can do that, especially with minor characters that most people probably defeat and forget about by the time they finish the game.
I will say that Youngster Josh did this the best. I did not expect to genuinely feel bad for this kid getting wrecked at every corner, in particular because I've been that Mr. Character type before when getting to Roxanne. After your tenth, twentieth time playing RSE, those early trainers are just ants that you walk over on the way to your end goal. But I can tell you now that the next time I play Emerald (which is going to be as soon as I can fix the internal battery), I will not look at Youngster Josh the same way.
From the start of his piece, he's this dorky little kid taking insults and criticism almost comedically, which I chuckled at more than once. Then, very quickly, as a reader I got the feeling of "oh... well now I feel bad for him," and it was a bit of a sucker punch. I really thought he was going to be cheerfully losing over and over again. But this is exactly what I was talking about with you humanizing these random trainers in Hoenn. Youngster Josh is now a cluster of pixels that I won't be able to walk all over ever again. (side note: it reminds me very fondly of Humans of Hoenn, which I loved when you first started that)
What I especially love about this piece was the friendship between all Roxanne's gym trainers. There's an easy camaraderie, even for the new guy. I love how they lie so easily for him after he forgets to tell them about the next challenger. And that they were able to talk him out of his funk. I'm sure a lot of us have co-workers who help us adjust to a new job and make it not feel so overwhelming in the beginning. Nice inclusion of Wally at the end, too. That's another thing I noticed with a few of these one-shots: right when I expect it to end, you add some more that takes it another step up. The battle and post-battle comments with Wally were what sealed this one as my favorite so far (I promise I really love them all, though!) because we finally get to see a trainer who has a good heart and makes a difference on others just by being a nice person- not by being the hero, or putting others through a tough time to "help them grow." Wally is just so genuine and has the best outlook to help out someone like Youngster Josh.
I thought Splash was cute because we get to see everything from the perspective of a trusty animal companion. I think it lent well to the narrative here, too, because Splash can be that outside perspective on fame while still being "in" it with May. You showed off how crazy busy it must be for a Champion, and a brand new one, no less. I like that Steven is there to help guide her through it. The formalities of the League are always a fun topic in fan fiction to read and write about. It makes sense that the former Champion would hang around to help the new one out. And we really get the sense of how new it is for May, too, with the small details you through in for her characterization, like her using Mr. and Ms. for Steven and Cynthia while they call each other just by their first names. She's still in this position where they feel like her seniors instead of in the same position as her.
For the final piece posted at this moment, you chose another great minor character to expand on, set during a really cool moment during the games. It could be a whole fic in itself to tell stories about the general public of Hoenn dealing with the intense weather from Groudon/Kyogre. The way that you styled it was really cool, too, with the repetition of "rain continues to fall." What a perfect phrase to see over and over again to constantly be reminded of the downpour, only for it to suddenly stop. You captured those moments of trying to wait out the rain and feeling stuck at a transportation terminal exactly how they feel, as well as the moment that the waiting is finally over.
It was cool in this last one to see two professions in the Pokémon world and how they interact within a family system. The image of a gym trainer father trying to see his son's contest performance really makes you think of all the other minor characters and what stories they hold and lives they live. I see that you have an upcoming piece about soda pop, which I'm assuming takes place in or around Slateport, and I'm very excited to read it! That's one part of the region I've been toying with writing about as well, so let me know when it's up :D
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Post by Dramatic Melody on Dec 23, 2020 23:11:18 GMT
Manchee: Oh that's a surprise! I'm glad they're bingeable haha. Really appreciate all the time you took in leaving comments for each of them. Thanks for the comment on Vito Winstrate's format! Of all the one-shots I've written, I think it's the one that really benefits from a style that don't translate well in forums (and even websites like AO3 for that matter), but I was determined to make it work regardless. I'm glad it worked well for you! I also really like what you said about the ending - I remember thinking about ending it on a more definitive note, but the uncertainty of it all felt just right for the piece. These are his thoughts after all, so retaining that uncertainty until the end felt fitting! Youngster Josh tackles that uncertainty a bit differently, and I'm really happy to hear that you found the character memorable! As you mention in your review, Humans of Hoenn really made me appreciate how varied the NPCs are in the games, and this one-shot in particular is based on one of those conversations, so I'm glad it gave you the same feeling! I was also surprised about your comment on how the stories don't see to end when you expect them to - I haven't thought of it that way, but the scenes with Wally do feel like an epilogue, don't they? I'm glad it made the one-shot better, though - a splash of best boy Wally always makes a story more interesting, after all! I definitely used the word "splash" to segueway into talking about the next one-shot. The basis of that piece, "Calls to an Ex-Champion," was one of the best I've read about League formalities, so I really wanted to invoke that here since it was a gift for that one-shot's author. Splash the character felt like a fresh take on the subject, so I'm glad that perspective went well with you! With Rain Continues to Fall, the titular line itself read like such a poetic line whenever I saw it used in-game, so I wanted to translate that into the one-shot's format. I'm especially grateful for your comments about the professions, as I've always found the dynamics behind them really interesting, so I'm glad you found them interesting too! Also glad that you thought the waiting in the terminal was realistic - as someone who's experienced something similar (though thankfully not Kyogre levels of catastrophic hahaha), it's a uniquely frustrating feeling that felt cathartic to put in writing! (And as a side-note, it's funny you mention the idea about fics dealing with the Groudon/Kyogre crisis, as I've actually been toying around the idea of a whole series of one-shots around it, but my lazy self just couldn't find the motivation to start it ahaha.) As for Soda Pop, I've been sitting on that revision for a while now, with my lazy self unfortunately constantly pushing it off. I do still have the original from many years ago published elsewhere, so let me know if you want a link to that! But yes, it's set in the Slateport location where they sell it, and it's definitely an interesting setting to write about! Again, thank you so much for all the comments, Manchee! They're very helpful and heartwarming to read.
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