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Post by bay on Jan 9, 2019 6:25:28 GMT
Hey everyone! Okay, during the months of October and November I wrote enough new material that can be broken down into three chapters! Originally I was going to have separate Grimsley and Nanu's scenes for Ch 6, but Nanu's scene got a bit long and so decided to put that for Ch 7. Hence why this chapter is on the shorter side. Ch8 is another Grimsley centric chapter which will have a couple quick battles and a fun Pokeani reference, how exciting!
So yeah, expect Chapters 7 and 8 fairly soon too. After that, I have ideas for some scenes and I have some prewritten material I can use as Ch 9 and 10, but there is a chance I'll restructure the later half of the story and see if that's feasible first. Thanks to bobandbill for the great betaing!
Before we get to the chapter though, some overdue replies!
eldestoyster: Glad you thought both the nightmare and Nanu's other side went well! Part of me wasn't sure if the violent nature would go well, but from the responses it worked! And yup I imagine those nightmares really took a toll on him and wanted to present that.
Happy to hear you also like how Grimsley and his mother are close! From several Grimsley RPs I've seen checking out/lurking most also have him get along fine with his mother and wanted to do the same. Funny story on the ring, originally I was just going to have him straight up go against Mimikins, but the games mentioned trials being only for the younger trainers. I then asked another way for Grimsley to approach Mimikins, and Firebrand and Vray suggested something of his gets stolen. There are are a few Pokedex entries that mentioned Murkrow liking shiny things, and I went with the ring.
Yeah, I thought it would be a neat idea for Grimsley to not just relax but help out with other people. I'm actually considering rewriting Grimsley and Becky's conversation for the reason Ambyssin stated in his review, and Grimsley being e4 consultant will come to play in Chapter 8.
Glad you enjoyed the battle! It's partially inspired by the anime where Ash's Pikachu went against Jessie's Mimikyu, so you can probably tell how much I rewatched that battle haha. Grimsley will go through a few more battles in Alola, so I hope the other fights will be just as fun!
Thanks for pointing out those errors. I haven't gotten the chance to fix those yet, but probably will get to those soon!
Ambyssin: Mhm, yeah your comment on Chapter 5 probably better being split made me consider for a moment. When I first outline this chapter, it was originally going to be: >Nanu's nightmare >Acerola and Grimsley talking about how to get Nanu to battle him, Acerola suggesting battle Mimikins (spoilers: Acerola didn't suggest that in the current draft lol) >Grimsley going against Mimikins >Kukui coming, Nanu refuses Kukui's offer And then as I was writing the chapter, I added Grimsley's phonecall to his mother earlier and his scene with Becky. But yeah, after I finished with this chapter I could've split it into two somewhere. Instead I was like, let's get this over with, lol. For the time being, I'll leave the chapter as is and try to not have the other chapters be jammed pack. I might consider breaking it after I finish the story, but we'll see! Speaking of Becky, I see what you mean over her casually telling Grimsley about herself that way. I actually got started rewriting that scene some weeks ago, but then I got distracted with holiday stuff and was sick oops. Concerning the ephithets, hm I might have to fix up on those too. Since the Oranguru has a name now, it's probably silly to keeping refering him to that even if in Nanu's POV. I plan to polish up Chapter 5 later, so I hope to get to that eventually. Dramatic Melody: Yeah, that ship happened in Foul Play verse. =p The two still have some things to resolve, so we'll get to that at a later time. Glad you like the Nanu and Grimsley desert scenes! Yeah, that's what I was going for with Grimsley getting over with the events that happened in BW/B2W2 and Nanu getting over the UB stuff. Dark type trainers sure have it rough, huh? Chapter Five my replies would the same as eldestoyster's, but happy to hear Grimsley's battle and Nanu's nightmare worked there! Sike Saner: Also happy to hear on both Nanu's characterization and his personality! Yeah don't think anyone who experienced what Nanu had would come out normal. Same goes for Looker and another character later. =< Concerning Grimsley and Colress before Team Plasma, I'm considering showcasing that actually! It could be in flashbacks, a backstory, or both. Haven't decided how I'll go about that yet, but I want to! illustrious-rocket: Gonna reply to your comments on Ch 2 and 3 here! Chapter 2: Hah, funny story about that. Originally I actually had Grimsley get his kimono in Malie City, but then I decided to move it to him have it sooner than that. You know, I did have a quick check on the trainers in the Battle Buffet, but didn't pluck it from that roster for some reason like I did with Roland (and yes, that's the Roland from the roster). And you're right about the couple probably should've eaten somewhere else hahaha. Glad you like his scene with Ricky! After some feedback on Ch 1, I thought a scene with him helping a trainer out would be nice. Onto the cemetary scene, well it's Grimsley of course it fits. =P In all seriousness though, when I was writing this story I noticed Unova and Alola haveing some similarities, so I thought I would highlight those throughout. Hm, I'll have to look over the transition and maybe I'll get to fixing on that eventually. Sorry to disappoint, but there isn't really a connection to Nanu and Roland. Roland just happens to heard of him, that's all lol. And yeah, that expression is probably isn't the best. Concerning that wormhole, no UB came through out of it BUT there will be references to that and other characters wondering if that will be the case soon. Chapter 3: Before I begin, your concerns over Iokua and Grimsley's conversation and Route 11's description. You brought up good points on those, so maybe one day I'll see about fixing those. The news report on the wormwhole is also something I might add too. Oh man, I need to keep a checklist of what stuff I need to edit heh. Yeah, as you already can tell that's not how Grimsley and Nanu first meet lol. I plan to have Sushi High Roller reappear, though. Iokua is an original character! Yeah I wasn't sure how folks will react to Nanu having a son, but most people seem fine with it. Thanks! Everyone's been mentioning that so far, and hopefully the later chapters will have the same results. Glad you noticed! Yeah what I try to do is while Nanu isn't too happy about being the kahuna, he still kinda takes it seriously when he wants to. Hah, I love teasing Grimsley looking old. = P Concerning Hania Desert, what I was imagining was Grimsley and Hanna moving away where the desert is. They probably could noticed one area of it though. Maybe I'll have to fix that too? Oh boy. Heh, I thought of the idea of Skarmory wanting Grimsley's coin from his dialogue where if you choose neither heads or tails he admits to having Skarmory take the coin. Hahaha don't worry, Grimsley will have more interactions with the kids. They LOVE to bug him. Yeah! So I thought Grimsley would compare Aether to Team Plasma and be hesistant there. Later on he'll make more comparisons between the two, especially when he meets one former Team Plasma member now kinda working for Aether. (I was trying to be vague in my previous replies, but you probably have an idea who I'm talking about lol).
Anddd I think that's it for replies! Chapter Six will be in a separate post in a few minutes!
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Post by bay on Jan 9, 2019 6:26:44 GMT
Replies and such from last post!Chapter Six Malicious MoonsaultGrimsley decided to stay in the Aether House for another night. After Becky healed his Pokémon with potions, Roulette and Raz curled up together and rested on the floor for an hour or so before going out to play with Gracie and Hunter’s Pokémon. Kukui had been making several phone calls over preparations for the Pokémon League and other personal matters. In the meantime, everyone was outside near the beach and Acerola and the children were teaching him the Z-move for the Ghostium-Z, Never Ending Nightmare. Each time he did it, he felt like a small child in a ghost costume going trick and treating. “That wasn’t scary enough!” Gracie said and pouted after Grimsley practiced the pose the fourth time already. “It gotta be like this!” Like earlier this morning, she picked herself up slowly and jumped forward. “But I did just that!” Grimsley said, rolling his eyes. He glanced to see Roulette and Raz watching from the sidelines, giving baffled stares. “You did the poses right, but it wouldn’t hurt to be a little more menacing,” Acerola said, and that earned her a glare from Grimsley. “I’m sure Shauntal could pull this off better than I can,” he said. “She might have fun with that, I think!” Acerola giggled. “We’ve been practicing the poses for a while. Why don’t I show you how it really looks like?” She pulled out a pokéball from her dress, and yelled out, “Go, Pebbles!” After she tossed the ball, bright light burst out and a Pokémon that resembled a large sandcastle appeared. The shovel on its head began rotating like a radar machine. “That’s a peculiar-looking Pokémon,” Grimsley said in a curious tone. Even his Pokémon tilted their heads with slight interest. “Pebbles here is a Palossand!” Acerola said with a grin and patted Pebbles on the forehead. “Many Pokémon are scared of her because Sandygast and Palossand are known to swallow up everything, but she’s well behaved.” As if agreeing, Pebbles hummed and stretched her body up and down like a wave. Grimsley blinked upon seeing that, but then he forced a smile. “I’ll take your word on that. So about that Z-move?” “Right!” Her grin widening, Acerola showed Grimsley her purple Z-Ring bracelet on her wrist. “I’ll be demonstrating my Z-move with Pebbles here. Watch closely!” Acerola closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and struck her Z-move pose; Grimsley caught her bracelet glowing brightly like a star. Pebbles also attempted that move like her trainer did, and a golden aura surrounded them both. The air grew colder, and purple flames burst out where Pebbles was. Grimsley and his Pokémon stirred when dark liquid oozed out on the ground and several tendrils, similar in appearance to Mimikins the totem Mimikyu’s claws, grabbed and covered a tree which burst into flames. After that performance, Pebbles collapsed like a sinkhole and dragged out a heavy breath. “That’s awesome! I can’t wait to try Z-moves with Elekid!” Hunter beamed, and he turned to Elekid who expressed the same joy by jumping up and down. “Yeah, me too!” Gracie said, pumping her fist in the air. “So that’s a Z-move, huh? Not too bad,” Grimsley said with a genuine smile. “Thought you would be impressed! Z-moves can be used depending on the Z-crystal the Pokémon’s holding and the move’s typing. Makes sense?” “I think I understand, yes. You would need a Z-ring too, correct?” “Yup! Usually a kahuna is the one that can make a Z-ring. For instance, Uncle Nanu made mine!” Acerola’s grin grew wider. “You’ll have no trouble learning Black Hole Eclipse, though!” “If I could get my hands on that Z-crystal and Z-ring, that is.” Grimsley sighed and shook his head. He pressed his lips and folded his arms against his chest. “Don’t worry, you’ll get those sooner than you think!” Acerola said with a wink. Behind her, the children giggled. Frowning, Grimsley wasn’t convinced that would happen anytime soon. He turned his head to see Kukui approaching everyone. “Oh, practicing some Z-moves, yeah?” the professor asked when he reached them, and Acerola nodded. “I’ve been teaching Grimsley how to do one of the poses and also showed him the Z-move Never Ending Nightmare!” “Yeah, just saw that as I was getting out of the building! You come a long way since I first saw you battle.” “Thank you, that means a lot!” Acerola said and smiled back. Pebbles let out a pleased grunt. Grimsley couldn’t help but smile a little. He glanced at Kukui’s arm and noticed he was wearing a Z-Ring on his wrist too. “You know how to use Z-moves, too?” he asked, pointing at Kukui’s Z-Ring. A wide grin stretched across Kukui’s face. “Of course, cousin! Otherwise I wouldn’t call myself an expert on Pokémon moves, yeah!” “Oh, can we see you do a Z-move too?” Hunter asked eagerly, bouncing on his feet. “I wanna see, I wanna see!” Gracie chanted. Next to her, Yungoos, Mimikyu, and Elekid also screamed. After considering the children's request for a moment, Kukui grinned. “Sure, why not! Come on out, Chavo!” Kukui pulled out a pokéball from his lab coat and threw it up in the air. A burst of light exploded and a large bipedal feline Pokémon appeared. Chavo had turfs of red and black fur, a gray torso with stripes, and a solid muscular build that could rival a bodybuilder or a wrestler. He roared and released a blast of fire from the flaming belt around his waist. Grimsley and his Pokémon couldn’t take their gazes off of him. “You have an Incineroar?” Gracie asked, an awestruck expression on her face. “Indeed!” Kukui said with a proud grin and patted his Pokémon’s chest. “Chavo’s my main ace and has been with me since I started my own island challenge, yeah!” “Nice to see you again, Chavo!” Acerola said as she and Pebbles approached the Incineroar. Recognizing the two, Chavo flashed them a grin and gave a thumbs up. “Say Acerola, I have an idea,” Kukui said. “Why don’t we do a mini battle, and then I’ll show Grimsley and the kids Chavo’s Z-move, yeah?” “I’m fine with it if Pebbles is.” Acerola turned to her Pokémon, who bobbed her head. The girl’s grin widened. “She says yes!” Grimsley moved to where the children and the Pokémon were. He sat between Roulette and Raz, giving them quick scratches on the chin. As Kukui and Acerola prepare their battle, they and their Pokémon stood on opposite sides. “You can make the first move, Acerola!” Kukui said, hands on his sides. “If you insist! Go for Earth Power, Pebbles!” Pebbles grunted in acknowledgement and her body glowed a golden aura. She slammed her fist on the ground, causing the earth to fracture and bright light to spill out. The golden cracks traveled underneath Chavo and that led him to fly several feet and fall. Grimsley, the children, and the Pokémon stumbled as they felt the aftershock of that, too. After regaining his balance, he glanced to see Kukui was unfazed by that. “Great! Now Sludge Bomb!” “Counter with Darkest Lariat!” Kukui commanded. Chavo picked himself quickly and spun himself while being engulfed in flames. Pebbles inhaled and spit out a large amount of purple liquid at her opponent, only for him to go through it as he continued to twirl like a lasso. Both Pokémon collided; Pebbles shrieked while Chavo backed away and shook off the sand and sludge from his arms and chest. Acerola ordered Pebbles to use Stone Edge next, so the Palossand punched the ground once more and several stone pillars shot up. One of those pillars struck Chavo on the chest and he dropped to one knee. As he picked himself back up, his legs shook and a large bruise was visible on his chest. Despite that, he roared and launched himself at Pebbles. He sunk his teeth into her, which made her cry in pain and shake Chavo off of her. After being let go, Chavo spat the sand out of his mouth. While seeing that part of the battle, Gracie and Hunter gasped while Grimsley grunted and tapped his finger on his chin. When Kukui grinned, he knew what would happen next. “I think the audience has waited long enough. Why don’t we end this with your Z-move, Chavo?” Kukui asked, and his Incineroar growled in response. He pumped his fist in the air. “Okay, get ready to make some noise! Malicious Moonsault, woo!” Kukui pulled out a small red Z-crystal and put it into the slot of his Z-ring, which glowed like Acerola’s own bracelet earlier. In quick succession, he moved his arms around, leaned himself back, and stretched his arms forward after he straightened himself back up. Chavo mimicked the exact same pose, and right after flames that resembled a wrestling ring sprung up and surrounded Pebbles. “Brace yourself!” Acerola warned. Immediately Pebbles raised her arms and her body glowed blue. Grimsley assumed that must be Iron Defense. Chavo let out his strongest roar and his body burst in flames. He jumped in the air and when he landed on Pebbles an explosion occurred. Smoke appeared briefly that made Grimsley and the others cough, and once the field was cleared Chavo took deep breaths but stood proud. Pebbles, meanwhile, squealed and collapsed like a sinkhole. Acerola rushed to her partner and hugged her. “You did great there, Pebbles!” she said, and that led Pebbles to return the embrace. “That battle is awesome!” Hunter said, beaming. His Elekid cheered in agreement. “Your Incineroar is the best!” Gracie went and held Chavo’s leg, who let out a startled growl. “Can Chavo play with us?” Kukui chuckled and raised his chest up. “I don’t see the problem with that if Chavo’s okay with it!” Chavo flashed Kukui another grin and gave him a thumbs up. Both Gracie and Hunter cheered, and then the children, their Pokémon, and Chavo raced to the shore. Grimsley couldn’t help but smile at the end result of the battle and the exchanges after. He glanced at his Pokémon to see their faces perked up, looking like they were impressed too. He faced back at Kukui and his face grew serious again. “It’s not often you see Pokémon researchers that are also competent battlers.” Kukui laughed and rubbed the back of his head. “Nah, I’m far from a good trainer compared to you. The pose I did is actually the same one used for the Z-move Black Hole Eclipse, which Chavo can learn also.” “Black Hole Eclipse? So that means your Incineroar is a dual fire and dark type?” “Yeah, cousin!” Kukui approached Grimsley and showed his Z-ring for him to see. Upon closer inspection, Grimsley noticed the Z-crystal having Chavo’s face on it. “The Z-crystal is the Incinium-Z, which only an Incineroar can use.” “Some Pokémon have Z-crystals that only themselves can learn,” Acerola said to Grimsley. “Mimikins is another Pokémon that has her own Z-crystal called the Mimikium-Z!” Grimsley’s eyes grew wide and he frowned. “Really? That Mimikyu is still full of surprises.” That caught Acerola off guard for a second, but then she grinned. “Speaking of surprises, professor you’re not going to believe what happened to me and Grimsley a few days ago.” “Oh, and what that might be?” Kukui asked, raising a brow. Acerola began telling him how she, Grimsley, Nanu, and Becky met with Colress and the Ultra Recon Squad. When she mentioned that group, Kukui gave a shocked face. “Wait, the Ultra Recon Squad? I met them sometime before you guys did.” “Did you meet them at Tapu Village?” Grimsley asked, folding his arms against his chest. He recalled them taking a great interest in that place. “I did, yeah. After checking in with the construction workers’ progress on the Pokémon League, I was approached by those two and they seemed excited about Alola having that.” “Did they mention about Necrozma and coming from a different world?” Acerola asked, and Kukui nodded. “They did, yeah. Apparently Necrozma is similar to what we call ‘The Blind One’ in our folklore and how we got our Z-crystals.” Kukui paused a second to wipe his glasses. “I was a little surprised, but believed them due to Magnolia’s research on Ultra Wormholes.” “Oh, you mean Professor Burnet!” Acerola said in a chirp-like voice. Grimsley’s brow quirked with great interest. “Professor Burnet? You mean the same Professor Burnet that worked with Professor Fennel’s research on dreams?” “Yeah! Take it you heard of her because she was from Unova?” “Somewhat. I never met her in person, but I recalled her being good friends with Professor Fennel and Professor Juniper.” “Ah, I see! Yeah, she, Fennel, and Juniper go way back. I actually first met her while visiting Unova, and then sometime later she moved to Alola to work in the Dimensional Research Lab.” A dazed gaze washed over Kukui’s face when he added, “We only got married a couple years ago, but she’s the most wonderful person I’ve ever met.” “Aw, how sweet!” Acerola said, clasping her hands and tiptoeing like a girl daydreaming. “You said she studies Ultra Wormholes, correct?” Grimsley asked. “I believed there was one in Melemele Island a few days ago, shortly after I first stepped in this region.” Kukui nodded, his face set. “I was just calling her today and she mentioned an Ultra Wormhole popping up there around that time.” “If it isn’t any trouble, I wouldn’t mind reading some of her research.” While Grimsley was already informed on Ultra Wormholes thanks to Zossie and Dulse, it wouldn’t hurt to study on them more. Perhaps Professor Burnet’s research might reveal new material. “Sure, I can show you some of Magnolia’s research. I can also have you meet her before you leave, yeah!” Kukui bumped his elbow onto Grimsley’s shoulder and winked at him. He stared blankly at him for a moment, then he smiled. “Meeting her won’t be necessary, but I appreciate the gesture nonetheless.” “I think that’s enough lesson on Z-moves for today,” Acerola said. “Why don’t we join with Chavo and the kids for a bit?” “Sounds like a plan!” Kukui said, his grin widening. After Kukui and Acerola headed off, Grimsley and his Pokémon followed behind. He gazed at the sky, the sun barely beginning to set. He would just watch Kukui and Acerola play with the children and Pokémon, but that was fine as he could finally relax today. Xxx When evening came, everyone gathered inside the dining hall to eat and talk with one another. The children told Becky how Acerola and Kukui battled each other and used Z-moves, to which the Aether employee mused how she wished she could’ve seen that instead of working. Becky then asked Grimsley how was his Z-move training, and he responded that it went fine and that he enjoyed the demonstrations. After everyone finished dinner, Acerola suggested to Grimsley that they call Iokua and let him know how the trip went. He agreed, and over the next several minutes they did just that. Acerola grabbed the tablet and had it up and running. They caught Iokua busy reading some journals at home, but otherwise he was delighted to see them safe and sound from the trip. They talked to him about what had occurred in the desert and Ruins of Abundance, Iokua looking very pleased. “That’s wonderful that all of you were able to see Tapu Bulu’s totem,” he said when their conversation was close to ending. “I take it you enjoyed the experience, Grimsley.” “I did,” Grimsley said, smiling. “The desert and Ruins of Abundance reminded me of the Desert Resort in Unova.” “Oh, you mean the Relic Castle? Fascinating piece of Unovan history there.” Iokua glanced around at the screen and frowned. “Is my father here with you two now?” “Uncle Nanu needed to leave back to Po Town and feed his hundred Meowth,” Acerola said, and that made Iokua chuckle. “He doesn’t want to admit it, but he does care for those Meowth. Speaking of which… Grimsley, have you talked to him about wanting a battle with him?” “I did, but he’s not interested at the moment. I even managed to get a Ghostinum-Z and he still refused.” Iokua’s eyes grew wide. “Wait, so you took on the island challenge?” “Not exactly. I tried to find my ring in the Thrifty Megamart, but then the totem Pokémon wanted me to battle her. She gave me the Z-crystal as thanks.” “Also get this,” Acerola said with a pouting face. “Professor Kukui came here to ask Uncle Nanu if he would be willing to join as an Elite Four, and he refused!” “Mhm, it doesn’t surprise me he would decline the offer,” Iokua said, nodding. He looked back at Grimsley. “Talk with him more and he’ll have a change of heart.” Grimsley stared blankly at him, unconvinced that would happen anytime soon. And yet, he didn’t want to give up just yet. “All right, I’ll give it more time.” “Say, Uncle Iokua,” Acerola said in a small voice that was odd for her, her eyes fluttering. “I’ve been thinking of seeing my mom and dad soon. It’s been over a few months since I last saw them.” Frowning a little, Grimsley had an idea what she had meant. He already knew her father was gone and her mother was nowhere in sight, too. Loss was one experience they shared. “You’re going to visit their graves,” he said, and Acerola’s gaze fell on the floor. “Yeah. They’re resting at Memorial Hill over at Akala Island as that’s where the royal family get buried at.” She looked back up at Grimsley and beamed. “I know they’re out here making sure Uncle Nanu and I take care of each other!” “I feel the same way,” Iokua said with a soft smile. He cleared his throat. “Anyways, I need to make sure Cora and the baby are doing all right. The both of you have a good night.” “Bye, Uncle Iokua! I’ll make sure to give you a call before I leave to see you,” Acerola said, and then she and Iokua hung up. She faced Grimsley. “I think I’ll visit my parents the day after tomorrow.” “I’m sure they’ll appreciate it,” Grimsley said. His smile started to fade when he realized… “Wait, Iokua and his wife are expecting. Does that mean…” “That Nanu’s going to be a grandfather?” Professor Kukui said as he approached them, grinning. “He is, yeah!” Grimsley imagined Nanu taking care of a baby, and that caused him to snicker. “I’m sorry, that just amuses me.” “Uncle Nanu doesn’t act like it, but I’m sure he would make a great grandfather!” Acerola said. Kukui grunted and nodded in agreement. He then said to Grimsley, “We can leave tomorrow morning and make a pit stop at Malie City. We’ll then take a bus to Mount Hokulani and meet with the trainers I’ve chosen for the Elite Four, Molayne and Kahili.” “Tomorrow morning, got it,” Grimsley said and nodded. “Awesome, can’t wait for you to meet them, yeah!” Kukui said, grinning. “I’ll be heading out now, you guys have a great evening!” “You too, Professor Kukui!” Acerola said as she and Grimsley waved to him goodbye. Kukui returned the gesture and left the building. As soon as he was gone, Grimsley dropped on the sofa and sighed. “Boy, am I exhausted!” he said, stretching his arms and staring at the ceiling. Acerola giggled. “Well you did chase the Murkrow all around the store and battle against Mimikins,” she said. When Mimikyu began tugging at her dress with her claws, she picked the Pokémon up and held her against her chest. Grimsley glanced around to see the Pokémon playing together once more. Both Yungoos and Elekid cheerfully rode on Roulette and Raz respectively. After they finished with their race, Raz approached Roulette and licked her face, their tails intertwining. A warm smile tugged at Grimsley’s lips. “Looks like your Pokémon are having fun here!” Acerola said, beaming. “They’ve been enjoying this region so far, I think.” Grimsley leaned back against the sofa, his head behind his arms. “I must say, Alola has been full of surprises.” “How about the Pokémon League? You’re excited to meet Alola’s Elite Four?” “I’m more curious what they’re like if anything. Nonetheless, I look forward speaking with them.” “Ah, okay!” Acerola’s grin grew wider. “I’m sure you’ll have fun meeting them!” Grimsley let out an indifferent grunt, and stared at the ceiling once more. When Kukui had asked him to help him with the league earlier, he was taken aback by that request because he was still sorting out his views on battling and feelings as an Elite Four. However, he thought lending a hand there could be worthwhile. Tomorrow was going to be interesting.
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girl-like-substance
the seal will bite you if you give him half a chance
Posts: 527
Pronouns: xe/xem
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Post by girl-like-substance on Jan 15, 2019 22:58:49 GMT
More Foul Play! Always a good thing. :> This is a bit of a quieter chapter, I think; sure, there's a battle, but the stakes are very low, and it doesn't even really involve Grimsley himself, except as a spectator. But that's fine too: this is a fic about a guy taking a holiday, after all, and what you can do really well with a fic like that is give a bunch of characters you enjoy a space to interact with one another. And that's what we've got here; there are so many cameos in the Alola games that don't go anywhere, and you build on those to create exactly that kind of space, populated with just that kind of characters, all interacting in interesting ways.
Anyway, onto specifics. I like that little detail about how palossand scare other pokémon. It's a very pokémon thing, I think, to be this incredibly dangerous creature right here is my friend, he likes treats and head scritches, and I think it's especially an Acerola thing; she's partnered to an array of terrifying ghosts, dresses like a ghost herself, and yet she's just like, the single chirpiest person in Alola. You capture that about her very well, but you also give her a depth I think is a bit underdeveloped in the games themselves, that sneaks in at those odd moments like when we get reminded that she's an orphan, that there is an unspoken reason why she hangs around at Aether House.
It may just be that I don't remember this happening in the earlier chapters, but it seems to me that the pokémon are getting more characterful as we go along, too; Raz and Roulette are excellent here, playing with the other pokémon, and Chavo has a way of playing to a crowd that feels really appropriate for a species of pokémon inspired by pro wrestlers. I also like how you handle his Malicious Moonsault – there are certain moves that are really hard to translate into fic, because they only really make sense in-game where a wrestling ring can be summoned out of nowhere, but having the whole thing form out of fire is a great way of having, like, Chavo's essential nature as an incineroar explode out through his flame manipulation powers.
I'm looking forward to seeing more of Burnet, too! Despite being someone who seems to have a logical connection to half of the Alola games' plot, she's really under-utilised in those games – she tells you wormholes exist and that's about it – so it's going to be interesting to see what you make of her here! Not least because she and Kukui are a very sweet couple, and you clearly aren't pulling your punches when it comes to representing that here; Kukui is really obviously so in love with her that he kinda goes to pieces just thinking about her. It's very cute!
Finally, I just caught one typo this time around:
That should be 'prepared'.
So yes! I really enjoyed this. And I'm very much looking forward to seeing what you have in store for us with Professor Burnet!
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Post by bay on Feb 22, 2019 4:25:46 GMT
Hey thanks for your comments, eldestoyster! Yeah, first off I thought it would be nice for Grimsley to take a break for a chance haha. Him getting a lesson on Z-moves is a good opportunity for that. Over Acerola I thought it would be realistic to also show a more serious side to her and her feelings on being an orphan. Poor girl. =< Raz and Roulette didn't really appear until last chapter, but glad to hear you liked how I wrote them! Chavo and Pebbles were fun to write too! Concerning Burnet, I admit her role isn't going to be too big here due to this story focusing on Nanu and Grimsley. I will have her know a few things more than in the games, though. Okay, I think that's enough! I'm here now with Chapter Seven! Chapter Seven MementoTen years ago“Aw Charlotte, you sure you’re okay not being in the picture?” Sana asked, her lips in a slight pout. “You’re part of the task force, too!” “It’s all right, honey!” Charlotte told her with a reassuring grin. “I’ve already been in a few with you guys, so it’s not a loss!” It was a bright, sunny day in Ula’ula Beach. Because of the nice weather, Sana had suggested to everyone that they take a picture together outside. Charlotte and Agent 100KR were enthusiastic about it, while Nanu rolled his eyes and followed them. He could feel the warm sand in his dress shoes and his hair fluttering against the ocean breeze. “You two took more pictures than usual,” he said, staring at them. His arms folded against his chest. “You’re gonna run out of space on your tablets.” “I want to create as many memories as possible. Once you become an amnesic like me, you’ll learn to appreciate every moment in the present.” “How about that journal of yours? I haven’t seen you write anything the past week.” “Got a bit depressing, so I stopped at least for now. Rather not being reminded how much I’ve failed helping the UBs.” Sana’s gaze fell on the ground, and she wrapped her arms around herself. “I’m still shaken by what happened to Adhesive and Stinger.” Earlier in the week Nanu’s task force had found two Ultra Beasts deep in the caves. Stinger had poisoned and killed a non-threatening civilian, so it was deemed dangerous and had to be taken down. Adhesive, which Nanu believed to be its child, was captured and taken to the labs to be used in experiments. Thinking about that made his chest ache. He released a sharp sigh. “It’s a horrible move on our part, I know. But what’s done is done.” Sana glared daggers at him. “Well you don’t sound too upset. Happy being Interpol’s little Houndour, right?” “Sana, please!” Charlotte moved in front of her. Her palm was affectionately on Sana’s shoulder. “I know you’re upset, we all are. But Triple Zero is right, we can’t undo what has already happened. We just have to move forward the best we can.” “I for one think that’s a sweet gesture, ladies,” 100KR said as he approached in between everyone. “A picture is worth a million words, as that saying goes.” “It’s a thousand words, KR. Never a fan of my face being shown on pictures.” “Because of how ugly it is?” A smug grin pulled on the corner of Sana’s lips. “Shut up, Sana.” “Now now, no more bickering here! Let us enjoy this relaxing moment together, shall we?” “Thank you, KR.” Charlotte pulled out a digital camera and tiptoed on her heels, her purple curls bouncing on her shoulders. “Okay everyone, smile and say Pyukumuku!” Sana and Looker did their poses while Nanu just stared. A bright flash from the camera, and the picture was taken. Xxx Present dayIt took Nanu only about half an hour to arrive at Po Town’s police station. A Flygon from the Poke Ride service brought him back and he was grateful that he didn’t need to ride a Sharpedo and go through Route 15’s boulders. He was right that the Meowth finished all the food he left for them, and even destroyed the unopened bags he was saving for later. After he poured more food into their bowls, he sat on his desk and turned on his computer. Persian and Sableye were out of their pokeballs, Persian curled up next to his chair while Sableye sat on the floor chewing some pokepuffs. His conversations with Grimsley earlier today was still on his mind, so he decided to check out the Unova Pokémon League website. As expected, it had all the information from how to register for your trainer license, upcoming tournaments, and current gym leaders and Elite Four. He interacted with a lot of Gym Leaders and Elite Four across several regions back when he was in Interpol, but never really formed meaningful connections with them. Nanu clicked on Grimsley’s page and it showed him in a much fancier suit and less gray hair. He was posed sitting on a chair with his legs crossed, his expression mischievous and confident. Reading through his information, he was invited to the Elite Four a year or two before Nanu had retired from Interpol. He was busy with the UB Task Force then, so it was no wonder the two hadn’t met yet. It then crossed his mind to look up on Grimsley’s family. The Thomas family line had had a big influence in Unova for generations. Many of its members either were in politics, owned land, or ran several high profile businesses. Grimsley’s father Finn Thomas had owned a few sports teams and ran a successful hotel chain, but for some reason that didn’t pass down to his family after he had passed away. Grimsley ended up being one of the best trainers in Unova, so he turned out fine. Nanu was reminded of when he, Grimsley and Acerola were in the desert, and the girl mentioned about being royalty. “So your family had fallen from grace, too?” Grimsley had asked her that day. Nanu snorted, amused that he also practically come from nobility. Compared to him on the computer screen, the Grimsley visiting Alola now was a different person. A trash can dropping was heard outside, which caused some of the Meowth to wake up from their nap and Nanu to jump out of his seat. He and his Pokémon hurried outside, Persian and Sableye following him behind. His heart almost skipped a beat at the sight before him. “Why are all these Meowth on me, Chief?” a man asked as he tried to shake off the Meowth clawing onto his coat and pants. Near them, a purple haired woman dressed in a dark suit folded her arms and pressed her lips. “Perhaps they smelled the malasadas you had bought earlier,” she said. “But malasadas make great housewarming gifts, don’t you think?” The man chuckled, only to then yell when one of the Meowth dug its claws onto his leg. “KR, Anabel?” Nanu finally said. The two turned their attention to him and gave him stunned looks. “Officer Nanu!” Anabel said in a soft voice. “Hello, kid. Your hair grew quite a bit, looks good on you.” “I agree, yes!” KR said with a laugh. He slung his arm around Anabel’s shoulder and pulled her close to him, making her blush. She sighed and had the decency to push him away. “I appreciate the enthusiasm there, Mr. Looker, but that’s a bit much.” She grinned at Persian, who purred and nudged on her leg. “Hello there, Persian. Haven’t seen you in a long while.” Looker? Right, he almost forgot that was the codename he was using now. He was used to calling him KR that it was hard for him to think of him by another name. The corner of Nanu’s mouth twitched. Sableye approached Looker and tugged at his pants. When he gazed down, she was pointing at his bag. “Oh, a new Pokémon of Nanu’s, huh? I know, I’ll give you a piece of this!” He pulled a small malasada out from the bag and handed it to Sableye, who grabbed and munched her snack with her mouth wide open. Anabel smiled at that sight, then she faced Nanu. “Is it alright if we come in?” “Yeah, it’s fine. Just be careful not to step on the Meowth or their toys.” They followed him inside the police station. Nanu grabbed a bag from one of the seats and dusted the fur off. As soon as Anabel and Looker sat down, one of the Meowth jumped in between them and rubbed onto Anabel’s chest. She smiled and scratched her cheeks. “Do either of you want something to eat or drink? I only have crackers, beef jerky, and cup ramen for food at the moment. Kahuna duties, you know?” “I prepared some malasadas for us to share, so we’re okay with food!” Looker grinned and held up a bag with a Bewear as a logo. “I’m fine with just water, thanks,” Anabel said. Nanu grunted and went to grab some water bottles from the fridge in his office. When he returned, Looker and Anabel were already chewing on their malasadas. The Meowth that wanted Anabel’s attention earlier licked some of the crumbs on the table. He handed the water bottles to his guests and they thanked him. “So, what brings you guys here?” Nanu asked as he went back to his desk and closed the browser on his computer. He leaned back on his chair. “Well technically we’re supposed to be undercover,” Looker said. “I was provided with secret information from the inside.” “Huh? What kind of info?” “First order of business is the Pokémon mafia running afoot here. Team Skull, is it?” He turned to Anabel, who nodded. “There have been reports of them stealing Pokémon and other crimes. Since you live very close to them, we thought to ask you if you know anything about their whereabouts.” Nanu quirked an eyebrow at them, then he snorted. “You think they’re a serious criminal organization? They’re just kids trying to support themselves. Some are a little more brash than others, but the majority of them are harmless. Pretty much all of Alola don’t take them seriously.” Anabel narrowed her eyes at him, as if appalled at hearing that. “Sounds like you just don’t want to deal with them.” “Hey, you asked if I know what they’re up to, right? Save for some incidents in other islands, they’ve mostly been keeping their business to themselves here.” Anabel still didn’t look convinced, but Looker chuckled and grinned at her. “If Mr. Nanu says they pose no threat, then I’ll trust his judgment.” Looker looked back at Nanu, his face now more serious. “However, there’s still the concern of one individual that associates with them. Gladion Jubert, if I recall.” “The Aether President’s son? What about him?” “We’ve been informed that he has a highly classified Pokémon with him,” Anabel said. “His motivations are unclear, though.” Gladion Jubert. He first appeared in Po Town almost two years ago. He thought he had just been a misfit like the other grunts, due to his torn clothing. He soon realized he was Lusamine Jubert’s son and wondered why he was with Team Skull. “I saw him talking with Team Skull a few times, but they don’t consider him their family. As for the Pokémon, I think I caught him with it once. It has a helmet and fish scales as legs, right?” “That’s the description we’ve been handed, yes. Have you talked with him yet?” Nanu glanced up at the ceiling, groaning. “A few times, I think? Reason he’s with them is so he and his Pokémon can get stronger. That’s all he’s willing to tell me.” While Nanu and Anabel were talking, Looker wrote down some notes on his little black notebook. After that was finished, he tapped the pen on the pages and gave a satisfied grunt. “Any information regarding him and Team Skull, no matter how big or small, are appreciated. There’s one more matter we must discuss, and then we’re done.” He offered Anabel a quick nod, which she returned. “We’ve been reported that an Ultra Wormhole had popped up inside Aether Paradise and that an Ultra Beast appeared,” Anabel said. Upon hearing that, Nanu sat straight up and furrowed his brow. “Are you serious?” Looker gave a solemn nod. “Two trainers came for a tour of the site, and they ended up in the middle of it. Charlotte witnessed that phenomenon with them.” A lump formed inside Nanu’s throat. Charlotte was one of the agents in the science division who helped with the UB Task Force team ten years ago. After he had retired from Interpol, the two kept in contact if there was anything important, but he admit they had fallen out of touch for a while now. “Charlotte, huh? Can’t believe she’s still undercover. I mean, I’ve seen the ads and news, but…” As his voice trailed off, he recalled what happened on the day he, Grimsley, and Acerola met with Colress and the Ultra Recon Squad. “Did she let you two know about the Ultra Recon Squad?” “You mean the strange individuals in spacesuits?” Anabel spoke. “Yes, we’re aware of them as they’ve been working with Aether Foundation for a while now. Have you met them before?” “I did a few days ago. Me and a group were heading to Haina Desert and we met with them on our way there. They were spouting something about Necrozma and Alola’s light.” “Necrozma?” Looker scratched his head. “You mean the beast those beings from another world worship?” “It’s more known as ‘The Blinding One’ in some Alolan folklore, but yes. Not only that, those guys have Adhesive with them.” A sharp frown crossed Looker’s face. “Yes, we were shown that UB on our first meeting with them. Protocol calls for those beasts to be either eliminated or sent to headquarters, but this is a special case. The Ultra Recon Squad are working with a scientist under Interpol’s watch.” “Did that scientist used to work for Team Plasma? Grimsley from that group I mentioned used to know him,” Nanu said. Both Anabel and Looker exchanged stunned looks. “Grimsley?” Looker asked. “Back when Team Plasma caused chaos in Unova the Elite Four were witnesses. He happens to be the same person?” “Same one. He’s here for a holiday it seems. I was unfortunate enough to stumble upon him.” “If so, we must speak with him if it relates to Aether and the Ultra Recon Squad,” Anabel said. “Don’t bother. They had a fall out sometime ago, so I doubt you’ll get any new information from him.” Nanu paused. “All of this makes me wonder if Aether is planning something big.” “If that’s the case, then we’ll keep an eye out on any suspicious activity,” Anabel said. At that moment, her phone rang and she looked at the number on it. “It’s HQ. I should take this, it’ll only be a moment.” Anabel got up, gave the Meowth on the table another quick scratch, and went outside. Nanu got out of his seat and walked in front of Looker. He stole a glance at the door. “Does Anabel know about her condition?” Looker’s face turned pale. He hung his head down and his shoulders slouched. “I haven’t had the courage to tell her. Whenever I was about to, Sana’s face appeared instead of hers.” “So you’ve still having those nightmares, too.” Nanu’s throat dried up when he said that. He stared at the ceiling. “I dreamt about Sana again last night. I woke up everyone in Aether House while sleeping there.” A pitiful expression crossed Looker’s face. “I recall Anabel having dreams with UB Glutton that were different from ours. Her nightmares are also why I’m unable to inform her the truth.” He gave Looker a stern look, only to then sigh and pinch his nose. “I would’ve knocked the back of your head, but I’m no better than you. Poor her, living a lie for so long.” A long silence stretched between them. Persian growled and nudged against Looker’s leg. He smiled and stroked the gem on her forehead. “The Chief’s reaction won’t be favorable, but I’ll tell her everything when the time comes. I shall carry the burden so you don’t have to.” “Jean…” Nanu said in a low voice, letting Looker’s real name slip. He rarely called him that when he was an agent, only used either when he was angry or if it was more personal. Realizing that, he let out an awkward cough. “But yes, she needs to know.” When Looker caught Nanu’s reaction there, he chuckled. “Off guard saying my given name, hm?” “It’s not like that!” Nanu snapped and raised his arm. By then, Anabel reentered the police station. “HQ just wanted to check up on us on our current assignment here.” She looked at both men with amusement. “Were you two talking about something?” Nanu was about to respond, but luckily Looker beat him to it. “Oh, some old work stories we were exchanging. Catching up and all!” Looker scratched his head and made a sheepish laugh. “That was before you joined Interpol with us,” Nanu added. “Ah, I see. Hope I didn’t interrupt or anything.” Anabel’s face softened, and she turned to him. “How you’ve been holding up, Officer Nanu? ” Nanu shrugged. “I’m still breathing, so not bad I guess. Being a kahuna here and watching over Poni Island gets draining, but the Team Skull kids here are keeping me awake.” “And your son?” Looker asked as he gave the last piece of the malasada to the Meowth. “Much better than me. He and his wife are expecting their first kid soon.” “That’s magnifico!” Already a wide grin stretched across Looker’s face. He hugged Nanu tight, causing him to struggle to breath. “Okay that’s enough,” Nanu said in a weak voice, and that made Looker let go. Anabel giggled. “Congratulations on that! You and your family must be overjoyed,” she said and smiled. Nanu’s stomach churned. The last time he talked with Iokua he didn’t even get to ask how Cora and the baby were doing. A part of him wanted to bang his head on the wall for forgetting that. He would make that up the next time he speaks with him, then. “Yeah, they’re pretty excited the last I heard. I’m sure they’ll make great parents.” Better than me, that’s for certain, he almost said after but kept it to himself. “Sounds like me with Emma while I investigated in Kalos. She was the first young human I took under my wing, and my most cherished pupil.” “When away there he couldn’t stop talking about her and often sent me pictures of them together! I still have them on my phone.” Anabel approached Nanu and she showed him a picture on her phone. In it Looker stood next to a dark-haired girl holding an Espurr, the two grinning ear to ear. Somehow she looked familiar... “Isn’t she the girl that caused havoc in Lumiose City?” Nanu asked, and Looker hung his head in shame. “You’re not wrong, but it isn’t her fault! It was the schemes of an ex-member of Team Flare to blame! Thanks to another member I did a plea bargain with, I was able to track him down!” “Oh right, I read that he got arrested and the girl was excused of her crimes. That must be some adventure you had in Kalos.” Looker laughed out loud, hands on his stomach. “What can I say, a globe-trotting, crime-fighting elite is I! Anyhow, you’ll love Emma and Mimi for certain!” Anabel smiled a little. “Before coming here, Mr. Looker mentioned he wants to arrange a meeting with you and Emma through the Holo Caster. Also possibly in person in the future.” “What?” Nanu’s eyes grew wide. “I never heard of the girl until now, and already you want me to have a playdate with her!” “Don’t worry, it’ll only take a minute or so of your time! Let me just find her number and we’re set!” Already Looker pulled out a small device from his coat and pushed some buttons on it. After that, a blue hologram of a young girl appeared. A small Espurr jumped onto her shoulders. “Looker, is that you?” she asked with a surprised face. “I’ve been in bed for almost an hour already, but the Holo Caster rang and I saw your number.” “Oops, I forgot Alola and Kalos are in different time zones! I was excited for you to meet an old colleague of mine.” “Huh, is that all? Couldn’t that wait until later?” “I would have to agree,” Anabel said in a matter of fact tone. That led Looker to shush her. “Shouldn’t take too long, promise!” Looker nudged Nanu’s shoulder. He furrowed his brow, then rolled his eyes and looked into the hologram. “Hi there, Emma. I’m Nanu, Looker and I used to work in Interpol together.” “Nice to meet you, Nanu!” Emma flashed him a grin. “Looker mentions you whenever he talks about his adventures! Says that you’re a fan of cat Pokémon!” Nanu flinched and grunted in surprise. As if amused, Persian made several growls that sounded like a giggle. “He’s not entirely wrong there. Since we’re here, tell me a little about yourself.” “Well I’m an orphan that has been living on the streets almost all my life. Looker then helped me get on my feet and now I have my own detective agency!” “Wait, seriously! Already in the big leagues, huh?” Emma giggled and scratched Mimi’s chin, causing the feline to purr. “It’s all thanks to him Mimi and I have a place to live! I love this job as I’m able to help out the citizens of Lumiose.” Looker beamed when Emma spoke about him. Anabel had her hand on his shoulder, smiling proudly at him. “Enough about me, how about you?” “I’m a police officer and kahuna. If you don’t know, kahunas basically watch over one of the islands in Alola.” “That’s so cool! Must be tiring doing both, though.” “It is, but this island is boring half the time so it isn’t all that bad. It’s getting late where you’re at, so I won’t take up any more of your time.” “Hey, no problem at all. It’s nice talking with you Nanu! I want to say hi to Anabel before I go.” “Sure thing, kid.” Nanu jerked his head slightly at Looker for him to go to Anabel, which he did. He listened as the two ladies started talking. “Hello Emma, I hope you’re doing well.” Emma crossed her arms, and both she and Mimi pouted. “Can’t believe you guys are in Alola without me!” Anabel chuckled. “We already been through this before. Mr. Looker and I are taking care of some business and don’t want you in any harm.” “Yeah, I get that. You have to make it up by taking me to your guys’ next trip!” Next to Emma, Mimi nodded and growled. “All right, I’ll talk to Mr. Looker about that. You have a good night.” “Thanks! Good luck to you two!” Emma said, beaming. She and Mimi waved goodbye, and the hologram on Looker’s Holo Caster vanished. “Emma’s wonderful, you agree?” Looker said with a grin. “She seems like a good kid, yeah. Her Espurr is also cute.” Looker nodded enthusiastically. “The Chief is also fond of her. Why, she would make a great mother to her!” Anabel spat out the water she was drinking from the bottle. Her face flushed and she shifted her gaze away for a second. “I love Emma very much, but I don’t know about being her mother.” “Perhaps I did get carried away there.” Looker made a sheepish laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. He sighed happily. “Us three weren’t a team all that long, but we did work well together.” “Remember that time we went to Goldenrod City?” Anabel said. “We had to chase down the criminal through the park while a business party was held there. One of the clowns got mad at us for destroying the balloons.” With a crooked smile, Nanu said, “Or the time we were in Castelia City and you guys pretended to get a business loan? Looker got jealous when that guy flirted with you.” Looker flinched, and he stared at Nanu. “I only reacted that way because I didn’t want any harm done to her!” Anabel chuckled, covering her mouth. She stopped to look at her phone and the wrinkles on her forehead knitted. “Sorry to cut this reunion short, but Mr. Looker and I have to be on our way. There are a few contacts we have to follow up on and leave for Poni Island tomorrow.” Nanu’s throat went dry and his fingers curled. Last thing he wanted was for her to remember being washed ashore again. He glanced at Looker, a deep frown stretching across his features. “Will you be alright?” Anabel gasped, as if she had already figured out what he meant by that. She smiled at him after. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” By the shakiness in her voice, Nanu wasn’t convinced that was the case. However, he wasn’t going to stop her if she wanted to do this. He returned a smile of his own. “If you guys get in any trouble, don’t hesitate to reach me. I’ve been overlooking Poni Island also until the new kahuna gets chosen.” “Good to know if we ever need some assistance!” Looker said with a grateful grin. As they began their goodbyes, Nanu shared a small embrace with Anabel and shook hands with Looker. The two also patted Persian on the forehead, which she enjoyed. They reached the door, and Anabel stepped out while Looker stopped and looked over his shoulder. “Oh, one last thing. I left on the table a postcard from Charlotte. The best tours in Aether Paradise are conducted by her!” He waved and left the station too. A deep frown settled on Nanu’s face. His Pokémon gazed up, Persian letting out a worried meow while Sableye tilted her head and clicked her tongue. “They’ll be fine, very capable of watching themselves. Let’s see what that postcard is about.” On the table one of the Meowth was playing with the malasada bag. Nanu noticed the postcard was covered by her bottom, so when he tried to grab it she hissed and scratched his hand. He winced and waited until she jumped off to take the postcard. On the front it was a glossy photo of two wide smiling Aether employees posing with a Sandygast and Palossand. The Aether Foundation’s logo and name was printed on the top in gold. Nanu flipped to the back, which had an environmental awareness message in neat handwriting. Sandygast and Palossand thrived in the sands of Alola, so sometimes they would accidentally eat plastic and other waste lying around. Thanks to the efforts of the Aether Foundation we’re able to help them from further decay. This is why it’s important to keep our beaches and oceans clean!
-W.C. Santana Assistant Branch Chief Aether ParadiseNanu couldn’t help but grin. This was the first time in a long while since she had sent him a written message in that fashion. That meant something big was about to happen, perhaps relating to what Looker and Anabel had told him. “Hey, that’s not for you to play!” he said when one of the Meowth’s paws kept hitting the postcard. He clicked his tongue at Persian, who growled and grabbed the Meowth by the back of the neck with her mouth. Nanu sat back on his desk and set his friend’s message aside. He pulled out the photograph of him, Looker, and Sana several years ago, the one Charlotte had taken of them. His fingers tapped at it, and he and snorted at that memory. He and Sana acted like two Murkrow fighting over shiny jewelry, like what happened with Grimsley’s ring earlier. What they had in common was feeling helpless after taking Adhesive, Stinger, and countless other UBs to HQ. Thinking what had happened to them made his stomach churn. Aether and the wormholes. He, Looker, and Charlotte tried to find the answers for ten years, almost to no avail. Seemed now they would get them very soon. Notes: If you guys haven't caught on, yes I have Wicke be a secret informant scientist going undercover. I got inspired by the fic Man In Twilight, which is a cool Nanu centric story you guys should check out (and the authors' portrayal of Nanu is a thousand times better than mine orz). Wicke is planned to make an appearance SOONtm. Besides that, I also did a short sidestory, Shark Bite! The part where Nanu teased Looker being jealous is from that story haha. And for the AO3 folks, I now have a Foul Play verse series! So yeah, I might do other Foul Play sidestories when the mood stirkes. I hope to have Ch 8 posted in a few weeks since I got the draft done for it already. Ch 9 is still in progress. After that I probably will go on a short hiatus to hash out a solid plan for the final chapters and take care real life stuff. And as always, credit to bobandbill for great betaing!
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girl-like-substance
the seal will bite you if you give him half a chance
Posts: 527
Pronouns: xe/xem
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Post by girl-like-substance on Feb 25, 2019 23:15:15 GMT
I like how the Interpol squad all have nicknames for one another based on their codenames! That's a great touch – like sure, they've been given these official call-signs, but it's a mark of how close they've become and how well they work as a team that they've modified them like this in the course of their time together. I bet Nanu absolutely loves being called Triple Zero, huh. :P
It's also an interesting flashback in general; I've seen that flashbulb fade-to-present thing in film and on TV, but never in fiction before, but I think it works pretty well here, given how you can see the new Interpol team laid over the top of the old one as the chapter moves from its first to its second part – shared nightmares of guzzlord, shared roles (bait, chaperone, old guard), all that stuff. I like the structure a lot.
On the topic of the nightmares! I'm liking all the 'Shark Bite' crossover stuff, like the nightmares and the loan sting operation; if there are other Foul Play side stories in future, they'll have a willing reader in me, since I'm obviously the target audience for like, interconnected one-shots that occupy a place on the border of a larger chapterfic. :>
I think the most interesting person here is probably Looker. Like, in-game, he's sort of … weird and uncomfortable in this part of the story; we're meant to think kindly of his overprotective, condescending attitude towards Anabel because of the trauma of the past (brief tangent: I like Sana a lot, and also that we both apparently looked at the Interpol team and had similar ideas about the kind of person it was missing, lol), but I found it kind of hard to do that, because it is just really uncomfortable. You represent that here really faithfully, but you make it more human: he's still weirdly intense and very thoughtless at times (the moment where he says Anabel would make a great mother is a case in point) but he's got that electric, bouncy enthusiasm that characterises a lot of his early appearances in the games, and overall we get this picture of someone who's just completely oblivious to when he's crossing lines. Mostly innocently, and you do feel for him, but you do also get a sense that this kind of behaviour could be dangerous if it got out of hand.
There are a lot of great small moments here too, as ever – I've talked about the crossover with 'Shark Bite', but I also love the nod to the XY postgame and Looker's detective agency, which is something I've literally never seen represented in fic before. (Though maybe that just means I haven't been looking for it, I guess.) On top of all that, there's this sense that like … Grimsley's side of the story is about approaching Alola like a holiday, while Nanu's shows us all the stuff that actually happens here, in the lives of people for whom this is real life and not just a picturesque break. There's stuff going on under the surface – real trouble at the Aether Foundation (Wicke as an undercover cop! That's so cool; she's sort of bland and forgettable in-game, and it's such a good idea to make her actively trying to be bland and forgettable because she's trying to be inconspicuous, oh man), people keeping tabs on potentially dangerous pokémon like Gladion's partner and visitors from other universes … so much good stuff. I'm really looking forward to seeing where it all goes!
Finally, I have a few typos and stuff to point out:
That should be 'in experiments'.
That should be 'into'.
That should be 'had had'.
That should be 'Compared'.
That should just be 'yell', rather than 'yelled'.
That looks like a typo for 'spouting' to me. Also, I think there's something missing after 'spouting' – 'stuff' or 'something', maybe?
It looks like maybe 'enough' is missing from after 'unfortunate' here? I mean, technically it doesn't need to be here, but the context sort of suggests that maybe it should be.
'That' seems superfluous here – 'You're not wrong' would be fine.
That should be 'I've been in bed', I think – like, she's just been woken while she was still there, it was like an ongoing state in the past rather than a discrete action.
Missing an R on the end of 'purr' here.
I think the word 'want' might be missing between 'don't' and 'you' here.
The bottle has become the object of the verb 'drinking' here, with the result that it sounds like Anabel is drinking the bottle from the water – it just needs some rearranging to restore the sense you meant. Like 'Anabel spat out the water she was drinking from the bottle'.
That's about it from me! Really nice blend of canon and creative interpretation here, and a neat structure too, with the way you overlaid the present on the past. And so many cool details and touches, too! I think this is easily one of the strongest chapters of the fic to date, so congrats on pulling it all together!
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Post by sikesaner on Mar 24, 2019 2:11:38 GMT
RIP tree. I wonder if it ignited with weird ghostly flames or just the regular sort. Either way, neat. :D
Kukui’s adorkable nature seems to have rubbed off on Chavo a bit. What a good kitty. :D
I’d say maybe he should find a safer place for the bags, but honestly? There probably aren’t any. XD These are meowth, after all, and generally speaking those seem to be pretty clever. I’ll bet they could figure out how to pick locks.
Awww. Friendly kitty.
I can’t say for sure if they’re all her kittens, but even if they’re not, I’ll bet she treats them like they are. :D
So yeah! Lots of cute kittiness in these past chapters, which I approve of quite a lot. :D And I gotta say, I’m liking your Kukui as well, and intrigued by the role Wicke looks to be taking in all this.
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Post by bay on Mar 25, 2019 0:57:33 GMT
Some replies and notes under spoilers! eldestoyster: Glad to hear that flashback scene worked the way it was! So funny story, originally for that scene I originally was only gonna have Nanu remember the dialogue that happened. However, a similar scene in Man in Twlight did that, so I decided that dialogue could be expanded in its own scene.
As for you never seen it before, there was one or two fanfic stories I read that kinda did that structure. Can't remember any published works that did off the top of my head, though. I probably haven't read enough books, haha.
Also glad to hear you liked the Shark Bite references! I do have a few other Foul Play sidestories, like a follow up to Shark Bite, maybe one about Grimsley and Colress before and during B2W2, and "Ghoul Play" that Dramatic Melody kept telling me I should do haha.
Yeah, so Looker in this chapter I feel was harder for me than in Shark Bite for that reason. I thought about how Looker has worked with Anabel for so long now that him keeping the truth from Anabel is really eating him up inside. I still loved that SM postgame, but I feel they left whether Anabel finds out about being a Faller hanging there.
I thought referencing the XY postgame would be cute, heh. And ahhh, love your comment over how Grimsley and Nanu sees Alola differently. This gives me an idea where Nanu will totally talk to Grimsley about that at some point. As for Wicke, when I was reading Man In Twilight I thought that was such a cool idea and thought it totally makes sense. Also Interpol keeping tabs on Gladion and Ultra Recon Squad will be brought up again soon!
Thanks for the usual grammar and typo check. I haven't made the changes yet, will get to those hopefully soon heh. Again, thanks so much for your support! =3
sikesaner: That scene with Acerola's z-move there, probably ghostly flames. I tried to describe it the same way as how it was shown in the games!
Heh yeah I tried to have Chavo a similar personality as Kukui there!
LOL the cats totally would find a way to get those bags even if Nanu put the bags in a safe place.
To be honest, I haven't thought about whether some of those kittens are Persian's or not. Eithe way, she totally cares for the kitties.
Glad you thought all the kittiness is fun! As I mentioned, Wicke will make at least one appearance in a future chapter!
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Remember when I said this would be eight chapters? Yeah, throw that out of the window. I don't have a definite chapter count since I'm trying to jammed pack less scenes/locations in one chapter haha. I'm bouncing between writing and revising Chapters 11-13 atm and I know endgame will have at least 4 or 5 chapters, so let's say 19 or 20 chapters maybe?
Speaking of which, I have Chapter 9's rough draft done. However, I'm thinking of doing April Camp Nano, and it'll depend how busy my beta will be that month. I'll still try to have it posted in mid April, but if not then May for sure.
Before we begin this chapter, want to mention Starfall Hills is from the anime. And yes, the last scene I got inspiration from the Minior episode too. Also, the nickname I gave for Kahili's Toucannon is also from the anime! This won't be the only time I'll have anime references either! Also, thanks to bobandbill for the great beta as alway! All right, now time for Chapter Eight! Chapter Eight Power TripThe next morning after Grimsley packed up his things he met up with Kukui outside. Acerola and Becky were also there to see them leave. “Our pokérides should be here any moment, yeah!” Kukui said to Grimsley. “Also I let Molayne and Kahili know that we’ll be meeting up with them later.” “Will you stick around Ula’ula Island for a few more days?” Becky asked. “Perhaps. There are still some sites on this island I haven’t gotten around to yet.” “There’s Lake of the Moone that’s right next to Ula’ula Meadows!” Acerola said, grinning. “It has some neat history that relates to our legendary Pokémon Lunala and Solgaleo!” Grimsley nodded and a small smile formed on his lips. “Lake of the Moone does sound lovely. I’ll see about visiting there eventually.” After he finished speaking, a beastly roar was heard. Grimsley looked up to see a Skarmory and a Charizard approaching them. They soon landed on the ground and everyone gathered around them. “Looks like our rides are here!” Kukui said. He went towards the Charizard and patted his forehead. Already the Skarmory began pecking at his sleeve and that made Grimsley glare at her. Upon a closer look, his eyes grew wide. “You’re the same Skarmory that wanted my coin.” A sharp frown crossed Grimsley’s face. Skarmory squawked and flapped her wings, as if responding ‘yes’. “Seems you two are already connected!” Becky said with a chuckle. Grimsley grunted and shook his head. He and Kukui hopped onto their ride Pokémon’s backs. “Do drop by Aether House again soon, you two!” Acerola said. “Of course, yeah!” Kukui said. He faced his Charizard and patted the back of his neck. “All right, off to Malie City, woo!” Kukui whistled and that caused both his and Grimsley’s Pokémon to flap their wings and launch into the air. While gripping on the reins, Grimsley glanced down to see Acerola and Becky waving goodbye to them. He smiled, already considering visiting Aether House once more. He gazed at the sky as the sun began to rise and hung tight onto Skarmory, and they continued to follow alongside Kukui and Charizard toward Malie City. xxx The last time Grimsley was in the air he wasn’t at ease. The air was slightly cooler since it was morning, and his body relaxed this time. While he and Skarmory were flying, the armored bird kept pecking at Grimsley's hair. He carefully maintained his hairstyle, so he often pushed her head away from him. "What is it with Pokémon eating my hair and clothes?" Grimsley asked as he smoothed his hair with one hand and gripped on the reins with his other. Kukui chuckled and looked over his head. "Perhaps they're very drawn to you!" "I seriously doubt that." Grimsley then asked, "I'm curious, how come we're not going straight to Mount Hokulani?" "A couple reasons, cousin! A few more people had reserved our Pokémon also, so they need to be given back soon. Another reason is that some Pokémon living there are very hazardous for us to get close to, yeah!" Grimsley's brow was raised with surprise and interest. He imagined he meant the ones that could use Explosion and similar moves. It took a little over half an hour for Grimsley and Kukui to make it to Malie City. After they landed and said farewell to their Pokémon, they took the Exeggutor Express, a bus shaped like an Alolan Exeggutor, that was heading to Mount Hokulani. There were a few passengers inside. One seat was occupied by a girl with her Zorua sleeping on her lap, and two more taken by a couple going to the Hokulani Observatory together. Grimsley gazed through the window to see the tall grass and trees of Route 10 passing by like a rushing Ponyta. He sat next to Kukui, who was looking across another pair of seats to see through the other window. “Say Professor Kukui, can you tell me a bit more about the trainers you’ve chosen for the Elite Four?” he asked, and that caught Kukui’s attention. “Sure! I first asked Olivia, who is the kahuna of Akala Island and specializes in rock types. You won’t meet her today, though, as she’s busy with her kahuna duties at the moment. Kahili, meanwhile, was a former island champion and trains flying Pokémon. She’s also a professional golfer, so she’s been all over the world, yeah! Then there’s Molayne, who heads the Hokulani Observatory and a very good friend of mine. He favors steel types.” “They sound like amazing trainers.” Grimsley glanced around for a second and then said, “Nanu mentioned you asking him to join the Elite Four but he refused. I take it you’re still trying to find your fourth member?” Kukui nodded and he leaned back against his seat. “Nanu told me if he finds someone that he would let me know.” He paused when a chuckle left him. “He’s not wrong that being an Elite Four has its responsibilities.” Grimsley hummed in agreement, and he went back looking through the window. The scenery in front of him changed from the lush grass and trees to more barren land similar to Route 12. There was a steep drop below, and he realized that they were now driving up to the summit. He caught sight of a few Pokémon that looked like stars floating around. They were in different colors: purple, pink, and orange. “Do you know what those Pokémon are?” Grimsley asked, pointing at the Pokémon. When Kukui noticed them, he grinned. “Those are Minior! They often fall from the sky like shooting stars and hang out around Starfall Hills. Molayne does extensive research on those Pokémon, he can tell you more about them if you like.” “I think I would like that,” Grimsley said with a small smile. He continued gazing out of the window. When the bus reached the top of Mount Hokulani, it stopped in front of the observatory and everyone jumped off. Hokulani Observatory was a large facility with stainless glass and geometric architecture. A satellite dish settled on the left side of the roof and a round telescope was on the right. The other passengers had already went inside. Grimsley stayed where he was while Kukui talked with a man in a polo shirt. A cold breeze drifted by and made him shudder. He rubbed his arms slightly. Small patches of snow were scattered on the ground. “One of Molayne’s colleagues says he and Kahili will be with us in a moment,” Kukui said when he returned to him. “I don’t mind waiting.” Grimsley turned around to see another mountain covered in snow a far distance from him. “Is that Mount Lanakila?” “It is, yeah!” Kukui said, grinning. “The Pokémon League will be at the top of the summit. Before trainers would go to that mountain for their final trial and have to beat the four kahunas in a row. Now instead trainers will go against the Elite Four that best represents Alola, woo!” Grimsley hummed out of interest and gave a single nod. “Say, Professor Kukui, you mentioned the reason for creating the Pokémon League is to show the world how great the trainers from Alola are. Was there any incident that inspired you to go ahead with that ambitious undertaking?” A nostalgic expression stretched across Kukui’s face. “A while back I traveled through Kanto and challenged the Indigo League. Came out a little short, but the experience left a lasting impact to this day.” “That’s very impressive. Was it tough getting all this set up?” he asked, and Kukui responded with a laugh. “Of course, cousin! It took me years to prepare the league plans and have the Pokémon League Association approve them.” The grin on Kukui’s face disappeared and he sighed. “Had to convince the big wigs to let me keep the island challenge format.” Grimsley knew what Kukui was talking about. In order for the region to form a league there had to be a gym bracket system or something similar in place, and enough trainers to be interested in participating. Most regions settled for the eight gym badges system, but there were some like the Orange Islands where you would only need four. Grimsley imagined how much of a headache it must be for him to handle all this. He offered him an empathetic smile. “At least you’re close to having it up and running now.” Kukui beamed and raised his fist in the air. “Indeed and I’m pumped for it, woo!” His smile widening, Grimsley admired the man’s enthusiasm there. He and Kukui gazed at Mount Lanakila for another minute or so until someone’s voice brought their attention. “Sorry for the wait! Was in a research meeting.” Grimsley looked over his shoulder to see a tall man with glasses approaching them. He had dirty blonde hair that was fluffy but well kept, and a soft looking face. His clothes were wrinkled and slightly oversized for him. When he greeted them with a warm smile, Grimsley’s heart almost skipped a beat. He was very, very handsome. And he couldn’t tear his gaze off from him. “Not a trouble at all, cousin!” Kukui’s voice pulled Grimsley away from his dazed gaze. He greeted Molayne with a tight embrace and a pat on his shoulder. After they let go, the professor pointed at Grimsley for him. “Molayne, this is Grimsley from the Unova League. He agreed to give us a few pointers on what it’s like to be in the Elite Four!” “A pleasure to meet you.” Grimsley and Molayne shook hands. “Professor Kukui told me that you’re the head of the Hokulani Observatory and that you train steel types.” “Indeed on both accounts. I’m very passionate about everything there is to know about space and beyond. As for me training steel types, Kukui and I did the island challenge together and then I became a trial captain not long after.” “Molayne doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s an awesome trainer! One time we went against a totem Sandslash, and he used his Dugtrio and Metang to trap him like a Rock Tomb!” Kukui jabbed Molayne’s shoulder with his elbow, which made him chuckle and rub the back of his head. “What I did back then isn’t anything special. I just needed to find a way for him to lose momentum! Anyways, Kahili is inside with Sophocles, let’s go.” Molayne gestured his hand for everyone to follow him inside, which they did. Upon entering the observatory's main lobby, Grimsley glanced around with keen interest. The ceiling had stars and planets painted all over while the floors pulsed in blue light. Several television screens were attached on the walls, each one showcasing space and science trivia. The couple from the bus earlier were talking to the man in the receptionist desk, and next to it there was a large stand with brochures about the observatory. Near the end of the corner there was a woman and a young boy with several bug-like Pokémon that shaped like batteries. “Wow, so you take care all of these Charjabug? the woman asked, dropping to her knees to have a closer look at them. “Ah huh! Big Mo says they can eat several pounds of food a day. They need that much to store large amounts of electricity!” “They look to be very strong, but my flying Pokémon can handle them.” A smug look crossed her face, and the boy laughed. “Hey! Once these Charjabug evolve into Vikavolt you’ll be sorry!” When the boy noticed Molayne and Kukui, he beamed. “Big Mo! And Alola, Professor Kukui!” “Alola to you too, Sophocles!” Kukui said, grinning. Molayne waved and said, “I hope I’m not disrupting anything.” “Nah, I was just talking to Kahili about how great our Charjabug are!” “I didn’t realize how important the Charjabug here are,” she said. “Yes, they helped out a lot with our research and Soffy’s trial.” Molayne faced Grimsley and said, “Oh Grimsley, this is Kahili, and my cousin, Sophocles.” “Nice to meet the both of you,” Grimsley said, a small smile tugging on his lips. “Kukui told us that you’re from Unova,” Kahili said, hands on her sides. “I’ve been there several times for my golf tournaments. The country club in Castelia City is very nice.” “Indeed it is. My family and I were invited there numerous occasions. I never cared all that much about that sport, but my late father enjoyed it.” A sad smile crossed Kahili’s face. “Sorry to hear that about your father, but glad to hear someone else appreciates it.” Grimsley grunted in gratitude and turned to Sophocles. “And you’re one of the trial captains here, correct?” “Ah huh! I give out the Electrium-Z to trainers who pass my trial! Originally I had trainers answer a series of audio questions, but that caused the observatory to black out a few times, eh heh,” Sophocles said with a sheepish laugh. Molayne nodded. “His new trial now has trainers solve a puzzle where they rotate the Charjabug until they form a line. Once that’s done, the totem Pokémon appears.” “Well I’m sure your new trial will work great!” Kukui said. A Charjabug tugged at his lab coat and he looked down. “Hi there, little fella. Is there something you needed?” Another Charjabug started chewing on Grimsley’s scarf, which caused him to yelp and pull it away from the Pokémon. “What is it with Pokémon wanting to eat my scarves?” “Looks like it’s time to feed them!” Sophocles chuckled as a third Charjabug chewed on his pants. “Hey, get off my golf club!” Kahili screamed as she tried to wiggle the fourth Charjabug off her golf club. “You’re not joking when you said they eat a lot.” “Why don’t we go outside and feed them while Grimsley talks to us more about the Pokémon League?” Molayne asked. “Sounds good to me,” Grimsley said while straightening his scarf. Molayne, Kukui, and Sophocles gathered all the Charjabug and then they headed out. Xxx Grimsley and the others stopped at a large hill just below the observatory, Starfall Hills. There was a big open space for the Charjabug to roam around and eat the grass. He sat down with one of the Charjabug on his lap, feeding her the pokepuffs Molayne had handed him. “So Grimsley, I already told you how I went through the Indigo League before. How did you get your start in Unova’s Pokémon League?” Kukui asked. He, Sophocles, and Molayne were also giving food to the other Charjabug. “It happened not long after I finished my journey through Unova. Back then my mother and I were in a dire financial situation, so I took up gambling to make ends meet. As luck would have it, Alder, our region’s former Champion, thought I had potential as an Elite Four and invited me to be one of its members.” Grimsley gave a sad smile. He gazed down at the Charjabug, who wiggled and made clicking noises. “I wasn’t sure if I could handle it at first, but I took the risk and glad I did.” “What sort of responsibilities does an Elite Four have?” Kahili asked. “Well there’s accepting challengers that went through the Unova League Conference. On occasion we also have a hand in important league decisions, like appointing or demoting gym leaders, and organizing a variety of competitions. We can even adjust rules for different types of battles like triple and rotation battles.” “Fair enough.” Kahili approached Grimsley’s Charjabug and scratched her chin. The Charjabug bobbed her head, as if enjoying it. “I take it the Elite Four does a lot of training just so their battling skills doesn’t go stale? For me it’s important to train both as a golfer and a trainer, even just a little bit.” “Of course. There are various training facilities in Unova for us to use, including the ones in the League’s headquarters.” “Since Unova’s Elite Four are involved with who gets to be a gym leader, do they act as a mentor to them, too?” Molayne asked after he finished feeding his Charjabug and picked her up. “I guess you can say that. Sometimes we would visit a gym and offer advice to the gym leaders on how they can improve.” “Gyms? They’re like kahunas in which they specialize in a type, right, Big Mo?” Sophocles asked. The Charjabug he had fed continued to chew on his shoe. Molayne nodded. “Kukui mentioned those when he told me of his travels in Kanto. You battle them, and if you win you get what’s called a badge.” “I never battled in a gym, but I’ve heard of gym leaders while going to golf tournaments,” Kahili said. “I’ve even met a few of them.” “Believe me when I say the gym leaders in Kanto are tough as an Iron Tail!” Kukui said with a chuckle. Kahili groaned and rolled her eyes. “Sounds awesome! I’ll have to look into them more later.” “You definitely should!” Kukui paused, then said, “Because Alola will be using the island challenge instead of gyms, it’ll work out a bit differently. We already have the tapus choosing the kahunas and them choosing the trial captains. The Elite Four can make sure the trials themselves are safe, and provide the islands any resources they needed, yeah!” “Kukui and I have been talking back and forth on how to put this all together, and I think our trainers will like what they see.” A large grin stretched across Kukui’s face, and he faced Grimsley. “Here’s something that could be fun, Grimsley. Why don’t you do a couple quick battles with Molayne and Kahili? Assess how well they’re prepared as Elite Four!” While Grimsley thought over Kukui’s idea, the Charjabug squealed and jumped off his lap. He looked over his shoulder to see her playing with two other Charjabug. He faced back at Kukui and said, “I see no harm in doing that.” “Me neither,” Kahili said. “My Pokémon and I haven’t done any training yet!” “It’ll be fun to battle against an Elite Four just to see what it’s like to be one,” Molayne said. “Soffy, can you help me gather the Charjabug first?” “Sure, Big Mo!” Sophocles picked up the Charjabug next to him, then he and Molayne began getting the Charjabug together. It was a few moments until the Charjabug were lined up. Each one nodded and cheered, happy to be fed. Grimsley and Molayne stood in opposite sides while Kukui, Kahili, and Sophocles moved to where the Charjabug were and watched. “Kukui said that you’re into steel types, so I think I’ll start off with Queen!” Grimsley grabbed his pokéball and released Queen. The Bisharp crossed her arms and closed her eyes, as if meditating. Molayne straightened his glasses and let out an impressed smile. “A Bisharp, huh? In that case, I’ll show off mine, too. Mars, make your mark!” Molayne pulled his pokéball out from his jacket and let out his own Bisharp. Mars stomped on his right foot and thrust his arm forward. When Queen noticed him, she jerked her head back and stared at him. “Oh wow, two Bisharp? This will be fun,” Kahili said, raising a brow in interest. “Grimsley’s Bisharp looks great, but Mars can defeat her easily!” Sophocles said with a confident grin and his chin raised. Molayne chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. “Happy to hear you have that much confidence in me. All right then, I won’t disappoint you.” He looked back at Mars, his face now more serious. “Dual Chop, let’s go!” Mars’s arms glowed dark green and he rushed at Queen. He struck her twice and left deep cuts, one on her shoulder and another on her leg. Queen winced at the pain on her shoulder and glared at him. With a smile, Grimsley grunted. “Starting out strong, huh?” He snapped his fingers, which caused Queen to look at him. “We’ll strike back hard ourselves then!” Queen nodded, and her forehead lit up. She rammed onto Mars and their bodies collided. Mars fell on the ground, but he picked himself up quickly and stood up straight. “Nice job. Do Sucker Punch next!” “Double Team!” Just as Queen began charging towards him, Mars made several illusions of himself. She punched at one of them, but her fist went through him and he disappeared. She tried another, only for it to be a clone, too. Eventually the real Mars went behind her and did a low kick on her legs, which made her fall down. After getting up, Queen did an uppercut onto Mars’ face and had him stumbled backwards like someone who was dizzy. “Shake it off and then use Night Slash!” Molayne ordered, his voice stronger than Grimsley had heard of him. Hearing Molayne’s voice led Mars to get back to his senses. His arms glowed black and he ran towards Queen. Grimsley yelled for her to stay alert, which she did by having her own arm light up in a lighter green aura and blocked her opponent’s assault. The two Bisharp exchanged blows like fencers, sparks flying whenever their blades touched. Everyone on the sidelines was mesmerized by that sight. “Go Mars, go!” Sophocles cheered, his arms in the air. Next to him several of the Charjabug jumped and squealed in joy. While Mars and Queen continued attacking one another, Grimsley knew their little dance wouldn’t last forever. He snapped his fingers and said, “That’s enough, Queen! Switch gears now!” After their blades crossed one last time, Queen kicked Mars to force him to move backwards. Her arms still glowing, she charged straight at her opponent. “Distract her and then make your move!” Molayne called out. Just as Queen was speeding off, Mars took a deep breath and let out an ear piercing scream. That made his opponent stop and cover her ears. Grimsley and everyone on the sidelines grimaced over the noise. He noticed Mars’ arms glowed dark green, and knew the other Bisharp was going for another Dual Chop. Grimsley already figured what to do next. “Stop him to a screeching halt!” Before Mars could get close to her, a wave of electricity formed around Queen’s arm and she swung her arm at his direction. The blast went straight at Mars and caused him to drop on one knee and winced. “By using Thunder Wave, this gives Queen an advantage over Mars now,” Kukui said as his finger tapped at his chin. “Oh no, that’s not good!” Sophocles said, frowning. A confident grin stretched across Grimsley’s face. “We have the upper hand now, Queen. X-Scissor!” Queen gave her trainer a nod, crossed her arms, and her blades lit up light green. Molayne furrowed his brow. “Night Slash!” Mars picked himself up and raised his arm, but he twitched and struggled to move further. Queen meanwhile easily slashed his back and left a deep cut there. “Night Slash once more!” Molayne yelled urgently. “Stop him for good!” Grimsley countered. Mars was still grimacing from his paralysis, but his arms glowed black and he bolted off. He thrust his blade at Queen’s face, but she dodged, twirled around, and punched his stomach. Her opponent screeched and collapsed on the ground. Queen stared down at him and she stood there heaving. Several seconds after, Mars regained consciousness and raised his hand at her. She smiled and helped him up, supporting him by having his right arm slung around her shoulders. On the sidelines, everyone clapped and all the Charjabug cheered. “The both of you were on fire there, woo!” Kukui said with a whistle. Next to him, Kahili nodded. “You did great Big Mo, even if you didn’t win!” Sophocles said. Molayne offered him an appreciative smile. “Thanks. Grimsley is the far better trainer there.” “Now don’t sell yourself short,” Grimsley said. “Tricking Queen with the Double Team and distracting her with Metal Sound are clever ideas. Mars likes to be reckless, which has its ups and downs.” “Yeah, I recall that’s a common trait for Pawniard and Bisharp due to their aggressive nature.” Molayne approached Mars and patted him on the shoulder. “I remember the first time I trained him he was very stubborn.” “Queen was the same way. My parents were shocked when I showed her to them and asked if I can have her!” Grimsley gazed up at Queen and had his palm rested on her chest. “Your battle with Molayne is impressive, but it’s my turn now,” Kahili said as she stepped forward to Molayne’s spot. "Of course." Molayne returned Mars and stepped away to join with Kukui and Sophocles on the sidelines. "You were splendid there Queen, I'll let you get some rest." Grimsley also returned his Pokémon into her pokéball and pulled out another. This time he released Dice, who lifted his head up and pulled up his shed skin. “First time I’ve seen a Scrafty in a while. Now it’s Katsuo’s time to shine!” Kahili tossed her pokéball and burst of light popped out. A Toucannon flapped his wings and squawked. Grimsley immediately thought of Roland’s Toucannon he had saved from Team Skull some days ago. He grinned at her. “I’ve met a trainer with that Pokémon when I first landed this region. It’ll be interesting how strong yours is. All right Dice, let’s hit hard with Ice Punch!” “Brick Break!” Dice charged at Katsuo, his fist forming a blue aura. He punch him on the face, which led Katsuo to screech in pain. Some shards of ice appeared where the Toucannon was hit, but he shook those off. He retaliated by having his beak glow white and executed a swift chop on his opponent’s forehead. That made Dice crash on the ground. “Hurry before that Scrafty gets up!” After chirping in response, Katsuo took off into the air and began spinning like a drill. Dice barely got up when Katsuo’s beak stabbed his chest, leaving a small wound there. As soon as Katsuo backed away, Dice picked himself up and let out deep breaths. “Wow, Kahili’s already having a great start!” Sophocles said in awe. Next to him Kukui folded his arms and grinned, just as interested. Molayne hummed in agreement. “There’s a reason why she’s a former island champion.” The corner of Grimsley’s mouth twitched, but he knew this was only the start of the battle. “Go all out with a hard kick!” “Warm up your beak while he’s in the air!” Dice pulled up his shredded skin and jumped up high in the air. While waiting, Katsuo flapped his wings wildly and his beak glowed orange. Right after, Dice dived down and kicked Katsuo’s face and made him stumble. Dice lifted his chin and a proud grin was on his face, only for him to wince when small flames burst on his leg. At that instant, Katsuo rammed onto Dice and he fell. Grimsley’s eyes grew wide with confusion. “What was that?” “Beak Blast burns the opponent making contact with Katsuo,” Kahili said in a smug voice, one hand on her side. “Liked what you see?” Grimsley glared at her and gritted his teeth. “Not a bad choice at all, to say the least.” “I’ll take that as a compliment. Drill Peck one more time!” Kahili whistled and Katsuo flew up in the air once more. “Move and then strike with Dragon Claw!” Katsuo spun himself like last time, but before he landed Dice rolled out of the way. Katsuo’s beak got stuck on the ground, and he struggled to pull out. Green flames that turned into claws formed around Dice’s fist, and he slashed him. Katsuo squawked and backed away, a large cut visible on his chest. As both Pokémon stared at one another, flames licked Dice’s leg again and he dropped on one knee. “Looks like your foe’s getting tired already, Katsuo.” She lifted her arm up, showing off her Z-bracelet on her wrist. A silver crystal was attached to the slot. “The winds are in our favor now, so let’s finish this. Supersonic Skystrike!” Grimsley grimaced when he heard that. Kahili started her dance, her movements fluid and graceful as a Swanna taking the skies. Her pose ended with her stretching her arms like wings, and then both her bracelet and Katsuo lit up with a golden aura. Katsuo launched himself in the air like a rocket, farther than the last few times he took flight. A blast of hot air hit Grimsley and everyone else, causing their clothes to flap. “Counter it now!” Grimsley said in desperation. Dice still winced from his burns, but he pulled his shedded skin up and jumped up high with his right leg stretched out. Katsuo began diving at an incredible speed, and the two crashed onto each other. An explosion occurred, the smoke obscuring them a brief moment. When the battlefield was cleared, Dice fainted on the ground while Katsuo was still in the air. “Dice!” Grimsley rushed to his Pokémon and put his head on his lap. “Are you all right?” With a weak groan, Dice gazed up at Grimsley and gave him a thumbs up. Grimsley sighed in relief. “Thank goodness. You did great out there.” He returned Dice, picked himself up, and stared at the sky with a hard frown. Right now he was nothing more than the one who lost his light... But this loss would make him shine even brighter next time. He gazed down at Dice’s pokéball that he was still holding, and he smiled a little. “When one loses, they lose everything. The next thing I’ll look for will be victory, too!” He approached Kahili and stretched out his hand to her. “That was a good match.” “Same here.” Kahili accepted the handshake. “Your Scrafty is very energetic there.” “I can say the same with your Toucannon. So Supersonic Skystrike, I take it that’s the flying type z-move?” “It is. I got the flyinium-z after going against a totem Pokémon in Poni Island.” Kahili turned to her Toucannon and scratched his chin. Katsuo relaxed by her touch. “That other Toucannon was much bigger than him, but Katsuo pulled through.” “That’s a lovely little tale there.” Grimsley paused, his face more serious now. “You mastering that z-move alone shows you’re more than capable of being the Elite Four also.” “What did I tell you?” I picked the best of the best, yeah!” Kukui said, beaming. Grimsley smiled in response. He shifted his gaze to see Sophocles frowning and his head down. Molayne noticed it, too. “Is something the matter, Soffy?” his cousin asked, dropping on one knee and touching his shoulder. “I know that you’ll be helping Professor Kukui with the League, but what if you have to be away longer than expected?” A few tears streamed down Sophocles’ cheeks and he sniffled. Two of the Charjabug began rubbing onto his legs to comfort him. “When Grimsley talked about being in the Elite Four, it sounds like it’s much more work than I thought.” Grimsley’s heart sank. He could tell Sophocles cared for his cousin very much and the thought of them separating devastated the boy. “It’s true that Molayne will be busy with the League, but he’ll still help out with the observatory!” Kukui said, a reassuring grin on his face. “When it’s time for him to go, give him one last smile, yeah!” “He’s right,” Molayne said with a similar expression. “Researching space is still my passion that I won’t give up anytime soon. I won’t leave forever.” Sophocles regarded the men’s words a moment, and he put on a determined expression on his face. “I’ll watch over the observatory while you’re gone. I can handle this, I’m a tough kid!” “Now that’s what I like to hear!” Molayne chuckled, and he and Sophocles embraced. A soft smile crossed Kahili’s face. “You were excited when you talked to me about the observatory. I’m sure you’ll do great. While Grimsley was also touched by Molyane and Sophocles’ affection there, he felt bad for causing this in the first place. He approached Sophocles and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry if me talking about the Elite Four upsets you.” Sophocles looked up with a confused brow, and then he beamed. “Nah, don’t worry about it. I may be upset, but I’m really happy for Big Mo doing this!” “Well I’m glad to hear that.” Grimsley offered him a warm smile. “It’s a little past 1pm now,” Molayne said. “Why don’t we head to the Pokémon Center and eat while our Pokémon get healed?” “Sounds like a plan!” Kukui said. Grimsley and Kahili also responded that they were fine with that. “Great! Sophocles and I need to take the Charjabug inside the observatory first, so we’ll meet you guys right after.” Molayne turned to face the Pokémon. “You all ready to go?” All the Charjabug responded by making clicking noises and bouncing. Both Molyane and Sophocles chuckled. Everyone headed back to the observatory, taking the uphill trail there. While walking, Grimsley thought back to his battle with Kahili and the z-moves Acerola and Kukui had demonstrated. That proved to him that Alolan trainers were a force to be reckoned with. That made him wonder how Nanu’s z-move would look like in battle. “Professor Kukui, you think Nanu will use his z-move if we ever go against each other?” he asked him, and Kukui looked over his shoulder with a raised brow. “Hm? Why you asked?” “Seeing you, Acerola, and Kahili’s z-moves made me want to battle him even more.” Kukui laughed. “Feeling inspired, yeah? To answer your question, yes I believe so. He’s even more experienced with z-moves than us!” “Then I’ll just work harder to convince him, then.” Grimsley made a sharp frown. The odds of that happening were less than him winning a cards game, but that wouldn’t stop him from attempting that. Xxx Mount Hokulani’s Pokémon Center had some people inside already. Molayne had given Mars’ pokéball to Kukui so that he could take it to Nurse Joy while he and Sophocles took the Charjabug back in the observatory. When the professor mentioned that the pokéball was his friend’s, she grinned and happily accepted it. Grimsley and Kahili also lent their Pokémon to her and she said they would be ready very soon. The three waited until Molayne and Sophocles arrived before beginning lunch. Everyone gathered around a small table in the food court area eating sandwiches. During their meal Grimsley got to know Kahili and Molayne better. Kahili’s father owned one of the hotel resorts in Akala Island and she often went there to train. Her passion for golf got started when she met with one of the golfers visiting the resort and she begged for her to be her mentor. Molayne not only was the head of the observatory but also the administrator of Alola’s Pokémon Storage System, which impressed Grimsley very much. “Since you’re maintaining this region’s Pokémon Storage System, I take it you know Amanita from Unova, Professor Fennel’s sister?” Grimsley asked before taking a bite of his food. “Yes, I have. I visited there several times for conferences and sometimes we would meet up. We still keep in touch on occasion.” “I talked to her once or twice before, and I was surprised she was only a few years older than me!” Sophocles said while chewing his food. After swallowing, he drank his soda. “She knows a lot about computers, more than me!” “I remember when Molayne first began this project he would call me and panic whenever the storage wasn’t working,” Kukui said in between bites. “Very happy it’s a huge success in the end, yeah!” Grimsley took a sip of his drink, then asked, “Since you’ll be in the Elite Four soon, will it be tough balancing your league duties along with the other stuff you’re doing?” “It’s true I’m having my plate full, but I’m certain that I can manage. The Pokémon storage itself I only needed to keep up maintenance once in a while.” “I too will be balancing between the Pokémon League and golf, but I’m used to training a lot so it works out.” Kahili stole a glance at Kukui. “Besides, Kukui wouldn’t stop asking me unless I said yes.” Kukui let out a large laugh. “I thought having you on board would be great! But yeah, I’m glad that both you and Molayne agreed to do this!” After eating another piece of his sandwich, Grimsley wiped his mouth and smiled. “The league is shaping up to be marvelous right now. I wish all of you the best of luck.” Both Molayne and Kahili gave him appreciative smiles. “Thank you, we’ll do our very best!” Molayne said. The next minute or so everyone was finishing up eating their meals. Grimsley looked up at the television screen on the wall, which was broadcasting the news. It showed a man reporting the weather, the next five days sunny, then he let one of the other reporters take over. “Earlier today Aether Foundation President Lusamine Jubert held a press conference over at the organization’s headquarters in Aether Paradise. She was joined by Vice Chief Wicke Santana and Aether Branch Chief Faba Leroy.” The screen cuts to the press conference. One blonde lady in fashionable clothing was behind the podium. Besides her was another woman with glasses who also dressed nicely and a green haired man wearing goggles and in a lab coat. Grimsley couldn’t stop staring at the light haired woman. “As you know, on occasion there have been sightings of Ultra Wormholes, a wormhole that connects to different worlds, in the skies,” the Aether president said as several people flashed their cameras at her. “Legends say that fearsome Pokémon, the Ultra Beasts, would come out from those wormholes. And today, I have proof of that legend to be true.” “President Lusamine then proceeds to show security footage from the conservatory. A wormhole appears with an unknown species of Pokémon coming out from there. That led one of the trainers visiting there to battle it,” the reporter said as video footage of that event was seen. There was a trainer and her Pokémon, a sea lion creature in frills, going against another Pokémon that resembled a light blue jellyfish and a golden aura surrounding it. Both Pokémon exchanged a series of poison and water attacks that collided with one another in brilliant sparks and explosions. While watching that footage, Grimsley raised an eyebrow at the mysterious Pokémon’s appearance and thought he had recognized that trainer before. Kukui stood up and slammed his palms on the table. “That’s Selene!” Kukui yelled, pointing at the screen. “Isn’t that the trainer you told me that met with Tapu Koko?” Molayne asked. “Yeah! I let her and Hau go on a tour to Aether Paradise. I didn’t think they would encounter an Ultra Beast there.” When Kukui finished, the screen changed back to Lusamine and her co-chiefs. “With the appearance of that Ultra Beast, I’m certain there are more of those out there from other dimensions. My organization and I will do in our every power to protect the citizens of Alola from these threats!” Lusamine said with brimming eyes and her arms stretched out, then the screen went back to the reporter. “The Aether Foundation have advised that if you do see an Ultra Beast or Ultra Wormhole that you stay a safe distance from them as much as possible. Back to you, Kerry,” the reporter finished. “Ultra Beasts? Does that mean Alola is in danger?” one of the trainers inside asked. “I really like Aether, but can they really protect us?” another trainer asked. Everyone that watched the news began talking in tense voices. Grimsley knitted his brow and stroked his chin. "Everyone's getting worried after that news," Kahili said. "Understandable since we're dealing with beings from other dimensions," Molayne said. A small smile pulled on his lips. "I'm sure though the Aether Foundation will make sure we're safe." "I hope you're right, Big Mo." Sophocles hung his head down and frowned. Kukui leaned towards Grimsley and told him in a low voice, “I promised that I would give you my wife’s research on Ultra Wormholes. I brought these with me before we left.” He pushed forward a small booklet towards him, and Grimsley quickly flipped through the pages. There were several graphs and pictures that he didn’t look too closely at, but he had no doubt this was well researched. “All right, I’ll read them fairly soon,” Grimsley said with a firm nod and put the booklet away. The more the Ultra Beasts were brought up, the more he couldn’t stop thinking about them. There was a short silence from everyone. Molayne was checking through his tablet and he gasped. “Oh I almost forgot! Tonight is the Minior shower!” “Minior shower?” Grimsley asked, staring at him in confusion. Sophocles beamed and said, “Every so often the Minior fall like meteor showers! They mostly drop in Starfall Hills where we can see them up close!” “I remember seeing them the first time during my island trials,” Kahili said, a soft smile on her lips. “There were so many of them in different colors, I couldn’t stop looking at them.” “Like candies in the sky!” “I talked to you about Minior earlier today,” Kukui said. “Why don’t you stick around here a while longer and watch with us?” “While we wait, I can give you the tour of the observatory,” Molayne said. “We have some of the most cutting edge technology here.” “That does sound lovely, and a great way to take our minds off from that news broadcast. All right, I’ll stay.” This would be a great way to relax, and Grimsley was here for a vacation. Downtime it is. Xxx When it was sunset, everyone returned back to Starfall Hills. The skies quickly turned dark and stars began to pop up. The air grew colder than earlier in the afternoon, everyone’s breath becoming visible. Kahili and Molayne let out Katsuo and Mars respectively, and so Grimsley released Dice and Queen. Queen and Mars did a series of friendly spars while Katsuo soared in the air. Dice played with Sophocles’ Togedemaru, Gigi, the two often rolling on the grass to see who would get to the bottom first. Grimsley lay down with his arms behind his head, the grass tickling his cheeks and hands. “I really enjoyed the tour of the observatory, Molayne,” Grimsley told him. “Sophocles’s trial was neat, and that telescope was fascinating to look through.” “Your totem Togedemaru is cute, but boy does she packed quite a lot of electricity,” Kahili said as she rubbed her hand. “I can still feel that shock from her.” “Same here. Not to mention her fur is hard as steel,” Grimsley said while picking himself back up. Earlier today Molayne had taken everyone to where Sophocles’s trial was held. Inside two scientists put some of the Charjabug into a machine and demonstrated how it worked; each time the Pokémon would line up like a bingo card. He and Kahili tried it out a few times each, the puzzles not too hard for them. Grimsley also got to see Rosie, who was much larger than Gigi. He started petting her, but flinched when her fur shocked his hand. Kahili also got to pet it, and she too got startled when her hand got shocked. “Sorry about that,” Sophocles said with an embarrassed laugh. “Again, Rosie gets too excited when she gets petted.” “If you think that’s bad, I had my Magnezone use its electric attacks on me a bunch of times, woo!” Kukui said, and Grimsley’s eyes flew wide. “What can I say, you’re very passionate towards your work,” Molayne said and chuckled. He gazed up at the sky and gasped. “Oh, the Minior are coming!” Everyone including the Pokémon gazed up at the sky with similar expressions. Several large rocks that appeared to be the Minior dropped and littered the hill. Dice and Gigi approached one of them and poked its shell. “The Minior gets turned to rock due to accumulating a lot of dust while coming here,” Molayne said to Grimsley. “Their shells then gets cracked, exposing their core.” Grimsley stared at him in confusion, but then he saw that the Minior’s shell started cracking. Dice and Gigi got startled and backed away from the one they were touching. Soon all of the Minor’s shells broke and they popped up like confetti. Their bodies looked like little stars and in different colors. “Hi there little guy, this is your first time coming here?” Sophocles asked when a purple one floated by him. The Minior nodded and rubbed against him, causing Sophocles to laugh. The other Minior approached everyone else. Molayne, Kukui, and Kahili chuckled when one sat on Mars’s head and he tried to figure out where it was. A few of them chased Katsuo while he was flying and screeching. A blue Minior floated by in between Dice and Gigi, the two beaming and jumping with it. An orange one approached Grimsley and he smiled at it. “I can see why this is called Starfall Hills,” he said, just as Queen walked up beside him. The Minior squealed and rubbed both Girmsley’s and Queen’s cheeks before joining with the other Minior. He looked over his shoulder to see Queen smiling a little. Everyone watched the Minior playing with the Pokémon and each other a while longer. Eventually, they floated up towards the sky once more. “After their core is exposed,” Molayne said, “their bodies become fragile. They eventually perish unless you use a pokéball.” “Really?” Grimsley asked, blinking. When both Molayne and Kukui nodded, he frowned. “How unfortunate.” He looked up to see several Minior already turning into dust. As more and more Minior disappeared, Dice swung his head all around and he frowned. Queen went to him and patted his shoulder for support. Gigi reacted similarly by chirping and running around in circles. Sophocles picked her up and cradled her against his chest. “Looks like both Dice and Gigi are sad that they’re going away,” Kahili said with a small frown. A sad smile appeared on Sophocles’ face. “On my first Minior shower I cried when they disappeared and I couldn’t do anything about it. Big Mo then told me they’re happy with the few moments they have here and I shouldn’t be sad.” After Sophocles finished, his cousin rested his palms on his shoulders. “I couldn’t agree more,” Kukui said. “We should cherish every moment we have with our Pokémon.” Grimsley couldn’t help but steal a glance at Queen. He loved all his Pokémon dearly, but her loss would be the most devastating due to her being his first one and how much they went through together. As if reading his mind, Queen gripped on his shoulder and gave him a firm nod. He was taken aback by her response, but he grinned and touched her shoulder back. When Dice cried and awkwardly sandwiched between them, Grimsley chuckled and patted his forehead. “Even though this ends on a bittersweet note, I’m glad to have witnessed this,” he said and looked back up to see more Minior perishing, glittering the sky like fireworks. He also liked to think those meteor Pokémon enjoyed their stay here while it lasted. This was the most beautiful sight he had seen in a long while.
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girl-like-substance
the seal will bite you if you give him half a chance
Posts: 527
Pronouns: xe/xem
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Post by girl-like-substance on Mar 25, 2019 23:24:12 GMT
This was a good one! We're mostly back with Grimsley here, which means less intrigue and work than lounging and learning, but that's fine; the contrast between the two is part of Foul Play's charm, imo, since it kinda makes you appreciate Grimsley's holiday and Nanu's shady past all the more by how starkly they throw each other into relief. And at this point, it seems like Grimsley's getting into the swing of this whole relaxation thing; he definitely seems to be smiling a lot more! Or at least, I'm pretty sure he wasn't this smiley in the fic's early chapters. Maybe I'm misremembering.
I do love the idea of suave Grimsley trying to keep looking cool while riding on a giant shiny metal bird that's probably absolutely ruining his careful hairstyle with the wind of its flight! I had to wonder what the in-universe reason was for him and Kukui not being able to fly directly up to Mt Hokulani, though. I like the conversation they have on the bus, and how Grimsley's just relaxing deeper and deeper into his holiday as he watches the scenery go by, so I wouldn't cut that; you'd just need a note about why they couldn't keep on flying up the mountain. A hazard because of falling minior/meteors? Limits on legal flight zones? Someone else needed the charizard and the skarmory? It wouldn't have to be anything major, just a quick note about why they took the longer route.
I really liked the two battles – not just for the cool visuals (the two bisharp clashing blades and striking sparks was a great image), but for what it says about Grimsley. He's really good at what he does: that's why he's able to assess the opposing bisharp, figure out his deal, and win. But as an Unova Elite Four member, he's probably really used to seeing certain pokémon and knows them very well, so he makes a few missteps when confronted with something he's never seen before. Like he starts off strong, with an Ice Punch to assess the toucannon's weaknesses, but he makes a key mistake in assuming he can hit it while it's charging a Beak Blast – which like, that's not something you can know until you see it in action, really. But he's definitely getting his groove back a bit; he delivers some of his old defeat lines there, and he really seems to be invested in these matches in a way he clearly wasn't at the start of the story.
That was … a really lovely end to the chapter too. ;-; Falling stars that fade away when they reach the lower atmosphere as their skin collapses. Like, the pokédex entries are very clear that this is what happens, but it's something else to see it done in a story, with all these people chilling out together in this one beautiful, bittersweet moment. It's good for Grimsley, too, to like re-centre himself with his pokémon. His pokémon have become more and more of a part of his holiday as the fic goes on, iirc, and now he's sorta reconnecting with them as his friends and partners as well as work colleagues.
Also, this didn't really fit in anywhere else, but I really like your take on Molayne and Sophocles' relationship! For whatever reason, the age gap between the two of them didn't really click in my head when I played through Moon and Ultra Sun, so it's cool to see you develop that here.
Finally, here are some other little bits and pieces I picked up on as I read through:
Two uses of 'once more' in the same sentence is a bit jarring.
Missing 'were' here.
That should be 'will', rather than 'would'.
There should be a comma after 'Say' here.
Given that the rest of this paragraph is in the past tense, I think this should be 'had', rather than 'has'.
That looks like a typo for 'empathetic' here.
Missing 'to' here.
There should be an 'about' after 'passionate' here.
That should just be 'rub' there.
That should be 'feed'.
'From' shouldn't be here.
That should be 'could', rather than 'can'.
Missing 'in' here.
You've got an extra quotation mark there.
That should be 'was' – even if 'everyone' refers to several people, it's treated as if it were singular, because it literally means 'every one [of the thing in question]', which is a singular construction.
'Light' should be 'lit', and 'in' should be 'with' here.
'Can' should be 'could' here, and 'with' should be 'of'.
That should be 'like', not 'liked'.
That looks like a typo for 'head' to me. Also, there's more than one pokémon being healed, so that should be 'get' rather than 'gets'.
'Take' should be 'took' here.
It only belongs to one of his friends, so the apostrophe should be the other side of the S there.
'Lend' should be 'lent' here.
'On board' should be two words here.
Since they're doing the appreciating, that should be 'appreciative', rather than 'appreciated'.
Missing 'at' here.
And also missing 'at' here, too.
That should be 'lay'.
Nothing wrong with this, it's just such a dramatic reaction that it's kind of funny, especially because I can totally imagine Kukui getting excited like this about seeing Selene on TV. :V
That's it! Nice work, as ever. I'll be looking forward to finding out where the story takes us next!
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Post by bay on Apr 24, 2019 4:22:19 GMT
Reply to eldestoyster's review and author notes under spoiler tag! eldestoyster: Intersting you should mention "Grimsley's holday and Nanu's shady past" as I plan to have a few more scenes showcasing that before they meet again. Grimsley is starting to smile a bit more, yeah!
To be honest, reason for that was I was researching Mt. Hokulani's real life equivalent and it mentions how bad the air pressure was at a certain point. I like the idea of falling minior and someone else needing those ride Pokemon, so I'll mention that. I do love the idea of Skarmory messing with Grimsley's hair, so I'll add that too lol.
Glad you enjoyed those battles! Yeah one of the things I want to showcase is how Grimsley deals with losing and winning while in Alola. There's gonna be a match in a later chapter where he wins, but he doesn't have the same reaction he does with Kahili.
Also happy to hear your reaction on the chapter's end! Gonna give credit to the Minior episode from the anime, and ahhhh so sad. =< And yeah, thought that scene would be a good oppurtunity for him and his Pokemon to connect!
Thanks for the grammar check as always. I already did the Chapter 7 and 8 grammar fixes in the doc version, but haven't carried over to this thread yet. I also need to add that paragraph to Kukui and Grimsley's beginning scene as mentioned. But yeah, the edits will get carried over soon!
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Hi, so got new chapter here! As you may noticed, I have this titled "Pursuit, Part One". Originally this was going to be one chapter and only Grimsley's POV. His first few and latter scenes don't seem to flow together, so I seperated them. And that's before I decided to add a couple Nanu scenes for good measure oops.
Camp Nano was going fairly good, wrote 11K so far. Then after that, kinda ran out of gas lol. Counting Chapter 10, I probably have 5 chapters of backlog, but they're very rough so updates might be on a monthly basis still.
Besides that, at Grimsley and Molayne's scene yes I came up with game knockoffs for Mario Kart, Smash Bros, and Mortal Kombat. Funny enough, Smash Bros did their Persona 5/Joker update some days ago, and MK 11 was just released. I watched a playthrough of MK 11's story mode recently, and oh man it's wild haha.
As always, thanks to bobandbill for the great betaing! Also thanks to illustrious-rocket for giving me permission to use Antimony as Colress's surname! Chapter Nine Pursuit (Part One)Behind the observatory there was a smaller building that was Molayne’s office and living space. Everyone slept there for the night including Grimsley, and this morning he woke up early to read Professor Burnet’s extensive research on Ultra Wormholes. Apparently the Ultra Wormholes were a very special occurrence and believed to lead to a different dimension. There were some studies from Sinnoh, Unova, and Hoenn that supported that theory. For instance, there was an incident that occurred a few years ago involving the legendary Pokémon Palkia, Dialga, and Giratina. Burnet also mentioned how in Alolan folklore there would be tales of fearsome Pokémon, the Ultra Beasts, coming from the Ultra Wormholes and fighting with the guardian deities. While reading, Grimsley sat on the couch with coffee and toast on the table. After another bite of his toast, he scratched the back of his neck and sighed. Someone tapped on his shoulder, so he turned around and flinched upon seeing Professor Kukui grinning at him. “What do you think of Magnolia's research so far?” he asked. “To be honest, I don’t understand almost half of the words she used in her writing.” Grimsley rubbed his eyes, and Kukui chuckled. “Well, she’s a scientist, yeah! You got an idea of what she’s trying to say, right?” “I think so. When Burnet says there are different dimensions, does she mean like the world Zossie and Dulse of the Ultra Recon Squad come from?” “Most likely, yeah. According to her, the Ultra Beasts come from worlds different to ours, hence why they’re considered different from Pokémon in our folklore.” Grimsley made a slight bob of his head. “How about the Ultra Recon Squad? Does she know them?” “The Dimensional Lab and Aether are collaborating together on researching Ultra Wormholes, so yes she’s already aware of them.” A wide grin stretched across Kukui’s face, and he had his hands on his sides. “The offer still stands, cousin.” Grimsley raised a brow. “Huh? What offer?” “Meeting my wife, of course! If you want, I can have her explain more of her research to you through videophone, yeah!” While considering Kukui’s offer, Grimsley gulped his coffee. The brow on his forehead knitted. Originally he had told him it wasn’t necessary, but now he was reconsidering. Besides her research, there were a few other questions he had for her. He set aside his cup on the table, and looked up at Kukui with a small smile. “Sure, why not? I’ve got nothing to lose.” “Awesome! I’m sure she’ll be thrilled talking to you!” “Are you two talking about Ultra Wormholes?” Kahili asked as she approached them. She held her own cup of coffee with one hand. “Grimsley will be talking with Professor Burnet later today so that he can learn more about them from her, woo!” Kahili sipped her coffee, a small smile tugging on her lips. “I swear, you get all lovey-dovey each time you mention her.” “What can I say, I’m still Captivated by her!” he said with a wink. That made Kahili groan, and even Grimsley rolled his eyes at that pun. “How about you, Kahili?” Grimsley asked her. “What are your thoughts on this?” “I’m not sure, to be honest.” Kahili put her cup down on the coffee table, crossed her arms, and raised her chin. “I’ve heard tales of strong Pokémon not from around here. And now a possibility of them being real and a threat? I hope I’m prepared for that.” Kukui grinned. “Are you kidding? You’re a former island champion, so you’re more than prepared! Grimsley blinked, also taken aback by her response. Kahili seemed like a confident person from the way she battled. Nonetheless, he hummed in agreement. “I was impressed with your battle skills yesterday. You should be fine.” Kahili gave them an appreciative smile. “You’re right! If it comes to that, my Pokémon are capable of handling them!” “That’s the spirit, woo!” Kukui said, pumping his fist in the air. Kahili chuckled. “I better get going now. Can’t skip out on my daily training exercises!” She waved them goodbye before departing. As soon as she was gone, Kukui faced back at Grimsley. “We can talk to my wife during her lunch break, which is a few hours from now.” “That’s fine. I don’t mind waiting.” Grimsley leaned against the couch, his arms over his head. He hoped talking with Professor Burnet would make more sense of the Ultra Wormholes. Xxx It was late morning when Nanu woke up and took a shower. He hadn't had one in a few days, and both Persian and the Meowth cringed at his presence, so he made himself do some basic hygiene practice. He stood still for several minutes, letting the hot water rain down on his face and skin. Steam started to build up around him. On the few occasions he forced himself to take a shower, it actually felt nice. He started thinking about what had happened yesterday. He was at his desk, playing with his kendama as a way to destress himself. A couple of his Meowth tried to catch the ball on the string, but he told them not to do that. He left the television on, which was broadcasting the afternoon news. When the news began reporting the Aether Foundation's press conference, he stopped and watched. The video of a young trainer with a Brionne facing against UB Symbiont was shown. His stomach sunk, shocked that a child would go against such a dangerous creature. The Ultra Beasts were supposed to be classified, so Interpol most likely had a field day with that. Charlotte was with Faba and Lusamine, though the newscaster had said her real first name and not her middle one. Lusamine announced that the Ultra Beasts were coming, and that her organization would protect Alola from them. After that, the reporters bombarded her with questions and the photographers kept flashing pictures. Back in the present, Nanu let out a deep sigh and his shoulders slumped. Looker and Anabel had already informed him of the Ultra Wormhole in Aether Paradise, but he was still stunned when it was on the news. He couldn't stop thinking about that press conference ever since. He turned the faucet off, dried himself with a towel, and stepped out of the shower. After Nanu put on some clothes, he walked to the front office. Two of the Meowth were playing with his Z-ring bracelet he had left on the desk. He shooed the cats away and put the bracelet on his wrist. He sat down, turning on his computer. He pulled up Aether Foundation's website. The main home page had several pictures of the employees with various Pokémon. On the right side was the news bulletin with the latest post being about the press conference. He clicked on the "Read More" link, and he was sent to a new page that had information on that. So far it repeated the same thing that was mentioned on the news. On the bottom was a video of the press conference, so he clicked on it and let it play. “With the appearance of that Ultra Beast, I’m certain there are more of those out there from other dimensions. My organization and I will do in our every power to protect the citizens of Alola from these threats!” Nanu watched the video on repeat several times. When he was tired of it, he leaned back on his chair and stared at the ceiling for a while. Protect the citizens of Alola from these threats. Nanu couldn't help but snort. Not even the International Police had done that right and look what had happened now. His gaze fell at the postcard from Charlotte. He sat back straight and picked it up. Nanu reread Charlotte's warning, and then stared at the computer screen. In the video Charlotte stood there calm and smiling, but her fidgeting fingers and shifty glances said otherwise. "Could this be what she's warning me about?" he muttered to himself and furrowed his brow. He stared down at the phone on his desk. "Maybe I should give her a call." He was about to pick the receiver up, but stop his hand midway through. There could be a chance Aether had their phones recorded, and he didn't want to blow her cover. With a frustrated sigh, he slammed his hand on the desk. He still wanted to at least let her know he got her message, but how? Anabel and Looker were on their way to Poni Island right now. Nanu recalled Dimensional Labs working with Aether. If there was someone from there that could contact Charlotte... Nanu's eyes grew wide with realization. There was one person there who probably talked often with her. He picked the phone up and dialed the number. It was a few rings until someone answered. "Professor Kukui speaking, yeah!" "Hi, Kukui. You sound excited as ever." "Nanu? Oh, did you have a suggestion on who should be on the Elite Four?" Nanu forced himself to not roll his eyes. "No, not yet. Actually, I wonder if you can do me a favor." "Sure, cousin! What kind of favor?" "Your wife talk with the Aether folks often, yes?" "Dimensional Labs and Aether Foundation often collaborate together on research, yeah! Why you asked?" "There's a message I want to give to someone there. The Assistant Branch Chief Char--" Nanu stopped there, realizing he almost slipped up. He cleared his throat. "Wicke Santana." "Is that all? Couldn't you just call or send her an email?" Nanu's throat turned dry. "It's complicated. Let's just say we go way back and it's a personal matter." "Oh. All right, I won't force you to tell me anymore than that. What did you want to tell her?" Before Nanu responded, he gazed back at Charlotte's message once more. A small smile formed on his lips. "Tell her Kahuna Nanu thanks her for the postcard she sent me, and I'll be more Earth friendly from now on. Also that Poni Island's weather is good right now." "Is that all?" Kukui said in confusion. He chuckled right after. "No problem then, yeah! I'm about to have Grimsley talk with Magnolia later today, so I can let her know then." That made Nanu immediately jump out of his seat. "Wait, Grimsley's with you?" "Yeah! We're at the Hokulani Observatory right now. He wanted to know more about other dimensions, so I suggested he talk with her." "He does now, huh?" Nanu said flatly as he sat back down. A part of him wondered if he had saw that news conference too. "Hopes he gets something out of it." "I'm sure he will, yeah! I better get back inside the observatory now. You take care, cousin!" "Thanks, Kukui. And same to you." Nanu hung up and gave out a deep sigh. He hoped that Burnet would give Charlotte that message as soon as possible. He shifted his head to see the two Meowth that had played with his bracelet earlier glaring at him. "What you guys want?" he asked, his lips twitching in annoyance. One of the Meowth lifted an empty bowl with her paws and she cried again. Nanu narrowed his eyes. "Okay I'll get the food. Give me a minute." Nanu got up and headed to the cabinet where he stored the Meowth's food in, the two Meowth following him behind. The several other Meowth he passed by were either sleeping, playing, or scratching furniture. When he had left Interpol, he didn't think he would end up the island kahuna living in the police station with a bunch of stray Meowth. And now, it seemed he wasn’t done with Interpol just yet. Xxx By early afternoon, Kukui asked Molayne if he and Grimsley could use his videophone to call his wife. Molayne chuckled and also joked how he missed talking to her already, which made Kukui laugh. After Molayne left them alone, Kukui dialed Burnet’s number and they waited a few rings until the screen lit up with her face. She had dark skin like her husband, and her white hair was held with a large headband. Instead of a lab coat or formal clothing, she dressed like as if she was about to go to the gym or for a run. Behind her, there was a bookshelf and a poster board with various charts, pictures, and announcements on there. “Hm? Molayne, is that you?” When she recognized Kukui’s face, she grinned. “Oh, hi honey! I thought Molyane’s calling because his number showed on my screen. So you’re in his office now?” “Yeah! I asked him if I can talk to you for a moment and he’s cool with it.” “Ah, all right.” Burnet now noticed Grimsley, and her face lit up. “And the man next to you, is that who I think he is?” “If you’re thinking Grimsley from the Unova Elite Four, then yeah! He’s interested in talking about Ultra Wormholes with you!” Kukui jabbed Grimsley on the shoulder with his elbow and stepped away. Grimsley gave him a blank stare, and then he sat down and faced the screen. “Alola, Professor Burnet,” Grimsley said, waving at her. Burnet’s grin grew even wider and she squealed. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it’s you! Back in Unova, I would watch you and the other Elite Four on TV. Those battles are fun to watch!” Grimsley raised a curious brow. “Oh? Which one is your favorite?” “Probably the one with you and Alder! Your guys’ Pokémon are such powerhouses!” A small smile tugged on Grimsley’s lips. That was one of the exhibition battles for a tournament he and Alder had participated in. Alder’s Pokémon were indeed strong, including his ace, Vix the Volcarona. He lost that match as expected, but he also learned a lot during that battle. “Glad that my colleagues and I were able to entertain you.” “And how!” Burnet giggled, and then asked, “So, what’s a hotshot trainer like you doing here in Alola?” “Well, I’m here for a little vacation. I met up with your husband, and he told me how you’re an expert in other dimensions. I recall that you used to be a researcher in Unova.” Burnet nodded and let out a low hum. “Before my main research was on dreams, but then I was offered work here in Alola and I couldn’t resist coming here.” “Right. Anyways, I read some of your research, and I have a few questions I want to ask.” “Sure, I can spare a few minutes with you. What you want to know?” Grimsley considered what he wanted to ask first. “You mentioned in your research that Ultra Beasts have appeared according to Alolan folklore. Are those stories true?” “Can’t say. There are several accounts of the Ultra Beasts and our guardian deities going against each other. Like all legends, hard to know how much is true.” “Perhaps your legends are more accurate than you think,” Grimsley said in a low voice. He stroked his chin. “I saw one of those Ultra Wormholes in Melemele Island several days ago.” Burnet’s face slipped into a more serious expression. “Yes, Melemele Island was where one of the several dimension disturbances that happened recently took place. Akala Island had one a few days ago, and another one in Aether Paradise. The Aether president did a press conference on that yesterday.” Right, that news report that aired yesterday and caused everyone unease in the Pokémon Center, and where the fair-looking woman who proclaimed that her organization would protect Alola from the Ultra Beasts. Grimsley pressed his lips flat and furrowed his brow. “That reminds me, Kukui told me that Aether and the Dimensional Research Lab are working together. You happen to talk with Ms. Lusamine over what was revealed in that press conference?” Burnet nodded. “I sent her the results of that specific dimensional disturbance, and we discussed that over the phone. Her guests, the Ultra Recon Squad, have been tracking the Ultra Wormholes also, and their readings are the same.” Grimsley flinched, and he cleared his throat. “I’ve encountered them before. They claimed to be from another world. Do you believe them?” “I do, and they even showed me one of their Ultra Beasts. My field of study is in dimensions, after all!” Grimsley grunted, and he looked over his shoulder to see Kukui leaning against the wall and folding his arms against his chest. They exchanged blank stares with one another, and then Grimsley returned to the screen. “So what happens now?” “I’ll still look out for more wormholes and update Aether and the Ultra Recon Squad on them.” Burnet’s face softened. “Thanks to these recent developments, I think I’m much closer to solving the mystery of Ultra Wormholes!” The way Burnet sounded excited made Grimsley’s skin crawl for some reason. He smiled back out of respect. “You seemed very passionate towards your work. I’m sure you’ll reach that goal sooner than later.” “Thanks, that means a lot!” At that instant, someone yelled to Burnet that they finished with their latest analysis and she turned to their direction. “All right, I’ll check them out in a little bit!” she called to them. She looked back at Grimsley and said, “I have to get back to work very soon. Maybe we can chat again, sometime!” “That would be lovely. It’s been a pleasure talking with you.” “Same here! I hope you enjoy your stay in Alola!” Kukui stepped forward and flashed a grin at his wife. “Before you go, I had a call from Kahuna Nanu. He wants you to give a personal message to Assistant Branch Chief Wicke.” “Hm? What kind of message?” she asked. “He wanted to thank her for the postcard she had sent him. He’ll also be more Earth friendly from now on, and that Poni Island’s weather is great now, yeah!” A confused look spread across Burnet’s face, and then she smiled. “Sure, I can let Wicke know the next time I speak with her.” “Awesome! I’ll give you another call later tonight, Maggie pie! You take care!” “I can’t wait. Talk to you again soon, sweetie!” She blew him a kiss on screen and hung up. Grimsley raised a curious brow. That was an odd request from the kahuna there. “Kahuna Nanu called you earlier?” Grimsley asked. Earlier Kukui went outside on the balcony, so he assumed Nanu had talked to him then. “He did. Apparently he and Wicke go back.” Kukui shrugged, and then released a happy sigh. “Magnolia’s great, isn’t she yeah?” Grimsley blinked, a little confused about what Kukui meant by that. Friends? Lovers? He decided that was not his business right now. “Yes, she seems like a bright woman.” Grimsley frowned. “I can’t help but feel something’s going on with Aether and the Ultra Recon Squad.” “How come?” Kukui asked, raising a brow. “You heard what happened in the Unova League over four years ago? Everyone thought the three dragons were only from legends, but they were then came back to life.” Grimsley dragged out a sigh and stared up at the ceiling. “Seems like it would be the same case here.” Kukui’s face fell, but then he gave him an understanding smile. “I get your concern, cousin. Like Molayne, though, I think Aether will do more good than harm.” He patted Grimsley’s shoulder. “Come on, he’s cooking some burgers that will make you your mouth melt!” “Food does sound great now.” Grimsley rose out of his seat and followed Kukui out of the office. By the time they arrived in the dining hall, Molayne, Kahili, and Sophocles had already gathered around the table and eating their meal. A few plates of burgers and cans of soda were set aside, so Grimsley sat down and grabbed his. “So how did your conversation with Professor Burnet go?” Molayne asked after he swallowed his piece. “She told me a little bit about her research and its progress.” Grimsley paused to chew on his burger. The meat was plump and juicy while the vegetables were a little crunchy but fresh. “Now I’m even more interested in her research.” “Have you checked out the library in Malie City? I’m sure there are dozens of books on alternate dimensions there.” “I did, actually. I was reading some of Alola’s history there, and then I met with Nanu’s son, Iokua.” After Kahili finished gulping on her soda, she gave him a curious stare. “Really? I’ve met Iokua and his wife a few times before. They’re sweet people.” “Isn’t he the librarian with brown hair and who always dresses nice?” Sophocles asked. “He’s been very helpful whenever I go visit there.” “That sounds about right.” Grimsley washed his throat with his drink. “Perhaps I’ll pay the library another visit. Professor Burnet did say that the folklore is related to the ultra wormholes.” Kukui flashed him a grin. “Great idea, cousin! You’ll get to learn more of our history and culture also, yeah!” The library would be his next destination, Grimsley decided when he was almost done with his food and with a knitted brow. He could do more than just research on Alola and alternate dimensions there. Xxx When evening came, Grimsley was outside of the balcony of Molayne’s house. The sun had just set, and already the stars sparkled like diamonds. “A beautiful evening, isn’t it?” someone asked from behind. Grimsley turned around to see Molayne approaching him. “It is. I’m able to see the stars clearer here than in Castelia City.” Molayne chuckled, and he joined him. “Yeah, whenever I visited Castelia there was a lot of pollution. There’s less of that in Alola.” “I can tell.” Grimsley paused, and he frowned. “Your love for science reminds me of… someone I knew before.” He wanted to mentally slap himself for casually mentioning Colress that way, but he couldn’t help himself making that comparison. “Oh?” “His name was Colress, and he’s also from Unova. His research was--” He cleared his throat and said in his best Colress impersonation, “Bringing out the power of Pokémon!” Molayne’s face brightened. “Oh, you mean Mr. Antimony!” “You had met him?” Grimsley asked with wide eyes, and Molayne nodded. “He came here a few days ago to research Rosie. He thinks the z-rings and z-power are what brings out a Pokémon’s power.” “That’s what he told me when we bumped into each other recently.” Grimsley narrowed his eyes and lowered his head. “We used to be close, but after a series of mishaps we aren’t talking to each other.” Molayne regarded him for a moment, and then he did a single nod. “I understand. I won’t ask further if you don’t want me to.” “Thanks, I appreciate it.” Grimsley paused. He wanted to get to know Molyane better, so he asked, “What do you do in your spare time?” “I love playing video games, especially with Soffy. He’s a menace in Torkoal Kart and Ultimate Wreck Bros!” “Marshal and Alder likes Ultimate Wreck Bros, too. They also play this very violent one called Deadly Payback.” Grimsley often would see them play one of those games in the lounge, and sometimes they invited him to join them. He only played those games a few times; Ultimate Wreck Bro was mindless fun while Deadly Payback he rolled his eyes at the scenes whenever the fighter that lost got chopped in half and their guts spilled out. “Oh, that one is too gory for my and Soffy’s taste. His parents would hate me if I let him play that!” Grimsley chuckled. “Glad to see you’re looking out for him.” “He’s mature enough to play games with violence and such, but we set some boundaries for him.” Grimsley hummed in agreement. “I’ve only been here a couple days, but I can tell you two care for each other.” Molayne shifted his gaze at the sky. A sad smile pulled on his lips. “Soffy and I don’t have any siblings, so we act like brothers to each other. That’s why I trust him in watching over the observatory.” “From what I saw, I think he’ll do great.” Facing back, Molayne beamed. “Thanks, that means a lot.” They gave each other a longing gaze. Molayne’s hand slipped onto Grimsley’s, squeezing his knuckles. Grimsley flinched and his heart raced. He wasn’t sure if Molayne did that on purpose or not, but he welcomed his touch nonetheless. “Big Mo! Big Mo!” Sophocles yelled, rushing at them. That caused Grimsley and Molayne to let go of each other’s hands. “The PC storage is down again!” Molayne frowned at Grimsley, as if apologizing to him. He faced Sophocles, smiling at him. “All right, I’ll have a look. Shouldn’t take too long, maybe fifteen minutes at most.” “Okay! After that, can we finish up Ultimate Wreck Bro’s new story mode?” “I think we’ll have time for that.” Molayne looked over his shoulder at Grimsley. “Grimsley can even join us!” After some consideration, Grimsley said, “Sure, that sounds fun.” Sophocles jumped and cheered. “Cool! More players is always good!” All three began to head back inside, Grimsley following behind the cousins. His right thumb rubbed on the knuckles of his other hand, Molayne’s warm touch still there. He gazed at the night sky once more, still thinking the stars were prettier here than in Castelia City.
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girl-like-substance
the seal will bite you if you give him half a chance
Posts: 527
Pronouns: xe/xem
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Post by girl-like-substance on Apr 25, 2019 17:07:36 GMT
I think the first thing that jumps out here is how strong the thread running through this chapter is: Grimsley reading about Ultra Wormholes to Nanu reacting to the same events, Nanu passing the message to Kukui, Grimsley hearing it being passed to Burnet without knowing it's a code. It's tight and elegant and holds everything together really well. Nice work!
Anyway, Nanu's a bit rusty at the old secret agenting, huh? Almost blowing Charlotte's cover like that on the phone, not even preparing an excuse for asking Kukui before calling him – you can tell he's been out of the game for a while, so to speak. Especially when you compare him now to what we saw of his past self – like in 'Shark Bite', for instance, he's very much the senior agent who arrives to save the day with a metaphorical cavalry charge. Those days are clearly past now, and his former skills have waned a bit from disuse.
Also like, he immediately jumps out of his seat on hearing Grimsley's still hanging around, lol. Oh, Nanu. You try so hard to act like you don't care, but sometimes it just slips out, huh. :P
And it's Burnet time! I find Burnet really interesting, in that she's like, someone who should've had a big role to play in the story, being an expert on Ultra Wormholes and all, but who you only spoke to once and never really did anything after that, so it's cool to see her expanded on here. You know, I'd never made the connection between her and Kukui both being completely inappropriately dressed for professional scientists – she dresses like she's working out, he dresses like a professional wrestler who has reluctantly agreed to someone's suggestion that he put on a jacket at least – but now that I've seen them interacting with each other in fic, I can totally see it. More broadly, I've never quite been sure what it is that Kukui and Burnet canonically like one another (probably because lbr, Burnet isn't a very well-developed character in-game and Kukui isn't that much better), but again, seeing them interact, you can kinda see how their personalities fit together. It's pretty cute.
I also love how like … normal it is for there to be visitors from a different universe here. Like almost nobody so far has batted an eyelid about the Ultra Recon Squad just hanging out here in Alola and asking questions. This is just like Tuesday for the pokémon world, where there are psychics, ghosts, massive orbital power stations and all kinds of other incredible things happening literally every day, without even taking into account the magic animals; it's a world where these weird things are mundane, and I always love it when fic represents that effectively. And Foul Play does that! It's great.
And that was a super cute touch (… I didn't mean that literally when I wrote it, but hey, maybe I do now :P) at the end! I actually don't know what I expect or want to happen next; I think even just that one brief moment is probably really good for Grimsley, and I think it could easily stand alone as a good device marking his progress through his arc, but lbr, it would also be cool if things developed further.
Missing the opening speech marks here.
That should be 'letting the hot water rain down' – the water rained down, but he let it rain down.
Unless he's sitting on top of the desk, this should be 'at his desk'. I'd also put a comma after 'desk', but maybe that one's just me.
I feel like something's missing here – 'took place' at the end, maybe? Like, the main clause ('Melemele Island was where [it] happened') is unfinished; the only verb here is in the subclause ('one of the several disturbances that happened').
I guess you could argue it either way, but I think I'd have 'dimensional' rather than 'dimension' here.
'Folklore' is a singular entity, like the sea, so it'd be 'is related' here, rather than 'are'.
That second 'onto' shouldn't be there; squeezing doesn't need a preposition.
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Post by bay on May 12, 2019 18:22:38 GMT
Reply to eldestoyster under spoiler tag! And author notes in the end! eldestoyster: Happy to hear the events going on worked together! When I sepearted Pursuit into two chapters, I wanted to continue Nanu's side of the story and came up with that scene! Indeed he's been out of the game for a while, poor him. I like to think though he'll pick those skills up again! Bwahhahaha. I'm like grining ear to ear right now. =P I like to imagine Burnet and Kukui as smart and passionate people but are also pretty laid back and causal, like a computer science person in very casual clothing, haha. To be honest, I haven't thought too much about them until I wrote New Paths and the Sun/Moon anime. Oh my gosh, the anime versions of them are cute haha. Also glad to hear you thought the chapter's ending was cute! Soooo, I have one last Grimsley and Molayne moment this upcoming chapter, and then back to him focusing on Nanu and Ultra Wormholes. However, I'm not going to have Grimsley forget Molayne easily. Thanks for the grammar check as always. Man, I'm behind on fixing those now that I'm pumping the chapters a bit faster loool. I still need to fix Chapter 7 and 8's grammar and some other inconsistencies, so I'll plan for that...soon? D= Chapter Ten Pursuit (Part Two)The next morning Grimsley went to the Pokémon Center. When he arrived, several trainers were there. Most were either watching the morning news or eating breakfast. Two trainers had risen out of their chairs and exited the building, ignoring him. The nurse at the desk was helping out the few trainers waiting in line, and beside her was a Pokémon that resembled a living lei. Grimsley mused that some or most of the trainers were here visiting the observatory. He thought that Iris would have liked to come here, too. A beat. Oh crap, he hadn’t contacted her since arriving! He rushed to the video phone and dialed her number. It was late afternoon in Unova, so it shouldn't be too much of a disturbance for her. He waited until Iris picked up the phone. Upon seeing him, she grinned ear to ear. "Oh my gosh, Grimsley! I thought you would call earlier!" "Sorry about that. I was extremely busy." "I bet!" Iris raised her chin high. "Having too much fun in Alola, hm?" The corner of Grimsley's upper lip twitched. "Not exactly. Many things happened while I was there." "Well then, tell me!" Iris demanded, and for the duration of their conversation Grimsley told her his adventures in Alola so far. Iris was surprised when he told her about the wormholes and meeting beings from another world. She was even more stunned that Colress had been with the Ultra Recon Squad. Like when he had talked about him to his mother, Grimsley asked that they not talk about him for the time being and Iris respected his wishes. He then mentioned about going into the abandoned Thrifty Megamart and his battle with Mimikins. "Oh wow, so that Mimikyu gave you her z-crystal? I thought only young trainers taking the island challenge can get them!" "I thought so, too. Mimikins enjoyed our battle and gave me the Z-crystal as thanks." "Heh, that's awfully nice of her! Do you have it with you?" Grimsley nodded and pulled the Ghostinum-Z crystal out from his kimono's pocket. He raised it in front of the screen, and Iris's face lit up. "Oh wow, first time seeing one of those! Are you practicing its Z-move now?" "I've been practicing its dance, but I need a Z-bracelet to have the Z-move fully work." "Huh, so kinda like Mega Evolution?" Grimsley flinched upon hearing that. The trainer needed a Keystone and their chosen Pokémon's Mega Stone. He knew Mega Evolution firsthand thanks to Colress. Grimsley's eyes narrowed. "I would like us to not talk about that, either," he said, his voice sharper than intended. Iris blinked in confusion at first, and then gasped when she realized what he meant. "Sure, we don't have to mention that either." She then asked, “Did you do anything else after that?” “I did,” Grimsley said. "Professor Kukui is forming Alola's first Pokémon League. He invited me to be a consultant to two trainers he has chosen as the Elite Four." "Hey, that's awesome! Did you get to battle them?" "I did, and they seemed more than qualified to be in it. One of the trainers is also head of the Hokulani Observatory. He gave me a tour of the place." “That observatory does sound like fun! If I ever visit Alola, I’ll definitely visit that place and the other locations you mentioned.” “I’m sure you’ll love those sites.” Grimsley’s smile faded. “How is everyone else doing?” “We’re all doing great! Only a few trainers came, but it’s usually slow during this time.” “I see.” Grimsley shifted his head with narrowed eyes. "I can't believe it's been over four years since Team Plasma's attack in the Pokémon League." Iris frowned. "Yeah, me too. I remember going there with Drayden and battling several grunts. Then they reappeared shortly after I became Champion." "You met them a couple times, correct?" Iris hummed and nodded. "Nate and I went against those guys too, and they were more annoying than the original Team Plasma. At least they’re gone for good!" "Indeed." Grimsley paused. “I'll be heading to Malie City again later today to do some research on Alola's lore." “You're doing that while on vacation?” Iris flashed him an amused grin. "Did Shauntal ask you to look up something for her?" "No, she didn't. Apparently the wormholes and Alola's history are connected, so I want to read up on that." “Really? That sounds pretty crazy." "You don't even know the half of it." Iris chuckled. "Maybe so! Well, I need to head out myself. Do call me and the other Elite Four again soon!” “I will. You and the others have a good day,” Grimsley said. Both of them hung up, the video phone’s screen turning black. Grimsley leaned back against his chair, his head behind his arms, and glimpsed at the lobby. Only a few trainers remained inside, probably waiting for their Pokémon to get healed. His mind drifted back to the press conference and his conversation with Professor Burnet. She would update her research to Aether, and was excited to learn more about them. “Close to solving the mysteries of the wormholes. Such a risk there …” Grimsley’s voice trailed off, then he stroked his chin. He wondered how Becky was doing, and her thoughts on all of this. He dialed the number to the Aether House and waited almost a minute until Becky picked it up. “Aether House, how may I… Oh, hi Grimsley!” Becky greeted him with a warm smile. “Is there something that you need?” “I do. Say Becky, have you ever met this president of yours?” "You mean President Lusamine? A few times, yes. Sometimes she visit the Aether House to check the Pokémon here. She seems very sweet and caring towards them. Why you ask?" "She did a press conference a few days ago about the Ultra Beasts. Did you watch it?" “Yes, I did. I actually got informed from Aether’s headquarters to keep an eye on any Ultra Beast that appears.” Grimsley looked over his shoulder once more. One trainer picked up their Scrafty and waved goodbye to the nurse. Two more still were sat down on one of the couches and talking. Inside seemed a little quieter now. He faced back at Becky. "The Ultra Recon Squad showed us one of the Ultra Beasts, Poipole,” he said in a low voice. “From your reaction, you weren't aware that Aether has an interest in them?” Becky gasped, and then she scratched her forehead. "Not really. I know Aether and the Ultra Recon Squad collaborated together over some research projects, but nothing more than that." "Yes, I remember you saying that when we met them. How do you feel about all this going on?" "Somewhat mixed. The Ultra Beasts sound scary." Her expression then changed to her grinning. "I'm sure though that Aether will protect us from them!" “Oh, I see.” Grimsley had his lips flat. “So you have that much faith in them, hm?” "Well I've been with Aether for a while now, so of course I trust them." She then asked, “How was your visit to the Hokulani Observatory?" This time, Grimsley smiled a little. "It was great. Molayne gave me a tour of it. I also got to battle him and Kahili to see how prepared they are for the Elite Four." "That's so cool! Man, I should've been there to see that!" “See what?” someone else asked, revealed to be Gracie. She and Yungoos joined Becky onscreen, and when the girl noticed Grimsley she beamed. “Oh, Alola Uncle Grimsley!” she cheered. “Uncle Grimsley?” he asked with wide eyes, taken aback by that nickname. Becky gave a sheepish laugh and rubbed the back of her neck. “Gracie and Hunter already took a liking to you, so they’ve been calling you Uncle Grimsley.” “Yea! You and your Pokémon are super nice! Unlike Kahuna Nanu, who wouldn’t even let us touch his big kitty!” After that, Gracie’s Yungoos wiggled around her arms and squealed. “Yungoos seems to agree, too!” Grimsley couldn’t help but chuckle. “Glad to hear I’m the good guy compare to him.” “Um, if Yungoos ever gets in trouble, you’ll help him? Right?” Upon asking that, Gracie pushed Yungoos closer to the screen and the Pokémon made a face. Grimsley stared at Yungoos for several seconds. “An odd question to ask. But yes, I would help him if possible,” he responded, and that earned him another cheer from Gracie. On screen, Becky offered Gracie a soft smile. “Why don’t you and Yungoos continue to play with Hunter and Headmaster right now?” “Okay! Talk to you later, Uncle Grimsley!” Gracie waved to him goodbye, and then ran off to Hunter and the other Pokémon. “Sorry about that,” Becky said, now alone once more. “I guess she was excited seeing me talking to you there.” “It’s fine," Grimsley said. "Well, I should be going now, but thank you for answering some of my questions there.” “Not a problem!” Becky grinned at him. “You have a good day!” Grimsley wished the same for her, and they both hung up. Rising from his seat, he yawned and stretched his arms. As he left the Pokémon Center and went to pack his things, he mused the sooner he got to the library the better. Xxx After Grimsley had packed his things, he went to the bus stop to leave to Malie City. Everyone went outside the Hokulani Observatory to see him off. "I've enjoyed my time here in the observatory," Grimsley said, and Molayne gave him an appreciative smile. "Glad to hear! You've given all of us some great insight on what it's like to be in the Elite Four." "Gigi and I would love for you to visit here again!" Sophocles grinned. On his back, Gigi chirped and nodded. "Perhaps if time allows." Grimsley faced both Kukui and Kahili. "You two will be sticking around here longer?" "I will stay here until tomorrow," Kahili said. "Going to meet my dad in Akala Island and train there for a while." "Molayne and I need to take care of some Pokémon League stuff, then I'll be going to Malie City myself, yeah!" Kukui raised his head and pointed ahead. "Looks like the bus is about to leave soon!" Grimsley looked over his shoulder to see a few people boarding one of the Exeggutor Express buses already. He hummed and faced back at everyone. "I better get going, then. All of you take care." He went to each one individually. He scratched Gigi's chin and did the Alola rainbow sign to Sophocles, who did the same. When he approached Kukui, the professor offered him a big embrace. Grimsley was taken aback by that, but once Kukui let go he shook his hand also. After that, he and Kahili grinned at each other and shook hands. He went to Molayne last, who pulled out a business card from his jacket and smiled. “Here’s my business card,” he said. A slight blush formed on his cheeks, and he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Sometimes my work phone gets busy, so it’s better if you contact me through my other number.” While gazing at the card on his palm, Grimsley’s heart jumped. He put it away and smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.” They embraced, Molayne’s body warm against his. After letting go, Grimsley and Molayne exchanged soft grins at one another. Grimsley grabbed his bags and walked to the bus. Before stepping in, he glanced to see Molayne and Kahili smile fondly at him while Kukui and Sophocles wave at him goodbye. He waved back and boarded the bus. xxx As usual, Nanu was doing his patrol outside. No rain today, but white clouds still covered most of the sky. He stared around to see the Ariados, Scraggy, and other Pokémon running around in the grass. There were no Team Skull grunts here; either they overslept or didn't feel like going out yet. A Honchkrow's cry was heard, and Nanu gazed up to see his Pokémon flying above him. Eventually Honchkrow dived down towards him, so he spread his right arm wide and let him perch there. "Find anything suspicious?" he asked, scratching Honchkrow's chest. The bird's white ruff was soft and fluffy. Honchkrow squawked and bobbed his head a few times. Nanu frowned. "All right, show me the way." Honchkrow cawed and flew off, Nanu following him. They pushed forward at the corner of Po Town's wall. When they reached there, Nanu stopped and stared at the sight before him. A blonde boy stood in the middle of a field. His dark clothing was ripped in several places, most notably on his sleeves and pants. A Golbat and another Pokémon, a canine-like creature with fish scales on their legs and a wooden helmet covering their head, battled each other. "Jester, Shadow Ball! Null, move away and hit hard with Iron Head!" The bat Pokémon opened his mouth and spat out a crimson-colored ball at Null. Null jumped out of the way just in time, and then they howled and their helmet shined a bright light. They collided with Jester and rammed onto the Golbat's mouth. That caused Jester to almost choke and back away. After that, Jester's body glowed violet and changed shape. Instead of a Golbat, Jester was now a dark-furred fox with a red voluminous mane. He shook his fur and glared at Null. Nanu lowered his head and folded his arms against his chest. He remembered hearing about Zorua and Zoroark's ability to create illusions due to police reports of Zorua pretending to be children in schools. He glanced at Honchkrow, who was watching the battle with a keen eye. “Jester, Night Slash! Null, counter with Crush Claw!” Both Jester's and Null's claws glowed, and they launched at each other. Jester sliced Null's leg first, leaving a deep cut there. Null howled in pain, only for them to later slash across Jester’s face. It was Jester's turn to scream, with a large cut left on his forehead. Gladion’s face tightened in determination. “Aerial Ace before Jester bounces back,” Gladion said, thrusting his arm forward. Null charged at the fox like a lightning bolt and their bodies collided. Jester flew up in the air briefly, and then plummeted to the ground and collapsed. After Null approached Jester and licked his face, the Zoroark picked himself up and shook his fur. Gladion joined them, scratching Null's chin and petting Jester's mane. "Great work, you two," Gladion complimented them, and his Pokémon responded with positive cries. While watching that battle, Nanu paid close attention to Null and how they handled themselves. With a grunt, he walked up towards them. Honchkrow followed behind him. "That's some training your Pokémon are having," he said. That made Gladion stop and stare at him. "Officer Nanu..." he said in a low voice. He already knew about Gladion's connection to Aether. The reason why he hadn’t sent him back was because Gladion had asked him not to, and what he did with his life was none of his business. Null and Jester stepped forward and sneered at Nanu, as if protecting their trainer. In intimidation, Honchkrow screeched and spread his wings wide at them. Nanu raised his right palm up. "Easy there, you three. I'm not looking for trouble, yet." Honchkrow and both of Gladion's Pokémon backed away from one another. Gladion narrowed his eyes at him for a second, and then went to his Zoroark. "What do you want?" Gladion asked while he pulled out a potion bottle and sprayed it on Jester, his back facing Nanu. That was actually a good question. Originally Nanu was here because Honchkrow took him here. He looked at Null, who sat down like an obedient puppy, and recalled his conversation with Anabel and Looker. "That Pokémon there," Nanu said, pointing at Null. "You been with it a long while?" After Jester was healed, Gladion scratched his chin. He looked over his shoulder at Null, and then had his attention back at Jester. "We have. Maybe two years or so? What's it to you?" "A couple colleagues of mine from the International Police are aware of Null." "The International Police?" Gladion asked in shock. When he stopped scratching Jester, he whined. "Don't tell me you'll have them take Null away!" "Relax, kid, I didn't do anything of the sort. I can't promise Interpol will show mercy on your pup, though." Nanu put his hands in the pockets of his pants, and saw Honchkrow moving towards Null. The bird tilted his head and used his beak to peck Null's helmet, which led them to swipe him away with his fish-scale paw. Honchkrow screamed and backed away. Nanu thought he was just curious over Null's helmet, so he shrugged. "Wait, if the International Police are aware of Null, that can only mean one of two things," Gladion said. "Either someone from Aether has informed them, or they're working together!" Nanu's stomach dropped. The boy wasn't entirely wrong on that assumption, but he couldn't tell him about Charlotte. He cleared his throat. "I can't tell you if you're right or not on that claim. Best to watch your back more than ever." While Nanu and Gladion were talking, Honchkrow perched himself on a tree branch. Jester got away from Gladion's sight and turned himself into a Honchkrow. He flew up to where Honchkrow was and shook his tail in front of him. Annoyed, Honchkrow bit Jester's tail, and that caused him to scream. Gladion broke his stare on Nanu when that happened. "Hey Jester, cut it out!" he yelled. Once Honchkrow let go of Jester, he turned himself back into a Zoroark and landed on the ground. He hung his head in shame. Gladion shook his head, returning him back in his pokéball. Nanu blinked and his eyebrows squished together. "Sorry about that, Jester gets bored easily." "The Meowth in the police station are like that too, so don't worry." Nanu then said, "You mentioned you and Null need to get stronger. For what purpose?" A sharp gasp escaped from Gladion. He sat down next to Null, pulling his knees against his chest. "You heard of my father, Mohn Jubert, right?" Nanu raised a brow. He had heard about Mohn through the news and his connections. Interpol didn't seriously look into the Aether Foundation until after Nanu had retired, but he did get more information on what Mohn had been working on. When Nanu had found out about his disappearance, that send off alarm bells in his head. "Vaguely. He had been missing for several years now, right?" "Yes. Ever since that incident, my mother hasn't been the same." Gladion ran his fingers through his hair. "Did you watch that press conference she held in Aether's headquarters?" "Of course, it's practically big news for Alola. I take it you have some strong feelings over that." Gladion gave a weak nod. "After that broadcast, I know what she's actually going for. I can't lose her, too." Gladion's true motivation. That was what Looker and Anabel tried to figure out. And now, Nanu had figured it out. "You ran away from home to prevent your father's disappearance from being repeated." He and Gladion fixed their stares at each other. After a moment, Gladion's left hand twitched once more and he held his wrist. "Null and I, we have to get stronger, to protect everyone." Null nuzzled their helm onto Gladion's cheeks, and he offered them a sad smile. He raised his head at Nanu's direction. "Do you know what it's like to feel hopeless when someone gets hurt?" Pain welled up inside Nanu's throat. He felt that when he had to kill the Ultra Beasts, and when Sana had been taken away by Glutton. He wasn't going to subject him to the violent details of that mission. "I do, actually. But that story is a little mature for you, boy." His response caused Gladion to jump and glare at him. "Are you even taking this seriously?" "More than you think," Nanu said in a flat voice. Gladion narrowed his eyes at him. He sighed in frustration, jerking his head away from him. Null walked up to him, their shoulder on Gladion’s hip. Gazing down at Null, he place his palm on their forehead. Honchkrow was still perched on the tree, watching everyone. "Either way, my Pokémon still needs more training, and I need a Z-ring. You can help me with both." Nanu furrowed his brow, already decided on his response. "Did you take the island challenge?" "I actually did one trial here some weeks back, but I got sidetracked. Most of my and Null's time gets used up doing small jobs for Team Skull." A crooked grin pulled on the corner of Nanu's mouth. "Two other people made that request too. I refused because they didn't take the island challenge. Gonna do the same with you." "You just don't want to be bothered, old man," Gladion said, crossing his arms against his chest. "Yup, that's it. Doing the second trial will do you good, though. Come back to me after you did that." Gladion's face fell. He grunted and turned around, his back facing Nanu. "Urgh, whatever. Let's go, Null." Gladion flicked his hand, and he and Null moved out. Nanu watched them until they were far away from his sight. He walked to the tree where Honchkrow was perched. "You wouldn't battle him too, right bird brain?" he asked him. Honchkrow cried out and flapped his wings, which Nanu took as a yes. Or maybe he was mad he called him bird brain. "Thought so. Come on, that's enough patrolling for the day." He and Honchkrow began going back to the police station. While walking, he thought about how Mohn's disappearance had affected Gladion deeply. When he was in Interpol, Iokua didn't like how often he was away from his family. Nanu's situation was different, but he understood what Gladion was going through. Now, he was one of the island kahunas. He hoped he had the strength to protect Iokua, and everyone else on Ula'ula Island. Xxx Grimsley entered the Malie City Library shortly after it opened. There were several people inside already, mostly older patrons using the computers or on the couch reading a novel. He went to the second floor like last time, which only had a few more people around. Grimsley grabbed a few books from the shelves and took a seat next to one of the tables. He first read The Guardian Deities of the Islands once more, hoping there would be something about the Ultra Beasts. This time he read the sections on Tapu Koko, Tapu Lele, and Tapu Fini since he had skipped them last time. Tapu Koko and Tapu Lele’s passages didn’t hold his interest too much as their entries described how they were caring deities but cunning in battles. When he got to Tapu Fini’s entry, it first talked about how they would unleash thick fog on those who wanted their special water they could create. The next part, however, caught Grimsley off guard. “Legends also foretold that Tapu Fini has the ability to make apprations of those who are deceased. If a bypasser gets caught in the island guardian’s mist, the spirit of their loved one can be summoned.” Grimsley paused. “Spirits, huh?” He rested his elbow on the table and had his chin on his palm. His other hand’s fingers tapped on the surface. Nanu also oversaw Poni Island, so he should know about this, too. Maybe he could ask him to take him to Tapu Fini’s temple so that he could talk to his father… Shaking his head, Grimsley immediately dismissed that idea. Nanu was already annoyed at him as it was. He straightened himself back up and continued on his research. Alola's Light was another book that caught his attention. The first chapter described a time when a hole poked through the sky and "a beast that devours the sun" appeared. The beast won a battle against the island deities, but it blessed Alola with their light. There was apparently a beast of the moon too as it mentioned that "through their union, they brought new life." Grimsley blinked in confusion upon reading that. "Fragile heir? Did it mean a new Pokémon?" Grimsley said aloud. One person near the books stared and hushed at him. He grunted and read the final passage in a low voice. "The ancient kings sang their thanks for Solgaleo with song of flute. Two tones rang out across the altar, a perfect pair, ever after mute." The next page had a picture of a lion made of steel and the sun as a backdrop. Several people lined up and prayed to the beast. On the right corner there was a flute with the sun carved on it. Grimsley guessed that must be Solgaleo. He looked up the next chapter, which talked about "the beast that stole all heaven's light." Like Solgaleo, this beast too went against the island deities and the kings sang their praise to it. On one page it had a picture of a bat with stars as wings and the moon as a backdrop. A flute was also shown, but this one had the moon carved on it. That beast's name was Lunala. Grimsley flipped the page to the next chapter, and the third picture on it caught his eye. Lunala and Solgaleo appeared on it, but in between them was a dragon-like creature shining brightly. The following passage explained how before Alola was formed there was no light. Three legendary Pokémon then appeared and showered light all over the region that lasted for days. The people gave the Pokémon that shined the brightest the name ‘the Blinding One’, as their light was filled with a mysterious power. After the Blinding One used all of their light, they went into a deep sleep. Lunala and Solagelo soon shared their light with the people, and the Blinding One woke up and flew off to the sky. When he finished reading, Grimsley leaned back against his chair, head over his arms. “Solagelo, Lunala, and the Blinding One. How peculiar.” He scratched the back of his neck and sighed. Someone then tapped on his shoulder, so he turned around and flinched upon seeing Iokua smiling a little. "Can't get enough of Alola's lore, huh?" he said. “I admit your region’s stories are fascinating to read.” Grimsley rubbed his eyes. "After hearing about the possibility of alternate dimensions a few days ago, I got curious. I began reading the books here to see if there's anything about them." "Oh? Have you heard of Professor Burnet? She does extensive research on them." "I read some of her stuff, and even talked to her about it yesterday." Grimsley closed the book shut. "Apparently it relates to the Ultra Beasts the Aether Foundation lady had mentioned in the news." Iokua’s smile faded, and his eyes fluttered.“Follow me to my office," he whispered. As Iokua started walking, Grimsley blinked in confusion. He got up and followed him. Iokua’s office was in a hallway on the second floor. He and Iokua walked in silence until they reached his office, the librarian opening the door for them. The room looked just as when Grimsley saw it in the background when he, Nanu, Acerola, and Becky talked to Iokua through the tablet. The bright afternoon sunlight streamed through the windows. “Would you like some coffee?” Iokua asked. “I got either hazelnut or vanilla cream.” “Vanilla cream, if you don’t mind,” Grimsley said, taking a seat. Iokua went to the coffee maker that was in the right corner of the room. “Did my dad talk about his past to you?” Iokua asked as he began preparing the water and coffee grains into the coffee maker. “You mean him as a former international officer? He did, vaguely.” Grimsley plopped his arm onto the desk and his eyes narrowed. “He told me about this one mission where his group lost a member, but he didn’t expand on that.” "He did, huh." Iokua was silent until the coffee finished brewing. He poured two cups and mixed in the sugar and cream in them. "That's all?" "He actually showed me a picture of his group, and I recognized one of the agents. His friend interviewed me back when Unova's Pokémon League was under attack by Team Plasma." "Right, you mentioned that to me before. That must have been a traumatizing experience." Grimsley closed his eyes and hummed, folding his arms against his chest. "More a hindrance than anything, but I appreciate the sentiment." Iokua sat down across from Grimsley and handed him his coffee. He inhaled its strong scent and sipped his drink, the vanilla cream sweet on his tongue and lips. “You have an idea of what happened in that mission?” Grimsley asked, and then he took another sip. Iokua drank his own coffee before responding. “He mentioned the mission involved a Pokémon he wasn’t allowed to talk about. I had a hunch it might be an Ultra Beast from the folklore.” Grimsley thought back to when the Ultra Recon Squad had shown him and Nanu their Pokémon. His fingers tapped on the rim of his cup. "Speaking of Ultra Beasts, I saw one before. Nanu and I met a couple strangers who weren’t from here. They showed us a Pokémon and Nanu said the name, 'Adhesive.'" Iokua's eyes grew wide. "Adhesive? What did it look like?" "Hard to describe. Small and purple, has a big forehead with nozzles on it." "Doesn't sound like any Pokémon I've heard of." Iokua shrugged. "Must be an Ultra Beast, then." Grimsley quirked a brow at him. "You've been responding half-heartedly since we came in your office. Did something happen between you and Nanu before?" Iokua’s lips pressed together in a slight grimace. He nodded and his gaze fell on his coffee. "When I was younger, I got mad at him for being away for work a lot. We argued quite a few times, and that put a strain on our relationship for some time." "But you two made up eventually, right? You seemed happy with him from the couple phone calls we had together." "We did after he became kahuna, yeah. His Interpol days still upset me a little, though." "I'm sorry to have brought that up," Grimsley said with a sincere frown. "It's fine. You wanted to know more about him, right?" Iokua flashed him a grin. “He does care a lot about the people and Pokémon on this island. That’s why Tapu Bulu chose him as our island’s kahuna.” Grimsley mulled over what Iokua said while he drank the rest of his coffee. He set his cup down and smiled at him. “I appreciate you shedding some light on your father for me.” “If my dad had already told you about his past, then I’m sure he’ll open up to you more.” Iokua's smile widened. “Perhaps I’ll talk to him again. He stays at Po Town, correct?” he asked, and Iokua nodded. “It’s pass Route 15’s waters. You would have to go through Ula’ula Meadows. Be aware of the Oricorio’s fiery dances there, though! The police station is very close after that.” With a small smile, he thanked Iokua for the coffee and rose from his seat. The two men shook hands, and he headed toward the door. Before Grimsley touched the doorknob, Iokua called out to him. "Oh, before you go! Have you heard of Lake of the Moone?" "Lake of the Moone? Oh, Acerola mentioned that place to me before I left the Aether House." "That's great! If you drop by Ula’ula Meadows, do check out the Lake of the Moone there." “I see. I’ll consider doing that too, then. And thank you once more for the coffee and conversation.” Grimsley waved goodbye and stepped out of the room. He intended to visit Nanu over at his police station to get more of his story from him, but first he had some training to do. xxxx Author's Note: Happy Mother's Day and Detective Pikachu movie weekend, everyone! Yeah, so this is the second half of the Pursuit chapter with Grimsley and Nanu finding answers to their own questions. They'll still be doing their own things a while longer before they meet again, but should be soon!
For those following this fic up to this point, I've been leaning more and more towards US/UM's storyline and characterization on certain characters. Originally I had Lusamine's S/M characterization in when I first wrote that Aether press conference scene, but I changed her lines last minute. While some of her actions will be referenced in upcoming chapters, she won't be the big focus in Foul Play.
Oh wow, I'm rambling over Lusamine during Mother's Day oops. You can think of Nanu and Gladion's conversation about her as a celebration of that.
Besides that, I went ahead and did a couple more anime references. I thought mentioning Tapu Fini's mist and the anime's version of Necrozma lore would make fun Easter Eggs. Maybe one of those references will come to play...
I think that's all! Once again, thanks bobandbill for the great beating. See you in the summer (or winter in the southern hemisphere haha)!
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girl-like-substance
the seal will bite you if you give him half a chance
Posts: 527
Pronouns: xe/xem
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Post by girl-like-substance on May 14, 2019 23:03:32 GMT
Aw, I like Grimsley and Iris' relationship! Like she has genuine concern and affection for someone who could be just a work friend but is clearly like, an actual friend too – you don't call up your work friends when you're on holiday, after all. She's the one who suggested he go to Alola in the first place, and it's nice to see Grimsley check in with her about his travels having followed her suggestion.
Also nice: the way Grimsley smiles when Becky mentions the observatory and instantly mentions Molayne. He's not always such a cool customer, huh. :P And hey, speaking of Molayne, Grimsley's not doing too bad out of this trip, is he? Got away with his number and everything. I'd say that was pretty smooth, but let's be real, we saw it happen and it was mostly just two awkward people being awkward at each other. :V Worked out okay in the end, though. Side note, semi-related to all this parting stuff – Kukui is absolutely the kind of person who hugs you when you go to shake his hand. Didn't know that about him before, but having seen that, I am totally 100% in agreement. :P
Anyway, elsewhere in Alola, the story picks up a third guy with depressive tendencies in Gladion, a kid taking on a burden he should never have had to face. I can see a bit of Nanu the kahuna in his interaction with him – Nanu the person who helps kids with starters, who has (despite his attempts to prove otherwise) a heart. He actually seems to be able to hide it fairly well from Gladion underneath that studied dismissiveness, telling him that he can't be bothered to help – and sure, that fools a kid, but like, it's clear to the reader that he is actually invested, what with the way he tells Gladion to come back after doing the other trial. Like Gladion might not have realised it yet, but that's basically Nanu sending him to complete one chunk of the island challenge and come back for something that might well turn out to be his grand trial.
While Nanu's getting some answers there, Grimsley's getting answers of his own back in Malie. He's really making the most of this holiday, huh? Like he's pretty serious about relaxing and learning and stuff; most people have to actively plan to get this much done on holiday. His meeting with Iokua's kinda cool; it's nice to get some outside perspective on Nanu and the costs of his career. Like we know losing Sana affected Nanu badly, but so far we haven't seen much of the impact of his stint at Interpol on anyone else.
I was a bit confused at all the secrecy surrounding Iokua's invitation for Grimsley to come to his office, though. Like I wasn't really what the whole looking-around-and-whispering thing was in aid of; it's not like there was any real enormous revelation, just a general conversation that was more appropriate to have in private.
While there was a little less of a strong thread running through the chapter this time round, I felt that that wasn't really an issue. This is part two of what you set up last time, and I think it worked fine as a part two: some questions were asked in part one, and Grimsley and Nanu got answers here in part two. That's all that this needed to hold together, and it got it, so. It works!
Anyway, here are some nitpicks and typos and stuff, as usual:
Used in this way, 'mused' needs to be followed by 'that'.
I feel like 'other' doesn't quite belong here in this sentence.
If this was narration (e.g. 'Shauntal had asked him to look up something for her'), that 'had' would be grammatical, because this is happening in the past relative to the events of the story, which are in the past. But since it's dialogue, it's being spoken by someone for whom the events of the story are the present – so it should just be in the past tense ('Did Shauntal ask you to look up something for her?'). I hope that makes sense, it's a complicated one to describe and idk if I'm getting it right. D: This one comes up a couple of other times this chapter, I think.
Present tense seems more appropriate here, unless something happened and Lusamine doesn't do it any more – like, these are visits that are ongoing, aren't they? Or maybe I'm misreading this. In which case, sorry, just ignore me!
Same as with the line about Shauntal above.
I feel like that might be a typo for 'appreciative'? Unless what you mean is that Grimsley appreciates the smile, in which case this is correct.
That looks like it might be a typo for 'ruff' to me.
Missing an N in 'canine'. Also, I think that should be 'fish scales on its legs' or something – Null doesn't have scales in place of legs, which 'for' implies; it has scales covering its legs.
Unless both hands are going in one pocket, there's an S missing on the end of 'pockets' here.
Another tense thing here, like with the line about Shauntal.
You've got an extra R in 'patrolling' here.
I feel like maybe that should be 'shortly after it opened'.
Sorry, I'm not quite sure what 'reserved' means in this sentence – none of the meanings I can think of apply here. Am I missing something, maybe?
'Upset' needs to agree with the plural 'days', so it shouldn't have an S on the end.
That first 'for' should be deleted, I think, and the 'to' changed to 'for'.
That's all from me this time! Next time, I'm guessing, Grimsley's off in the direction of Po Town – which I feel like is about the place where he canonically meets Selene. So based on that snippet of his interaction with Selene you shared on the Discord, I'm really looking forward to seeing that! :D
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Post by bay on Jun 10, 2019 0:01:27 GMT
Reply to Eldestoyster's review under spoilers tag! eldestoyster: Yeah, I thought since Iris was the one who suggested this vacation that it makes sense for Grimsley to talk with her.
Heh, I enjoy having Grimsley and Molayne being awkward with one another. = P
Glad you mention this! Both S/M and US/UM had vague implications with Nanu giving Gladion the Z-Ring, moreso with US/UM with how Gladion has a the dark-type z-crystal too. As for the Grand Trial, oh do I have plans on that!
Ah huh. I thought about showing how Nanu's Interpol stints affected others, and it wasn't until while writing Shark Bite that I thought of the execution.
Yeah, this chapter was more of a follow up to last chapter. I was worried that Nanu and Grimlsey's scenes there aren't as connected, but glad to hear it works!
Hm, I probably made the invitation a bit dramatic. Once I get fixing the Chapter Ten grammar edits, I might fix that too. Thanks so much again for your support! Chapter Eleven Hone Claws (Rockstars and Mega Evolution)Next to Malie City was the Malie Gardens. The grass and flowers were well kept, and many of the Pokémon that resided here were friendly and peaceful. Like Malie City, the bridges and buildings resembled Johto-designed architecture. Standing on one of the corners was a tall tower similar to the Bell Tower in Ecruteak City, and in the middle of the garden was a large lake shaped like a Gyarados. Grimsley had been training in the gardens the past three days, and today he had been here all afternoon. He let out Raz and Blackjack, and had them battle one another. Raz stood tall in the grass while Blackjack was in the lake. “Blackjack, Ice Fang! And Raz, counter with Shadow Ball!” Blackjack jumped out of the lake and opened his jaws, cold mist seeping out from his mouth and his fangs glowing blue. Before he reached Raz, she spatted out a crimson ball and it exploded inside Blackjack’s throat. The shark screeched and was blown back into the lake with a big splash. Both Grimsley and Raz rushed to the edge of the lake. He looked down to see small bubbles forming, and then several seconds later Blackjack popped up. Grimsley sighed in relief. “Good to see you’re still in good shape.” Grimsley pressed his lips and narrowed his eyes. “Now Blackjack, Aqua Jet! Blackjack surrounded himself with torrential waters and shot out of the lake like a rocket. His body collided with Raz, slamming her onto the ground. Blackjack dived back into the lake just as Raz picked herself up and shook the water off her fur. “Raz, watch for Blackjack’s movements and then strike.” Raz gazed up at Grimsley with a low growl and nodded. She looked down at the lake, and Blackjack’s shadow could be seen swimming swiftly. Grimsley snapped his fingers. Blackjack exploded out of the lake, his fangs glowing blue once more. Raz quickly countered by cloaking her right paw in purple vapors, that formed into a large claw, and left a deep cut on Blackjack’s face. Blackjack crashed on the land and collapsed. Grimsley went to his Pokemon’s side and pulled out a potion from his bag. He sprayed the medicine onto Blackjack’s face, careful to not do it directly on the eyes. Blackjack winced at its stings, but already the cut on his face faded. “You and Raz did great today,” he said in a soothing tone and returned him back in his pokéball. Raz growled sadly, as if apologizing to her trainer. Smiling down at her, Grimsley scratched Raz’s cheek and neck. “Oh hey, Grimsley!” a male’s voice called out to him. Grimsley flinched and turned around to see a middle-aged man approaching him. “Ronald?” Grimsley said in a surprised voice. Ronald flashed him a grin. “Fancy seeing you again! Doing some training right now?” “I was. Nothing too serious, though.” “That’s good!” Ronald said. “I saw a little bit of that battle. No surprise your Liepard and Sharpedo are very well-trained!” Upon hearing that, Raz’s ears perked up and she cried a happy meow. “Raz appreciates your compliment there,” he said, scratching her cheek once more. Raz responded by rubbing at his hip. Ronald chuckled. “Say, there’s a tea shop here. Why don’t we go there and talk some more?” Grimsley regarded Ronald a moment. “Sure, we can do that.” After Grimsley returned Raz, he followed Ronald to the tea shop. xxx Past the biggest bridge was the tea shop. There was a small building where the tea was served, and tables covered with colorful tablecloths outside. Besides Grimsley and Ronald, two other people occupied one table. The tea was bitter with a tinge of honey in it, hot and sweet inside Grimsley’s throat. He first asked Ronald what he was doing in Malie City. It turned out he was here to visit his daughter and her family, and was staying with them for another two days. Grimsley then told him how he had met with several people here, including Nanu. Ronald was very interested on their encounter, as expected. “So you’re doing some training before you meet him again?” Ronald asked after he sipped his cup. “After my battles with Molayne and Kahili, I knew Nanu would be just as challenging. I want to battle him before I leave.” “I see. Well, you should get to know him better! That’ll up your chances in scoring a battle with him!” Grimsley groaned, staring up at the sky. “Yes, I know. I’ve been told that several times already.” He paused to drink the last of his tea. “You mentioned having a niece that had battled me before. How is she?” “Oh, you mean Berthy? Right now she’s traveling through the Galar region!” Grimsley cracked a small smile. “The Galar region, hm? Some of my family from my father’s side were from there. I visited there a couple times before, a charming region.” “It is! She showed me some pictures of her there!” Ronald whipped out his phone from the pocket of his pants and handed it to Grimsley. There was one picture of a dark haired girl with her and Samurott on a bridge. In the background there was a large clock tower that Grimsley recognized as Big Ben. Grimsley checked out another photo of her and another girl with brunette hair in front of a building with old-style architecture. From the looks of it, they took this picture in a small town Grimsley couldn’t remember at the moment. “I think I remember Berthy now. She and her Samurott worked well together.” Grimsley handed the phone back to Ronald. “Looks like she’s having fun.” “She is! Last I talked with her, she’s going for her fourth badge there.” Grimsley’s face softened. “When you get the chance, tell your niece I wish her luck and a safe journey in Galar.” “I will! Berthy will be so excited!” A large grin stretched across Ronald’s face. “Speaking of training, have you tried this place called the Kantonian Gym? “You mean that building with the golden roof and the Pokémon League logo?” Grimsley asked with a quirked eyebrow. “Yeah! It opened almost half a year or so. Alola never had Pokémon Gyms like other regions, so a lot of Alolan people wanted to try it.” Grimsley hummed, folding his arms against his chest. “I thought about checking it out, but thought the battles would be similar to the ones back in the Battle Buffet.” “I don’t blame you there.” Ronald tapped his chin with his finger. “You want a more interesting challenge, right? There’s a guy who trains Dragon Pokémon that could fit the bill.” “Really? Does he come to the Kantonian Gym often?” “I think so. Apparently he’s a musician also, so he does shows in there, too!” A Dragon trainer that was also a musician? Grimsley recalled one trainer that fitted that description. The brow on his forehead shot up. No, it couldn’t be. “Hold up, you don’t mean…” “Hey! Is that you, Grimsley?” someone new said. When Grimsley turned around, his face fell. In front of him was a man in tight clothing, which showed off his bare chest. His wild hair was tied in a long ponytail, the bangs partially covering his face. He was carrying a guitar case, so he was definitely a musician. Grimsley’s suspicions were true. “It’s been a while, Ryuki,” Grimsley said as he got up, forcing himself to smile. Ryuki flashed him a grin. “You still in the Elite Four, dude? How’s little Iris doing?” “I am, and she’s doing fine.” Ronald stood up and gave them confused looks. “Wait, you guys know each other?” “In a sense,” Grimsley said. “He stayed in Unova for a while to train in the Village of Dragons.” “Elder Margot was awesome, really knows how to dig into dragons’ hearts,” Ryuki said. “Iris and Drayden were also stars in their own ways.” “Not only that, he had toured with the Virbank City Gym Leader, Roxie, for a while. I also saw him play in casinos a few times.” “That was while I tried to get my music going.” Ryuki turned to Grimsley, his grin widening. “You do know how to play your cards right.” Grimsley snorted. “I haven’t done any high risk wagers in a long while.” Even though he was in the Elite Four, Grimsley had gone to several world poker events to gain some extra money on the side. He had first met Ryuki in the Sinnoh region, in the Veilstone City Casino. The up-and-coming rockstar had only a dozen people in each showing, but then his popularity grew slowly. After Iris had become champion, she told Grimsley how Ryuki had been living in the Village of Dragons for some months and that surprised him. They visited there twice to meet him, but then after that Ryuki went on tour with Roxie and Grimsley hadn’t seen him since. “Oh wow, sounds like you guys went way back!” Ronald said, grinning. “We only talked a dozen times due to us knowing the same people,” Ryuki said as he faced back at Ronald. “Still, I have mad respect for him.” Grimsley hummed, and then he said, “Ronald told me that you go the Kantonian Gym now.” Ryuki nodded. “I came all the way here to spread my fame and check that Gym out. However, it isn’t a real Pokémon Gym.” “Hm? What do you mean by that?” “You know how the Gym in Vermillion City has trash cans and you have to find a switch?” Ryuki asked, and Grimsley nodded. “The Kantonian Gym is like that, but the trash cans don’t work.” “Were you disappointed when you found that out?” “I was at first, but I dig it the more I go there.” “I also mentioned to Grimsley how you’re a strong trainer that he should go up against!” Grimsley’s eyes grew wide, and then he frowned at Ronald. “You didn’t have to tell him that.” “Sorry, I didn’t think you would mind,” Ronald said with a sheepish chuckle. He rubbed the back of his neck. “You know, my babies have been bored from the last few battles we did.” Ryuki put his guitar case down and pointed his gloved finger at Grimsley. “A blazing battle with an Elite Four will wake them up again! Maybe they'll even get to see your Mega Absol on stage!” Ronald's face fell. He turned to Grimsley and asked, "Wait, you can do Mega Evolution?" Grimsley's heart almost skipped a beat, and his face tense. "I can, but haven't done so in a long time. I have my reasons." Ryuki gave a disappointing look at first, and then he smiled.. "I don't blame you. I'm a rocker down to my core, after all. If we battle, you don't have to use Mega Evolution.” Grimsley pondered over Ryuki’s suggestion for a moment. From what Iris had told him, Ryuki raised his Dragon Pokémon fairly well. Plus, he could use this opportunity as a warmup before going against Nanu. Now that offer was tempting. “Sounds like it could be fun. I accept your invitation.” “Oh, can I come and watch?” Ronald asked eagerly. “Sure, the more the merrier! Let my bandmates and I set up first." He faced Grimsley, giving him a toothy grin. "Meet me in the Kantonian Gym in an hour." He picked up his guitar case, and headed out of the gardens. “A battle in the Kantonian Gym, huh?” Ronald had his hands on his sides and grinned. “I can’t wait to see how that plays out!” “I wouldn’t put your expectations that high just yet.” Grimsley wasn’t as enthusiastic as Ronald over this, but was curious to see if Ryuki was what Iris made him up to be. Xxx After they had left Malie Gardens, Grimsley told Ronald that he had something to take care of and would meet him outside of the Kantonian Gym later. Ronald replied that he was fine with that, and they went separate ways. When Grimsley returned to Malie City, he got himself a room in the Pokémon Center. Today quite a few trainers, both young and old, were inside. Grimsley didn't pay attention to what they were doing and instead went straight to his room. Rooms in Pokémon Centers were as simple as they get. There was a queen sized bed with soft pillows and blankets, and a table with a computer next to it. Plain curtains hung above the windows. The hardwood floor occasionally made squeaking noises underneath Grimsley's feet. Grimsley went to his desk, grabbing his bag. He pulled out the Keystone and Absolite and set them aside, both sparkling against the sunlight. The Keystone was on a stickpin while the Absolite was tied to a golden chain. They were a gift from Colress a few years ago. He had found a few Mega Stones, including Roulette's, and Keystones during his trip in Kalos. After they had broken up, he hadn't done Mega Evolution in a while. There was a possibility he and Roulette might use it again. He grimaced at that thought and tore his gaze away from the stones. Grimsley took a step back, pulled out Roulette's pokéball, and released her. She stood still, her tail wagging, and barked. Giving her a sad smile, Grimsley scratched her chin. "Hello, Roulette. How are you feeling?" he asked, and Roulette let out another joyful bark. A sharp frown stretched across his face. Grimsley went to the table to get the Keystone and Absolite. When he returned to Roulette, he opened his palm to show her the stones. Roulette sniffed a few times and tilted her head. "Do you remember these? They're an Absolite and a Keystone, which are used to have you turn into Mega Absol. I agreed to a battle with someone who wanted to see you like that." Getting it now, Roulette took a few steps back and snarled. Grimsley closed his palm and rubbed his temple. "I know, I know, you usually don't like changing to your Mega form. I don't want to do this either, but we might have to. Not just against him, but perhaps Nanu also." Grimsley had heard Absol generally hated changing to their Mega form. That might have some truth to it as Roulette didn’t like how much it overwhelmed her after battles. She would also get angry whenever Colress wanted her to Mega Evolve, so most likely she associated him with that. Roulette still fixed her glare at him. He sighed, and then dropped on one knee and gripped onto her horn. "I promise, though, that I won't let you use Mega Evolution unless you want to. We got ourselves a deal?" Making a small cry, Roulette seemed to consider Grimsley's proposal. After several seconds, she barked happily and licked his face. Grimsley chuckled, patting her cheek. He put the necklace with the Absolite around her neck, and then he got up and attached the stickpin on his scarf. He frowned once more. He truly hoped he didn't have to resort to using Mega Evolution in today's battle. Xxx The Kantonian Gym was situated in the middle of Malie City. Like the city, the building was influenced by Kantonian and Johtonian architecture with yellow roofing. The Pokémon League logo was above the automatic doors, which led Grimsley to wonder if the higher ups from the international headquarters had approved this. The hours when it was open were written on the sign next to the entrance. Ronald was already here, waving and grinning at him. "Grimsley, over here!" he called out, and they went inside. Inside the Gym's first room the floors were yellow and several trash cans were lined up. Bright lights from the ceiling gave the whole area a sunlight hue. A dozen or so people were having Pokémon battles with one another. "Man oh man, so this is the Kantonian Gym, huh?" Grimsley had his hands on his sides, staring at his surroundings. “Didn’t Ryuki say that the trash cans don’t work?” "He did. I think they’re here for aesthetic reasons. Let's go check in with the receptionist." He and Ronald went up to the receptionist. She paused what she was doing on the computer and smiled at them. "Welcome to the Kantonian Gym! How may I help you?" she asked. Grimsley leaned closer to the desk. "Well, I was invited here by Ryuki Oshiri for a battle." "I'm just here to watch the match," Ronald added. Her smile widened. "Oh, you must be Grimsley! Leader Ryuki is in the next room. Also, the entry fee for adult males is $50." "$50?" Grimsley asked in shock. Entry fees in Unova's Gyms were less than half of that. This was as ridiculous as the battle fee back in the Battle Buffet. The receptionist hummed and nodded. "The prices here are different for adults and young trainers!" Grimsley furrowed his brow, and then he stared at Ronald who gave him a shrug. He rolled his eyes and paid the entry fee. They moved forward, passing by the trainers on the way. Once he and Ronald stepped into the next room, the atmosphere was different than the previous one. Two trainers, one with a Machamp and another with a Cinccino, were on the battlefield giving out commands. Ryuki was up on a small stage playing his guitar, the music booming loud from the speakers and making Grimsley’s skin vibrate. Dimmed-colored lights were flashing behind the musician like lasers. Half of the seats in the benches were already occupied, the audience cheering on the battle and the music. “Wow, looks like Ryuki has quite a few fans,” Ronald said. “You should’ve been to Roxie’s Gym in Virbank City. She often has big crowds going to her battles and concerts.” Even though this Gym was advertised to be similar to Vermilion Gym, Grimsley mused that this was more like the Virbank Gym. “Yeah, Berthy had mentioned the Virbank Gym was like that. I’m gonna go sit on the stands now, good luck!” He patted Grimsley's shoulder, and did just that. Grimsley stood where he was and watched the battle in front of him.The Machamp kept throwing his four fists at the Cinccino, but the Scarf Pokémon was able to dodge his every move. She used her fluffy tail to slam Machamp’s face, which made his head turn sideways for a second. “Retaliate with Cross Chop, Rio!” A middle-aged man in a karate robe ordered, which Grimsley assumed to be the Machamp’s trainer. The other trainer was a younger woman in a white dress and blonde hair tied in a ponytail, the Cinccino belonging to her. “Take the hit, Cece!” Rio crossed his arms, and then collided with Cece. The Cinccino screamed and fell on the floor, but she got herself back up. Her fur was dirty, and she was breathing hard. Rio gave her a smug look, but then his face softened and cheeks flushed. “Great, now for a Thunder Punch!” the Machamp’s trainer ordered. Unfortunately, Rio still stood there in a lovestruck daze. The trainer gritted his teeth. “Hey, why aren’t you moving!” The woman trainer grinned. “That Machamp’s been charmed now! Aqua Tail, let’s go!” Cece made a chirp-like noise and jumped. Her tail shined a blue coat and covered in torrential waters. She hit Rio’s chest, knocking the air out of him. “Finish it off with Iron Tail!” Cece’s tail glowed a metallic coat this time, and she struck Rio’s face. The Machamp crashed on the floor, not getting up. “And the winner of that battle is Lee!” Ryuki announced from the stands, and the crowd cheered. “You were amazing, Cece!” Lee praised. Cece jumped into her arms, and Lee giggled. After the other trainer returned his Pokemon, he went up to her and smiled. “You’re one tough lady there. That’s a good match.” “You’re not so bad yourself. And I agree.” She smiled back, and the two shook hands. "What a rock hard battle that is, ohhhh! Give it up for Lee and Bruce!" The crowd erupted into another rowdy cheer. Bruce and Lee, still holding her Cinccino, waved to the crowd goodbye, and they left the battlefield. When Ryuki noticed Grimsley, he grinned. "All right everyone, I have a special treat for you! Our next battle will be with yours truly and a special guest! Hailing from Unova and a member of that region's Elite Four, give it up for Grimsley!" The lights suddenly dimmed, and the spotlight aimed at Grimsley. He squinted and used his palm to shield himself from the brightness. Several people spoke softly amongst themselves; some recognized him as Grimsley from the Elite Four. The majority of the audience, though, cheered. Grimsley forced a smile and waved to the crowd. "So dude, liking Alola so far?" Grimsley grunted, closing his eyes. "Not bad, but I could always use a little more excitement." "I hear you loud and clear," Ryuki said, and Grimsley opened his eyes to see him grinning. He held two fingers up. "Two Pokémon each. How do you want this, single or double battle? ” "How about we let chance decide?” Grimsley pulled out his coin and flipped it a few times. “Heads for single, tails for double?” Ryuki raised a suspicious brow, but then his grin returned. “Once a gambler, always a gambler huh? Sure, I’ll play by your rules.” Grimsley tossed the coin, caught it, and opened his palm. “It’s tails. Double battle, then.” "Right on! Then let us get this party started!" Ryuki pulled two pokéballs from his belt and tossed them in the air, his Pokémon being released in a burst of light. His first Pokémon had blue-green fur, a mustache, and fluffy white wings. They stretched their long neck and yawned, shaking their mop of hair. Ryuki's second Pokémon was a Garchomp who flexed his arms, swissed his tail, and roared. On his neck was a cord with a small purple stone attached to it. A Garchompite. Grimsley swallowed hard upon that realization. He ran through his options inside his head. Grimsley wasn't sure if the fluffy dragon had a secondary type, but that shouldn't be too much trouble. He was more worried about the Mega Garchomp. Dice should be able to handle him, especially with Garchomp's quadruple weakness to ice. Even though Queen would be good backup, she wouldn't fare well with Garchomp's ground moves. His best bet would be Roulette’s speed and power. And her Mega form if it came to that. Grimsley released them. As usual, Dice pulled his shedded skin up and lifted his chin. Roulette threw her head back and howled, the Absolite around her neck shaking. Ryuki beamed. "So you're going with your Absol, after all." Ryuki lifted his guitar higher. "All right babies, it's showtime!" Ryuki pulled his guitar up and played like a musician in a metal rock band. Both of his Pokémon and even Dice were bobbing to the music. Roulette and Grimsley raised their brows and stared at the distracted Scrafty. “All right, Dice, that’s enough! Roulette, Shadow Claw at the white and green dragon on the left!” Roulette howled and rushed towards her opponent. When she reached them, purple vapors covered her right paw and formed a large claw. She swiped at the dragon… ...only for Shadow Claw to have no effect on them. The fluffy dragon yawned and shook their head. Roulette growled in frustration while Grimsley gave an impressed smile. “I must say, that’s the first time I’ve encountered a Dragon and Normal-type Pokemon.” “Right-o, dude! You’ve never encountered a Drampa before, so it’s an easy mistake to make. But yeah, Ghost moves are useless on my baby boy here.” The smile on Grimsley’s lips faded, and he narrowed his eyes. All right, he needed to be careful not to use Shadow Claw on the Drampa anymore. “Dice, hit hard at the Garchomp with Ice Punch! Roulette, go at the Drampa once more, but this time Bite him!” Grimsley’s Pokémon sprang into action. While running, Dice’s fist glowed blue and formed a cold mist. Roulette had her jaws wide open, ready to strike. “Belt out everything you got, Gleam!” Ryuki said, still playing his guitar. “Dirk, sneak up on the little guy coming at you!” Gleam inhaled and let out an ear-piercing scream. That made Dice and Roulette stop in their tracks, Roulette wincing and Dice covering his ears. Grimsley gritted his teeth and also covered his ears. He glanced to see half of the audience having the same reactions, the other half cheering on. While Dice was distracted, Dirk went behind him and crunched his arm. Dice screamed and tried to wiggle out of the Garchomp’s grip, but with little success. Dirk tossed him aside and let go, Dice hitting the floor hard. Dice got up quickly, shook his fist, and glared at him. “Nice work, babies! Follow that up with Poison Jab, Dirk! And you Gleam, let’s fire up the crowd even more!” “Try punching him once more, Dice! Roulette, get at Drampa hard and fast!” Both Dirk and Dice rushed at each other and their fists glowed, purple and light blue respectively. When they collided, their fists pushing against each other. Eventually Dice pushed through and punched the fin on Dirk’s arm, freezing part of it. Dirk screamed and shook his arm, trying to get rid of the ice shards forming there. Dice pulled his shredded skin, grinning. While that was happening, Roulette howled and jolted forward like a beam of light. Gleam inhaled once more and flames started forming around his jaws, only for Roulette to ram onto him and cause him to tumble backwards. Roulette took several steps back, carefully watching him. “Good work you, two,” Grimsley said in satisfaction. “Roulette, focus on the Garchomp! Dice, you go for the Drampa and use Zen Headbutt!” Grimsley’s Pokémon did as they were told. The horn on Roulette’s forehead turned purple, and she bolted towards Dirk. As Dice rushed towards Gleam, his own forehead glowed a soft pink. “All right Dirk, time to get your claws dirty! Gleam, let’s go for a different kind of firepower!” Dirk crossed his arms together, and green flames formed on his two claws. As soon as Roulette reached him, he blocked her assault and pushed her some steps back. They exchanged several blows at one another, but eventually Dirk’s claw sliced at Roulette’s face and she fell down. Roulette picked herself up and glared at him, gritting her teeth. Before Dice could reach Gleam, the dragon sucked in a deep breath and let out a dragon-shaped multicolored beam straight at him. Dice screamed, green and purple flames engulfing him for a few seconds. After the flames faded, burnt marks were shown on Dice’s wrists and knees. Still energized, Dice’s forehead shone once more and he headbutted below Gleam’s chin. Gleam stared at the ceiling for a moment, as if dazed, before shaking his head. Ryuki pressed his lips and glared. His music went on a faster and aggressive pace. “Spread your wings and fly, Gleam! And Dirk, let’s shake things up now, shall we?” The audience cheered wildly upon him saying that. Grimsley had an idea what Ryuki wanted his Garchomp to do, so he yelled out his next command. “Both of you jump and attack from the air!” Ryuki’s Pokémon acted first, Gleam flapping his wings and taking to the air and Dirk slamming his fins on the floor. Grimsley stared up, dumbfounded; that Drampa could actually fly? He just learned another trivia of that Pokemon. As the earth began to shake, both Dice and Roulette jumped in time while Grimsley wobbled and almost lost his footing. Dice stretched his right leg and dived down at Dirk, kicking his face and making his head moved sideways. Roulette reached Gleam and had her horn slash his neck, leaving a deep cut there. Roulette’s Super Luck ability, Grimsley mused to himself with a small smile. Makes critical hits deadlier. Grimsley’s Pokémon landed on the floor first, and then Gleam shortly after. Dice and Roulette stood by and watched while the Drampa grunted and thrashed his head around. Grimsley raised his brow, thinking he was just moving to Ryuki’s music. That was, until he noticed Gleam’s eyes glowing red. The Drampa threw his head back and roared, causing Dice and Roulette to cautiously step back. The air inside turned cold dramatically and a snowstorm blew over. Grimsley gritted his teeth and tugged at his scarf tighter while his Pokémon closed their eyes and braced themselves. “Oh my, you just activated Gleam’s Berserk ability. You don’t want to see his bad side.” Ryuki then said, “I think that’s enough of a warm up there, Dirk. Time to really rock this joint!” Ryuki pulled up his guitar, a small keystone attached to it that gleamed in the spotlight. He touched the keystone with his finger, and both the keystone and Dirk’s Mega Stone shined brightly with multi-colored sparks. Dirk roared and was engulfed in golden light. Everyone stopped cheering and watched with bated breath. Grimsley shield himself from the brightness, and when the light faded his throat turned dry. Dirk’s shoulders grew bulkier and more spikes formed around his chest. His fins changed into large scythes, and his face had a more angular shape. Dirk stretched his new arms up and roared. The audience erupted into a joyous uproar. Roulette and Dice were taken aback by Dirk’s new appearance, and then they went back to their battle stances. Ryuki lifted his chin, grinning. “Say hello to Dirk’s Mega form. Pretty metal, huh?” Seeing the Mega Garchomp before him, Grimsley had vividly recalled the conversation he and Colress had over Mega Evolution. The secrets on using that power. “The four secrets of Mega Evolution?”
“Yes! During my time in Kalos, I went to the Tower of Mastery in Shalour City and had a lovely discussion with the gym leader Korrina and her grandfather. They gave me some great insight on ways Mega Evolution brings out a Pokemon’s full potential!”
“Really? Well, I’m now intrigued.”
“I thought you would! Ahem, now the first secret of Mega Evolution. Both the trainer and Pokémon must have a bond. Having that bond ensures a stable mental connection between both parties.”Back in the present, Grimsley grunted, his forehead knitting in a furrow. He had heard how awfully powerful Mega Garchomp could be. Not only that, Ryuki’s Drampa was still on the battlefield. He needed to take down Gleam first and perhaps get some physical damage on Dirk while he was at it. “Roulette, Aerial Ace at Dirk!” Grimsley said, thrusting his arm out. He first pointed at Dirk and then Gleam. “Dice, throw a punch at Gleam!” After giving an affirmed bark, Roulette howled and accelerated towards Dirk in lighting speed. She rammed onto him, which caused him to stumble halfway and shriek. Dirk recovered quickly though, and there was barely a scratch on him. Seeing how she didn’t succeed, Roulette glared and snarled. Over the other half of the battle, Dice kept throwing punches at Gleam. The Drampa was able to dodge them easily due to his slender neck, but luckily Dice landed a blow below his chin. Gleam screamed and several ice shards were stuck on his beard, which he was then able to shake easily. “Yo Gleam! Looks like the crowd wants an encore!” Liked before, Gleam inhaled and let out an ear-piercing scream that made Grimsley and his Pokémon winced. This time, the Drampa kept thrashing his head and his eyes glowed red, which Grimsley assumed was the Berserk ability being activated again. Roulette barked continuously and shook her head while Dice dropped on the floor and rolled around; they seemed to be in much more pain than last time. That Pokémon definitely needed to go. “You two, we need to take down Gleam now!” Despite the various noises in the room, Roulette and Dice were able to snap out of Gleam’s Hyper Voice and rushed towards him. Once Roulette’s scythe glowed, she sliced Gleam’s side and left an even deeper cut than before. While Gleam roared in pain and bobbed his head wildly, Dice pulled up his shredded skin and leapt up. As he was diving down, Dice kicked the Drampa hard on the face and had him fall backwards. When Gleam didn’t get up, Roulette and Dice exchanged each other grins, the Scrafty giving a thumbs up. The audience went silent for several seconds, and then gave out genuine, excited cheers. Ryuki stopped playing the guitar and stared, but then he smirked. Grimsley sighed in relief, but then he frowned when he realized his Pokémon still needed to deal with Dirk. “Not surprising that you’re this good, pal.” Ryuki chuckled through the microphone and returned his Pokémon. “However, Dirk and I will keep on rocking!” He resumed playing his guitar again and screamed, “Get your claws out once more, ooooh!” “You guys do the same!” Grimsley said. Dirk stretched his head upwards and green flames formed on his scythes. Roulette and Dice let out their claws too, dark purple and green flames respectively. They collided with Dirk, who was able to block off their attacks but still needed to divide his attention between the two. Each time Roulette and Dice’s claws met with Dirk’s, sparks flew like when Grimsley and Molayne’s Bisharp had battled. After a while, Dice tried to aim for Dirk’s face and missed, giving the opportunity for the Garchomp to slice his back. Dice screamed in pain and crashed onto the floor. While Dice moaned and struggled to get up, Dirk approached him and lifted his scythe above him. When Roulette saw that, she howled and had her jaws open. She attempted to bite Dirk, but he slammed her with his arm and pushed her aside. Dice barely got up, but he winced and dropped on one knee. A grin pulled on Dirk’s face, his teeth showing, and he swiped Dice across the face. A deep claw mark was shown on his face, and Dice collapsed and didn’t get up. Both Grimsley and Roulette’s face fell. Everyone in the stands cheered, and half the audience jumped up and applauded. “You did wonderful Dice, you deserved a rest,” he said with a sad smile, returning him back inside his pokéball. He turned his attention to Ryuki and Dirk, the two having their chests rising and taking deep breaths. The musician flashed him a grin and pointed a finger at him. “And now we’re down to one Pokémon each,” Ryuki said, still panting and his voice raspy. “Can you and your Absol hold on a while longer?” To the audience, it looked like he was running out of energy after playing hard on his guitar. Grimsley knew though that wasn’t the case. Colress’s voice echoed inside his head once more. “The second secret of Mega Evolution! Both the trainer and Pokemon's hearts and souls must be in sync. You give half of yourself and your Pokémon the other half.”Rykui and Dirk had shared each other’s hearts and souls when they did their Mega Evolution. They would be exhausted after this battle was over, but Grimsley was still at a disadvantage. Unless... Grimsley flinched when Roulette barked several times. She shook her fur, the Absolite on her neck dangling. Their gazes met, and Grimsley’s heart jumped in his throat. “Are you sure?” he asked in a low voice. Roulette lifted her head and barked. Grimsley regarded her a moment, and then he grinned. “All right, let’s do this!” Grimsley touched the keystone, which was attached to his scarf, and both it and the Absolite sparkled. Roulette was bathed in golden light, and her appearance changed. The back of her fur stood out on end, as if she had wings. More fur bristled on her legs, and the spikes on her heels and elbows also grew. Her horn thickened and widened, and another smaller horn popped out as well. Roulette tossed her head and let out her loudest howl since this battle. The audience stopped in stunned silence upon Roulette's Mega form being shown, and then they erupted into wild cheers, like they did with Dirk's Mega form. A wide grin pulled on Ryuki's face, and he gave out a throaty laugh. “Having a change of heart, huh?” “Roulette wants to make this bet even,” Grimsley said, and Roulette barked in agreement. "Your Absol is quite the rocker, then!" Rykui resumed playing his guitar. "Dirk, Earthquake once more! "Jump, and then bite him!" Dirk threw his head, roared, and slammed on the floor. The earth shook once more, Grimsley slightly losing his balance. Roulette jumped up, giving the illusion of flying, and then she dived down with her jaws open. Roulette sunk her teeth onto Dirk's arm, which he used to block her from his face. He shook her off, and Roulette landed on all fours and glared. As Grimsley contemplated Roulette's next move, he found himself hearing Colress's voice in his head again. “The third secret of Mega Evolution! Both the trainer and Pokémon must use it only temporarily. Using it more than necessary could cause great harm to both trainer and Pokemon.”Mega Evolution was a power used for a short period of time. If you overstayed your welcome, then there would be consequences. Both his and Ryuki's Pokémon were at risk. He needed to get this battle wrapped up soon. "Aerial Ace, but from above!" Grimsley said, pointing to the ceiling. Roulette jumped, or "flew" rather, once more, and in a blink of an eye crashed down on Dirk. The bulkier Garchomp screamed and fell on the ground. Several seconds passed, and Dirk rose up with a snarl. Grimsley bit his lips and clenched his fist. That Aerial Ace hit much harder than last time, but it was still not enough. "Don't think you'll crack Dirk's shell that easily!" Ryuki said. "Give that Absol a taste of your poison!" "Shadow Claw, go!" Dirk's scythe lit up purple, and dark vapors formed around Roulette's leg. They collided and exchanged rapid blows at each other. The crowd became immersed with the fierce dance between the two Mega Pokemon. Even Ryuki couldn’t tear his gaze off of that spectacle. While their battle continued, Colress's voice echoed through Grimsley's head one last time. “Now the final secret of Mega Evolution! Most importantly, the trainer and Pokémon must put their trust in one another. If one has doubts on the other, then their bond and souls aren't strong enough yet for Mega Evolution.”Grimsley knew he and Roulette had a strong bond and he trusted her in handling herself like when she went against the Totem Pokemon, Mimikins. They still had a long way to go in dealing with Dirk, though. After several more blows between the two, Roulette managed to scratch Dirk's chest and left three deep claw marks there. Dirk retaliated by jabbing her throat, which caused her to whine and fall down. She rose back up, but she panted hard and her legs shook. Grimsley took deep breaths, sweat drenching on his forehead. He grew tired himself from having shared his energy with Roulette, and he wasn't sure how much longer they would last. Ryuki grinned, showing off his teeth. "Looks like the Absol here is burned out. Time to close the show!" "Don't let him get away with that!" Despite being exhausted, Roulette's horn shined and she swiped Dirk's chest, leaving another scar there. Dirk screeched and crunched her wing-like fur. Roulette howled in pain, struggling to let go of Dirk's grip, and she was tossed up in the air. After she smashed into the ceiling, Roulette crashed down hard and collapsed. She changed back to her normal self. Dirk raised his arms and roared, celebrating his victory. The crowd rose from their seats, cheering. Grimsley dropped on his knees and tried to regain his breath. He was drained from not doing Mega Evolution in a long while. When he noticed Roulette still lying on the ground, he rushed to her side and pulled her head to his lap. He pushed a strain of fur away from her eyes. “Roulette, are you all right?” he asked, gazing down at her worryingly. A few seconds passed until she opened her eyes and made a sound. Grimsley gave a soft chuckle and stroked her forehead. “You did splendidly out there. Take a nice long rest.” After Grimsley returned Roulette and got up, Ryuki jumped off from the stage and approached him. His Garchomp was behind him, not in his Mega form anymore. “That is some blazing performance you put out there. Everyone, give it up for Grimsley!” Everyone on the stands rose up once more and did a standing ovation. Grimsley couldn’t help but feel a mixture of sadness and pride. Another loss here. This was more disappointing than his loss with Kahili, but that was fine. Every battle had a winner and a loser, and right now this was Ryuki’s time to shine. Grimsley would have his chance again soon. “Thank you. You know how to work the crowd yourself.” He and Ryuki shook hands. “If you’ll be in Alola a while longer, I don’t mind doing another gig with you!” Ryuki turned to the crowd and clapped his hands. “That’s it for today’s show, but I’ll come back tomorrow as always!” As Ryuki and his Garchomp made their leave, the audience cheered one last time before getting up themselves. Ronald got down to the battlefield and reached Grimsley, grinning at him. “The way you handled Mega Evolution was amazing!” Ronald gave him a worried look. “Are you okay? You look pretty tired.” “I’m fine, no need to worry,” Grimsley said, making a dismissive hand wave. “All right, if you say so. Will you use it when you battle Nanu, also?” Grimsley flinched, and he stared down at the keystone on his scarf. While he did say to Roulette that was a possibility, he wasn’t comfortable having her do Mega Evolution again for some time. He didn’t need to decide now. “I’ll worry about that once I get him to battle me.” “Fair enough.” Ronald gave him a wide grin. “I need to head back home, but it’s great seeing you again! And good luck getting a battle with Nanu!” Ronald said, and that made Grimsley give out an amused grunt. “I’ll need more than luck for that, but your well wishes are appreciated. It’s a pleasure talking with you also.” He and Ronald shook hands, and then the older man waved to him goodbye and left the gym. Grimsley still stayed where he was, rubbing his chin. Roulette needed to be taken to the Pokémon Center, and he needed some rest himself. After that-- “Think it’s finally time for me to see Nanu again,” he muttered to himself. He had been putting off visiting Nanu too long. The kahuna wouldn’t be happy to see him, and Grimsley wasn’t sure if he was ready to battle him yet, but there were still some questions he wanted to ask him. Author's Note:Hi there! So a quick announcement, I FINALLY fixed grammar edits on Chapter 7 and 8! Also for Ch 8 I went and extended Grimsley and Kukui's beginning scenes where I have the two discuss why they couldn't just fly over to the mountains. I'll get to Chapter 9 and 10's edits soon. Originally this chapter I was going to have Grimsley meet with Ronald and another Nanu scene. Plans sorta changed though when my beta pointed out the "Grimsley wants to do some training" line at the end of Chapter 10. Andddd this is the end result! So what you guys think of the battle and the twists? The idea of Ryuki training in Unova I kinda got the idea from the anime where his team were Unova dragons. I wasn't able to add this in the narrative, but Ryuki came from a group of Sinnoh Dragon Tamers and how he got his Garchompite. Next chapter will be Nanu centric. It's quite short, so I should have it posted before the end of this month! Chapter 13 is then we'll get Nanu and Grimsley meet again, woo! Thanks to bobandbill for betaing as always!
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girl-like-substance
the seal will bite you if you give him half a chance
Posts: 527
Pronouns: xe/xem
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Post by girl-like-substance on Jun 13, 2019 22:42:35 GMT
This is clearly the fic where all the tiny characters get a chance to shine, huh. Ryuki is someone who I have literally never met in-game, and who I never knew existed till I looked at all the various people who can challenge you for the Championship, haha. For someone with such a tiny role to play, and who it's possible to go multiple times through the game without ever seeing, he sure does have a complex design. Putting him here is kinda cool; he's honestly a bit wasted on a single postgame battle. He certainly has that crucial sense of spectacle that marks out professional trainers, doesn't he? Standing there belting out guitar riffs and singing half his commands. :P And, well, when Grimsley says he wants to train, he means it, huh. Most of this chapter is one long, intense fight scene; it goes back and forth several times, so that you never quite know who's going to win until the end, when Dirk manages to seize the advantage and whip Roulette into the ceiling – in other words, the best kind of battle. :> I like that it's the unfamiliar foe that Grimsley manages to deal with, rather than the one he knows well; it looks like he's learned his lesson from Kahili, and is treating pokémon he doesn't know with a certain circumspection. I really like how you handle mega evolution, too – the long, considered introduction of the possibility beforehand; Grimsley's extreme reluctance to subject his pokémon to something that is canonically kinda bad for them (and how that's tied up in his complicated feelings about Colress, too); the fact that it's Roulette, in the end, who decides to use it, and Grimsley who spends the whole time worrying about what it might be doing to her. We've seen before now what kind of a relationship he has with his pokémon, and the depth and kindness of that relationship is definitely visible here. Also, I have to say, I like how Grimsley has a tasteful pin for his key stone. Lots of trainers have, y'know, giant flashy jewellery or whatever, but obviously he of all people brings a touch of class to the whole thing, haha. Oh, and one other thing: I thought the way Grimsley conveniently forgot the name of the relevant town in Galar was an elegant little evasion, lol. Here's a people-writing-about-Galar-but-without-anywhere-near-enough-information high five! 8D Anyway! Thoroughly enjoyed this one, and I'm looking forward to catching up with Nanu and seeing him and Grimsley meet up again later on, too.
That should be 'spat', not 'spitted' – 'spitted' is the past tense of the kind of spit where you skewer something to be roasted above a fire, rather than the kind where you spit something out of your mouth.
I feel like 'having' isn't quite the right word here – 'coating' or 'cloaking' would make more sense to me; there needs to be a verb that describes the fact that she's surrounding her paw with the vapour. Also, side note, but Raz is best cat. :>
That should be 'play', not 'played'.
There's an 'out' missing between 'pulled' and 'Roulette's' here.
I just love this line. The Vermilion Gym makes so little sense when you describe it in in-universe terms like this, and I swear there's like this hint of exasperation in the way Grimsley delivers this. I think they're here for [tiny pause] aesthetic reasons. Love it! :>
That 'for' shouldn't be here – you 'pay for' things, but you just 'pay' fees. Man, English is weird sometimes.
I feel like there's a 'with' missing after 'shined' and a 'became' missing before 'covered' here. Or something along those lines.
That should either be 'the winner of that battle is Lee' or something like 'victory goes to Lee'; the two seem to have become fused here.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the other trainer's name Bruce in the next sentence?
There should be an 'a' between 'and' and 'member' here.
'Only' shouldn't be capitalised here (because it's kinda part of the preceding sentence still, even if the ellipses and the line break suggest otherwise) and that should be 'effect' with an E.
This one seems a bit of an odd metaphor to me – in a tug of war, people pull away from one another; in this situation, the two are pushing against each other.
This doesn't quite work – either she should jolt forward at the speed of light, or like a beam of light, I guess. Comparing her movement directly to 'a speed of light' doesn't mean much to the reader, because the speed of light isn't an object and so doesn't jolt forward in a way that can be compared to the way Roulette moves here, if that makes sense.
That looks like a typo for 'thrashing' to me. Also, can I say, this is a very cool interpretation of Berserk! :>
'Overstay' needs to match the tense elsewhere, so it should be 'overstayed'.
Missing an 'up' after 'lit' here.
I feel like that should be 'with', rather than 'at'.
Unless Roulette is actually literally breaking the ceiling – which I guess she might be! – that should be 'smashed into', rather than just 'smashed'. I wasn't sure, so I thought I'd point it out. So yes! Really nice work here – sure, it's nice to have those intricate chapters where everything fits together really elegantly, but it's also very nice to just have a cool set piece battle, and this chapter definitely delivers on that front. I'll be waiting for the next one, as ever!
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Post by sikesaner on Jun 15, 2019 4:50:20 GMT
Eyes on the "road", nerd bird! :p He should go to Sinnoh. Scarves are more appreciated there. :B Somehow I always forget that dual chop is a dragon move. Picturing it with that green glow might help me remember a little better from here on out! That poor scarf just can't seem to catch a break. :p FABA. :D Happy to see him. Kind of casts the "is this your first time coming here" question in a morbid new light, doesn't it. Of course it was their first--for it would also be their last. I bet they did this face at him. Maybe for the better that he doesn't, in case they were to accidentally piss her off, heh. Returning to the subject of gen 7 things I still haven't memorized for some reason: I pretty much always only remember oh yeah, he has a zorothing when I use a move on one of his pokémon and whoops, it doesn't go as well as I'd hoped. And I've played through Alola four times now, so... yeah. XD; JESTER PLS I think I'd dig it straight away, personally speaking. Eff those trash switches. XP Lots of sweet battles these past few chapters! I'd rate the vs. Ryuki one as my favorite, partly because of the way the flashback involving Colress and mega evolution was woven in, and partly because there was a drampa and those things are honestly kind of badass. :D
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Post by bay on Jun 23, 2019 1:38:12 GMT
Replies to Eldestoyster and Sike Saner's comments under spoiler tags! eldestoyster: I haven't stumble upon Ryuki yet in either Moon or Ultra Sun, though I've only gone through the Title Defense and Kantonian Gym battles a few times. I drew more inspiration from his anime counterpart since he did just that in a recent episode haha. But yeah, he was fun to write!
Glad you enjoyed the battle! When I was choreographing the actions I wasn't sure how it would go myself! Yeah like Grimsley kinda knows Ryuki through Iris and others, but is not familar with his battle style. He's learning how tough Alolan Pokemon can be the hard way haha.
Also happy to hear how I handled Mega Evolution! Originally I wasn't going to showcase Mega Evolution until much later, but I then want to have it be more important than initially planned so I did a bit of a set up here.
To be honest, Grimsley stole the stickpin idea from Steven Stone. He tries to outclass him. = P
Lmao, the time I wrote this draft it was shortly after Sword and Shield were revealed. Luckily we have a bit more info since this month, but there's still so much we don't know yet.
Thanks for the grammar check as always. I was actually able to catch up and did the grammar edits, huzzah!
Sike Saner: Hi! So I won't go over all of your comments, but I just want you to know I appreciate your commentary as always!
Dual Claw I based it from the anime. With Garchomp at least their claws glowed green, so I went the same with Molayne's Bisharp there!
Ah yes, Faba. I'll be honest, he won't have much of a role here, but he's fun in other fics I've read featuring him!
Yeah those poor Minior. =<
Yes, that's the face, hahaha.
I was taken aback when US/UM had him use a Zorua/Zoroark. But yeah, I have some plans for Jester! He just needs to just stop being bored. =PC
Glad to hear you thought the flashbacks with Colress worked well! And Drampa was very fun to write! Chapter Twelve Feint AttackUla’ula Meadows was one of the few areas on this island that Nanu thought was beautiful. The red flowers that bloomed all year round swayed with the breeze. A cool mist rolled in, thin enough for him to see clearly. The Baile-style Oricorio danced and sang in the mornings, attracting the attention of anyone passing by. There were two paths ahead: one towards Po Town and Route 17; the other towards Lake of the Moone, where the mist came from. He and Persian were patrolling the area, using the wooden boardwalk that had been built above the grass. A few Oricorio drank the nectar from the flowers. Two Team Skull kids were having a conversation. They noticed him for a second, only to then ignore him. One woman was near the pond with her Floette, the two of them practicing a dance. Persian approached one of the flowers and sniffed it. “You like the flowers, don’t you girl?” he asked, and Persian responded with a cheerful meow. Nanu grunted and looked back at his surroundings. His stomach dropped when he saw someone else here. A purple-haired woman with glasses stood in front of several Pokémon: two Oricorio, a Petilil, and a Ribombee. She wore a pink and white dress that showed off her curves well and high heeled boots that made him wonder how she got used to walking in them. "Oh my, are all of you looking good today! Especially you, little one!" She picked up the Petili, who giggled and waved her arms. To the public, she was known as Aether’s Assistant Chief Wicke Santana. To him, she was-- "Charlotte?" "Triples!" Charlotte put the Petili down and gave him a tight hug. Nanu was taken aback by it, but nonetheless, he returned the embrace back. After they separated, Persian approached Charlotte and rubbed against her hip. She grinned and hugged around her neck. “And you, Persian! You’ve grown so big!” she cooed, nuzzling on Persian’s cheek. "I take it Professor Burnet had given you my message?" he asked. Charlotte let go of Persian and nodded. "I did! I'm already aware that Anabel and Looker are on Poni Island. I came here as there are a few things I want to talk to you about." Nanu glanced around to see the Team Skull kids and the woman with her Pokémon still here. This wasn't the perfect place to talk about important manners with her. "We can do that while going to the police station." They began walking to the police station, with Persian following them. The Pokémon that Charlotte checked up on earlier went their separate ways. "So, how's becoming Kahuna going for you?" "Tiring. I only make myself go through the desert a few times a year. Trying to avoid big crowds as much as possible." Charlotte gave him a concerned look. "Sounds like you're not happy with your job. Couldn't you just retire?" "I can't. I'm at the mercy of Tapu Bulu until either I die or do something horrendous. I'm still working on the latter." "You're one of the better Interpol agents. I doubt you're capable of doing that." Nanu snorted and threw his head back. "Maybe I'll surprise you. How about you? Aether still have you dress like you're going for Wild Lopunny Magazine: Secretary Edition?" Charlotte jabbed her elbow onto his stomach and he winced. "I'm still undercover, Triples. Besides that, I'm not doing great at the moment." "Because of that Aether press conference, right?" "Yes. When Madame Lusamine told me and Chief Faba that she was going to broadcast it, I asked if that was a good idea. She said this is for the public's safety, and I went along with it." "Interpol must be outraged that the Ultra Beasts have been mentioned out in the open. Are they planning to do anything about them?" "Probably what they've been doing for the last several years. Kill or have them used as experiments. I'm sure they'll have Anabel come closer to them." They stopped, and Nanu ran a finger through his hair. "Shit. If I hadn’t retired, I probably could've prevented all of that." "I don't blame you for leaving. Unfortunately, there's not much we can do at this time." Nanu regarded her for a moment. With narrowed eyes, he stared down on the ground. "I hated Director Clarkson and the higher ups’ guts ever since that incident." "As do I. They can be ungrateful devils at times." She and Nanu resumed walking. "Did Anabel and Looker mention anything else when they visited you?" "They told me about the Ultra Recon Squad and the scientist working with them. Interpol's also keeping an eye on Gladion and his Pokémon." Charlotte nodded and hummed. "The scientist, Dr. Colress Antimony, is with them under Interpol's suggestion. As for Master Gladion, that's indeed what is going on." She shifted her gaze away for a second. "How is he doing by the way?" Nanu raised a brow. "Hm? Why do you ask?" "I get along well with the president’s children, so I’m worried about the family overall." After a beat, he said, “Not so good, I think. He’s worried about the president going down the same path as his father." Charlotte gasped, and she frowned. "I know what you're talking about. That caused a great deal of grief for Madame Lusamine.” "Do you plan to tell the president and her kids about your true purpose with Aether?" With narrowed eyes, Charlotte lowered her head and clasped her hands together. "I don’t know yet. I would be breaking my cover, and they might take things the wrong way. However, I feel bad for lying to them and they deserve the truth.” “I don’t blame you for being unsure yet.” He stared up at the sky, hands on the pocket. “I trust that you’ll make the right call.” The two remained silent until they reached the police station and stepped inside. As expected, half of the Meowth rushed over to him and Charlotte, asking for food. "Just give me a minute, all right?" he told them. One of the Meowth gripped his leg with his claws, but he endured the pain. Persian grabbed that Meowth’s neck with her mouth and took him away. "Oh my! I know you're a fan of these dark-type felines, but not this much!" Charlotte picked up one of them up. The Meowth rubbed his cheek against hers, and she giggled. "You wanna adopt one of them?" he asked while pouring food into their bowls. "You'll be doing me a huge favor." "I appreciate the offer, but I already have my hands full in Aether Paradise. Also, you’re still as disorganized as ever." Charlotte sat down on the couch, the Meowth still inside her arms. After Nanu finished filling the Meowth's bowls, he went to his desk. The little felines and Persian rushed to their bowls and munched on their food. "Hey, cut me some slack. I got kahuna duties as well as being an officer here." He pulled out his kendama from the drawer and started playing with it. "Anything else you want to tell me?" "Well, it's more of a request," Charlotte said while scratching the Meowth's chin. "Request?" "Aether's been keeping an eye on Team Skull due to them stealing Pokémon on occasion. However, recently their leader came to headquarters as a guest, and I pretended to be a good host." That caused Nanu to stop playing his kendama and sit up straight. "Leader? You don't mean Guzma, do you?" "After they were alone, I eavesdropped on their conversation through a tiny microphone I had left in the room." Charlotte had put the Meowth down and got up. She approached and stood in front of Nanu's desk. "She apparently has been giving him money to find a Pokémon for her." "Wait, Anabel and Looker asked me about Team Skull the night they gave me your postcard. Why they didn't tell me any of this?" "That didn't happen until a couple of days after the wormhole incident." She had her elbow on the desk, her palm covering her chin. "On my next scheduled visit to Ula'ula Island, I knew I have to inform you about this." Already Nanu knew what she was asking him for. "You want me to track down any paper trails to double confirm that all of this is true." "Right. I could do it myself, but this type of investigation isn't my specialty. That, and you're closest to Team Skull." As they stared into each other's eyes, Nanu pondered over Charlotte's request. For a while he had his suspicions on Aether, but couldn't pinpoint exactly why. This could be an opportunity for him. "All right, I'll see what I can do. If I find anything, I'll let Anabel and Looker know." "Thank you so much, Triples!" She grinned and wrapped her arms around him, a little too tight for his liking. "Hey, you're squeezing me there!" Nanu said, and that made Charlotte let go. “Sorry, got too excited there!” Charlotte giggled, and then her gaze fell on the photo Nanu had left on the desk. “Oh! Isn’t that the picture I took of you, Sana, and Looker?” Nanu lifted a brow, and then his face softened. “Yeah, it is. Surprised that I’ve still kept it all this time?” “You mentioned you didn’t like to take pictures, so maybe a little!” Charlotte picked up the photo and her cheerful expression disappeared. “I still miss her very deeply.” Nanu swallowed hard. He remembered her mourning over Sana's death for a while, not speaking with anyone and staying inside her lab for days. After some convincing from him and Looker, she resolved to preserve the data Sana had kept and continue where she had left off. "I should've stopped her. Told her that Interpol was using her as bait, and have her run away." "What happened to her was neither your or Looker's fault." She gave him a forced but reassuring smile, and her hand squeezed Nanu’s. "She would've done it anyway, with or without Interpol asking her." Nanu gazed down with a frown. "Of course." Throughout Sana's time in Interpol, the higher-ups had worked her up to the bone but she still persisted. Her ultimate goal was to better understand the UBs, and he had admired her for that. That made her death even more heartbreaking. “I need to head back to the Aether Facility near here,” Charlotte said as she let go of his hand. “Before I do though, I have something to show you.” She put the picture down and pulled out a journal from her bag, handing it to him. Nanu blinked, the hardcover cold in his hands. “Sana’s journal? How come?” “I think you’ll benefit from reading it.” Charlotte winked and gave him a playful smile. “I’m only letting you borrow it for a bit, so I’ll need it back the next time we meet!” “Yeah, I’ll make sure to do that.” Nanu put the journal aside and got up from his seat. He and Charlotte did a quick embrace. “I’ll be in touch!” Charlotte scratched Persian’s chin one last time, waved to Nanu goodbye, and left the police station. As Nanu stood and stared at the door, Persian gave a sad growl and rubbed against his leg. He gazed down and patted her forehead. “Don’t worry, I think we’ll see her again very soon.” Looking back at his desk, Nanu pressed his lips. “Let’s see what Sana had been up to.” He sat back down on his desk and opened the first page. Sana’s handwriting was a little sloppier than Charlotte’s but was still more legible than any of his former superiors. She wrote how she couldn’t remember much after being taken in by Interpol, so she started this journal to keep track of her memories. Nanu turned the page to another entry. June 11th
The chief wanted to do practice drills with Jackie and me again. As usual, his Persian kicked our butts and he lectured me on taking battles more seriously. I am! It’s just that I’m more of a scientist than a Pokémon trainer. I asked if those drills are necessary, and 000 said that soon I’ll be dealing with more dangerous cases than the ones we had done.
After those practice drills, Charlotte and I went out for drinks. I told her how much of a hardass 000 was, and she said that I would get used to that. She then told me about her time in Kanto and how much it helped her towards her path in becoming a Pokémon biologist.
I’ve only known her for about a month, but I’m already madly crushing on her. Like, big time. I don’t know if she has the same feelings or is just being very nice. I would be upset if it’s the latter. An amused smile pulled on Nanu’s lips. He could tell that Sana and Charlotte fell for each other, and when the two ended up together they teamed up to annoy and tease him. Two peas in a pod. He turned to another page and continued reading the journal throughout the afternoon. After going over several entries, his eyes grew heavy and he fell asleep on his desk. Xxx Nanu wasn't sure where he was. A thick fog rolled in like black clouds before a rainstorm. The saltwater breeze mixed with smoke filled his lungs. He almost couldn't see anything, but there were people screaming and crying in the distance.
He raced forward, following those voices. The farther he went, the more his chest burned and legs ached. The fog partially cleared, and he was at a beach. The sight before him made his stomach sink.
A large crowd was running away from the jellyfish-like creatures, Symbiont. The small Ultra Beasts kept chasing them, some grabbing and sucking on the people's heads. Sana and Jackie, her Mightyena, fought off several of them, her Pokémon firing beams of dark energy straight at them.
"Sana! Sana!" Nanu kept calling her, but she and Jackie didn't turn around. The people's screams grew louder, and the Symbiont got more restless.
Nanu hurried to her, but then was blocked by four Symbiont. He grunted and yelled, "Move it, or else!" That led the Ultra Beasts to screech and grab his arms with their wet and slimy tentacles. Nanu grimaced and struggled to get out, their grip getting tighter by the second.
"Man oh man, what is going on here?" A man in a kimono walked passed the screaming crowd, grinning at him.
"Grimsley? What are you doing here?" Nanu asked, eyes growing wide.
"I've been told Alola is a great holiday destination. However, everything's been deary so far."
"Everything's deary because we're being attacked by these things! Now, you're gonna help me or what?"
Grimsley's expression changed from bored to a smirk. "I'll let my coin decide. Heads or tails?"
Nanu furrowed his brow. He glanced to see Sana and Jackie still fighting off the Symbiont, but both were shaking and breathing hard.
"We got no time for that! These people need my help!"
"Too late, I call heads!" Grimsley pulled out his coin and tossed it in the air. After catching it, he opened his palm and his grin widened. "Oh tough luck, heads. You're on your own!"
Grimsley waved goodbye to him and turned to leave. Nanu screamed for him to come back, but that was no use. When the Symbiont lifted him to the sky, he threw curses at them and his legs dangled.
The Symbiont stopped in the middle of the ocean. Nanu looked down with wide eyes and demanded them to take him back to shore. Instead, they giggled and dropped him. He screamed as he was falling, falling...
And landed hard on a chair.
Nanu whipped around his head and his eyes fluttered. He was now inside an office with dimmed lighting. Someone in a red suit was in front of the desk, their back facing him.
"Excellent work as always, Agent 000. I knew that your task force could handle Glutton."
Director Eleanor Clarkson turned around, grinning at him. She had put on bright red lipstick and always wore her blue pearl necklace. She held onto a file that Nanu assumed to be one of the Ultra Beasts ones. The scent of Poni Meadows’ purple flowers lingered in the room.
"It was at the cost of Sana's life, though. You have to accept that, at least."
Clarkson blinked and lifted the cress of her forehead, as if she was confused. She sneered.
"Oh, you mean our Faller. Yes, it's tragic that she had been taken away, but that was the plan all along."
Nanu gave an intense, fevered stare. "You're saying that Sana was meant to be bait?"
"That was the only way we can pull in the Ultra Beasts to us. Without her, who knows how many more lives we would've lost."
"That's bull!" Nanu slammed his fist on the table. "She gave her everything to you guys, and you treated her like garbage. Charlotte and KR are devastated, the latter thinking it was his fault."
"I've been aware of Agent 100KR's behavior in the past several months. He's been checking in with our therapist."
Nanu lowered his head, his stare fixing on his lap. He had gone through Interpol's therapy sessions several times also. The therapist seemed genuine and was only doing his job, but he didn't experience what it was like on the field like Nanu did.
"How about Anabel? Is she going towards the same fate as Sana?"
"Yes, she is," Clarkson said with no remorse in her voice.
"So you aren't doing anything to prevent that." That wasn't a question.
Clarkson chuckled, shaking her head. "The UB Task Force and Fallers have been working for us well so far, and there are no plans to change that anytime soon."
Nanu's nostrils flared, and he curled his hand into a fist. Ungrateful devils indeed.
"Now I know what you're thinking, and no I won't let you tell this to her. If she gets one word from you, there could be collateral damage. Understood?"
A knot formed inside his throat. This was the exact same scenario before he had retired. He went inside Clarkson's office, found out about Sana and Anabel being Fallers, and was threatened to keep him quiet. Feeling helpless.
"Yes, ma'am," Nanu said through gritted teeth.
Clarkson beamed. "Good. That is all, Agent 000. You're dismissed."
Nanu rose out of his seat and hung his head in defeat. He walked at a slow pace, his surroundings now nothing more than dark endless space.
Months after having that conversation with the Director, he would leave Interpol. He didn't regret that choice one bit. He only wished none of this had gone down.Author's NoteQuicker update than usual since it's a very short chapter! I admit Nanu and Wicke's interaction and the dream sequence are heavily inspired from Man In Twilight. I drew several cues from that story, but I try to have the dialog and dream sequence be their own thing and fit within Foul Play's context. With this chapter posted, I got a surprise! I recently asked CiCi Sama from PokeCommunity Forums to do an art request of Sana and her partner, Jackie! Some of you guys probably already saw it on Discord, but I still love it. I also recommend checking her deviantart (warning for blood and other dark themes)! Okay, so I'm hoping to have Chapter 13 sometime in July, and Chapter 14 August 8th, which is Foul Play's 2nd anniversary! I have drafts for them done, it's only a matter of polishing and sending to my beta. Hope you guys look forward to them! As always, thanks to bobandbill for looking these chapters over! Comments are appreciated!
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girl-like-substance
the seal will bite you if you give him half a chance
Posts: 527
Pronouns: xe/xem
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Post by girl-like-substance on Jun 27, 2019 22:23:18 GMT
We're back with Nanu this week, huh! And his station full of cats and painful memories, too. I like how he's the character with history, the one who's spending the fic dealing with the past – in contrast to Grimsley, whose whole deal is that he's come to Alola looking for some direction for his present and future. It's interesting that in his dream … well, there's Grimsley. Not featuring in the best light, but like, maybe that's down to Nanu's emotional state and the tone of his dream in general; he is dreaming of him, and as a potential source of help, too. These two definitely have some more stuff to work out yet, haha.
Also, on the subject of Nanu:
That's so Nanu, oh my god. His favourite place on the island is a big gloomy misty field full of blood-red flowers. This is like a place where I imagine teen Goths come to smoke cloves, and that's just like, so Nanu. Another thing I really love is Triples. A+ nicknaming there, Charlotte!
Actually, speaking of Charlotte, I found her really interesting: part of the Wicke we know from the games is there, but there are edges to her personality, just under the surface of her charm, that I don't think are present in-game. She is acting, when she's being Wicke. But she's also drawing on her real self to create that act, and you can see that here. It's fascinating! And like, a really good way to both have your cake and eat it: it lets you do a canon character, which is something you're really good at, but it also lets you develop an interesting new character at the same time.
Unsurprisingly, the two secret agents have figured out something's up with Aether way before the group of eleven-year-olds who didn't get it till they saw Team Skull in Aether Paradise, lol. I really like the dynamic between these two, although of course I'm always a sucker for a good grouchy/cheery character dynamic. And there's just something about this Interpol team, huh? It is absolutely the gayest squad in the agency, and I am here for it! :D
So: a short chapter here, but a really interesting one. I'll finish off with a few little bits and pieces I noted as I read through:
I feel like that would be 'make' here, since it's an action he continues to perform on a regular basis.
That 'had' shouldn't be there.
That should be 'hadn't' – it's a … past tense conditional? I don't know the right term for it. A thing that could have happened in the past but didn't, is what I mean.
The higher ups are usually plural, so that apostrophe should be on the other side of the S.
I'm not sure 'through' is the right word here – people tend to go 'down' paths, rather than through them.
That should be 'cover' – Charlotte is undercover, but if she reveals herself, she'll be breaking her cover.
This is something she knew in the past that she had to do, so that should be 'had to inform you'.
Not sure what you mean by 'faith' here – maybe it's a typo for 'fate' or 'path'?
Missing a 'him' between 'keep' and 'quiet'.
Also! I love that picture of Sana and Jackie; it has a lot of the energy and personality that Sana clearly had. :>
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Post by illustriousrocket on Jun 30, 2019 3:47:50 GMT
(chapter 5)
I don't have too much to say, but I really enjoyed this one. Your primary strength continues to be characterization - Nanu, Grimsley and Acerola are all very different people, and you characterize them so distinctly that their differences elevate everything around them. They all had their own standout moments this time.
I think what I particularly liked the most were Nanu's nightmare and the Mimikins battle. The way you wrote the former conveyed genuinely frightening imagery, and by straddling the line between realism and fantasy in how it played out enhanced that. The latter was entertaining for its action and excellent use of its environment. Even though I expected Grimsley to win due to the foreshadowing of him getting a Z-Crystal, I found the battle exciting because it seemed possible he could lose. I wonder when he will get a Z-Ring to use it?
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Post by bay on Jul 14, 2019 0:16:35 GMT
Replies under spoilers! eldestoyster: Haha yeah the two do need to sort out some things. Luckily though, next chapter that I'm posting now will have them discuss some stuff together!
"Teenage goths come to smoke cloves" oh my gosh I love that comparison. You're probably not far off from the truth with Team Skull grunts running around, haha.
Wicke is interesting for me to write. As you said, I want to still have parts of her laid back and cheery personality while making her have an important role in SM/USUM's story. Lately I've thought of her as "Man in Twilight" Wicke because that's where I'm getting her characterization from.
Yup, the two figured things out quickly. I will say though the children will find that out slightly sooner than the games once we hit the Po Town mini arc. And of course Nanu's Interpol team is the gayest squad in the agency!
Thanks for the grammar corrections as always. I'm in very deep with July Camp Nano now, so won't get to those until after!
illustrious-rocket I already replied to you in AO3, but going to copy and paste here too!
Hiiiii there! Don't worry if you don't have too much to say, whatever comments you have are always appreciated!
Glad to hear you liked Nanu's nightmare and the Totem Mimikyu battle! The former I did have fun with the environment and making Nanu thinking his dream was real there. Hah, now I'm imagining how Grimsley would react if he had lost to Mimikins. As for when he'll get a Z-Ring, I have plans for that but that'll be much later in the story! Chapter Thirteen PaybackThe next day, Grimsley used his Page Rider to have a Pokémon be dropped for him. He rode on a Flygon, who took him from Malie City to Route 16. As they soared through the skies, he gazed down to see them passing through the grasses and palm trees of Route 11, the rocky and desert terrains of Routes 12 and 13, the ruins of Tapu Village and Route 14’s abandoned supermarket, and the waters of Route 15. Grimsley’s hair whipped through the rushing air, and the beat of Flygon's wings vibrated against his ears. He gazed down to see some land, a Pokémon Center, and another building with the Aether Foundation’s star symbol. There were some people and children outside. He let Flygon know this was his stop, and she swooped down. When they finally reached Route 16, she landed close to Ula’ula Meadows and he jumped off from her back. He thanked her for dropping him here, then Grimsley watched her take off for a moment before he set foot inside Ula’ula Meadows. Wild red flowers bloomed throughout the meadow. Grimsley's shoes creaked against the wooden bridge as he inhaled the sweet nectar that hung in the air. Red birds reminiscent of tango dancers popped out and flew frantically, which Grimsley assumed to be the Oricorio Iokua had warned him about. They looked similar to Ricky's Oricorio that Queen had battled against some days ago. He continued to move further until he saw a sign that indicated Po Town was to the left, Lake of the Moone to the right. While pondering where he should go first, Grimsley stroked his chin. After a moment, he pulled his coin out and gazed at it on his palm. "Heads, Po Town. Tails, Lake of the Moone." Grimsley tossed the coin up in the air, and then caught it with one hand. He opened his palm to see it landed on tails. He grunted and headed towards Lake of the Moone. The bell-like curved trail towards there was several minutes long. He stopped when he reached a massive shrine that looked to be generations old. It was surrounded by a lake that sparkled like the moon. In front of the bridge to the shrine was a decorative tower with compass roses in the middle. There seemed to be another tower that had fallen and broken in half. Grimsley crossed the bridge and stepped inside. Grimsley's footsteps echoed through the ruins' empty and hollow chamber. There were cracks on the walls and floor, and some rubble was left behind. The temperature inside was colder than the Ruins of Abundance. His nose wrinkled at the dust and spiderwebs that had formed. He wondered if this was a temple or sanctuary where people would worship Lunala. He took the steps down, continuing forward. It was a long hall with many wooden doors. Grimsley tried to open a few of them, but they were either jammed or blocked by more rubble. Water leaked through the walls like a small cut on the skin. Grimsley could make out light from a short distance, and so he followed that path. When Grimsley made it outside, he thought he was in a garden. There were several tall trees and bushes with white flowers. A dirt path was formed that then branched into three paths. The left path was blocked by a small cliff while the right was blocked by large boulders. Grimsley took the straight path that led him to a stone wall and some stairs. In front were two compass rose towers, like the ones just outside the ruins. Grimsley touched one of the towers, cold and rough against his palm. Grimsley took the stairway up, but then stopped where two pedestals with the moon symbol stood. It was exactly like the flute drawing from Alola's Light. He shifted his gaze, and his eyes grew wide when a flash of white light appeared up ahead. Right now, Colress, Dawson his Beheeyem, and the Ultra Recon Squad stood on top of the platform. Grimsley's throat was tied in a knot. He hid behind the pedestal and eavesdropped on their conversation. "This is where we'll meet with one of your other members?" Colress asked. "I'm positive," Dulse said. "I already send Soliera the coordinates. She should be here any moment." "Oh, I wonder if she's gonna ride Lunala or Solgaleo here!" Zossie said, her feet bouncing. Grimsley quirked a curious brow. Did she mean Lunala and Solgaleo from the Alolan folklore? Dulse cleared his throat and faced Colress. "According to our research, the Lake of the Moone brushes up against another world like Alola. A parallel universe, if you will." Colress grinned. "I've read about those from various scientific journals. Both here and the Altar of the Sunne are fascinating places." Grimsley pressed his lips, his forehead knitting a furrowed brow. He still wasn't sure what to feel about alternate dimensions days after he had talked to Burnet about those. "She's coming, she's coming!" Zossie jumped up and down, pointing to the sky. A thunder-like clap exploded in the air. Gazing up, Grimsley spotted a small wormhole opening up. A majestic bat-like creature that resembled Lunala popped out, letting out a shrill cry. Their wings sparkled like stars with each loud beat. A woman that wore the same spacesuit as Dulse and Zossie rode on their back. They eventually landed on the platform, and the woman hopped off. "Soliera!" Zossie rushed and hugged her on the waist. “It's great to see you too, dear," Soliera said with a warm smile, returning the embrace. After they let go, she approached Colress. "I'm Soliera, another member of the Ultra Recon Squad." "Colress, at your service." He and Soliera shook hands. "Dulse and Zossie told me that you'll be helping us restraining Necrozma." "Indeed, I am. I'm almost done with the machine. I just need as much information on Necrozma as possible to fill in some data!" "I have it all right here." Soliera pulled out what looked to be a flashdrive and handed it to Colress. He nodded. "Thank you. This should be very useful!" Soliera frowned and faced Dulse. She folded her arms against her chest. "Captain Phyco wasn't happy when you made that request. Necrozma is getting more unstable by the minute. He’s also weary that the International Police are watching over us." “The International Police are indeed keeping tabs on you,” Colress said. “As long as you help with my and Aether’s research, there’s nothing to worry about.” "Colress has proven to be experienced with the ways of Pokémon," Dulse said. “This shouldn't be a problem." "Yeah, Mr. Scientist Man here is really smart!" Zossie said, grinning. Dawson approached her, the gems on his fingers flashing. She giggled and patted him. "His Pokémon are also very friendly!" Soliera seemed to regard them for a moment. "All right, I trust you two's judgment." Lunala cried and flapped their wings. Their body lit up in white light, brighter than the sun. Dawson squeaked and hid behind his trainer. Looking up at the legendary Pokémon, Colress grinned. "I must say, your Lunala radiates so much light. It's astounding!" Grimsley couldn't tear his gaze off of Lunala. He was reminded of the Alolan folklore when Lunala and Solgaleo would give their light to reawaken the Blinding One from their long sleep. Another few seconds passed until Lunala's light faded. "Lunala had passed down some of its light to Necrozma, but it wasn't enough," Dulse said. "We were afraid it would get too greedy, so we kept Lunala far away from Necrozma as much as possible." "Necrozma sounded so sad," Zossie said, sounding more upset than her usual joyful self. She hung her head down. "That's why Dulse and I volunteered to go to Alola and find a way to help it." "Once I have the machine ready, Necrozma won't have to suffer anymore," Colress said. Grimsley shifted his gaze away from the group and grimaced. An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. He could tell the moment Colress had laid his eyes on Lunala that he wanted to use them for his own means. The same could be applied to Necrozma. The Ultra Recon Squad were foolish to have him help them. "I should head back to Ultra Megalopolis," Soliera said. "Captain Phyco won't be able to handle things alone." "Aw, you can't stay here longer?" Zossie pouted. "I think you'll love Alola!" "I'm sure Alola is lovely, but I'm needed back there." Soliera dropped to one knee and touched her shoulder. "If there's anything else you three need, let me know." "We will!" Zossie said, her face lit up. She and Soliera embraced. "You and Lunala have a safe trip back home," Dulse said. Soliera nodded and did the Ultra Recon Squad's version of the Alola rainbow sign. When she approached Lunala, they lowered themselves so that she could hop on their back. "Lunala, to Ultra Megalopolis!" Lunala bellowed with enthusiasm and the wormhole popped up. They and Soliera took off, going through that wormhole before it closed up and disappeared. "Now that I have what I needed, shall we head back to Aether Paradise?" "Yes, that is fine," Dulse said. "Wonderful!" Colress said, looking at his Pokémon. Dawson nodded and his eyes glowed green. White light surrounded everyone, and they vanished. Grimsley stared at the empty platform in stunned silence. He put his back on the pedestal, and released a deep breath. He and Colress definitely needed that talk. xxx After Grimsley had left Lake of the Moone, he was still digesting everything he had seen there. He reminded himself that he was initially here to talk with Nanu, so he brushed off his thoughts on Colress and the Ultra Recon Squad for now. The red Oricorio were still dancing wildly and the nectar’s scent grew stronger. He moved further until he saw Nanu in the middle of a field of those red flowers. Smirking, Grimsley jumped off the bridge. “I didn’t think you would be the type to admire this kind of beauty,” he said while approaching Nanu, who glared at him. “You already want a battle against me? The answer’s no if you’re wondering.” Grimsley frowned. “While I still wish for that to happen, that’s not why I’m here. I talked to Iokua recently about a certain past of yours.” “You mean during my time as an Interpol officer?” Nanu asked, and Grimsley nodded. He sighed. “What did he tell you?” “That you were pretty down after that incident. Also, that your mission might’ve been involved with a certain type of powerful Pokémon.” That last statement made Nanu freeze, and his face tensed. Their eyes locked, and Nanu gave him a hard stare. Red petals floated in the air, swirling around them. “Let’s go to the police station.” He dusted off some of the petals that landed on his hair and clothes and started walking. Grimsley followed behind. As they exited Ula’ula Meadows and slipped into Route 17, Grimsley glimpsed around the several grass fields and rolling hills. Gray skies hung over them and a cold breeze caressed his skin. He lifted his gaze at the large wall that stood as tall as towers; Grimsley assumed that must be Po Town. It wasn’t long until they made it to the police station and stepped inside. Grimsley cringed upon seeing the many clothes and piles of papers left alone, and he was astonished over the several dark-furred Meowth that took over inside. Grimsley sat on a couch while Nanu sat next to his desk. “Oh my, you have a horde of Meowth here.” “Meowth are all right. They don’t care about you or anything.” Nanu leaned against his chair, stretching his arms behind his head. “You were talking about the Ultra Beasts, huh?” “Yes,” Grimsley said after he swallowed. “Iokua and I talked for a bit, and he thinks you know something about them.” Nanu nodded. “When the Ultra Recon Squad showed us Adhesive a while back, I got upset. Aether’s president then announced another one of those things appeared in her little Pokémon utopia. From experience, I know the Ultra Beasts aren’t beings to be taken lightly.” As Grimsley listened to Nanu’s explanation, a Meowth rubbed against his leg. His gaze fell on the little feline, and when he scratched his chin the Meowth purred in delight. “I recall you scoffing at Becky’s suggestion in letting the Aether Foundation help you with Team Skull. Is that why you’re wary of them?” “Sorta.” Another Meowth curled around Nanu’s desk and he scratched behind her ear. “We’ve been getting word Aether have been doing their own research on the Ultra Wormholes, but there’s no proof that the foundation was responsible for those. At least, not yet.” “How about the Aether Foundation working with the Ultra Recon Squad? You think their collaboration is genuine?” “To be honest, I don’t know. Based on our interactions with the Ultra Recon Squad, they seemed serious about that.” “Yes, that looks to be the case.” Grimsley recalled that night when Nanu had told him about the woman in the picture. He asked, “That late colleague of yours. Can you tell me a bit about her?” Nanu stopped petting the Meowth, who growled sadly at him. He sat straight back up, furrowing his brow at him. After a moment, he dragged out a deep sigh. “Her name was Sana. As I said before, we didn’t get along but still worked well together. She didn’t remember much of her past, except that she was from Unova and a scientist. A much more competent battler than our other member, Agent Looker.” “She sounds interesting. How come you two didn’t get along but still worked well together?” “We knew one another’s strengths and weaknesses, and kept each other in line. She was one of the better agents I’ve worked with.” Nanu stared at the ceiling, rubbing his forehead. “Now it’s your turn.” “Huh?” Grimsley asked, genuinely confused. “My turn for what?” “I’ve told you a little bit of my past, so it’s only fair you do the same. Like, I know you’re from Unova and of the Elite Four, but nothing else beyond that.” “Oh.” Grimsley tapped on his chin while he pondered over what he was willing to reveal to Nanu. “Well, I did mention to Iokua how I came from a wealthy family. Several villas across the globe, servants, fancy parties, the works.” “So you were a spoiled rich brat, huh?” Nanu snorted. “I can imagine that.” “I would be lying if I didn’t say that all of that felt good.” Grimsley glanced down to see the Meowth now lying on the floor and he scratched his neck. “My mother used to be a professional gambler, but then stopped shortly after I was born. My father had owned a hotel chain and a few sports teams. One of those hotels had a casino, and that was how my parents had met.” Nanu grunted, a crooked smile on his lips. “Somehow that fits you and your parents.” “As you said, I was a spoiled brat. That ended though when my father had passed away and left me as the head of the house. There were heated discussions over my father’s inheritance and his side of the family wouldn’t help us.” “How come?” “They never approved of my father’s marriage to my mother. Thus, we were on our own. Luckily she had taught me her trade at a young age, so I was able to support us while I traveled through Unova.” Nanu regarded him a moment, as if sinking all of Grimsley’s story in. “Huh, no wonder you're into talking about chances and carrying that coin of yours all the time. What got you into Pokémon training, then?” Grimsley stopped playing with the Meowth and lifted his gaze at Nanu. He smirked at him. “I learned that gambling and Pokémon battles aren’t so different. Both require some thought on what moves you want to make, and both have a winner and a loser. In the end, there’s always a risk and a reward.” An amused grunt escaped from Nanu. “I must admit that is some comparison you have there, vampire boy.” Being called that again led Grimsley to furrow his brow, but then his face relaxed and he chuckled. When he finished petting Meowth, the feline bounced off and went to play with one of the other Meowth. “Mr. Dark and Gritty already has a nickname for me, hm?” Already Nanu tossed him a stern look. “Don’t push it. And never call me that again.” He cleared his throat. “Anything else you want to talk about?” Grimsley pondered over that for a moment. His mind flashed back to Colress and the Ultra Recon Squad in Lake of the Moone. He didn’t want to think about that again, but what had happened there was important for Nanu to know. “Do you know anything about the Lake of the Moone?” “It used to be a sanctuary where people would worship Lunala. Why you ask?” “I was visiting there earlier today. Colress was with the Ultra Recon Squad, and another member of theirs had Lunala with them.” “What? Seriously? The more I hear about those guys, the weirder they get.” “Well they’re apparently from another planet, but yes that’s what I saw. One of the members delivered something for Colress’s machine.” “If what you said is true, then I can let my former colleagues in Interpol know about that.” Grimsley grunted and offered Nanu a solemn nod. He hoped that would lead Interpol into investigating Colress and the Ultra Recon Squad more. Just then, a stone shattered the window and hit the wall, several pieces of glass lying on the floor. The Meowth on Nanu’s desk screeched and jumped off due to that noise. Both Grimsley and Nanu stood up and exchanged baffled looks. Someone’s cackle could be heard from outside. “Yo, police officer! Your old pals Dennis and Felicia here want to have a little chat with you,” a male’s voice yelled out. Nanu groaned, which made Grimsley look at him over his shoulder. “You know those two?” he asked, arching an eyebrow. “They’re Team Skull grunts residing in Po Town. I kicked their butts some weeks ago. You wait here.” Nanu flicked his wrist, and then he stepped outside. Curious about them, Grimsley did the same. When Grimsley stepped out of the police station, he was greeted by two people in dark baggy clothing and doing their unusual poses. He recognized their wardrobe to be of Team Skull based on his last encounter with them. Nanu narrowed his eyes at the grunts. “You guys should've stayed put in Po Town,” he said in a gruff voice. “After the way you wrecked us bad last time, we want a rematch,” the female grunt, that Grimsley assumed would be Felicia, said. “Yeah!” the male grunt, Dennis, said and pumped his fist. “Like our big bro, Guzma, you can’t take us down that easily!” As Grimsley glanced over his shoulder, he caught Nanu fixing his stare at the grunts. He faced back at Dennis and Felicia, making a few steps forward. “Man oh man, what is going on today? Two Team Skull grunts harassing a police officer, it seems?” “Who the hell are you?” Dennis asked with wide eyes, tilting his head. “Oh, me?” Acting surprised, Grimsley gasped and pointed a finger at himself. “Just a trainer passing through this little region.” An unimpressed look stretched across Felicia’s face. She had her hand on her hip. “Hold up, D. I think this is the kimono guy that crushed Jo-Jo and Mikey back in Melemele Island.” “For real?” Dennis stared at Grimsley and grunted. “Sounds like you ain’t from around here.” “Either way, our cop friend there got himself a new buddy to make this even.” Glaring at him, Nanu said through gritted teeth, “I thought I told you to stay inside.” “It wouldn’t be wise of me to leave you alone with those two in case something happens,” Grimsley said, his voice dropping slightly. An idea came to him, and he looked back at the grunts. “You two want a rematch against Nanu, correct?” “Of course,” Dennis said with a raised brow. “So what’s it to you?” “A Pokémon battle always has a winner and a loser. It’s pathetic to make a big deal out of losing if you aren’t prepared.” Grimsley craned his neck back, flashing his teeth. “So tell me, do you have the right cards to win this next battle?” he asked, and Dennis and Felicia shot him perplexed looks. Grimsley glanced at Nanu, his glare still locked at him. “What are you blabbering on about?” Dennis asked with his shoulders hunched. “You tryin’ to mess with our heads, man?” Grimsley shrugged. “I was just asking if you two are prepared. But how about we wager for real?” He pulled out the coin from his kimono, his fingers rubbing at its edge. “Heads or tails. One result will be you guys leaving Officer Nanu alone. The other result will be a Pokémon battle against us.” Once more, the two grunts exchanged baffled expressions. When they faced back at him, Felicia said, “Fine. Heads.” “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Nanu asked, raising a suspicious brow. In response, Grimsley gave an amused grunt. He tossed the coin in the air, waiting a few seconds until catching it. When he opened his palm, the coin landed on heads. Nanu slapped his forehead and groaned. “Nice going there, genius,” he said, but Grimsley ignored the sarcasm there. Both Felicia and Dennis chuckled and grinned. "Looks like we'll have our payback after all," Felicia said, and she turned to Dennis. "You take that cop while I handle the other dude." "You go it!" Dennis said, and he and Felicia threw their pokéballs up in the air. Two Pokémon were released, one Grimsley recognized as Haunter and the other a Raticate, but with darker fur and much bigger cheeks. Haunter screeched while Raticate opened his mouth wide to show off his fangs. Nanu and Grimsley also released their own Pokémon onto the battlefield. Grimsley had sent out Queen, who dropped on one knee like a sworn knight. He jerked his head to see Nanu's Persian screech and preparing a battle stance. "I focus on my guy, and you do the same," Nanu said. "Of course." As Grimsley faced back at his opponent, he smirked. "I've seen my fair share of Raticate in Unova, but nothing like yours." "Raticate and I are pretty tight, so you better watch out," Felicia said with a glare and thrust her arm forward. "Let's wreck that dude's Pokémon with Hyper Fang!" "Counter with X-Scissor!" Felicia's Raticate opened his jaws, showing off his sharp teeth, and launched at Queen. Queen's arms flashed green and she blocked Raticate's assault when they collided. Raticate sunk his teeth onto Queen's right arm, which caused her to unfurl her arms and slash him. Raticate screamed. A minor gash had been left on his face. Felicia furrowed her brow and her lips twitched. “Go ahead and slow that Raticate down with Thunder Wave!” “Avoid it and get back with Ice Beam!” A charge of electricity formed around Queen's raised arms. She launched her Thunder Wave at Raticate, but he jumped at a nearby tree and used his tail to hook himself on the branch, avoiding being paralyzed altogether. While upside down, he inhaled and fired sparks of ice cold energy right at Queen’s chest. Queen grunted and stumbled a little, but she shook it off. A smug grin pulled on the corner of Felicia's lips. "Now go for Flame Charge and kick its ass!" "Thunder Wave one more time," Grimsley commanded, his voice calm. Raticate jumped out from the tree, cloaking himself in flames while in the air, then he landed on the ground and rushed at Queen. Queen's arm crackled in electrical flashes once more. Before Raticate rammed into her, she punched him in the face and that caused him to bounce off and back away. Queen dusted off some flames on her arm and hands, but there were still some scorch marks there. The flames around Raticate's body vanished. He glared at Queen, flashing his fangs at her, but then he screeched and his body grew stiff. Felicia stared with wide eyes when that happened. Grimsley grinned as this was exactly what he wanted. He glanced over his shoulder to see Nanu’s Persian still in good shape while Haunter looked tired and some of his outer skin ripped and deformed. Haunter let out large amounts of electricity at Persian, but the feline dodged in time and shot glimmering crystals straight at her opponent. Believing the man was perfectly fine there, Grimsley turned his attention back to Felicia. "Take this chance to strike hard, Queen!" "Pull yourself together, bud!" Felicia said with a clenched fist. "Try to shake that paralysis off with Hyper Fang!" Still struggling to move, Raticate's body twitched and he hissed in frustration. That gave the perfect opportunity for Queen to slam into Raticate with her forehead and push him against a nearby tree. Raticate crashed onto the trunk, branches and leaves shaking. Raticate collapsed on the ground, and then seconds later got up and spat dirt off from his mouth. Two large bruises bloomed on Raticate's forehead and cheeks. Felicia glared at Grimsley and her hand jerked. “Oh, why I outta… Raticate, get wild with Wild Charge!” “Stop their assault with Sucker Punch!” Able to shake off the paralysis, jolts of electricity shrouded all over Raticate’s body. As Raticate rushed at her, Queen’s arm was veiled in dark energy, and she punched his stomach when he got close to her. Raticate skidded backward with grass and dirt flying everywhere, but he managed to stop himself by digging his feet and tail on the ground. Having the air knocked out of him, he wheezed and his cheeks puffed out. A confident smile tugged onto Grimsley’s lips. “That does it, bounce back and give Flame Charge another try!” Felicia lashed out. Her Raticate bared his teeth and his fur burst in flames once more. “Let’s end this with one last Iron He—” Before Grimsley could finish his command, someone interrupted by yelling out, “Power Gem!” and Nanu's Persian immediately stood in front of Queen. The gem on the feline’s forehead glowed and a bright beam shot at Raticate’s chest. Raticate shrieked and got launched into the air, and he dropped on the ground with a loud thump. With another shaky breath, the rat Pokémon slowly stood back up, but not for long as he collapsed back down and fainted. Queen grunted and glared at Persian when she held her head up high, as if proud of herself. Grimsley looked on with his gaping mouth for a moment, and he jerked his head to see Nanu next to him. "I thought we weren't supposed to interfere with one another." “You were taking too long to finish,” Nanu said in a flat tone. He returned his Pokémon and had his hands in his pockets. Grimsley raised a brow at him, and he turned back to see Felicia glaring at them after she had returned her Raticate. Dennis joined her and wore a similar expression. “You just got served yourself?” Felicia asked. “Yeah. That police officer’s Persian messed Haunter up good again,” Dennis said, his frown deepening. A ringtone, which sounded like rap music, was then heard and he pulled out a phone from his pants’ pocket to answer it. “Yo, what’s up? You guys just got out of the Aether House? Sweet. And how’s our big sis Plumeria? Nice. Yeah, Felicia and I went to battle the dude and he brought a friend with him. Okay, cool, we’ll meet you up at Po Town, then.” Dennis put the phone back in his pocket and told Felicia, “That’s Tommy. He and Mika finished what they were doing.” Grimsley’s eyes widened and his stomach jumped when he heard Dennis said “Aether House.” He glimpsed over his shoulder to see Nanu just as stunned as he was. “Aether House?” Nanu said with a furrowed brow. “What are you guys doing there?” “None of your business, just something our boss wanted us to do. Let’s go and scram outta here, Felicia.” “I’m with you on that.” Felicia nodded in agreement, and then she faced and pointed at Grimsley and Nanu. “We’ll be coming back for you two again.” She and Dennis made a run for it. “Great, just freaking great,” Nanu grumbled as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Come on, let’s check back with Becky and the kids. Acerola is probably there, too,” he said, and then Grimsley and Queen followed him to the police station. As soon as everyone stepped inside, Nanu went to his desk and pushed the numbers on the computer’s touchscreen while Grimsley and his Pokémon watched. It was a few moments until Becky showed up on the screen, a worried expression on her face. “Kahuna Nanu, Mr. Grimsley, thank goodness!” Becky said. “Something terrible just happened. Team Skull went and stole one of the kids’ Pokémon.” “They did what?” Grimsley said in shock. “Did you try to stop them?” Nanu asked, his eyes narrowed. “I did with Headmaster, but one of their leaders Plumeria was too tough for us. She mentioned how she has a bone to pick with Selene.” Grimsley swallowed upon hearing Selene’s name. He had been hearing that name several times now since he came to this region. “Is Acerola here with you now?” Nanu asked, and Becky shook her head. “She’s away with Hau and Selene for their trials at that abandoned store. I think they should be back soon.” Grimsley crossed his arms and bit his lips as he pondered over the situation. During the lingering silence, he glanced to see Nanu lean back in his chair and rub his forehead. An idea then hit him. “I’ll be coming over there very shortly. I want to meet with Acerola and the others. Perhaps we can come up with a plan to get the Pokémon back. ” He glanced at Nanu, who shot him a long stare. “I think that would be appreciated,” Becky said with a smile. “Thanks so much you guys for checking up with us! Please stay safe.” “You do the same,” Grimsley said, and the screen on Acerola and Becky’s side blacked out. Nanu closed the program from the computer and grunted. “Whatever Team Skull’s up to, I don’t have a good feeling about it. Here, catch.” Nanu threw him a yellow and red spray bottle and Grimsley caught it. A burn heal potion. “Thanks.” Grimsley looked at his Bisharp, her face tired and arm covered in burnt marks, and frowned. He used the burn heal, spraying several sips on her. “Neither do I. That’s why I want to see if I can help in any way.” While giving him an indifferent stare, Nanu grunted. He then said, “I’ll be outside patrolling Po Town and making sure Team Skull doesn’t cause more of a ruckus. And oh, I took some sneak peeks at your battle against one of the grunts. You weren’t bluffing when you said you’re from the Elite Four.” Grimsley stared at Nanu as he stepped outside of the police station. It sounded like he had just complimented him, which caught him off guard. He gazed back at Queen, who responded with a shrug. The majority of the burns on her arm had faded, and she looked a little more upbeat now. Grimsley patted her shoulder and sighed, exhausted from all that happened today and afraid what he would find upon his return to the Aether House. Author's Note: And the Dark Uncle Squad is back! Expect more of that in future chapters. As I mentioned before, August 8 is Foul Play's 2nd anniversary. I'm going to try my best to have Chapter 14 be posted on that day. If not, then a few days after at least. Thanks bobandbill for the beta as always! See you all in August!
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girl-like-substance
the seal will bite you if you give him half a chance
Posts: 527
Pronouns: xe/xem
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Post by girl-like-substance on Jul 16, 2019 22:12:14 GMT
I like that the page rider summons a different pokémon than we see in-game! Like, it’s this small detail that gives a sense of a broader world thing – we know that there are other flying pokémon in use in Alola, so we get the impression there’s like a stable of different pokémon in use by the ride service.
Anyway, there’s a lot to get through here, so let’s start with the fact that Grimsley is just like, the guy who came here on holiday and accidentally walked face-first into a conspiracy and is just like eh, I don’t know I feel about this, it’s awkward that my ex is here I guess. It’s honestly kind of amazing, haha. I have to wonder, though, how much truth there is to Grimsley’s immediate assumption that Colress has ulterior motives? Like, on the one hand he probably knows the guy pretty well; on the other, Colress has always seemed to me like the kind of guy who absolutely doesn’t realise that his inventions are actively making the world a worse place by enabling supervillains, and given their history, it’s not impossible that Grimsley could be biased about him.
Still, one thing I am sure of is that I love how you’re taking all the cameos in USUM that didn’t go anywhere and filling in the gaps between them, weaving them all together into one big conspiracy that extends much further than anything we see in-game; it’s really cool, and it’s really come into its own in these last few chapters, when Grimsley and Nanu’s plotlines have started to arc around one another and the central thrust of the story in a way that’s getting clearer and clearer the more we learn. Really nice work!
Also, minor point, but this really is a fic of brilliant nicknames, haha. Mr Dark and Gritty, vampire boy, Triples, the other ones from Interpol that I can’t remember – they’re all so good, both as like jokes and as revelations of character for the people that gave them.
It’s interesting to see a different kind of battle for once – Grimsley’s been having a lot of spectacular, pro-level battles with world-class trainers recently, but like, up against a random Team Skull grunt, he absolutely annihilates them, and I love it. He’s always in control throughout the battle; Queen basically just stomps all over that raticate, even while burned – in fact, that burn is the only reason the fight even lasts that long.
I like how Nanu says ‘wait here’ and Grimsley immediately and without even thinking about it comes outside instead; that … kinda sums up their whole character dynamic so far, actually. But it looks like that character dynamic is starting to shift a little: Nanu’s just starting to recognise Grimsley’s skill after all, even if he does it in the most asshole way he can. Things are starting to move between them – and things are moving with the main story, too. Looking forward to the next chapter, and congrats on the approaching anniversary! :D
Here are just a few typos and things I caught as I read through:
I feel like that should be ‘According to our research’, and that there’s a ‘the’ missing before ‘Lake of the Moone’.
That should be ‘When the Ultra Recon Squad showed us’.
Missing ‘from’ after ‘ain’t’.
I’m not quite sure how this is meant to work – haunter are like, made of gas, so I feel like I maybe need a bit more description to be clear on what being bruised looks like/means for a creature like that.
That should be ‘mentioned’.
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