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Post by Krosshair on Apr 24, 2020 2:53:35 GMT
Warnings: None at the moment, though that could be subject to change.
Summary: Fourteen year old Gold's life is changed forever when Professor Elm tasks him to go on an errand regarding a discovery from Elm's colleague, Mr. Pokémon. Join Gold as he journeys across the Johto region to conquer the Pokémon League, though he might run into a few snags along the way...Johto's always a region I've held near and dear to my heart, so I decided to start my Pokémon universe with it. Hope you enjoy! Tales of the Nintendoverse: Sentinels of the Sea and SkyPrologue: Origins
700 years ago, two towers were built in an area which would soon become the first city of the Johto region, Ecruteak City. The twin towers were called the Bell Tower and the Brass Tower, the Bell Tower being plated with silvery panels of tin and the Brass Tower being plated with, well, brass.
The Rainbow Pokémon, Ho-Oh, visited the two towers once every twenty-five years, usually heralding the end of a particularly nasty region-wide storm which seemed to strike Johto every five years. The lucky few who did get to see Ho-Oh when it would perch on top of the towers, even if they saw it for mere moments, were blessed with a life of eternal happiness. The sages of Ecruteak's twin towers would frequently pray to the bronze statue of Ho-Oh on the fifth floor of the Bell Tower in an attempt to commune with the Legendary Pokémon.
However, these times of peace and happiness would not last, as 550 years after the construction of the towers, the Brass Tower was struck by a lightning bolt from the reoccurring storm, which set the tower ablaze. Through the efforts of the Ecruteak community, the sages of the tower and most of the Pokémon were safely evacuated... with the exception of a Jolteon, a Vaporeon, and a Flareon.
The roaring fire was extinguished by a fierce rainstorm which lasted for an entire day, and the citizens mourned the loss of both the Brass Tower and the three Pokémon who perished in the fire.
Ho-Oh had seen the burning tower when it was up in the sky, and, having taken pity on the three Pokémon whose lives had been unfairly robbed from them, resurrected them with its Sacred Ash. The three resurrected Pokémon were known as Raikou, Entei, and Suicune, and Ho-Oh allowed them to freely roam the Johto region as they saw fit. Those who wandered near the Ecruteak towers on that day swore that they heard the sounds of twinkling bells.
The citizens of Ecruteak would not see Ho-Oh for 150 years, with the Rainbow Pokémon having concentrated its efforts on stopping the freak storm which came by Johto every five years.
A century after the burning of the Brass Tower, the reoccurring storm had completely vanished, and it is said that Ho-Oh and the beasts of the Burned Tower still freely roam the Johto region to this day.
"...and that's the story of the twin towers of Ecruteak City." A young woman in her mid-to-late 20s closed a storybook, which was met by loud protests from her seven year-old son. "Now, now, Gold, Mommy'll read you two stories tomorrow if you go to bed before 9:00, how about that?" The child's demeanor flipped on a dime, and he let out a chipper, "Okay!" before running up the stairs and heading to his room. Evelyn smiled as she heard her son thunder up the stairs before getting ready to go to bed herself, due to needing to prepare for another long day of working at the Goldenrod Radio Tower.
Giovanni's lips formed a thin smile upon hearing the profits of the day's business. To the public, Team Rocket put up the front of a benevolent corporate organization that sought to better the world and assist the researchers in Mossdeep City of the Hoenn region by providing parts and crucial technology for Mossdeep's space program. However, behind closed doors, they were a ruthless crime organization who sold rare and powerful Pokémon to the highest bidder (or through their Game Corner in Celadon City), and sometimes even did cruel experiments on Pokémon to bring out their true potential. While the team was primarily based in Kanto, they had also recently begun setting up outposts in the Sevii Islands and in Johto's Mahogany Town. Regardless, Giovanni was pleased by the profits that had come in for the day, with his best agents managing to capture and sell a powerful Unovan Pokémon, a Haxorus, to a wealthy man in Alola. Reading through the records, he was soon interrupted by his secretary, Matori, who said, "Boss, it appears that your son's babysitter has called about it being the end of her shift..." Nodding, Giovanni thanked her before commanding, "Tell the grunts to shut down business for the day." Matori nodded before exiting Giovanni's office to relay the message to Proton, an up-and-coming executive in the organization. After making some minor adjustments to his suit, Giovanni walked out of the team's headquarters and into the busy streets of Saffron City. Walking out of the city, Giovanni made a reminder for himself to keep the Viridian Gym open for one hour longer the next day, as he wanted to show Silver how it was like to be a powerful Trainer. Having made his way back to Viridian City just as the sun was setting, Giovanni unlocked the door to his modest two-story dwelling, and saw the babysitter he had hired playing on some kind of game system with Silver. The babysitter, Julia, looked up to see that Giovanni was staring right at her, and she quickly stood up, nervously saying, "Oh! I didn't expect you to be back so soon..." Chuckling in a good-natured fashion, Giovanni coolly replied, "Oh, it's not an issue." Reaching into his wallet, he pulled out a neat stack of 5,000 PokéDollars, asking, "I expect that you will be back tomorrow?" Julia nodded, and Giovanni said, "Very well," giving a light gesture towards the door to indicate that she had been dismissed. As Julia left, Giovanni looked his son in the eye, and asked, "So, how was school today?" Giovanni had a genuine smile on his face as he listened to the seven year old boy tell him about how his day at Pewter City's primary school had gone...
Around the same time, Gold and his mother were up on the roof stargazing, the two of them having disregarded the whole 'early sleep' thing. Evelyn excitedly pointed out where Ursaring Major, Teddiursa Minor, and Kancer the Krabby were in the night sky, and Gold looked up in awe, the night sky being illuminated in his golden eyes. Eventually, Evelyn had fallen asleep, but Gold remained awake just in time to hear a sound which sounded like a thousand twinkling bells. Looking up, he saw something glitter in the night sky, but Gold wasn't sure of what it was. Ho-Oh flew over the now-quiet New Bark Town, shedding a single one of its feathers. Gold smiled as he fell asleep, unaware that the Rainbow Wing that had molted from Ho-Oh was resting inside the pocket of his jacket...
Four years later, Silver, now eleven years old, was running after Giovanni on Kanto Route 22. Silver finally caught up with Giovanni, and yelled, "You told me... you were the number one Trainer in the world! Are you really just going to quit like that? What are you going to do now?" Giovanni turned around, and after a long pause, he began, "One must acknowledge one's defeat before he can move on..." After another pause, he said, "I will go solo for now, so that one day I will form a stronger organization!" Under his breath, he muttered, "And maybe prove myself to be a better person than you think I am, Silver..." Silver, having developed an incredibly cynical worldview in the four years that had passed, harshly rebuked, "What aspect of you was number one, gathering so much only to be defeated by a mere child from Pallet Town!?" Giovanni, his face being almost unreadable, replied, "Putting together the potential of many is how you produce a huge power... that's what an organization is... that's the strength of an organization! I failed to make the best use of my subordinates' potential... but you shall witness one day the revival of me and my Team Rocket!" Silver walked closer, and yelled, "Dad, I don't understand you! You're not making any sense!" After yet another long pause, Giovanni turned his back to his son and cryptically said, "One day, you will understand..." before walking away. Clenching his fists, Silver yelled after him, "I don't want to understand you! I will never become someone like you... a coward when you're alone and acting like a tyrant when you're in front of other cowards! I will become strong! I will become an even stronger Trainer all by myself! Do you hear me?! All by myself!" Silver stormed away, while behind a tree, two children from New Bark Town of the Johto region, one with a black-and-yellow hat, and the other a girl with blue hair, watched the events unfold, with a Celebi accompanying them...
Three years passed, and Gold, now a fourteen-year old, woke up excitedly, having been tasked to run an errand for Professor Elm, the Pokémon Professor of the Johto region. Almost bolting out his bedroom door, he stopped and went back to take his lucky feather, one that had mysteriously shown up in his pocket after a stargazing session with his mother seven years ago. Once he made sure that the feather was secure in his bag, he ran down the stairs, out of the house (though not without giving his mother a hug), and towards Professor Elm's Pokémon Laboratory. Before he could go in, however, Gold spotted a mysterious red-haired teenager who looked to be the same age as him staring into the windows of Professor Elm's lab in a totally not stealthy fashion. Walking closer, Gold heard the boy mutter, "So this is the famous Elm Pokémon Lab..." Silver, turning around, saw another boy his age looking at him in a perplexed fashion, and he snapped, "What are you staring at?!" Silver shoved the boy away, who gave him a reproachful look as he walked inside the laboratory. Gold, slightly put-off by his encounter with the boy outside, entered the laboratory, calling out, "Hey, Professor!" Elm temporarily stopped what he was working on, and he greeted the teenager with a friendly handshake, saying, "Good to see you, Gold! I've been waiting for you!" Once the two of them broke the handshake, Gold asked, "So, what is it that you need me for?" Elm began, "Do you remember what I've told you about my research so far?" Gold shook his head, and Elm began, "As you know these days, Pokémon are carried in Poké Balls." As Gold nodded, Elm continued, "But before the Poké Ball was invented, people used to walk with Pokémon, just like your friend Crystal does!" Pausing to clear his throat, Elm pressed on with, "Poké Balls are great because they allow you to carry up to six Pokémon on your person, but I think walking with Pokémon must have its own merits, possibly with how Pokémon grow or evolve... so I'm going to give you a Pokémon!" Gold, in shock, exclaimed, "You are?!" "Yep!" Pausing, Elm then asked, "Can you walk the Pokémon you choose outside of its Poké Ball to see if it brings out any special bonds between Pokémon and people?" Jerking a thumb to Gold's right, he continued, "The device over there has some Pokémon that you can choose from... much like every other region in the world, they're Grass, Fire, and Water-type Pokémon that are very difficult to obtain." Before Gold could say anything, Elm's laptop let out a little chirp, indicating that he had gotten an email. Elm checked the contents of said email, and he turned back to Gold and said, "So, I have an acquaintance called Mr. Pokémon." Chuckling at the name with an amused annoyance, Elm continued, "He keeps finding peculiar things and keeps raving on about them... anyways, I just received an email from him saying that he actually found something for real this time." As Gold nodded in interest, he asked, "So what does he usually find?" "Oh, traces of Pokémon fur, Shiny Pokémon, Pokémon Eggs... speaking of Eggs, he says that he found a rare one, but since my assistant and I are incredibly busy with our research..." "Let me guess, you're asking me to go, right?" "Right on! Can I count on you?" As Gold nodded, Elm exclaimed, "That's great! You can go pick one of the three Pokémon over there." Gold walked over to the table, where three Pokémon resided next to a single Poké Ball. As Gold looked at the three, Elm, from the back, pressed, "So, will you take Chikorita, the Grass-type Pokémon, Cyndaquil, the Fire-type Pokémon, or Totodile, the Water-type Pokémon?" Gold had his left hand cupped under his chin, as he was struggling to make a decision...
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Post by Krosshair on Apr 25, 2020 20:59:31 GMT
Tales of the Nintendoverse: Sentinels of the Sea and Sky
Chapter 1: Have You Finished That Errand?
"I choose you!" The Totodile let out an excited snarl before doing a little happy dance. It then tapped on the Poké Ball, allowing itself to be captured, while the Chikorita and Cyndaquil looked at it in utter bewilderment. Gold then picked up the Poké Ball and clicked the button in the center, sending out the Totodile, who enthusiastically greeted Gold by clamping onto his bag with his jaws. After a bit of a struggle, Gold managed to pull him off before laughing and saying, "I think you and I are going to get along just fine." Elm smiled in approval and commented, "I used to have a Totodile when I was little... nice choice! Would you like to nickname him?" Gold, after thinking for a bit, nodded, and said, "I'll call him Snaggletooth." Turning around, he said, "Well, I'll be on my way, Professor!" Just as Gold was about to sprint out the door, Elm called after him, "You should go tell your mother first so that she can give you your Pokégear!" Gold almost tripped over his own feet as he stopped to give a thumbs-up, and he ran out the door and towards his house immediately after, Snaggletooth hot on his trail. Flinging the door open, he was about to run inside before remembering to slow down, and, gasping for breath, he asked, "Mom, can I get my Pokégear?" Evelyn nodded, and once she turned around, she saw that her son was now accompanied by a Totodile, and the Big Jaw Pokémon enthusiastically waved one of its tiny hands at her, causing her to happily reach out to it and say, "Welcome to the family, Totodile!" "He's called Snaggletooth, Mom." The Pokémon happily snapped something before extending the previously waving hand for a handshake. As Gold came down the stairs, his Pokégear in hand, he said, "I'll be back home once I go see Mr. Pokémon for Professor Elm's errand." Evelyn commented, "That name seems a bit on the nose, don't you think?" Gold nodded in agreement, and she pulled her son in for a hug, whispering, "Stay safe." Gold nodded before hugging her back. Gold ran out of the house, yelling to his back, "Bye, Mom!" as Snaggletooth tailed behind him. Just as Gold was about to run out of town, he slammed the metaphorical brakes and slid to a stop once he heard Professor Elm call out, "Gold!" Looking to his right, he saw Professor Elm standing outside the door of his lab holding a parcel. Scratching his head nervously as he handed the parcel of Potions to Gold, he said, "I'll just give you my Pokégear number." Gold handed Elm his Pokégear, and waited until Elm had typed in his number. Once he had done so, Elm passed the Pokégear back to Gold before informing him, "Mr. Pokémon lives in the house at the very end of Route 30, which is north of Cherrygrove City." Gold nodded in gratitude towards Professor Elm, and once the professor had gone back into his lab, Gold set off onto Route 29, ready for adventure... only to get interrupted a few steps later by Crystal, who was running towards him with a Cyndaquil accompanying her. "Gold!" Coming to a stop, Crystal asked, "Did Professor Elm show you how to capture a Pokémon?" "No, but isn't it basically 'weaken a Pokémon and then throw a Poké Ball and hope for the best?'" After a moment's silence, Crystal laughed and said, "I think you'll be fine," before passing Gold five Poké Balls. Walking back to New Bark Town, she called to her back, "Good luck!" "See you soon, Crystal!" Once she had disappeared from his line of sight, Gold caught a glimpse of where the red-haired boy had been. Much to his relief, he was nowhere to be found, and, turning around, Gold walked into the dark grass, only for a Rattata to appear and lunge at him. Snaggletooth jumped into action, using Scratch to deter the Rattata before glaring at it with Leer in an attempt to intimidate it. It worked, and the Rattata cowered slightly before attempting to Tackle Snaggletooth. Snaggletooth sidestepped the Tackle, however, and hit the Rattata with another Scratch, causing it to faint. "Ha-ha, nice job, Snaggletooth!" As Gold raised his hand for a high-five, Snaggletooth reciprocated... before jumping onto Gold's hat and pointing towards the distance. Gold chuckled before continuing his trek across Route 29, however, he took a more cautious approach, taking slow steps through the grass in an effort to lower the rate at which wild Pokémon would attack him. It worked for all of two seconds, as an irate Pidgey began squawking at Gold once he took another step. The Pidgey saw a Totodile out of the corner of its eye, and it dived talon-first at the Pokémon. Snaggletooth was caught off guard by the speed of the attack, and the Pidgey's attack hit true, pushing him back. Gold looked back at Snaggletooth, and the Pokémon nodded confidently, causing Gold to smirk and command, "Snaggletooth, use Scratch!" Snaggletooth jumped in and raked his claws across the Pidgey's chest. The Tiny Bird Pokémon used Tackle, however, it missed, and Snaggletooth retaliated with another Scratch, which felled the Pidgey. Just as Gold picked him up, Snaggletooth shot a Water Gun from his mouth in celebration, accidentally dousing Gold with a spray of freshwater. Gold laughed it off before setting Snaggletooth back down, and the two of them continued walking west. After several run-ins with a particularly persistent Sentret and a Hoothoot, which, much to Gold's annoyance, had put Snaggletooth to sleep with Hypnosis, he finally made it into Cherrygrove City. Looking behind him, he saw that Snaggletooth was still sleepwalking, and, rolling his eyes in amusement, Gold popped the little snot bubble that was coming out of Snaggletooth's nose, causing the Big Jaw Pokémon to wake up and look around in a startled fashion. Before Gold could take another step, an old man noticed him and ran over, asking, "Excuse me, young man, is this your first time here?" "Well... yes, but I'm just passing through." "Oh, well in that case, here, take this!" Gold accepted the Pokégear card that the old man gave him, and he asked, "So, what is this thing supposed to be?" "It's a Map Card! Now you can pull up a map of the Johto region on your Pokégear!" Gold, after thanking the old man, went to the Pokémon Center to heal up Snaggletooth, and then to the Poké Mart next door to buy some medicine and Poké Balls. Once he was finished with his business, he went north, ending up on Route 30, according to his newly downloaded map. Walking through another patch of tall grass, he froze upon feeling something crawl up on his leg. Parting some of the grass, he saw that there was a Caterpie crawling up his right leg. After freezing up for a moment, Gold screamed in alarm and began jumping around while shaking his right leg wildly in an effort to throw the Caterpie off him. Somehow managing to skip through the entirety of that patch of grass, Gold finally managed to shake the Caterpie off his leg, flinging it into a nearby tree, rustling it and causing a Spearow to fall out of the tree and squawk in an indignant fashion. Glaring at Gold, it ignored the perfectly vulnerable meal next to it and lunged forward using Peck, only to be deterred by a blast of water. Snaggletooth, wiping his mouth from his use of Water Gun, then used Scratch, clawing the Spearow across its face, causing it to angrily caw and attempt to peck Snaggletooth right in his eye. The Spearow then flew up into the air, cautiously watching the Totodile and its Trainer before divebombing the two of them using Drill Run, rapidly spinning like a drill and driving itself straight into the ground, throwing up a massive plume of dirt. As Gold and Snaggletooth waited for the last of the debris to settle, the Big Jaw Pokémon shot a Water Gun skywards, aiming for right where the Spearow had landed. The splash of water hit true, but unfortunately for Snaggletooth, he had accidentally freed the Spearow by softening the dirt around it, as the force of its Drill Run had caused it to get stuck in the ground. As Snaggletooth approached the small crater, the Spearow shot up, sending a small spray of muddy water, and, now flying high above the ground, it warily circled around Snaggletooth, waiting for the Totodile to make its next move. Stepping into the puddle of water, Snaggletooth shot another stream of water at the Spearow, who dodged it before letting out some taunting noises. As the Water Gun rained down in the surrounding area, the water began to suddenly rise around Snaggletooth, eventually completely encasing him in a stream of water. Gold watched in surprise as Snaggletooth achieved liftoff with Aqua Jet, taking the Spearow by surprise with his wild flight pattern and eventually ramming into it head on, knocking it out. As Snaggletooth landed, he slightly stumbled and put one of his hands on his head, having gotten vertigo midflight due to him erratically zipping around. Gold waited for Snaggletooth to recover before scooping him up into his arms and playfully asking, "So what else have you been hiding from me?" Snaggletooth shrugged, and Gold set him down before climbing up the steps to the next level of the route, the Caterpie from earlier having been completely forgotten. Walking further along the route and, much to his relief, avoiding conflicts with wild Pokémon, a kid who appeared to be about two to three years younger than Gold ran up to him, proclaiming, "I challenge you to a battle!" Gold looked to his left to see that Snaggletooth was excitedly jumping up and down, indicating that he wanted the challenge. Flashing a quick grin towards Snaggletooth, Gold turned back towards the other kid and accepted the challenge with, "You're on, er... what's your name?" "Joey!" Nodding, Gold then pointed to his front, and Snaggletooth performed a cartwheel forwards before faceplanting, but he quickly righted himself and bared his teeth. Joey yelled, "Go, Rattata!" and threw out a Fast Ball, which sent out a Rattata who looked towards Totodile before looking back at its Trainer. Looking at Gold, Joey boasted, "My Rattata is in the top percentage of all Rattata, just so you know!" Making a fist and thrusting it outwards, he commanded, "Rattata, use Flame Wheel!" "Wait, wha-" Rattata jumped up into the air, doing a somersault which created a ring of fire around it. After a bit, it dropped onto the ground, beginning to make sounds which resembled that of a tire that was burning rubber. Rattata then peeled out, heading straight for Snaggletooth. "Water Gun!" Snaggletooth cartwheeled towards his left, and the Rattata sped forwards before banking, managing to turn around and refocus on its target. Just as the Rattata was getting close, Snaggletooth unleashed Water Gun, causing a screen of steam to spontaneously erupt and obscure the combatants' vision. Both Trainers sucked in a breath out of frustration, as now their Pokémon were left to their own devices because of the steam not allowing them to see what the two Pokémon were doing. Meanwhile, in the slowly dissipating steam, Snaggletooth did a blind Scratch which didn't come close to hitting the Rattata, who retaliated with a Bite that also missed. As a result of that, both Pokémon ultimately waited for the steam to clear out before resuming their battle. Rattata lunged forward with Bite, but the Totodile somersaulted backwards a fair distance before using Aqua Jet, barreling towards Rattata while encased in a stream of water. Having no time to react, the Rattata was blasted into a nearby tree, and expended the last of its energy trying to right itself after the impact. Sighing, Joey returned Rattata, pulled out some Poké Dollars, and shook Gold's hand while handing him the money before asking, "Hey, can I get your phone number?" Before Gold could even think of an answer, Joey continued, "I'll ring you for some battles. I'm a rookie too, so I think it'd be a good motivator." Gold, after mulling it over for a bit, nodded, replying, "Eh, sure, why not." Gold handed Joey his Pokégear, and Joey typed in a number before handing it back to him, saying, "I'll call you when I want a rematch!" Waving as he walked away, the rest of Gold's trek up Route 30 was unfortunately not as smooth, having encountered another kid with a Rattata (who wasn't as friendly as Joey) and a Bug Catcher who was particularly pushy about Bug-types being the best type out of the eighteen known types. Entering a house, he was greeted by a man who rambled on about how great Apricorns were before handing Gold an Apricorn Box and advising him to shake any Apricorn Tree he found for their fruits, which were inedible for some reason. Reaching for the top of one such tree, he felt a quick jolt of pain on his hand just as he pried a blue Apricorn out of a tree. A Spinarak crawled down the trunk of the small tree and scuttled away. Looking down at his hand, Gold saw that the wound was slowly beginning to turn purple, causing him to dig through his bag for an Antidote whist Snaggletooth looked on in concern. Pulling out an Antidote, Gold sprayed the amber-colored medicine on his wound, wincing as it stung a little, but the poison began to fade away slowly but surely. Looking up, Gold saw that it was still noon, and he continued walking north until he was greeted with a fork in the road. Walking right, Gold saw that there was a house sitting at the very back. Walking up to it, he took a look at the mailbox, which read, 'Mr. Pokémon's House.' Knocking on the door, he waited for all of five second before being greeted by a middle aged man, who exclaimed, "Ah, so you must be Gold! Elm told me that you would be coming soon, come in!" Gold walked in and took a look around the house's interior, noticing all sorts of little trinkets, some Pokémon fur, and Samuel Oak at the table... Gold did a double take at that last one, exclaiming, "Wait, is that Samuel Oak?!" Mr. Pokémon nodded, proudly saying, "Yep! The one and only." Professor Oak, upon looking to his right at the shocked teenager, began, "Ah, so you're Gold! I was just passing by, and Mr. Pokémon invited me for tea. I heard from Professor Elm that you were running an errand for him, so I waited here." Looking to Gold's left, he exclaimed, "Oh! What's this? A Totodile! I see, you must be helping Professor Elm's research! I think I understand why Professor Elm gave you that Pokémon. I'm quite confident that he knows that you'll treat your Pokémon with love and care..." As Gold nodded, still star-struck, Oak continued, "You seem to be dependable. How would you like to help me out?" Gold nodded, and Oak, taking a device out of his lab coat, continued, "See? This is the latest version of the Pokédex. It automatically records data on Pokémon you've seen or caught. In layman's terms, it's a high-tech encyclopedia! I'd like you to have it. Go meet many kinds of Pokémon and complete that Pokédex!" Handing the Pokédex to Gold, who took it with shaky hands, he finished, "But I've stayed too long. I have to get to Goldenrod for my usual radio show with DJ Mary, which can be found on Station 2 of the Pokégear's radio. Gold, I have a feeling that is not the last time we'll meet... Let's exchange numbers just to be on the safe side." Gold passed his Pokégear to Oak, who entered his number and handed it back to him before saying, "If you come to Goldenrod City, be sure to drop by the Radio Tower and say hi!" Pausing, he asked himself, "That is what Blue said was 'in style' nowadays, right?" before walking out the door. Once Oak had left, Mr. Pokémon cleared his throat and asked, "Er, you came for the Egg, yes?" "Oh, right!" Mr. Pokémon passed the Egg to Gold, saying, "I got this Egg from a friend of mine who lives in Ecruteak City. I'd bet that this type of Egg is really rare!" Gold took a look at the egg, which was marked with red and blue shapes, and he muttered, "You know, these markings look familiar, but I can't exactly put my tongue on it..." Lowering the Egg to Snaggletooth's level, he asked, "Do you know?" Snaggletooth took a couple of sniffs at the Egg, and he helplessly shrugged, causing Gold to keep the Egg in an incubator he had kept in his bag for the occasion and say, "Thanks, Mr. Pokémon, I'll be on my way."
Around the same time, Silver, having snuck around the back of the Pokémon Lab, killed the lab's power by turning everything in the circuit breaker off, and once he heard the ongoing pandemonium through the walls, he ran to the front and opened the door as little as possible, slipping into the lab and waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, while Professor Elm and his assistant had already run out of the lab to restore the power. Remembering what positions the starter Pokémon were in on the table, he picked the leftmost Poké Ball because he had seen the boy from earlier walk off with a Totodile. Quickly running out of the lab, he ran onto Route 29, trying to make it to Cherrygrove City. Professor Elm turned on the circuit breaker, but once he and his assistant ran to the front, he saw that a red-haired boy was running onto Route 29 with a Poké Ball clipped onto his belt. Doing a double take, he ran inside the lab to see that all of the starter Poké Balls were gone. He had given Totodile to Gold and Cyndaquil to Crystal, but Chikorita's Poké Ball was missing as well. Running to the wall phone, he contacted the police, giving them details about the thief and where he was going, before pulling out his Pokégear and dialing Gold's number.
Gold was walking along the grass-free portion of Route 30, the incubator in hand while Snaggletooth walked by his side, when all of a sudden, his Pokégear went off. Putting the incubator in his bag, he put the Pokégear to his ear and said, "Hello?" Professor Elm's panicky voice came from the other end, frantically asking, "H-hello? This is Gold, right?" "Yes, Professor." "It's terrible! Someone just stole from the laboratory!" After a momentary pause, Gold hear Elm mutter to himself, "Oh, what should I do..." Clearing his throat, Gold asked, "Uh, Professor?" "Oh! Y-yes, Gold... please come back to New Bark Town as soon as possible!" Elm hung up, and Gold, upon putting the Pokégear away, turned to Snaggletooth and said, "Let's go," a dead serious look having made its way onto his face. Gold then sprinted away, Snaggletooth tailing just behind him...
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girl-like-substance
the seal will bite you if you give him half a chance
Posts: 527
Pronouns: xe/xem
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Post by girl-like-substance on Apr 25, 2020 23:15:16 GMT
Welcome to the forums! It’s good to have you. :> It’s been a while since I saw a novelisation kinda fic, and Johto is the best region, so I’m looking forward to seeing where you go with this. I’m getting the sense it’ll be built on the clash of these two characters, given that you start it off with a whistle-stop tour of Gold and Silver’s respective childhoods. I felt like we got a stronger sense of who Silver is than Gold, though – some stuff happened to Gold, but like, in his story, Silver was the one doing the happening, so to speak. He’s definitely the more active of the two personalities so far; Gold has been asked to do things, given a feather, but he’s not so much striking out on his own as taking requests.
Anyway! We’ve also got what looks like an interesting Team Rocket here, with a nice front organisation – several, even; a casino and an aerospace engineering company seems like a very diverse portfolio! – and, you know, a nicely themed introduction, with two kids in two regions, raised by two single parents of two different classes. Or I assumed so anyway, although like, it’s really hard to tell what’s up with Gold’s family. His mum is in her early to mid twenties, meaning she had Gold in her teens, which can’t have been easy; still, she seems to have done okay, even with a job that she presumably has to commute halfway across Johto to work at, and apparently like, has her own entire house. Maybe I’m focusing on the wrong things and we’re not meant to be wondering about the socio-economics of New Bark. Maybe the important thing is that she has a radio job, which will bring her into her son’s life further down the line, if things in Goldenrod go as I suspect they will! :>
Also, comedy pokémon constellations! Neato. Wonder what the human constellations are like in this world. Orion, Cassiopeia, those ones – probably wouldn’t be affected, but you never know. That’s not really connected to anything, but these are the questions that strike me as I read these things, I guess.
I think the other thing that struck me was that sometimes the information could’ve been introduced a bit better, if you see what I mean. For instance, you start with a long explanation of the tower story, which is information that we already know (as people who have played the games) and which doesn’t really set up for what’s to come – it isn’t necessary to have that information to appreciate what happens through the rest of this chapter.
Sometimes this tendency towards telling us everything, whether we need it or not, really works against the structure here, where you kinda flash forward through a series of vignettes in Gold and Silver’s young lives. Like, the point of something like this is to show us how these two develop, and lines like ‘Silver, having developed an incredibly cynical worldview in the four years that had passed’, kinda take the showing away from us – we can see that Silver’s got cynical from his actions here; we don’t need to be told as well.
Not a lot else to go on here … is what I wrote before I saw you’d posted another chapter while I was writing this. :V I’ll have to check that one out sometime, I guess!
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Post by Krosshair on Apr 27, 2020 5:00:16 GMT
Tales of the Nintendoverse: Sentinels of the Sea and Sky
Chapter 2: A Fateful Encounter
Gold ran back to Cherrygrove City and banked to his left to turn onto the path which would take him back to New Bark Town, only to run headlong into someone else who was sprinting down the path.
After both teenagers collided, they each took a few moments to regroup. His vision coming back into focus, Gold asked, "Geez, are you okay? That must've..." Taking a closer look, he realized, "You're the guy who was standing outside Professor Elm's lab earlier today."
Silver, glaring at the other boy, snapped, "Yeah, what about it?" Eyeing the Totodile by his side, he commented, "So you got a Pokémon from the lab as well..." Scoffing, he sneered, "What a waste of a perfectly good Pokémon." Ignoring the angry snapping noises coming from the Totodile, Silver continued, "You know, I'm really surprised that Professor Elm let a weak Trainer like you even pick a Pokémon..."
Noticing that Gold had nothing to say, Silver unclipped the Poké Ball on his belt and said, "I also got a really good Pokémon from the lab." Holding it in his left hand, he threw it while shouting, "I'll show you what I mean!"
A Chikorita came out of the Poké Ball and aggressively growled in Snaggletooth's direction before using Vine Whip. Snaggletooth nimbly danced his way through the vines and retaliated with Bite, which surprisingly managed to make the Chikorita stagger.
Looking at the way Totodile jumped around, Silver turned to Chikorita and barked, "Stop it with something!"
A weird purple glow came across Chikorita, and it unearthed several boulders before throwing them at the Totodile, who was forced to dance around the Ancient Power in such a way that resembled a dance from one of the ancient texts of Blackthorn City's elders. A veil of red and black smoke with blue lightning crackling inside it surrounded the Totodile, and once the veil faded, Chikorita noticed that the Totodile's Trainer was staring at the ongoing battle in surprise, and he turned back to see that his Trainer was also similarly caught off guard.
Gold pulled out his Pokédex to scan Snaggletooth, and the Pokédex, after its usual informatory spiel, said, "This Totodile knew Dragon Dance and Aqua Jet from its parents and it has Sheer Force as its Ability."
As soon as he heard those words, Gold began thinking to himself, "Sheer Force... what does that do again?" Upon seeing the boy's Chikorita pick up Snaggletooth with Vine Whip while the latter was in the middle of another Dragon Dance, Gold yelled, "Retreat with Aqua Jet!"
Snaggletooth encased himself in a shell of water and achieved liftoff, freeing himself from the Chikorita's clutches.
Growling in frustration, Silver commanded, "Razor Leaf!" before looking right at Gold and commenting in a backhanded fashion, "You're doing okay for someone who's weak."
Chikorita's head leaf glowed a brilliant green, and it sent a salvo of razor-sharp leaves straight at the Totodile. While he managed to dodge some of the leaves, the Totodile got hit by several of them, causing him to crash and slide along the ground. Just as Chikorita smirked triumphantly, he saw the Totodile somehow managing to push himself back up, seemingly ignoring any pain that the combination of the Razor Leaf and the crash landing had given him, causing the smirk to melt off his own face. Eyeing him with an expression of curiosity, Chikorita then asked, "What kind of nickname is Snaggletooth, anyway?"
Snaggletooth rebutted, "A very good one!" before lunging in and using Bite one last time, that last attack finally managing to fell the Chikorita. Letting out a triumphant laugh, Snaggletooth collapsed from exhaustion not long after.
Silver returned Chikorita, not even noticing that he didn't have his Trainer Card on his person as he grumbled, "Hmph! Are you happy that you won?" Clipping the Poké Ball onto his belt, he then reached into his pocket for his Trainer Card... but it wasn't in there. Looking ahead, Silver saw that the other boy was reading something small and rectangular that he had found on the ground. His eyes widening with horror, he exclaimed, "Hey, that's my Trainer Card! Give me that!" snatching the card from Gold in the process.
Silver, after pocketing the card, said to Gold, "I am going to become the strongest Pokémon Trainer in the world, you can't possibly hope to stop me." Walking north, Silver froze upon realizing, "Wait, he read my Trainer Card... that means he knows my name... Augh, damn it!"
Gold watched as the boy, who he now knew was named 'Silver,' stormed onto Route 30, before he himself went to the Pokémon Center to get Snaggletooth checked.
After an hour of waiting, Nurse Joy passed Snaggletooth's Poké Ball back to Gold, who accepted it and sent him back out. The Big Jaw Pokémon appeared no worse for wear after a bit of time with Nurse Joy and her Chansey, with the numerous cuts and bruises from his battle with the Chikorita no longer being present. Quickly thanking Nurse Joy, Gold walked out of the Pokémon Center, noticing that it was getting late, with the sun beginning to set towards the western sea of Johto.
Paying it no mind beyond that, Gold walked onto Route 29, though not before spraying a perfectly good Repel that he had found sitting on Route 30 earlier. Sighing in relief at the fact that the Sentret and Hoothoot wouldn't be annoying him on his way back, Gold ran through the tall grass, not stopping until he saw the familiar sight of Professor Elm's Pokémon Lab, though Crystal and Professor Elm were currently talking with a policeman.
The policeman, upon hearing someone step towards him from the distance, spun around and shone his flashlight directly at the source of the footsteps, who threw up their hands to shield their eyes. Lowering the flashlight, he saw that it was actually a teenager and his Totodile. Turning to Elm, he asked, "You said it was a Chikorita he stole?" Elm nodded, and he turned back to the kid and asked, "Did you happen to see a red-haired boy with a Chikorita?"
Gold, remembering his encounter with Silver all too well, nodded, and the policeman asked, "Did you manage to get a name?"
"Yeah. His name was Silver."
Nodding, the policeman shook Gold and Elm's hands before walking back to his post at Route 29's northern checkpoint.
Changing the topic, Gold said, "Oh yeah, here's the Egg, Professor."
Elm accepted the Egg, incubator and all, saying, "Thank you, Gold... man, that whole debacle was terrible." Taking a closer examination of the Egg, he remarked, "I must give Mr. Pokémon credit, though, he really did find a rare Egg, I've never seen these markings before... I'll just study this Egg until-" Elm cut himself off once he noticed the red item sticking out of Gold's pocket, and he asked, "Arceus above, is that a Pokédex?!"
Gold nodded and said, "Yeah, Professor Oak gave one to me at Mr. Pokémon's house..."
"That's incredible! You know, I have a suggestion... since your Pokémon really like you," gesturing to Snaggletooth dancing around Gold for added emphasis on his statement, Elm continued, "I really think that you should take on the Johto Gym challenge!"
Snaggletooth stopped dancing around and looked at the professor with a curious expression. Looking down at Snaggletooth, Elm nodded and reiterated, "Yep, that's right, the Johto Gym challenge!" Looking back at Gold, he remarked, "I think you have the right aptitude with Pokémon, considering how much Snaggletooth likes you... I should warn you, though, defeating the Gym Leaders won't be an easy feat!"
Gold, after mulling it over, nodded, saying, "I'll go to Violet City's Gym and see how I feel about doing this."
Elm then asked, "Actually, if you're going to try and fill the Pokédex for Professor Oak, could you also catch some wild Pokémon and try walking with them to help further my research?"
"Will do, Professor."
"Great! Just make sure you tell your mother before you leave, though."
Gold nodded before running out of the lab, Snaggletooth in tow, reaching his house in a few seconds. Once inside, he told his mother, "Mom, I'm going to do the Johto Gym challenge."
Evelyn, after a moment, said, "Okay... but you'll also need someone to manage your finances, too! How about... every time you reach a Pokémon Center, why don't you send me say... twenty percent of your earnings then?"
Gold nodded, but not before remarking, "It's not like I spend my money on anything, really..."
Evelyn laughed before saying, "But you will need to spend it on medicine for your Pokémon as well as resources for your journey, right?" As her son considered that, she continued, "I'll save it for you and occasionally send you some supplies using my own funds-"
"Mom, you don't need to spend your own money on me... just spend what you have of my money if you want to give me stuff on my journey."
It was then that Evelyn pulled her son into a hug, saying, "I'm so proud of you."
Gold hugged her back tighter, saying, "Love you too, Mom, I'll be sure to call." Gold was then given two books, causing him to ask, "What are these for?"
"Oh, one's a handbook on Abilities just in case you're not sure on what they do, and the other's a documentation of all the Egg Moves a Pokémon can learn. Just thought that you might need them just in case."
That last comment reminded Gold that he needed to ask Professor Elm some questions about Snaggletooth, and he took the books before walking out of the house and saying, "Bye, Mom!"
Closing the door, Gold walked back to Elm's lab. Once he entered the laboratory, he went to Elm, who was conducting research upon the Egg, and asked, "Hey, Professor, I have some questions before I leave." As he sat down in a nearby chair, Snaggletooth jumped onto Gold's lap before the latter began, "So, when I was battling the thief- er, Silver," slightly waving his hand to indicate that it was a distinction without a difference, Gold continued, "I ended up using the Pokédex to scan Snaggletooth after he had used Dragon Dance, and I found out that not only were that and Aqua Jet Egg Moves, but that he also had Sheer Force as an Ability instead of Torrent." Looking at Elm, he asked, "How did you get this set of starters?"
Elm sighed, and began, "Well, there was a rather haughty Kalosian who said she had come down to Johto in order to make use of the Day Care on Route 34, you know, the one owned by Crystal's grandparents?" As Gold nodded, Elm continued, "Apparently, she had bred many starters and hatched a good amount of them, but I guess she wasn't satisfied with some of them, so one day she came down to the lab with three Poké Balls and said that they were, and I quote, 'useless breeding rejects.' Those were the three starters who were all either given away or stolen today."
Gold looked furious upon hearing those words, and he exclaimed, "That's ridiculous!"
"I know it is, Gold, but those were her words, not mine, and besides, she's probably back in Kalos now, so it's kind of pointless to go after her."
Gold deflated, saying, "It would've been nice to get some payback for her treating Snaggletooth as if he were some experiment, but I guess you're right..."
"Anyways, it's getting quite late, why don't you hurry up to Cherrygrove City and spend the night in a Pokémon Center?" Professor Elm reached onto his shelf and retrieved the last Repel, saying, "Here, use it so that you don't run into any trouble along the way."
Gold thanked Professor Elm before walking out of the laboratory and onto Route 29, spraying the Repel so that he wouldn't run into another Hoothoot. Once he made it into Cherrygrove City, he walked into the Pokémon Center and checked in for the night, making sure to give Nurse Joy a tip as thanks for healing Snaggletooth earlier.
Once he was dressed for sleep, Gold pulled out the empty Badge Case that Professor Elm had given to him. He remembered that Elm had said that it was the first one he had given out in years, and he turned to Snaggletooth, who was sleeping on a small mattress, before tiredly saying, "Hey, buddy."
Snaggletooth opened one eye idly and looked at Gold, who continued, "We're gonna win this together, right? You, me, and five other teammates..."
Gold lowered his hand to Snaggletooth's level for a high-five, and Snaggletooth reciprocated before going back to sleep.
Smiling, Gold pulled his lucky feather out of his bag to take a look at it before putting it back in and going to sleep, dreaming of becoming the Champion...
The next morning, Gold woke up and stretched his arms, letting out a loud yawn, while on the mattress, Snaggletooth did the same.
After showering and changing into his clothes, which had been washed by Nurse Joy's Chansey in the middle of the night, Gold and Snaggletooth walked out of their room and checked out before leaving the Pokémon Center, and subsequently, Cherrygrove City once they stepped onto Route 30.
After several close calls regarding a clutter of Spinarak and a loveliness of Ledyba, Gold climbed up the stairs at the end of the route, upon which he was greeted by a sign that said 'Route 31.' Walking through the tall grass, with Snaggletooth riding on top of his hat, he crossed through the patch of grass, though not without the occasional Rattata trying to attack him, but Snaggletooth kept them at bay with blasts of Water Gun. Once he was finally out of the tall grass, Gold noticed that someone was giving him an odd look, but he paid no attention to that person, and was instead about to enter the Dark Cave, only for said person to say, "Excuse me, young man!"
Gold looked behind him to see the same person running up to him. He felt a massive burden suddenly come off his head, as Snaggletooth had jumped off his hat and was now on the ground, and the man asked him, "Do you have a Pokémon that knows Flash?"
Gold shook his head, and the man continued, "I'm sorry, but you can't enter the Dark Cave then. It's too dark to navigate unless you have either a Pokémon that knows Flash or a Silph Scope."
The mention of that last item triggered something from Gold's memory, and he asked, "Didn't the Silph Company close down like two years ago?"
Lowering his voice to a whisper, the man said, "Yeah, but their products are still on the black market." His voice returning to normal, he continued, "If anyone asks, you heard nothing, got it?"
Raising an eyebrow, Gold said, "Uh... sure, I'll just be going west then."
"Violet City?"
Gold nodded.
"The Johto Gym challenge?"
Gold nodded again and walked away without saying a word, thoroughly confused by the whole encounter.
The man walked back to the Dark Cave, where an indignant voice said, "Great, you just had to tell the kid about the Silph Scope, huh?"
"As if he knows what we're really using the damn thing for!"
"Anyways... gotcha!"
The person using the Silph Scope tossed a Poké Ball at something in the dark, and a Gastly let out a surprised hiss as it was sucked into the Poké Ball. Due to it having no time to react, it was caught, and the man said, "Perfect, now we don't have to rely on Zubat all the damn time."
The other man's walkie-talkie went off, and after listening for a bit, he said, "Uh-huh," before looking into the cave and saying, "Proton's calling for us back in Azalea Town. How many Ghost-types did you get?"
"Um... three Duskull, two Gastly, and a Misdreavus. This Silph Scope works wonders!"
"Okay, stop screwing around in there and let's haul ourselves over to Azalea Town."
Gold, meanwhile, performed a flourish with his left arm and said, "Snaggletooth, use Bite!
Snaggletooth clamped down on the Butterfree's wing, and afterwards, Gold commanded, "Water Gun!"
Unleashing a stream of water from his mouth, Snaggletooth ended up dousing the Butterfree and knocking it out, though not before going into a sneezing fit because of all the powder that had been blasted his way earlier courtesy of the Butterfree.
The Bug Catcher returned his Butterfree with a sigh, remarking, "Well, that's that, I guess..." before handing Gold the requisite prize money.
Gold then began to wade his way through the grass, and he finally managed to make it to the checkpoint between Route 31 and Violet City after several close calls with a Hoothoot that was diurnal for some reason.
As Gold sat on a bench in the checkpoint (with Snaggletooth mimicking him), thoroughly exhausted, a person in a lab coat who was holding a container asked, "Excuse me, you are Gold, yes?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Professor Elm told me to deliver this to you." The assistant thrust the container into Gold's hands before walking away. Much to Gold's surprise, it was the same Egg that he had given to Professor Elm just yesterday, markings and all. Tucking the container underneath his arm, Gold turned to Snaggletooth and said, "Alright, looks like we'll be going to our first Gym soon!"
Snaggletooth snapped excitedly, and they walked towards the Violet City Gym, only to be greeted by an official of the Johto Pokémon League, who said, "Yo! How's it going, champ-to-be? Unfortunately, the Gym's closed for an hour because Falkner's on his lunch break, so why don't you take a tour of the city instead?" Pointing to his right, the official continued, "The Trainers' School is that way! There, you can learn about the various nuances of Pokémon battles, up to and including status moves, statuses, entry hazards, and more! If you go to the top of the town, you can find the Sprout Tower, a place where ascetics learn to coexist with Pokémon much like how Pokémon and people work together in the Unova region. I hear the monks in there are quite strong trainers in this city aside from the Gym Leader himself!"
"...I think I'll be going to the Trainer's School."
"Excellent choice for someone who I assume will be taking on the Johto Gym challenge!"
Gold walked to the Trainer's School, where upon entering, he walked to the nearest bookshelf and took out a book titled 'On Pokémon and Their Moves,' sitting down in a chair while Snaggletooth peered over his shoulder in interest. Much to his surprise, the book had been scrawled all over in pen, with not a single page being free of ink. The page for Stealth Rock in particular had notes upon notes on the page, with stuff such as 'use Ghost-types to block Rapid Spin,' 'Palossand and Golurk are the only non-Legendaries who can block Rapid Spin and set up Stealth Rock,' and 'watch out for Excadrill or Forretress in particular.'
Deciding that the book would be worth keeping, Gold walked up to the teacher and asked, "Excuse me, how much does it cost to buy a book from here?"
The teacher, upon inspecting the book, returned it to Gold, saying, "You can take it, it's been vandalized to a such ridiculous extent that selling it would honestly be robbery."
Gold slipped the book into his backpack, placing it next to the two his mother had given him, and walked out of the Trainer's School before going towards the Sprout Tower.
Several very monotonous battles later, Gold collapsed after finally climbing up to the top of the Sprout Tower, reminding himself that he needed to get better at climbing stuff soon. Crawling over to a bust of a Bellsprout and then standing up, Gold heard an elderly voice tell someone, "You have showed us your battling prowess, and it is indeed a force to be reckoned with... take this Technical Machine!"
After a pause, the person continued, "However, you should show your Pokémon some love and respect, the way you treat your Pokémon is incredibly harsh and unbefitting of a truly good Trainer. Remember, Pokémon are not tools of war, they are our friends and lifelong companions."
A snide voice that Gold recognized from the previous night said, "Hmph. He calls himself the Elder of the Sprout Tower... what a joke! Those who lecture how you should be 'nice' to Pokémon cannot defeat me. Only the strongest Pokémon are important. The rest are useless to me." Gold found that Silver was now standing in front of him, and the latter huffed, "What do you want?" before roughly pushing past Gold and heading down the ladder that Gold had just come up from.
Wondering what that guy's deal was, Gold walked up to the Elder, who asked, "Ah, so you have come here to train as well?" Gold nodded, and the Elder continued, "The goal of Sprout Tower's teachings is to create bonds between people and Pokémon so that they can form a bright future together. I am the Elder of the Sprout Tower... allow me to analyze the ties between you and your Pokémon!"
Gold pointed forwards, and Snaggletooth, instead of doing a cartwheel, leaped forwards and struck a pose, managing to actually stick the landing that time. The Elder threw out a Poké Ball, and out of it came a Bellsprout, who for some odd reason, swayed to the left and right in rhythm with the Sprout Tower's support beam. Pushing his thoughts of confusion aside, Gold pointed his right hand outwards, commanding, "Snaggletooth, use Bite!"
The Elder tapped his cane to his right side, and Bellsprout moved in that direction, causing the Totodile's attack to miss.
Caught off guard by the unexpectedness of the technique, Gold slightly adjusted his hat before saying, "Dragon Dance!"
Snaggletooth did a frenetic dance all while a red and black veil surrounded him, and once said dance was done, he started moving faster. Realizing that Snaggletooth now had an opportunity to attack, Gold extended his left hand forwards and yelled, "Use Aqua Jet!"
Snaggletooth encased himself in a stream of water and charged right at the Bellsprout, who was caught off guard and promptly swamped by a ballistic Totodile and a large amount of water.
The Elder, Li, simply commanded, "Sludge Bomb."
As it turned out, Snaggletooth still had trouble when it came to stopping on a dime with Aqua Jet, and he found that he was right on top of the Bellsprout, who hit him with a point-blank Sludge Bomb and sent him flying back towards Gold. As Snaggletooth attempted to get up, he fell to his knees, and behind him, Gold recognized that he had a purple tint on his face, indicating that he had been poisoned. Fighting against both the pain of the attack and the residual damage done to him via the poison, Snaggletooth pushed himself back up and desperately lunged forward with Bite, that time managing to catch the Bellsprout off guard, knocking it out in the process.
Unfazed, the Elder sent out his Hoothoot, and watched as the Totodile slowly took more damage, waiting to see how the Trainer would react.
Gold, after an agonizing debate on whether he should continue the battle or see Snaggletooth faint, sprayed Snaggletooth's poisoned bruise with an Antidote, mumbling to himself, "Why did I forget about these?"
Snaggletooth's posture straightened up a little, and he stared straight at the Hoothoot... which was a very bad idea, as it had just began using Hypnosis. After a bit, Snaggletooth's eyelids started to feel heavy, and he fell asleep while still standing.
The Elder then said, "Peck."
Hoothoot lunged forward with a peck, but the Totodile simply weaved out of the way... while its eyes were still closed.
Gold stared in shock before realizing, "He's sleepwalking..." With a hint of uncertainty present in his voice, he called out, "Uh... Sleep Talk?"
Snaggletooth mumbled something in his sleep, which caused the Hoothoot to tilt its head and ask, "Are you okay?"
The response Hoothoot got was a leaping Bite.
Li had a surprised look on his face as Hoothoot actually appeared to be staggered by the blow, but he recollected himself and said, "Confusion!"
Hoothoot's eyes glowed a luminescent blue, and it lifted the Totodile up and slammed it on the ground, finally managing to knock it out.
Sighing, Gold began to fish through his bag for some money, only to see that the Elder had given Snaggletooth a Revive, causing him to weakly stir. The Elder handed Snaggletooth back to Gold, saying, "Your bond with your Pokémon is much better than that of the previous boy... you understand that Pokémon are companions, not weapons. Even though you lost the battle, you have proven that you have potential as both a Trainer and a person." Digging through a pocket in his robe, Li handed Gold a TM, continuing, "That Technical Machine contains the move Flash. You can use the move to either blind opponents or illuminate dark areas."
"Thanks." With that, Gold left the Sprout Tower by climbing down three flights of ladders, though not before giving the Elder 500 Poké Dollars due to him having won the match.
Later, after a quick trip to the Pokémon Center, Gold, with Snaggletooth occupying the seat next to him, asked, "Do you want to go challenge the Gym?"
Snaggletooth curled his hands into fists and let out a noise of excitement, indicating that he was ready to fight again.
Chuckling, Gold stood up and walked towards the now-open Violet City Gym, where the Pokémon League official from earlier was now standing outside, and once Gold got close, the man said, "Yo, champ-in-the-making! Wanna hear some advice?" Gold nodded, and the official continued, "Falkner is a master of Flying-type Pokémon, who, while not as durable as other Pokémon, are incredibly fast and powerful, so a few stray hits could possibly ground you for good! However, you can either clip or ice his wings with Electric or Ice-type attacks, or knock him out of the sky with a well-placed Rock-type move!"
Gold entered the Gym and stepped onto the lone wooden tile on the floor, Snaggletooth not far behind him. Once he and Snaggletooth were on the tile, Snaggletooth accidentally stepped on a button, and Gold yelled in alarm when all of a sudden, the platform shot up at such a speed that Gold and Snaggletooth were pressed down flat onto the platform, and once it stopped, Gold looked around to make sure that the platform wasn't moving anymore. Once he was sure of it, he let out a shaky sigh of relief and helped Snaggletooth up before looking forward.
Across a support beam that had two Bird Keepers on it, Falkner, the Gym Leader of Violet City, stood on an elevated platform, staring right at Gold, almost as if he were daring him to challenge him.
Gold decided to go with the fastest route possible, the one through the center, and after two swift battles with the first Bird Keeper's Spearow and the second's two Pidgey, Gold found himself standing right in front of Falkner, who, after greeting Gold, pulled a lever on his platform, and the roof split open while the platform slowly rose up to the roof level.
Falkner then stepped onto the arena that had been built on the roof, and Gold did the same, Snaggletooth accompanying him onto the other end of said arena.
After a bit of a dramatic pause, Falkner, the wind lightly tousling his hair, said, "I'm Falkner, the Violet City Gym Leader! People tend to give me a bad rep—Janine of Kanto especially—but don't underestimate the sheer power and grace that a Flying-type Pokémon possesses!" Looking at his challenger, he yelled, "You ready?"
"Ready! Go, Snaggletooth!"
Snaggletooth hopped forwards and snarled, the playful glint in his eyes having been replaced with an unbreakable determination.
Falkner unclipped one of two Poké Balls on his belt, and clicked the button on the capsule, saying, "It's go time, Starly!"
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Dtmahanen
Witnessing (and participating in) shenanigans
Posts: 123
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Post by Dtmahanen on Apr 30, 2020 1:25:48 GMT
We've seen PMD stories. We've seen journey-fics as far as the eye can see.
But Giovanni as a family man?! Now that's a new one.
Welcome to the forums, Krosshair! This review will just cover the prologue of the story, as it seems more than meaty enough for me to take a crack at. Right away, the introduction of Ho-Oh and the legendary beasts suggests that wherever this tale is going to go, there will absolutely be a sense of epic proportions to it, especially considering that in this version, Gold is blessed by the bird itself. Touched by destiny at the age of seven. What a world we live in, huh?
Then we get to what I feel is the most fascinating part of the chapter, that being Giovanni. Like I said before, this is a bit of a different take on the man then is often presented. In most interpretations, he's usually portrayed as an emotionless, sadistic person, so this is actually rather refreshing. It actually makes the interaction he has with Silver after the time jump a little more emotional than if he was this emotionless butthead. (Side note, but I get the sense that Silver's still gonna be a butthead, but I think that has to be one of those eternally unchanging things about him. Makes him more fun.)
Aside from all of that, things seem pretty standard for now! (I do like the international touch that you've given to Team Rocket. Makes them seem like more of a threat.) I'm definitely looking forward to seeing how this goes!
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Post by Krosshair on May 2, 2020 0:20:27 GMT
Tales of the Nintendoverse: Sentinels of the Sea and Sky
Chapter 3: The Wonders of an Interconnected World
Gold stared in surprise as the small Sinnoh-native bird emerged from the Poké Ball, and he asked, "How did you manage to find one of those?" Falkner casually replied, "Oh, it turns out that there's a small flock of Starly that lives in Kanto, specifically in Pewter City, so I went there one day to capture one!" Shuddering from memories of his numerous failed attempts to catch even one of them, he muttered to himself, "Why did I go on the day the Staraptor had to come by?" Gold gave Falkner a thoroughly stumped look before pumping his fist and commanding, "Aqua Jet!" Snaggletooth achieved liftoff and gunned straight for the Starly, who banked out of the way before retaliating with Quick Attack, managing to hit Snaggletooth rather hard and forcing him to retreat, causing Gold to remark, "Geez, how hard does your Starly hit?!" From the other side of the battlefield, Falkner called out, "Starly are known for their unusually high power compared to the other regional birds!" Swiping one of his arms to the side in a dramatic fashion, he called out, "Take Down!" Starly gave chase to the retreating Totodile, who disengaged its Aqua Jet and cartwheeled to the left, causing her to crash into the ground due to her having missed with Take Down. Pushing herself back up with her wings, she took flight again, though not as swiftly as before due to a combination of both the crash and the recoil damage from using the move. Trying to recollect her bearings, Starly was clipped by a blast of water which came from below, and when she managed to recover from that, she realized that the Totodile was trying to discourage her from doing another diving run by harassing her with repeated blasts of Water Gun. On the ground, Snaggletooth had worked out a plan to keep her away while presenting minimal risk for himself, given that the one move that the Starly had hit him with, Quick Attack, felt like it had tackled him while wearing a vest full of bricks. Shooting a Water Gun upwards, he heard a surprised chirp, indicating that he had managed to hit the Starly in some way. Shooting three more geysers of water in rapid succession, he then took off using Aqua Jet once again, striking the Starly from behind and retreating to the ground once he had gotten his one strike in. Down on the ground, Falkner yelled, "Wing Attack!" Starly's wings began to glow white, and she dived down and slapped the Totodile with one of her wings, causing it to flip over and faceplant from how hard it had been hit. Snaggletooth, a bruise the size of a Rawst Berry beginning to form on his face, pushed himself back up with an angry expression. Jumping forward, he clawed at the Starly in a reckless fashion with Scratch, only for it to dodge and use Take Down in retaliation. Snaggletooth jumped over the Starly before clamping down on one of its wings with Bite. Starly shrieked in pain before trying its hardest to shake off the Totodile, eventually resorting to slapping it again with Wing Attack. The Totodile looked at her before panting out, "Geez... you have a really reckless fighting style..."
Starly rolled her eyes, sarcastically grumbling, "Never heard that pun before..."Behind her, Falkner, ready to unleash his trump card, smirked and said, "Attract." Using the wing that was not bitten, Starly blew a kiss towards the Totodile, a pink heart floating towards it. Gold, a worried tone present in his voice, called out, "Don't let that hit you!" Snaggletooth complied, and he leaped over the heart before activating Aqua Jet up close, giving the Starly no time to react as he tackled it into the ground, throwing up a spray of water that both Falkner and Gold shielded themselves from. When the last of the dust cleared, it was revealed that the Starly was out cold, that last Aqua Jet being the tipping point in regards to its endurance. Sighing as he recalled Starly, Falkner asked, "How much have you trained your Totodile?" "Um... one day?" "It's remarkable that he's this intuitive with only that amount of training, if I'm being honest..." Shaking his head, he unclipped the second Poké Ball and boasted, "This is my ace Pokémon, it's gonna take a little more than that display to defeat him!" Unclipping the Poké Ball, Falkner tossed it, yelling, "Go, Pidgeotto!" The Normal/Flying-type Pokémon materialized in a flash and let out a screech before diving right for the Totodile, who jumped away and shot a Water Gun at him in order to create distance between the two of them. Shaking his head to dry himself, Pidgeotto began flapping his wings rapidly, and the resulting Gust forced the Totodile onto all fours, spread eagle on the ground. Taking advantage of that, Pidgeotto stopped using Gust and snatched up the Totodile in his talons before taking off. Down on the ground, Gold watched with a worried expression on his face, frantically thinking, "What do I do?" A hint of desperation having crept its way into his voice, he called out, "Use Aqua Jet to break free!" A squawk of surprise from up above in addition to a light spray of water raining from above indicated that Snaggletooth had broken free, and sure enough, Snaggletooth was zipping towards the ground, the Pidgeotto in hot pursuit. Landing on the ground and sliding forwards a fair distance, Snaggletooth then shot a Water Gun behind him, and the Pidgeotto spluttered before firing off a Twister, the funnel of Dragon-type wind gunning straight for the Water-type. Snaggletooth cartwheeled away from the wind and used Aqua Jet, ramming into the Pidgeotto, and once he finished his attack, he began to use Dragon Dance, the veil of smoke obscuring him from the Pidgeotto's line of sight. As Pidgeotto attempted to get a visual through the smoke, he was caught off guard by the Totodile suddenly leaping up and using Scratch, which actually hurt thanks to the Dragon Dance having augmented its power. Falkner, his hand having been forced, called out, "Retreat and use Roost!" Pidgeotto attempted to do so, but the direction he was trying to head was suddenly cut off by Water Gun, followed by another one being fired right at his underside. Snaggletooth then charged through his own Water Gun with Aqua Jet, ramming into the Pidgeotto head on and clumsily landing immediately after. His landing, however, was almost graceful compared to the Pidgeotto's, who had just simply crashed onto the ground with a cringe-inducing cracking noise, clearly out of energy. "That's the battle!" Falkner returned his Pidgeotto just as he said those words, and, looking at Gold, he fished something out of his pocket and tossed it over to him, calling out, "You've earned it!" Gold caught the item out of the air, and upon opening his hand, he saw that it was a badge which looked an awful lot like a pair of wings. From the other side of the battlefield, he heard Falkner call out, "It's the Zephyr Badge! And also..." Falkner walked to the other side of the battlefield and handed Gold a Technical Machine, saying, "It's Roost! In case you're worrying about durability, don't worry, all of the world's TMs get made in Unova now, because they somehow managed to fix the one-use issue that plagued the models from that were made in here, Kanto, Sinnoh, and Hoenn, so feel free to use it as many times as you see fit." Gold put the Zephyr Badge in his Badge Case and accepted the TM, though not without saying, "It's nice and all, but I don't have a Pokémon that can learn Roost..." "Say, is that an incubator that you have in your bag?" Gold pulled out the incubator which housed the Egg that Professor Elm had entrusted him with, and Falkner, immediately recognizing what type of Egg it was, laughed and said in a cryptic fashion, "Don't worry, I have the feeling that you'll have one soon..." before pulling the lever to go back down to his normal podium in the Gym, leaving a thoroughly confused Gold to pick up Snaggletooth and walk down a nearby set of stairs which took him to the ground floor, where the Pokémon League official congratulated him on his victory in an overly exuberant fashion. Gold smiled back before walking out of the Violet Gym and towards the Pokémon Center, though not before he was suddenly caught off guard by something burrowing out of the ground. The Sandshrew stared at the human threateningly before attempting to peel out with Rollout, though a blast of water from above put a stop to it. Gold flashed a thumbs-up to Snaggletooth before hurriedly throwing a Poké Ball at the Sandshrew, who was too surprised to resist capture. Gold picked up the Poké Ball in surprise and walked to the Pokémon Center to heal up both Snaggletooth and his new capture. Once he had done so, he set off for the city's southern exit, intending to head to Azalea Town for his next Gym Battle, as he had made calls to both Professor Elm and his mother while he was at the Pokémon Center to inform them that he would be doing the full Gym challenge (much to their approval). Entering the checkpoint that lead to Route 32, Gold noticed what looked like a TM sticking out from behind a flowerpot, and he excitedly picked up his find to see what Technical Machine it was. However, his hopes plummeted faster than an Archeops who had fully entered Defeatist once he saw that there was a label on said device which read, 'Rock Smash.' With a disappointed sigh, Gold placed the Hidden Machine on the desk of the checkpoint attendant, grumbling, "Someone lost this HM..." before walking out onto Route 32. There, he heard a voice call out, "Hey!" Gold looked over to see a teenager who appeared to be around his age wearing a loud Alolan tank top and white shorts approach him and ask, "Hey, how's a battle sound right now?" Reaching onto his belt for Sandshrew's Poké Ball, Gold nodded, and the other Trainer reached for a Poké Ball in his pocket. Tapping on the Poké Balls, causing them to grow in size, both trainers simultaneously shouted, "Go, Sandshrew!" Gold's Sandshrew materialized in a flash, and, on the other side of a field, an Alolan Sandshrew, with a shell of pure-white ice encasing its more fragile skin, stared at its Kantonian counterpart in awe. The Kantonian Sandshrew did the same, approaching with a curious expression in its eyes. Both Trainers stared at the two Pokémon in awe, and after a moment of silence, they simultaneously asked, "Wanna trade?" The two of them quickly returned their Pokémon and ran to the Violet City Pokémon Center to finalize the trade, and once it was done, the other Trainer said, "There! That should take care of any issues regarding official trade." Extending a hand, the boy said, "My name's Elio, by the way." Gold looked at the Moon Ball in his right hand and extended his left, replying, "Gold," before realizing that he had extended the wrong hand. Sheepishly clipping the Moon Ball onto his belt and extending his right hand, Gold shook it, asking, "You own a Pokégear?" "Yep! I'm visiting from Alola, and to be honest, Johto is so weird! I lived in Kanto for about six months before moving to Alola when I was one..." Gold laughed and asked, "Must be a real shock to see Gyms for real, huh?" Elio nodded, and took Gold's Pokégear when he handed it to him. Once he had entered his number, Elio passed his own Pokégear to Gold so that he could do the same. Once that whole exchange was done, Gold called out, "Keep in touch!" as he ran out of the Pokémon Center and back out onto Route 32. Sitting at a nearby tree, Gold unclipped the Moon Ball from his belt and sent out the Sandshrew, which Elio had nicknamed 'Frostbite.' Frostbite, upon being sent out, stretched out her arms... and failed miserably while doing so. A Totodile approached her from her right, and in a raspy voice, it cheerfully said, "Hi, I'm Snaggletooth! What's your name?""...Frostbite.""Ooh, that's a cool name!" Frostbite let out a small giggle at the unintentional pun as she heard Snaggletooth hammily proclaim, "We're gonna be unstoppable!" as he struck a pose which pointed south, causing her to laugh even more. Gold pulled out his Pokédex and scanned Frostbite with it. After it registered the Pokémon, the electronic encyclopedia said its usual informatory spiel before saying, "This Sandshrew is a regional variant which originated in Alola, specifically from the caves of Mount Lanakila. It knows Ice Shard, Metal Claw, and Icy Wind, and has Slush Rush as its Ability." "Slush Rush, huh? Never heard of that one before..." Gold pulled out the book on Abilities and flipped over to the 'S' section, and upon reading it, he muttered, "Pokémon with this Ability move faster in chilly climates... especially useful since most Ice-types are slow, making them easy prey." Closing the book, Gold pulled out a notepad from his bag and jotted down a reminder to purchase the Technical Machine for Hail as soon as possible. Turning to Snaggletooth, he said, "It's nothing personal, but I'm going to recall you into your Poké Ball for a while. I'd really like to get to know this Sandshrew- erm, Frostbite, sorry." Snaggletooth, while he knew that his Trainer wouldn't understand him, replied, "Okay! No hard feelings!" before pushing the button on his Poké Ball, returning to the confines of the capsule. Gold attempted to lift up Frostbite like he had done with Snaggletooth earlier, except that he couldn't even get her a few centimeters off the ground, causing him to give up on the effort and instead walk normally, with Frostbite tailing behind him. After a few steps, Gold ran into a patch of tall grass that was near a Trainer who was idly tossing a Poké Ball in his left hand while checking his Pokégear, and Gold began tiptoeing through the grass in an effort to not disturb the Trainer, lest he be challenged to yet another battle in the last two hours. Hearing something rustle in the grass, Gold saw that the Trainer was looking around for the source of the rustling, which made him panic and drop to the grass' level so that he could crawl through it like the character in that cool stealth/action video game his older brother played whenever he came home from his station in Unova. As the thought came over him, Gold began wondering how his brother would react to him taking on the Johto Gym challenge, and the thought distracted him long enough that he bumped headlong into the stump of a tree, causing him to exclaim, "Ow!" The shout caught the attention of a nearby wild Ekans, who slithered over to examine the source of the noise. Once it saw that it was a human who was rubbing his head in pain, it coiled up cautiously and took a look at the human's Pokémon. It appeared to look like a Sandshrew... except it had a thick shell of ice on its back. Hissing, the Ekans asked the Sandshrew look-alike, "Are you really a Sandshrew? The ones here don't look like that..."Frostbite explained, "I'm from Alola.""Alola? Where's that?""Somewhere close to Unova."Mulling on that thought, the Ekans asked, "Hmm... what is your type, if you don't mind me asking?""Ice and Steel, why?"The Ekans balked, before exclaiming, "Steel?! Nope, I'm outta here."Frostbite watched the Ekans slither away with a confused expression on her face, and she heard a groan from behind her. Gold, sitting down while rubbing his head, groggily groaned, "What happened?" before noticing a Mareep that had approached him and was currently sniffing him out of curiosity. Scrambling backwards, he collided with the tree again, catching its attention. Noticing that the Mareep's wool was sparking with static electricity, Gold, ignoring his head's metaphorical cries of pain, pointed at it, and commanded, "Frostbite, Ice Shard!" Frostbite generated several baseball-sized chunks of ice and hurled them at the Mareep, who ended up taking some hard blows right to its unprotected face. As it stumbled back, Gold called, "Icy Wind, then Metal Claw!" Frostbite then sent a gust of chilly wind the Mareep's way... which didn't work as well as she expected it to because of its thick coat of wool. Undeterred, she then leaped at the Mareep and began clawing at it relentlessly, finally managing to knock it out, though not without accidentally touching its static-laden wool. The Mareep's Ability, Static, then took hold, and a wave of electricity rippled over her body, indicating that she had been paralyzed. Gold noticed, quickly beginning to fish through his bag for a Paralyze Heal, and once he pulled out a spray bottle which contained a substance that looked like lemonade, he sprayed that onto Frostbite, curing her. Standing back up, Gold walked down a set of stairs and found himself on a boardwalk of sorts. Trying his best to ignore both the creaks that the planks made whenever he took a step, Gold walked down the path, only to be accosted by a fisherman towards the end of the plank, who looked at him and asked, "Hey kid, wanna battle?" Gold, though he wanted to get to the Pokémon Center quickly so that he could call his older brother, nodded, and said, "You're on. Frostbite, center stage!" Frostbite walked forward and gestured with her claws in an attempt to appear tough to whatever Pokémon the Trainer would send out, though that would prove unnecessary when the fisherman sent out a Magikarp that just splashed around helplessly on the boardwalk. Gold gave the fisherman an unamused look before telling Frostbite to just wrap it up with Metal Claw, and she did, knocking out the Magikarp in one hit. The fisherman paid Gold the requisite prize money, and the latter continued his trek down Route 32. Much to his relief, he eventually saw the roof of a Pokémon Center through the trees, and he ran through them, making sure to avoid waking up any sleeping Spearow. Entering the Pokémon Center, Gold ran over to the phone that was usually located upstairs in the Communications Center, and he dialed the number of his brother's station.
Meanwhile, in Castelia City, Ray, a rising standout in the Unovan police force, high-fived his Krookodile and picked up the phone that was ringing on his desk, asking, "How'd you get this number?" "Ray?" His disposition brightening immediately, Ray exclaimed, "Gold! How're you doing, Lil' Bro?" "Doing good! How's Unova been?" Laughing, Ray answered, "It's a nice change of pace from being stationed in Johto, I'll tell you that much." On the other end of the phone, Gold laughed before asking, "Ray, wanna know something?" "Yeah?" Unable to hide the news any longer, Gold said, "I'm taking the Johto Gym challenge! I just defeated Falkner today!" Ray almost dropped the phone out of shock, and, quickly putting it back to his ear, he said, "That's great to hear!" Sighing wistfully, he recalled, "I remember when I did the Gym challenge. It... didn't go so well, to put it lightly. Morty's Gengar is a menace." "When did you try to do the challenge? I thought you were getting police training most of the time you were away." "Three years ago, around the time where Team Rocket was dissolved. And I was trained around that time, I just couldn't beat Morty before I was sent out to Unova." His voice taking on a curious tone, Ray wondered, "Though, now that I have Krookodile here..." Shaking his head, he then saw that the chief was calling for him, and he sighed and said, "Duty calls. Sorry Gold, I'll call you back later." "Smell ya later, Ray!" The two brothers shared a small laugh before hanging up, and Ray turned to the chief and asked, "What is it this time?" "Muggers on Route 4. They call themselves the Sandstorm Squad." Snorting, Ray said, "That's a lame name." "We've already got Joel there too, help him out once you get there." "Got it."
Gold put the phone back and, seeing that it was getting late, he ultimately decided to call it a day and stay at the Pokémon Center for the night. Once he was in a room, Gold sent out both Snaggletooth and Frostbite and tiredly yawned before changing into his pajamas. Flopping onto the bed, he was out like a light, leaving his two Pokémon to sleep on the mattresses he had asked for from Nurse Joy. However, the two Pokémon were striking up a conversation, which had been kicked off by Snaggletooth asking, "So, how's Alola?""It was alright. Nothing too mind-blowing... at least when I was there."His jaw slightly agape, Snaggletooth pressed, "But you gotta have some cool stories! It's a whole different region!""Like I said, nothing too exciting. But who knows, maybe one day someone'll summon a Legendary Pokémon from Arceus-knows-where!"Snaggletooth tilted his head and parroted, "Legendary Pokémon?" Pausing to remember, he recalled, "All I remember from my time at the lab was a story about something called The Storm's End..." "The Storm's End..." Shaking her head, Frostbite said, "Nope, don't know anything about that."As the two Pokémon continued their conversation, neither one noticed that the Egg that was inside the incubator was beginning to wiggle around...
Meanwhile, just outside Azalea Town, a group of Team Rocket grunts, led by the ones who were catching Ghost-type Pokémon in the Dark Cave, climbed down the ladder that led to the Slowpoke Well while one of their number stayed above the well as a lookout. Once they reached the bottom of the well, one of the grunts held out a Poké Ball and sent out his Pokémon, which was a Scyther. Looking at his Pokémon, the grunt coldly said, "If you find a Slowpoke, use Slash on its tail." The Scyther nodded, and flew into the actual cave, where there were several Slowpoke that had gathered around a large pool of water. Focusing on a Slowpoke's tail, Scyther used Fury Cutter, cleanly slicing off the tail. Holding it in between its scythes, it flew back to the grunts and presented the tail to its Trainer, who took it and placed it into a bag. An awful grin having wormed its way onto his face, the grunt barked, "Okay, move out! We need to make sure that we can get this done before Proton gets done with agitating the Zubat in the Union Cave." The other grunts nodded, and they walked into the cave, some of them holding knives while others sent out Pokémon that had traits which were suited for the job.
Exiting the Pokémon Center, Gold walked towards the Union Cave's entrance and entered it. Once inside, he took a second to let his eyes adjust to the dimmer lighting. Once they had, Gold began walking through the Union Cave, only for a horde of Zubat to swarm up from the lower levels of the cave and dive towards him. Jumping up in surprise, Gold then quickly recollected himself and said, "Frostbite, Ice Shard!" Frostbite launched several chunks of ice at the oncoming horde, knocking five of them to the floor while the others retreated at the sight of an Ice-type move. Walking through the cave, Gold ran into a Hiker, who let out a boisterous laugh and said, "Hey, kid! Wanna battle?" Gold nodded, and Frostbite leaped to the front, flashing her stubby little claws in challenge. The Hiker let out a booming laugh before taking out a Poké Ball of his own and saying, "Go, Onix!" The humongous rock snake emerged from its Poké Ball and roared, the force of its roar pushing Gold back several steps. Taking a look at the odd Sandshrew, he jammed his tail into the ground and unearthed a large rock. Noticing that the Sandshrew's claws were now tipped with metal, he threw the rock at it. Frostbite caught the rock, her Metal Claw providing assistance with the task, and she flung it back at the Onix, catching it off guard. While it was reeling, Frostbite hopped onto its tail and slowly began to scale the Onix, using Metal Claw to keep her grip on its rocky body, much to its discomfort. Once she had reached its head however, as she was charging up an Ice Shard, she heard the Hiker yell, "Onix, hit the deck!" The Onix then suddenly went limp and fell to the ground, successfully throwing the Sandshrew off its body, and as he rose back up, he heard his Trainer say, "Iron Head!" Nodding, Onix's head suddenly turned into iron and he fell head-first onto the Sandshrew, attempting to squash her like he was playing 'Whack-a-Diglett.' Frostbite dodged before retaliating with Ice Shard, but the chunks of ice harmlessly shattered against the Onix's now-metallic head. Taking a different approach, as the Onix was rising back up, she charged an Ice Shard up, waiting for its head to turn back to rock. Once the Onix's head was back to its normal rocky state, Frostbite let loose with Ice Shard, all five chunks of ice she had summoned battering the Onix right in the chin, who let out a cry of pain before slumping over to its side, clearly out for the count. Rubbing the back of his head, the Hiker laughed and said, "Now that was fun!" Returning his Onix, he paid Gold the prize money and watched as the teenager continued down the southward path of the Union Cave.
Kurt, the famed Poké Ball maker of Azalea Town, heard a small commotion going on outside at the Slowpoke Well, and, pulling out a lantern that was in the shape of a Lanturn, he walked to the outskirts of the town to investigate. Shining the lantern in the direction of a cluster of trees, he saw the uniform of a Team Rocket grunt, and he yelled, "Hey! What do ya think you're doing here?!" The grunt, being a relatively new recruit, ran away. Unfortunately, Kurt would be blindsided by a second grunt who punched him in the face and pushed him into the well, his Lanturn-shaped lantern shattering once he landed. Attempting to move, Kurt felt a sharp pain flare through his back, and he blacked out.
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Zorquil the Fluffy
Excuse me while I catch up and comment on all the fiction!
Posts: 35
Pronouns: Any pronoun allowed! Usually he/him or they/them.
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Post by Zorquil the Fluffy on May 2, 2020 2:47:39 GMT
I see you put in a bit of competitive influences of reject breeding and trainers having more moves and the like. There's some risk in re-writing an already existing universe, especially with the same characters and small alterations of dialogue here and there. However, you do pretty well with what you have. Silver already has a concrete backstory and everything, but Gold is still open-book and have more room for the imagination, and the personality traits you give him are really good! On Silver's side though, I feel like the part of Silver's past with him and his father arguing against each other could have been cut for a later point, thus giving time for those who haven't play GSC/HGSS left to wonder how a sweet kid like him could have turned so hostile.
As for the story itself, it has some good and bad moments. The good comes from the interactions you give between Gold and Snaggletooth and the motion of the battles. The bad comes from the way you intermingle some of the interactions Gold makes between main characters, or sometimes the lack of thoughts from Gold himself. You're trying to stay as true as possible to the game dialogue themselves, but that risks making Gold a flatter character than he could be. I feel like you can push a bit more dialogue for these characters instead of being too strictly conformed with the existing material. The more natural interactions seem to be between him and Snaggletooth, where he's a bit more open.
Overall, I enjoyed this story and await what comes next!
Edit: Apparently, you posted another chapter when I finished this review. Nice. XD
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Post by admin on May 3, 2020 3:23:42 GMT
You know what I think is the best part about this fic? The fact that it's so nostalgic for me. See, it's not just revisiting a game I admit I haven't played in years (with new twists, like Alolan pokémon and a starter that isn't just another Torrent Totodile armed with only Scratch and Growl at first). It's also got this feel about it that reminds me a lot of older trainer fics—the kinds people wrote at the start of the fandom, where both readers and writers were far more interested in extensions of canon than they were these epic adventures starring troubled protagonists. Take Gold, for instance. Now, granted, I can see where folks are coming from when they say he's a rather simple protagonist. But I'm personally of two minds about that. On the one hand, it's hard to imagine a journey fic of any sort (trainer or otherwise) where a character remains the same from start to finish. On the other hand, he reminds me of a bubbly shounen protag, the sort that doesn't really have too many troubles about him. He's almost like a slightly older Ash Ketchum: just happy to be there, happy to be on a journey, wide-eyed and innocent and ready to make new friends and battle his way to the top. Gold isn't complicated. He's not out because of some grand quest, and that's okay because to be honest, Johto's storyline doesn't really call for that. If you stick straight to the script, a Johtonian story is about one thing, and that's a hero accidentally stumbling across adventure. And that's exactly what Gold seems to be doing. Through no effort of his own, he's thus far stumbled into the Rainbow Wing, a unique starter, the opportunity to train foreign pokémon ... even TMs, to be honest. That isn't to say that I think you're making things too easy for him. (Or ... okay, maybe a smidge little, since objects seem to just kinda pop up in tall grass for him. And I know that's a game mechanic that actually happens, but when written out, it's ... something I'm trying to figure out on a more logical level, you know? So far, I'm trying to assume that that's just the luck of the Rainbow Wing coming into him, but I don't entirely know.) Tangents in parentheses aside, it's more to say that this kid is like the bubbly, happy equivalent of those anime characters who just have shenanigans following them wherever they go. I almost want to say he's like Vash the Stampede in that he always seems to be at the right place at the right time for everything, but honestly, Vash had it coming. Maybe he's more like Ash Ketchum in the actual Johtonian era of the anime, where he always just happens across exactly the circumstances he needs to breeze through. (This also seems like I'm negging the fic, but I'm really not. There's charm in its simplicity.) Anyway, the point is that so far, it just feels like those uncomplicated fics I used to read a lot of, and it's almost a welcome breath of fresh air. It's also a held breath in because I kinda wonder where the epic quest will go and how your style will evolve from here, especially since legendary shenanigans will be involved owing to the fact that this is a Johto plot and that you do have some interesting departures-from-canon Team Rocket plotting going on in the sidelines there. (On that note, I still love your Giovanni, but to expand on this, there's just ... this undercurrent of something big happening. The Slowpoke Well stuff seems to be covering for Proton agitating zubat, plus there's the whole run for ghost-types in Dark Cave. The Rocket plot looks like it's going to be bigger somehow ... or at least, this all is pointing to some fun interpretation of the Lake of Rage sideplot. I'm looking forward to seeing which.) One last note of positivity, but I have to say that I like your battles. At first, I was in agreement with GLS's note about how a lot of this fic leans more towards telling us what happens instead of showing. (A lot of the journey to Mr. Pokémon's house was kinda glossed over like that, when it could have either been made into full scenes/battles or left out entirely, for example.) But as you went on and hit the important battles, you really went into detail with your attacks and your battle choreography. There're still some parts outside of those moments where the fic feels a little more telly than showy, but in your battles, you've got tons of vivid description and creative moves all over the place. (I could go into specifics and name off so many, but I think the one that stuck out to me the most was when Snaggletooth used Water Gun to fuel his Aqua Jet. I love it when writers come up with creative ways to combine moves. Oh, and the entire battle with mareep that took into account the thickness of mareep wool? And the lulzy magikarp battle, which honestly made actually excellent use of summarizing what happened? Just... *chef's kiss to all of your battles*) Sooooo the long and short of it is that there are moments where you could describe a bit more than you do and where you could make things a little less easy/lucky for Gold, but overall, there's just this fun, uncomplicated air to this entire fic, which is to say ... I like it. Will be back for more!
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Post by Krosshair on May 3, 2020 18:04:31 GMT
Tales of the Nintendoverse: Sentinels of the Sea and SkyChapter 5: Rocketing to AzaleaNOTE: Adjusted Gold's mother's age to make it not unrealistic for her to have raised two kids on her own.
Gold stumbled out of the Union Cave's southern exit, swatting a Zubat off his shoulders in an annoyed fashion before looking up and groaning once he saw the storm clouds. Pulling an umbrella out of his bag, Gold opened it just as it began to rain, and he walked through what little there was of Route 33 before ending up on the outskirts of Azalea Town, where he heard a commotion going on between two people. Hiding behind a tree, Gold listened to the conversation from a distance. "Hey! What have you done with Kurt, Team Rocket?!" That question in particular caught Gold's attention, as the last time he had heard of Team Rocket, it was about their disbanding three years ago. Hiding behind a cluster of trees, he slowly inched closer to hear the conversation better. A gruff voice responded, "None of your damn business, now leave us alone!" Gold saw that the person, who was indeed a Team Rocket grunt, punch the other man in the face before chasing him away by sending out a Raticate, who snarled and leapt at the man with Super Fang. Gold then attempted to walk into Azalea Town, only for the grunt to yell, "Hey, kid! What're you doing here?!" Gold yelped in surprise and hastily answered, "Just passing through!" The grunt, after a bit of deliberation, then said, "Okay, you can pass." Gold walked into the town, which was deathly quiet, much to his discomfort. Walking down south, Gold saw that the Azalea Gym appeared to be closed, with a note stuck on the front that read: "Closed for business at Route 34. Will be back soon."
-BugsyWalking up north to the Pokémon Center, Gold noticed that there was a group of townspeople convening to his left, which he tried his best to ignore as he approached the counter, bringing Snaggletooth's Poké Ball out of his bag and returning Frostbite to her Moon Ball. Putting the two capsules onto the tray, Gold walked into one of the bathrooms to shake the water off of his umbrella before walking out and thanking Nurse Joy for healing his Pokémon. Before he could leave, however, Nurse Joy asked, "Oh, I'm sorry if this is a bother, but have we registered you in the Pokémon Center's database yet?" Looking back as he sent Frostbite out of her Moon Ball, Gold replied, "Well, none of the previous Pokémon Centers I visited told me about a database, so... I guess that means it's a no." "They didn't?" Putting a hand to her head, Joy muttered, "I'm going to have to give my cousins one hell of a talking to tonight..." Looking back at Gold, she said, "Well, recently, the International Pokémon Committee, or IPC for short, which consists of officials from all around the world, decided to implement a system that makes sure every single Trainer is documented for regardless of region. It's been kind of important as of late here in Johto because of rumors of Team Rocket trying to make a comeback..." Watching as the teenager bit his lip at that last point, Joy asked, "May I see your Trainer Card?" "O-oh, of course!" Gold began rummaging through his pocket for his wallet and pulled it out before passing the Trainer Card inside to Nurse Joy, who, after taking it, went to a computer to get it scanned. Once she had scanned the card, Nurse Joy asked, "Hmm... you're fourteen and you're doing the Johto League challenge? That's quite a surprise, you're probably the youngest challenger in the last thirty years." Unknown to Gold, the group of townspeople had overheard Nurse Joy's question, and they began frantically conversing among themselves. "He's doing the Johto League challenge?" "He could be our solution for facing Team Rocket and rescuing Kurt!" "Did you not hear Nurse Joy? He's fourteen! We can't be dragging a teenager into a fight against a crime syndicate!" Gold retrieved his Trainer Card from Nurse Joy when she finished registering him, and, after putting his wallet away, he took Frostbite and Snaggletooth's Poké Balls and sent out the Ice-type. Just as he was about to walk out of the Pokémon Center, though, someone called out, "Hey, kid!" Turning around, Gold saw that the townspeople were all looking at him. "Yeah?" Clasping his hands together, the man said, "We've... sort of had a problem with the Slowpoke Well as of late. As you may have seen, Team Rocket's had control of the well for about a day. Our famed Poké Ball maker, Kurt, also vanished just last night, and we think Team Rocket has something to do with it. Can you please help us?" After some thought, Gold answered, "Yeah." After a quiet cheer from some of the townspeople, he absently took out his Pokédex to check some information on some of the wildlife, as he had heard rumors of there being Heracross lurking both in the town and the Ilex Forest to the west. Noticing, the man from earlier asked, "You're trying to complete the Pokédex?" As the teenager casually nodded, the man continued, "Kurt is a renowned Poké Ball maker from across the world, and he's capable of making specialized Poké Balls that can make catching certain types of Pokémon much easier! All he needs are raw Apricorns!" Gold's eyes grew wide at that, and he rummaged through his bag for his Apricorn Basket. Looking at the rather significant amount of Apricorns of various colors that he had, he quickly ran out of the Pokémon Center and towards the Slowpoke Well, hurriedly cramming the basket back into his bag.
Having arrived at the well, Gold looked around to make sure that there was no one around before he grabbed onto the ladder and climbed down. Once he reached the bottom, he saw that there was a broken lantern that was in the shape of a Lanturn. Walking past it, he was about to continue into the deeper part of the well when he heard a soft groan of pain behind him. Whirling around, Gold looked around for the source of the sound, worried that it was something like a Duskull or a Yamask that had somehow found its way into Johto, but further inspection yielded him what he was looking for; Kurt, who was sprawled out on the ground, taking labored breaths due to the pain in his back. Looking up, Kurt asked, "Who are you?" "The name's Gold, and I'm gonna get you out of here." Gold then proceeded to carefully help Kurt up and walk him towards the ladder, which upon reaching, he propped Kurt against the wall while sending out Snaggletooth and Frostbite and commanding, "Watch over him while I get someone to help, got it?" The two Pokémon nodded, and Gold climbed up out of the well, running towards the town. Hurrying towards the Pokémon Center, Gold ran over to the adults and gasped, "He's in the well... it looks like he took a fall that messed up his back. My Pokémon are watching over him right now, but I don't think they're going to last against the ridiculous amount of Zubat that are basically everywhere in Johto. I need one of you to help me carry him out." Putting on the most convincing expression he could, Gold asked, "Please?" A gruff voice said, "Alright, I'll do it." The source of the voice, a burly woodcutter, stepped towards Gold and said, "Name's Myron. Bring me to the well and I'll haul him out." Gold, with Myron following him, ran out of the Pokémon Center and towards the well, where he heard some sort of commotion going on down below. Urgently gesturing for Myron to come where he was, Gold scaled down the ladder quickly, only to slip upon reaching the ground, landing on his front with a resounding thud. Pushing his hands down on the ground, they soon gave way once Gold realized that what he was on was actually a patch of ice. Cautiously moving his body away from the frozen part of the ground, Gold brought himself back to his feet and yelled, "You might want to watch out, there's some ice right underneath the ladder!" Looking for Kurt and his two Pokémon, Gold was relieved to see that they were fine, if a little startled. Kurt then said to him, "Your Pokémon are quite well trained, young man. A Team Rocket grunt came looking for me, but these two scared him off-" It was at that point Myron had made his way down into the well, and he asked, "Am I hearin' this right? Yer lot's got a crime syndicate still active?" Turning towards Kurt, he said, "Mister Kurt, we'd better get you out of this well before something worse happens to you!" "We need to stop Team Rocket though! They're cutting off Slowpoke tails to sell on the black market!" Looking at Gold, Myron said, "You're comin' with me, kid. But first..." Myron hauled Kurt onto his shoulders and climbed out of the well, leaving Gold with his two Pokémon. Looking at Frostbite and Snaggletooth, Gold pointed at the iced ground in front of him and asked, "You two did this?" Snaggletooth nodded in earnest, which earned him a light dope slap from Frostbite. Laughing, Gold lightly ruffled their heads as he waited for Myron to return, which the latter did not long after the fact. Unclipping an Ultra Ball from his belt, Myron said, "I'm not sure whether bringing you along is a good idea, but as a challenger to the Johto League, you should be reasonably competent." As Gold returned both of his Pokémon, Myron continued, "Come on, kid," before walking into the heart of the cave, Gold following close behind. Upon entering, Gold saw a Slowpoke who was obliviously meandering near a pond... completely unaware of the fact that its tail had been severed clean off. As he followed Myron, he saw that even more Slowpoke were missing their tails, which distracted him long enough that he bumped right into the woodcutter's back. Rubbing his head, Gold muttered, "Ow..." before peering from the side to look at what Myron had stopped in front of. Two Team Rocket grunts stood in front of him, Poké Balls at the ready. One of the grunts said, "That dumb old coot scared me off from the well, and Proton gave me a hell of a talking-to!" His partner sarcastically replied, "Oh, boo-hoo, man up, now we've got more trespassers in here! This day just gets better and better..." before sending out a Rattata, while his partner did the same. Myron's eyes had narrowed in anger, and he said, "Go, Falinks!" The Formation Pokémon, upon emerging from the Ultra Ball, formed itself into a three-by-two phalanx, letting out a gaggle of chatter as it did so. Gold quickly whipped out his Pokédex and scanned the new Pokémon, and the Pokédex registered the data of the Falinks in its database. Putting the device back in his pocket, Gold watched as the two Rattata were overwhelmed by the six individual units that composed the Falinks, the one with the largest crest expertly coordinating an aggressive maelstrom of moves. Without missing a beat, the two grunts recalled their Rattata and sent out a Zubat and a Gastly. The Gastly let out a wobbly laugh as it turned invisible, while the Zubat flew in and out of the range of the Falinks' attacks while attempting to confuse it with Supersonic. Gold covered his ears as the harsh, ear-splitting noise bounced around the walls of the cave, with it getting louder and harsher the more it ricocheted off a surface. Myron, who was also covering his ears, turned to Gold and bellowed, " GET THEIR BOSS OVER THERE!" pointing to the Team Rocket member with blue hair and a badge on his uniform to denote him to the teenager. Nodding, the boy jumped down a slope and ran towards where he had pointed, while he brought his attention back to the battle going on in front of him, trying his best to support his Falinks. Gold ran up a small slope, uncovering his ears as the noise from the Zubat's Supersonic faded away, only to be accosted by a third Team Rocket grunt, who snarled, "We've got ways to deal with trespassers like you, kid," before pulling out a stun whip and flicking the switch on its handle, causing a jolt of electricity to course through the whip. Caught off guard, Gold mouthed, "The hell?" before jumping to the side as the grunt swung the lash over his head and into the ground, causing small chunks of rubble to unearth themselves as electricity discharged from the whip. Just before Gold's instincts told him to run, as he was not willing to let his Pokémon get hurt or even killed by that thing, he heard someone snap their fingers, and the grunt almost immediately became docile. Slightly slack-jawed, Gold watched as the grunt walked towards where the sound had come from and looked in the direction that he was walking. There, Proton, the blue-haired Team Rocket member, was harshly admonishing the grunt with the whip with, "Benny, next time, you act on MY orders! Not anyone else's! Is that clear?" The grunt, Benny, nodded without saying a word, and Proton was about to dismiss him before noticing a teenager who was staring at him in shock. A cruel glint appearing in his eyes, Proton exclaimed, "Well, isn't this a surprise! Some kid's trying to play hero again like that kid from three years ago!" Pulling out one of his Poké Balls, with a flourish, Proton continued, "We'll show you why no one should interfere in Team Rocket's business!" before sending out his Zubat. Gold reached for Snaggletooth's Poké Ball and sent him out, the Big Jaw Pokémon sliding across the ground before tripping over a small rock and falling onto his face. Quickly righting himself, he looked at the Zubat and said, "You're going down!"Proton's Zubat dryly responded, "Yep. Haven't heard that one before-"
"Bite!" Spurred by Gold's command, Snaggletooth jumped up to clamp onto the Zubat, but it simply flew out of Snaggletooth's range, causing him to bite down on nothing and fall onto the floor. Pushing himself back up, Snaggletooth rubbed his snout before shooting a spout of water at the Zubat, who zipped out of the way before attempting to chomp down with Leech Life, which Snaggletooth dodged by using Dragon Dance to vault over the Zubat. When the smoky veil from Dragon Dance began to fade, Snaggletooth charged out of it with Aqua Jet, ramming headlong into the Zubat and catapulting it into the wall of the cave, which made Proton look back in shock as his Zubat spent the last of its energy prying itself out of the wall before collapsing. Adjusting his hat as he recalled his Zubat, Proton muttered, "Maybe I underestimated you..." before sending out his Koffing, who let out a deep laugh before emitting some smog. Snapping his fingers, Proton commanded, "Sludge Bomb!" The Koffing shot a glob of brown sludge from one of its pores which hit Snaggletooth right in the chest, managing to poison him. After a cough, Snaggletooth rasped, "Bring it!" before firing a Water Gun at the Koffing, who appeared to be no worse for wear when the stream of water stopped. A tiny bit of frustration having worked its way onto his face, Snaggletooth smashed right into Koffing with a desperation Aqua Jet in order to try and knock it out quick, but Koffing began rapidly spinning, and the ensuing Gyro Ball ran him over, his Trainer letting out an exclamation of horror once the Gyro Ball connected. Snaggletooth clawed himself out of the crater that had been made and righted himself up, his footwork being slightly wobbly. Before he could do anything more, however, the poison finally took its toll on his strength and he collapsed to the floor, out for the count. Gold winced as he recalled his Pokémon, muttering to himself, "You did well, Snaggletooth." Clipping his starter's Poké Ball back onto his belt, he took Frostbite's Moon Ball and clicked it, saying, "Frostbite, finish the job!" Proton gawked at the fact that a Sandshrew that looked like it was an Ice-type emerged from the Moon Ball, but he quickly recollected himself, changing his objective from 'silence' to 'capture.' Looking at his Koffing, he commanded, "Flamethrower!" "Wha- Frostbite, get out of the way!" Frostbite rolled away from the streams of fire that came from the Koffing's pores and retaliated with Ice Shard, the sharp chunks of ice battering the Koffing's body and plugging up one of its holes. Clutching one of his hands into a fist, Gold punched forward and commanded, "Follow through with Metal Claw!" Frostbite jumped up and clawed at the Koffing, inadvertently breaking the ice that plugged up the hole. Once said ice was broken, Koffing retreated upwards and hurriedly vented out some of the excess gas it had generated inside of itself. Noticing, Gold took out his Pokédex and scanned Proton's Koffing, reading the entry that the digital database had recorded, muttering to himself, "Overinflation can cause it to explode rather violently..." Putting away his Pokédex, Gold tightened the strap on his bag and said, "Frostbite, Powder Snow!" Inhaling, Frostbite then exhaled a stinging gust of powdery snow, which created a thin layer of ice over the Koffing's skin. She then followed up with Ice Shard, intending to hit the pores of the Koffing. Several shards managed to hit true, and Koffing's gaseous output considerably lessened, while its body grew slightly larger. Koffing looked to be in extreme discomfort from the amount of gas that was building up within it, with tiny parts of its fragile skin bursting to try and vent the excess gas. Proton noticed, and after diving behind a large rock, he commanded, "Koffing, Explosion!" Koffing began to glow white, and Gold hurriedly recalled Frostbite, frantically scrambling away from what would become ground zero as the Koffing violently exploded, knocking Gold off of his feet and caving in a portion of a nearby wall.
When Gold rose to his feet once more, he saw that the location where the Koffing had exploded was reduced to a gigantic crater, with the Pokémon nowhere to be seen. Looking at the rock Proton was hiding behind, Gold saw that a shaky hand which was holding a Poké Ball slowly retreat from his line of sight. Proton frantically retreated into the tunnel system that he and his grunts had made from the Union Cave when he saw the Trainer look away from the rock he was hiding behind. Once he was sure that he had made it out safely, he pulled out a flashlight and began the trek back to the Union Cave. Dusting off his jacket and sending out Frostbite to check for any injuries, Gold walked over to Myron, who was recalling his own Pokémon, and muttered, "He got away," before continuing to walk towards the ladder that he had taken to get into the well, recalling Frostbite as he did so. Once he had climbed out, he took off his hat and looked towards the afternoon sky, the sun beating down on his face, while next to him, Myron climbed out of the well and wiped his brow. "Hey, nice job down there, kid. You got guts." With a light chuckle, Gold responded, "Thanks." Looking at Myron, he then asked, "What is that Pokémon, anyways?" "Falinks." Upon seeing the teenager's puzzled expression, Myron continued, "It's a Pokémon native to the Galar region, which is where I'm from. It's actually a hivemind much like the Exeggcute family, but there's one leader unit that commands the others to perform tasks. A well-experienced Falinks is capable of using all six of its units, including itself, to do different tasks." Gold nodded, before yawning and asking, "Should we head back to the town?" "Yeah." The two of them began walking back to the Azalea Town Pokémon Center, and once they entered, Gold walked to the counter to get Snaggletooth and Frostbite healed up, while Myron walked back to the crowd of townspeople that, while considerably smaller, was still of an above-average size. Once Gold got his Pokémon back from Nurse Joy, he was right about to walk out of the facility when one member of the crowd called out for him with a, "Hey, kid!" The same man who had asked him to go down into the well earlier had approached Gold, and then proceeded to grab his right hand with both hands and vigorously shake it, saying, "Thank you for helping rescue Kurt!" Gold extricated his hand from the man's grip and said, "Thank you, but I remember you said that Kurt could make me some Poké Balls that would help me capture Pokémon?" "Ah, yes! I'm sure that Kurt will be more than happy to make some of his famous Apricorn Balls! Just make a right once you exit the Pokémon Center and then you'll find Kurt's house to your right after walking a short distance." Gold thanked the man and exited the Pokémon Center, following his directions to the letter. Seeing the simple house at the north end of the town, Gold walked towards its door and knocked. After a bit, Kurt, using a cane to support himself, opened the door, greeting him with, "Ah... Gold, was it?" Gold nodded, and Kurt continued, "Come in," gesturing to the inside of the house. Unknown to Gold, something was watching him from the trees... Once Gold stepped inside, Kurt closed his door and began, "I take it that you knew about Team Rocket disbanding?" "Yeah, my brother broke the news to my mom over dinner when I was eleven." "Well, they were defeated by a fourteen-year old boy named Red, and their leader, Giovanni vanished without a trace." Tilting his head in confusion, Gold asked, "Wait, why are you telling me all of this?" "The fact that Team Rocket was sighted at the well is a cause for concern. If it's true that you've defeated one of their executives, I think that you'll need to be careful from here on out on your journey across Johto." Nodding, Gold then began digging through his bag for his Apricorn Basket, and once he found it, he fished through the inside of the basket for an Apricorn. Pulling out a pink one, Gold then put away his basket and said, "The townspeople said you were capable of making Poké Balls that could help me catch certain types of Pokémon. Is that true?" Kurt took the Apricorn from Gold's hand and inspected it thoroughly before nodding and saying, "It'll take me half an hour for me to finish this special Poké Ball, why don't you take a good look around the Ilex Forest first?" Gold nodded, and walked out of the house while Kurt got to work. Before he could walk through the checkpoint, however, he accidentally bumped into a lavender-haired teenager who was holding a net, knocking him to the floor. Gold extended a hand, asking, "Are you okay? I'm really sorry about that-" "Ah, it's no problem. I need to sort some things out because I got word from one of the townspeople that Team Rocket was cutting off the tails of Slowpoke in the Slowpoke Well." Remembering what Myron had told him on their way back to the Pokémon Center, namely that he would send some people into the well to take care of the Slowpoke, Gold said, "There's some townspeople in the well taking care of them." "Wait, how did you know about the Slowpoke?" After taking a look at the younger teenager in front of him, the purple-haired boy realized, "Oh, you're that 'Gold' person Myron was talking about!" Extending a hand, he said, "Name's Bugsy, I'm Azalea Town's Gym Leader. Nice to meet you! I take it that you're here for the Johto Gym challenge?" Gold nodded, and Bugsy continued, "Great! I'll open the Gym in an hour, 'cause I'm pooped from having to do all that paperwork with Whitney at Goldenrod... she's a handful, I'll tell you that. When I open the Gym again, you can challenge me whenever you're ready!" before sitting down on a nearby tree stump and pulling out a rather thick encyclopedia on Bug-types across the world. As he looked at Bugsy perusing through his book, Gold asked, "Since you're one of the region's experts on Bug-types, do you know where I can find a Heracross?" "A Heracross?" Nodding, Bugsy continued, "They're native to Azalea Town, surprisingly enough. I must tell you, though, they're quite rare... in my eight years as a Gym Leader, I've only seen what, five Heracross in the town?" Gold did a double take and said, "Wait, wait, wait. How long did you say you were Gym Leader for?" "Eight years." "How old are you?" Bugsy nonchalantly responded, "Nineteen, why?" "You've been Gym Leader since you were eleven! How the heck does that work?" "It's quite the story... so, to keep it short, the prospective Gym Leader for this town disappeared for some reason, and since the locations for the eight Gyms of the Johto region cannot be changed according to League rules, which I personally think is a bit silly, I was selected as Gym Leader because the League Committee thought I was the best Trainer in the town." Pausing for a second, Bugsy continued, "Say, have you heard of Ash Ketchum?" "Wasn't he the winner of the Lumiose Conference a few years back?" "Yep! He was actually one of my first challengers when I first became the town's Gym Leader." Some excitement was present in Gold's voice as he asked, "Was he as good of a Trainer as he is now?" Laughing, Bugsy shook his head, answering, "He was way more inexperienced when he came to challenge me." After a while of Bugsy sharing stories of his career, Gold noticed that half an hour had passed after checking his Pokégear, and he said, "I gotta go pick something up, I'll be right back," running over to Kurt's house. Once he got there, Gold saw that Kurt was waiting by the outside of his house, holding a pink Poké Ball that had a heart decoration on the top half. When Kurt passed it to Gold, he said, "The Love Ball increases your chances of catching Pokémon of the opposite gender. Make sure you've got your own Pokémon's gender taken into account, and that you're able to distinguish the difference between certain species' genders!" Gold pocketed the Love Ball and thanked Kurt before stepping out of the house and walking back to Bugsy, who was training his Scyther by having her cut surplus bundles of sticks that he was having his own Pinsir hurl up into the air. Gold then took a seat on a nearby stump to watch the Azalea Gym Leader for the remainder of the hour. Once the hour had passed, Bugsy, upon looking down at his Pokétch, said, "The Gym's open! You can challenge when you're ready." before opening the doors of the Gym and walking inside. Gold watched as the doors closed behind Bugsy before standing up and walking into the Gym himself. Upon entering, Gold saw that the official that was present at the Violet City Gym was not there, and that there were no other Trainers present. Figuring that it was just a result of the Gym having just reopened, Gold walked towards the podium where Bugsy was, only to stop just as the ground ran out. In front of him, there were three large, mechanical Spinarak replicas, all of them resting on a track that resembled a String Shot, but with multiple branching paths instead of being a single straight line. Stepping onto the one that was right in front of him, the Spinarak replica began to make its way down the track, and all seemed to be going smoothly for Gold until he was taken onto a different path that led to a dead end. Stepping back onto the Spinarak robot, Gold looked down at the track in order to keep track of where each of the paths were. Once he was back at the beginning, he stepped off and looked at the track to try and see which route he would need to take. After tracing a path with his finger, Gold deduced that the left Spinarak was the correct option, and sure enough, when he stepped on it, it moved in the exact opposite direction that he had backtracked, bringing him further into the Gym. Meanwhile, the same being from earlier was watching Gold with great interest from one of the trees inside the Gym, having snuck in in order to finally get a good, close look at a Trainer's battle. When he reached the middle, Gold took the time to look at the web track in order to properly map out a solution, taking the red and blue paths into account. Once he had done so, Gold stepped onto the middle Spinarak, and was taken to a dead end that had a blue switch. Flicking the switch, Gold stepped back onto the Spinarak and was taken to another dead end that instead had a red switch. After flipping that switch, he stepped back onto the Spinarak and was taken all the way to the back of the Gym, where Bugsy stood at one end of a field. As Gold stepped onto the end that was directly opposite of where Bugsy was, he heard the Azalea Gym Leader call out, "Should we just skip the formalities and get the battle started?" "Yeah! Let's do this!" With a laugh, Bugsy reached for a Fast Ball and yelled, "Go, Yanma!" "Frostbite, you're up!"
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Post by Manchee on May 4, 2020 1:14:45 GMT
This review is for Chapter 1!
This was not at all what I expected when I sat down to read this. I was expecting like a Nintendo AU where the different franchises crossed over to one another, but I'm always down for a good retelling fic 8) And this one was entertaining! I wrote a retelling of Sapphire way back in 2008 and any time I've reread the beginning or tried to improve on the first few chapters it was always a bit slower because there is only so much you can do if you're trying to stay true to the start of the games. I liked the vignettes between Gold and Silver's upbringings, and I think that broke up how the beginning of a story like this can go.
Granted, I've only read the first chapter so maybe this fit goes in a completely different direction, so this is just first impression. But you did a good job overall! Not much to say that hasn't been said already, but I wanted to pop in and let you know that your introduction to this is a nice change of pace and make me more interested to read a story set in a region that I'm not crazy about haha
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Post by █ █ m a g i c k a █ █ on May 4, 2020 17:12:13 GMT
Alrighty, gave chapter one a look-see.
I'd say that all together, it was rather well written. There weren't any particular grammatical or spelling errors that I noticed. Generally, things have a decent flow, and though the dialogue is occasionally a little off, I feel as though those particular lines were taken directly from the ROM hack that this is based off of. So, I'll look past that, since I imagine that as this diverges from the game in whatever fashion it does, the dialogue will become less "Gamey".
The only other thing I can really criticize is that most of the battles felt a little perfunctory. They were fairly indistinct footnotes *except for* Youngster Joey - Top Percentage of Rattata indeed.
On the flipside, something that does particularly interest me is the seeming focus on Silver in counterpoint to Gold. I've always had a certain fondness for the long haired red head - so this is right up my alley, if he gets his day in the sun.
I think that is about the extent of what I have to say. Until next time!
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Post by Krosshair on May 19, 2020 17:17:25 GMT
Tales of the Nintendoverse: Sentinels of the Sea and Sky
Chapter 6: There's Always a Silver Lining
Gold watched as the Yanma zipped around in an almost hypnotic pattern before pulling out his Pokédex and scanning it. After the Pokédex gave off its usual informatory spiel, Gold put the electronic encyclopedia away before sweeping his left hand outward and commanding, "Frostbite, use Ice Shard!" Frostbite generated several hard chunks of ice out of thin air and hurled them at the Yanma, one at a time. Bugsy's Yanma proceeded to perform a series of evasive maneuvers that allowed it to evade every single shard before retaliating with Signal Beam. Frostbite rolled out of the way and shot a chilling blast of Powder Snow, causing the Yanma to shiver in place before moving again, albeit at a slower pace. Planting his net in the ground like it was a staff, Bugsy said, "Yanma, Steel Wing!" Yanma's wings began to glow with a silver sheen, and he charged right at Frostbite, intending to hit her head-on. The attack clipped Frostbite, who was knocked back a small distance before generating a single hunk of ice and tossing it at Yanma, who fired back with an Air Slash to split it apart. Yanma's innate Ability of Speed Boost kicked in, and he zipped away from an overextending Frostbite's Metal Claw. Gritting his teeth in frustration, Gold balled one of his hands into a fist and called out, "Ice Shard, aiming straight up!" Frostbite created several chunks of ice out of thin air and launched them all straight up, while behind her, Gold commanded, "Now, Ice Shard once again!" Frostbite launched more chunks of ice at the Yanma, who dodged through all of them... just as the ones from above came crashing down, two of them managing to hit Yanma, one on his head and one on his right wings, causing him to hover dangerously low to the floor. Smelling blood in the water, Gold yelled, "Metal Claw!" "Oh no you don't! Reversal!" Frostbite's Metal Claw hit true, but upon landing it, the Yanma's tail glowed with a crimson aura before it smashed into Frostbite with full force, sending her flying. Upon seeing his Pokémon land on the floor, Gold winced out of concern before asking, "Can you continue, Frostbite?" The Mouse Pokémon, upon getting back up on her feet, looked back at her Trainer and nodded in spite of the massive toll that the Reversal had taken on her. Looking at the Yanma slowly hobbling around in the air, Gold said, "Ice Shard, but don't fire it!" Once Frostbite had generated the shard of ice in one hand, Gold pumped a fist outward and yelled, " METAL CLAW!" Bugsy, upon realizing what Gold had improvised, yelped, "Crap! Yanma, use Detect!" Frostbite curled her free hand into a fist as the claws on it began to gleam with a silvery glow, and then punched the glob of ice in her hand, causing it to shatter and send a burst of chilling shrapnel towards the Yanma, who couldn't get the Detect up in time. As the bits of ice battered the Clear Wing Pokémon, it became increasingly clear that he was no longer in any shape to battle, with it collapsing once the bombardment had ended. Sighing, Bugsy recalled his Yanma and said, "Good job, but you're not quite out of the woods yet!" Unclipping a Net Ball from his knapsack, Bugsy said, "You may be a bit surprised by this one! Larvesta, it's your time to shine!" Bugsy threw the Net Ball, and out of it came a small larval Pokémon with a white mane of fuzz and five red horns protruding out of said mane. "Wait a second, that looks familiar... it's a Bug and Fire-type from Unova, isn't it?" Gold then began to fish through his pockets for his Pokédex, and once he pulled it out, he scanned the Larvesta to register it in his Pokédex. Slightly taken aback, Bugsy said, "Yeah, actually! How did you know about his original region?" "My brother works in Unova as a police officer, he comes across a lot of native Pokémon while out on patrol!" "Alright then, let's begin, shall we? Flame Wheel, Larvesta!" A shroud of fire covered the Torch Pokémon and it peeled out towards Frostbite, who was forced to roll to the side in order to dodge the attack. Once she was in the clear, Frostbite shot a wave of Powder Snow at the Larvesta before retreating by curling up and rolling away. As Gold watched, he hurriedly pulled out his Pokédex and scanned Frostbite to see what move it was using, which the encyclopedia identified as Ice Ball. Putting away the Pokédex, Gold commanded, "Ice Shard, then use Ice Ball!" Frostbite hurled a barrage of ice chunks at the Larvesta before curling up into a ball and barreling towards the Larvesta. Bugsy snapped his fingers and said, "Wrong choice! Larvesta, use Incinerate!" Once he had endured the barrage of ice with relatively little trouble, Larvesta shot a small glob of fire towards Frostbite, who was going too fast to stop in time. When the flames made contact, Frostbite uncurled herself and slumped over mid-roll, having fainted from the sheer heat. Sighing, Gold pulled out Frostbite's Moon Ball and recalled her, muttering, "You did good, Frostbite." Once he had done so, Gold took out his last Poké Ball and said, "It's all up to you, Snaggletooth!" throwing it with such force that when the capsule opened, Snaggletooth slid across the ground, that time managing to catch himself instead of falling over. Once he came to a stop, he bared his fangs and let out an uncharacteristically threatening snarl. Adjusting his hat, Gold said, "Snaggletooth, use Water Gun!" "Flame Wheel, then Bug Bite!" As Snaggletooth fired a jet of water, the Larvesta curled up and peeled away from the oncoming blast, a sound that closely resembled burning rubber emitting from him as he rounded a corner of the field, trying to dodge the continuous stream of water that Snaggletooth had opted to fire after his initial blast had missed. However, just before he caught up to Snaggletooth, Larvesta disengaged Flame Wheel and lunged forward with Bug Bite. Snaggletooth barely dodged the Larvesta's hidden incisors as they attempted to make contact with him, and the Larvesta ended up face-faulting onto the ground as a result of overextending. Seeing an opportunity, Gold said, "Aqua Jet, then chain it into a Scratch!" As Bugsy pondered what Gold meant by 'chaining' the two moves together, Snaggletooth slammed right into Larvesta while cloaked in a shroud of water, before disengaging the move and following up with a nasty-looking Scratch that pushed the Larvesta back a good distance. "Larvesta, no!" Bugsy cried out as his Larvesta slowly pulled himself together, shaking himself dry while firing small bursts of flame out of the horns in his mane to accelerate the process. Once he was sure that Larvesta was fine, he asked, "Alright, remember what we practiced?" Larvesta nodded, and Bugsy said, "Great, it's time to take flight then!" "What the f-" Gold's curse was drowned out by the Larvesta's five horns emitting roaring bursts of flame and allowing him to achieve liftoff. Regaining composure, Gold thrust his fist upwards and said, "Use Aqua Jet to give chase!" Snaggletooth surrounded himself in a veil of water and took off, tailing behind the Larvesta as he attempted to get in close to tackle him. However, the Larvesta had noticed, and he slowed down slightly, letting Snaggletooth get closer, before purposely flaring his jets and sending five bursts of flame straight at the Totodile, causing him to momentarily lose concentration and fall down to the ground. As Gold winced, on the other side of the field, Bugsy smirked in triumph and said, "Alright, this next move'll net us victory! Larvesta, land and use Wild Charge!" Larvesta swooped onto the ground, his flame jets shutting off and slowly being replaced by electricity crackling over his entire body. Once he had generated enough charge, so much that the electricity was sparking off his body and racing a small distance in a semicircle in front of him, Larvesta charged right at Snaggletooth, the Totodile having just crawled out of the crater he had made when he crashed into the ground. Snaggletooth's eyes widened as the Larvesta approached, and he shot a burst of Water Gun right at the Larvesta before hurriedly scrambling as far back as he could, which surprisingly made the Larvesta lose control and fall into the crater, where Snaggletooth was trying to keep his distance just in case the Larvesta was still somehow capable of performing Wild Charge again. Adjusting his hat, Gold commanded, "Snaggletooth, use Water Gun to finish the job!" Confidently flicking his nose with his thumb, Bugsy said, "Not yet! Larvesta, use Psychic!" Snaggletooth's eyes widened in alarm as his fired shot was suddenly stopped in midair, while in front of him, the Larvesta's eyes were glowing with a sinister blue hue. Concentrating, the Larvesta formed the blast of water into a gigantic globe of water and shot it back at Snaggletooth, who jumped in alarm and scrambled out of the way before firing himself like a bullet with Aqua Jet as the Larvesta was deactivating its Psychic. Snaggletooth slammed right into the Larvesta, who made an impact in the side of the crater. When the dust thrown up from the rubble cleared up, it was clear that the Larvesta was in no shape to continue, and he slumped over, thoroughly knocked out. "Well, guess that's it for Larvesta..." Bugsy returned the Torch Pokémon before grabbing the Friend Ball that was on his belt and saying, "It all comes down to this, I'm counting on you, Scyther!" before clicking the button on his capsule and releasing his ace Pokémon. Scyther, upon emerging from the Friend Ball, sharpened her scythes by running them along each other before looking right at Snaggletooth, who audibly gulped what was most likely going to be his next Water Gun. Looking back at her Trainer for further instruction, Scyther heard him say, "Night Slash!" and she nodded, her two scythes beginning to glow with a dark aura. Gold, though nervous, made a fist with his right hand and said, "Dragon Dance!" The black-and-red veil surrounded Snaggletooth as he performed the frenetic dance, and once it had cleared up, Gold said, "Aqua Jet!" and Snaggletooth charged forward, that time in a frantic dash while being surrounded by the veil of water. Scyther simply hovered to her right, sidestepping Snaggletooth, who tripped and fell over. "Scyther, use Swords Dance!" Scyther performed a frenzied dance as the outlines of four swords began to spin around her, and once the dance was finished, the swords faded away, leaving it surrounded in an orange aura. Bugsy then said, "Alright, use Slash!" Scyther lunged forward, its right scythe glowing white as it attempted to slam it on Snaggletooth. However, the Totodile barely managed to dodge at the last second before retaliating with Bite on one of her pairs of wings, which made Scyther shriek in pain before she swatted the Big Jaw Pokémon off her back with a wild swing of her left scythe. Snaggletooth hit the ground with a resounding thud, and he pulled himself together to see the Scyther landing, having opted to fight on the ground given how one of her pairs of wings was effectively rendered useless. Snaggletooth watched as one of her scythes began to glow with a dark purple aura, and he proceeded to jump away from Scyther's Night Slash and retaliate with Bite. However, while he did so, frost slowly began to coat his fangs as he got closer, and by the time he made contact, his teeth were fully coated in ice, which shattered the moment he bit down. Once he had landed his attack, Snaggletooth quickly cartwheeled away to avoid retaliation before anxiously checking his fangs, worriedly thinking to himself, "Did I do something wrong? What happened to my teeth?"
"Holy Miltank, that was Ice Fang!" Gold's excited voice snapped Snaggletooth out of his stupor, and he tried doing it again. That time, his fangs were instantly covered by a sheet of ice, and when he bit down with them, the ice shattered and sent smaller chunks of ice towards his front in an outward spread. A toothy grin working its way onto his face, Snaggletooth charged the staggered Scyther and attempted to chomp on her with Ice Fang to finish the job, except she sidestepped the attack, causing Snaggletooth to hit the ground jaw-first. "This is the end! Scyther, finish this with Guillotine!" Both of Scyther's scythes began to glow with a blood-red aura, and she swung them down towards Snaggletooth like a pair of scissors. However, Snaggletooth quickly rolled over to dodge the attack, which infuriated Scyther even further. The Swords Dance she had done earlier had not only heightened her strength, but also her aggression, which caused her Guillotine, already a risky maneuver to begin with, to miss completely and leave herself wide open for another Ice Fang from Snaggletooth. That time, the attack hit true, and Scyther collapsed to the ground, unable to battle any further. "That's the battle!" Gold breathed out a huge sigh of relief once he heard Bugsy call the match, and Snaggletooth bounded across the battlefield to celebrate with his Trainer, Gold scooping his up in his arms and pumping a fist to the skies out of triumph. Sitting down on the battlefield, Gold took out Frostbite's Moon Ball and clicked the capsule, causing Frostbite to come out of the ball and nearly topple over, with the timely intervention of both Gold and Snaggletooth preventing her from falling onto the ground face-first. As Frostbite righted herself, she saw that Snaggletooth was excitedly hopping up and down in front of her, saying, "We did it! Come on, high five!" before putting his hand up and waiting for her to reciprocate. With some effort, Frostbite reciprocated with a half-amused smile as Gold sprayed the worst of her burns with a Burn Heal before applying a Potion to the same areas. Bugsy approached Gold from the other side of the field and said, "Well, I've gotta hand it to you, not many people have beaten my Larvesta ever since I began making adjustments to my team in the last few years... having a Kakuna and a Metapod on your team is not a great way to make people take you seriously..." shaking his head remembering how some of his battles against other trainers had gone. Pulling out a Gym Badge that was made in the shape of a Ledyba, Bugsy took a seat on the floor and passed it to Gold, saying, "It's the Hive Badge, a sign of your victory over me! And also..." Bugsy pulled a Technical Machine out of his satchel and continued, "This TM contains the move U-Turn... I never used it in our battle, unfortunately, but what it does is that once your Pokémon uses it, they'll try to score a hit and then immediately retreat to their Poké Ball not unlike a threatened Wimpod or Golisopod." Looking at Gold's confused expression, Bugsy explained, "Alolan Bug-types that have a tendency to retreat when threatened," causing Gold to nod in understanding. As the two of them stood up, Gold extended his hand and said, "That was a good match," and Bugsy reciprocated with a firm handshake. Once he was done, Gold recalled Snaggletooth and was about to leave the Gym until he heard something rustle in the trees to the side. Looking at Bugsy, Gold asked, "You don't happen to have Pokémon living in your Gym, do you?" "Yes, but usually it's just Caterpie, Wurmple, and the occasional Grubbin or Scatterbug. I've never seen or heard a Pokémon this large in the Gym before." The trees rustled once again, and a large shape hovered out of them before landing behind Bugsy and Gold in the middle of the battlefield. The two Trainers turned around to see that a Heracross was standing there in a stance not unlike that of a Hitmonchan's, and Bugsy's hand drifted to his belt once again, only for the Single Horn Pokémon to exit its stance, shake its head, and point to Gold. Looking at Gold, Bugsy said, "I think it wants to battle you." Though Gold was confused (and a little excited) as to why the Heracross wanted to battle him of all people and not Bugsy, pointing to himself to verify if he was indeed the one the Heracross was looking for, to which it nodded, he recalled Snaggletooth and looked down at Frostbite and asked, "Do you want to do a battle right now? If not, we can try to find a Heracross on our own later." Frostbite nodded, indicating she wanted to fight, and Gold said, "Alright then, it's showtime, Frostbite!" Frostbite lumbered over to face the Heracross, and she curled her tiny claws into the best approximation of a fist that she could. The Heracross said nothing, and his horn began to glow white as he used Horn Attack, attempting to bash Frostbite with his horn. However, Frostbite curled up into a ball and rolled away before retaliating with Ice Shard, battering the Single Horn Pokémon with sharp chunks of ice. Behind her, Gold called out, "Follow up with Metal Claw!" Frostbite obliged, rolling over to the Heracross and attempting to strike him with her claws, only for the Heracross to catch her arm with one hand and wag a claw on the other in a taunting fashion before using Arm Thrust, striking Frostbite with three rapid palm strikes to her body and watching her fly out of his grasp upon landing the third one. Crossing his arms, the Heracross let out a laugh as the small incisors within its mouth began to glow white, and it hovered over to the staggered Sandshrew before grabbing it and clamping down with Bug Bite... on hard ice that it could not penetrate through. As he looked down at the Sandshrew in surprise, she said, "Nice try, sucker," before striking him with a brutal Metal Claw and making him do a backwards flip onto his front. Before Frostbite could continue the fight with Ice Shard, however, Gold tossed the Love Ball Kurt had made him earlier at the Heracross, and the Single Horn Pokémon was covered in a pinkish light before being sucked into the Poké Ball. Dropping onto the ground, the Love Ball shook once, then twice, and finally a third time before clicking shut, indicating that the capture was a success. Gold pumped a fist out of relief and scooped the ball into his hand before looking at Bugsy and asking, "I can keep it, right?" "You caught it, you keep it. Though given how it's a Pokémon that came fresh from the wild, it may be a while before it fully listens to you, so I'd recommend training it before you use it in any official battles. Training that Larvesta of mine was pretty damn stressful, I'll tell you... I almost burned down the Ilex Forest a few times while training him, so getting an Araquanid was a necessity." Bugsy nervously chuckled at the end of his short trip down memory lane. Clipping the Love Ball onto his belt, Gold walked over to Bugsy and enthusiastically shook his hand, saying, "We gotta battle again someday, this was really fun!" "Glad you enjoyed it, good luck on the rest of the Johto Gym challenge, Gold!" Bugsy watched as Gold waved back while exiting the Gym, and he thought to himself, "Kid's got a good head on his shoulders... hopefully he doesn't run into Team Rocket again like he did at the Slowpoke Well."
In the Pokémon Center, Gold passed all of his Poké Balls to Nurse Joy and sat in one of the chairs in the lobby, waiting for his Pokémon to get healed. Out of curiosity, he took out the incubator that held the Egg that Professor Elm had entrusted him with, and he began to closely scrutinize it. He had heard some sounds coming out from his bag that were most likely the Egg in the aftermath of the Slowpoke Well incident, and his curiosity had only increased when he heard the Egg bounce off the side of the incubator he had kept it in while walking to the Pokémon Center. After waiting a few minutes and seeing nothing happen, Gold was about to put the incubator back into his bag until he heard something crack. His eyes widening, Gold slowly and carefully rotated the incubator to see where said noise had come from. Upon seeing a crack in the Egg's side, Gold walked up to Nurse Joy's counter and waited for her to come back with his Poké Balls. Once she came back, Gold thanked her and took back his Pokémon before carefully lifting his incubator out of the bag and asking, "Nurse Joy, how am I supposed to catch a recently hatched Pokémon?" Nurse Joy took the container from Gold and inspected it thoroughly before taking out a tray of Poké Balls and asking, "Which one would you like? Since Azalea Town is home to Kurt, he donates the excess Poké Balls he makes to us!" Gold looked through the tray before settling on a green Poké Ball with four red markings and a yellow one on top, saying, "This one looks nice. Can I use that one?" "Oh, the Friend Ball? Of course! Your Egg is likely to hatch within the next half hour, so could you wait just a little bit longer? I'm sorry for the inconvenience." "Oh no, it's no problem at all." Gold then saw Nurse Joy slide two cards and a pen to him, and he asked, "What are these for?" "If you want to nickname your recent catches, then scrawl down the names you have planned and I'll register them! Just make sure it's nothing too offensive... my cousins from Unova had a bit of a holdup regarding the registration of Trainers' Cofagrigus into the system one time." Gold raised an eyebrow at that as Nurse Joy took his incubator into the back, and after heading back to the bench he had been waiting at, he took out the Love Ball and sent out the Heracross, who glared at him with a surly expression as Gold also took out his Pokédex and scanned him to register Heracross into the encyclopedia, along with receiving information about his moves and Ability (which was Guts). Putting the pen to his chin as he looked at Heracross, Gold began mulling over what he could possibly nickname it. "Kamemushi sounds pretty cool... but it's a mouthful. Sigma? Nah, doesn't sound that nice. Choco... where did that even come from? Umeki, Otori, Ranai, Etsuji, Kuro... wait, wait, wait, that last one doesn't sound that bad, actually." Gold scrawled 'Kuro' down and then flipped the card around to show Heracross, who simply shrugged and nodded, not caring whatever he was named. "Alright, Kuro it is!" Gold recalled Kuro and then waited until Nurse Joy called for him, and he took both cards with him to the counter. Once he got there, Gold passed the card that he had written towards a returning Nurse Joy, who thanked Gold for the card before passing him the Friend Ball he had asked for his hatched Pokémon to be caught in. "I would recommend picking one nickname for a recently hatched Pokémon and sticking with it, as newborn Pokémon tend to be easily impressed on." Gold carefully clicked the Friend Ball Nurse Joy had given him, and out of it emerged a small, round Pokémon that was still partially encased in the eggshell who immediately clung onto Gold's right leg in an affectionate fashion. Gold winced when the Pokémon's spiky head made contact with his exposed shin, but he still lowered himself down to its level, holding the card and pen in his hands. Gold then tried to think of a name, which went by much quicker than it did for Kuro, and he settled on 'Thorn.' Looking down at the Pokémon, Gold said, "Nice to meet you, Thorn, I'm Gold," before scanning it with his Pokédex. Once the data was registered, Gold looked at the Pokémon's entry and saw that it was a Togepi, and that the one he had was male. Kneeling down, Gold touched the Friend Ball to Thorn's head, and he disappeared inside the Poké Ball. When he tried to stand up, however, the leg that Thorn had snuggled up to gave out, and he fell onto the floor, groaning, "Ouch..." Looking at his leg, he saw that the marks Thorn had left on his leg were slowly darkening into an ugly shade of purple. Nurse Joy noticed and winced before getting a wheelchair out for Gold and saying, "What most people don't know is that the spikes on Togepi's head are actually poisonous... pretty deceitful for a Fairy-type, if you ask me," as she wheeled Gold into the intensive care unit for the night.
At the same time, Silver climbed out of the Slowpoke Well and angrily dusted off his jacket. He had heard rumors while traveling south from Violet City that Team Rocket had shown up in Azalea Town, and he had gotten there as fast as he could in an effort to stomp out the team of mere weaklings and blow off some steam in regards to his father. However, when he got to the town and was directed to the Slowpoke Well, he found out, much to his aggravation, that they had already retreated, having been beaten back by that stupid kid from New Bark Town... Gold, as he remembered from his eavesdropping back at the laboratory. Silver stormed into Azalea Town and headed for the Gym, striding past the League official and walking onto the leftmost of the three large Spinarak replicas. Upon reaching the next area of the Gym, Silver stepped onto another Spinarak replica and, after some nonsense regarding levers and sections of the track, found himself at the back of the Gym, where Bugsy, the Gym Leader of Azalea Town, stood on one end of the battlefield. "Congratulations for making it to the end of the Azalea Gym! You're most likely going to be the last challenger for today, I'm Bugsy-" "Cut the crap and start the battle now." Bugsy, though he was caught off guard by the challenger's rudeness, said, "Very well then!" before taking out a Poké Ball and continuing, "Go, Larvesta!" Rolling his eyes, Silver took out a Poké Ball of his own and said, "Zubat, make this quick."
The next day, Gold saw that the purple markings on his legs were gone, and he attempted to stand up in the room the staff had moved him to after his stay in the ICU the previous night. Setting both of his feet on the floor carefully, Gold sighed in relief when it turned out that his right leg had basically made a full recovery. Grabbing his bag and Poké Balls from the room's night table, Gold walked out of the room and towards the phone—which consisted of a number pad and a large screen—in the reception hall of the Pokémon Center. Looking through his list of contacts on the Pokégear, Gold found Professor Elm's number and dialed it onto the number pad before patiently standing in front of the screen, waiting for Elm to either accept or go to voicemail. After a bit, Professor Elm appeared on the screen and said, "Oh, hi Gold!" "Good morning, Professor. I actually have some news to share with you!" Elm's eyebrow rose out of curiosity, and he asked, "Oh, do you now? That's wonderful!" "So, the Egg that you told me to get from Mr. Pokémon hatched last night... and it turned out to be a Togepi." "A Togepi, huh? That's... actually the best find Mr. Pokémon has ever showed me, I hear that wild Togepi are exceptionally rare across the world! May I see it?" "Sure thing." Gold unclicked the Friend Ball from his belt and sent out Thorn, who upon landing on the table, bounded towards Gold, who carefully grabbed him by his shell and turned him around, saying, "Not this time, Thorn." Clearing his throat, Gold continued, "Anyways, Professor, this is Thorn, say hi to him!" "Oh, hello Thorn!" The Togepi waved back for all of five seconds before trying to jump back onto Gold, who quickly recalled him and clipped the Friend Ball back on his belt. Noticing how Gold looked quite out of breath after recalling Thorn, Professor Elm asked, "How come you look so nervous around him? He's quite affectionate, and according to researchers such as Professor Rowan and the personal accounts of Cerulean City Gym Leader Misty Waterflower, the more friendly a Togepi is, the better they perform in battle..." "See Professor, the thing is, the Pokédex never told me that they have poison in their head spikes, I spent all of last night in the ICU because he nuzzled up to one of my legs and got it poisoned." On the other end of the line, Professor Elm sucked in a breath and said, "I'm really sorry to hear that, I'll be sure to share that with other regional Professors so that we can get the Pokédex updated with that information." Looking down at his buzzing wristwatch, Elm said, "I have a meeting I need to get to, I hope it's not too long before you call me again, Gold!" Though he was slightly disappointed that he never got to show off Kuro and Frostbite, Gold nodded and bade Professor Elm farewell before ending the call and dialing his house number. After three rings, his mom picked up and cheerily said, "Gold! How are you?" "Hey Mom, how's it been like at home?" "Oh, it's been going well! Apparently Crystal's decided to take up the dedicated role of Elm's field researcher, from what I remember her mother telling me... so you just might end up running into her on your travels!" Gold raised an eyebrow at that, remarking, "She's come a long way from being freaked out at the sight of Pokémon when we were kids..." "It's great, isn't it?" Letting out a noise that indicated agreement, Gold ended the call with, "Mom, I have to go now, but be sure to check your mailbox in the next few hours, I'll be sending you half of my prize money." "Oh, okay, good luck on the rest of your challenge, sweetie, and most importantly, have fun!" Gold then hung up and went to the front counter, asking Nurse Joy if there was anywhere he could buy a camera. Much to his disappointment, Nurse Joy shook her head, her Chansey imitating her as she did so, but she did offer to take a picture of Gold with the camera that the Pokémon Center owned, and he accepted. After a bit of a fuss with getting his two new captures to get into frame, plus a narrow miss from getting glomped by Thorn, Gold managed to get Frostbite, Snaggletooth, and Kuro within frame, while he was holding Thorn as to not get poisoned again. As Nurse Joy readied the camera, Kuro folded his arms and looked away from the camera, Snaggletooth performed a single-handed handstand, and Frostbite raised a hand and waved it towards the camera. Gold, with a nervous smile on his face (due to how close Thorn's spikes were to his chin), slightly lowered the Spike Ball Pokémon. The flash went off, and when it was over, Gold recalled everyone except for Thorn before walking over to Nurse Joy, who was waiting for the film from the camera to settle. Once it did, she handed the picture over to Gold, who laughed upon seeing Snaggletooth's silly pose. Pocketing the photo, Gold walked out of the Pokémon Center, holding Thorn in his hands as carefully as possible before walking over to the town's Poké Mart to buy some mailing material and medicinal materials, some of them for his Pokémon and some of them for himself (the Antidotes in particular were mostly for himself). Once he paid one of the two clerks at the register, Gold temporarily recalled Thorn to slip both the photo he had taken and half his PokéDollars into the envelope he had just purchased before writing his mother's address on the envelope. Turning to the other clerk, Gold asked, "Do you guys handle outgoing mail?" "Yeah, we do!" Taking out a Poké Ball, the clerk sent out his Delibird and handed Gold's letter to the dual Ice/Flying-type, who read the address on the envelope before skipping out of the Pokémon Center and using Fly to take to the skies. Gold then sent out Thorn once again and scooped him into his arms before running out of the Poké Mart to see the Delibird disappear from his field of vision. Once it was gone, Gold then walked to the Azalea Town checkpoint, earning himself an interested look from the guard inside the checkpoint as he saw the Pokémon that was in Gold's arms. Walking out of the other end of the checkpoint, Gold found himself in the Ilex Forest, a dense woodland that was shrouded in shadow. Noticing two branching pathways after walking a short distance, Gold opted to continue on the path in front of him rather than go to the right, and after walking a short distance, he found a small, neglected shrine that was covered in overgrowth. Walking up to it in awe, he saw the corner of what looked like a stone tablet, and Gold brushed off the overgrowth that was covering it, revealing an inscription: "This shrine is dedicated to the Voice of the Forest, who will only return when Johto is at peace."Wondering what that possibly could have meant, Gold walked away from the shrine thinking about what he had seen. Rounding a corner, Gold did not see where he was going and bumped into someone, almost dropping Thorn as he did so, though he made a quick save by recalling Thorn as soon as he began to slip out of Gold's grasp. Looking up, Gold saw that he had bumped into had a shock of red... hair... "Oh no, not this guy again..."
Silver felt someone bump into his back before hearing the sound of a Pokémon getting recalled into its ball, and he whirled around, only to see that kid he had run into back in Cherrygrove City, which made his blood boil. With a huff, Silver roughly shoved him away and was about to walk off before something clicked in his head. Looking back at him, his eyes slightly squinted in thought, Silver asked, "Tell me, is it true that you beat Team Rocket in the Slowpoke Well?" "Uh... yeah?" The lack of conviction in his voice told Silver all he needed to know, and he sneered before saying, "You're lying, prove it to me if you really did," unclipping one of his Poké Balls in challenge. Gold, though slightly taken aback by how quickly the request had come, complied, taking a Moon Ball out of his bag and sending out what looked to be... a Sandshrew? Silver thought nothing of it, however, and sent out his Zubat in turn. "Frostbite, use Ice Shard!" "Quick Guard." The Sandshrew generated several chunks of ice and hurled them at Zubat, who quickly flapped his wings and generated a red shield in front of him, and the ice shattered harmlessly against the barrier when it made contact. Without missing a beat, Silver said, "Whirlwind." Zubat generated a strong gust which sent Frostbite back a good distance, while Gold was struggling to hold his ground. Once Zubat stopped using Whirlwind, Silver saw Gold recall his Sandshrew and send out his Totodile, who leaped out of the Poké Ball and fired a Water Gun at Zubat, who narrowly managed to dodge the attack before circling overhead like a Mandibuzz, dodging the Water Gun bursts that were intended to snipe him out of the sky. "Snaggletooth, Aqua Jet!" Down on the ground, Silver's eyes widened in surprise as the Totodile rocketed off the ground, leaving behind a small plume of water that quickly dissipated in his wake. Looking up, Silver yelled, "Wing Attack, smash it back into the ground!" Zubat did a barrel roll away from the oncoming Totodile before slapping him in the face using his wings, which only served to aggravate him further. Watching as the Totodile opened his mouth, Zubat saw something glow in there, muttering, "What the-" before retreating from an oncoming Ice Fang, though not unscathed, as the attack had clipped his left wing, causing him to steadily descend as to not put so much strain on himself. "What is wrong with you?! Fly higher and use Wing Attack!" "Ice Fang!" Zubat slowly began to rise higher to get back to the Totodile's altitude, but he was so determined to do so that he failed to notice that the Totodile was crashing back down on top of him with Aqua Jet and Ice Fang. The Aqua Jet hit first, pushing Zubat down towards the ground, and then the water dissipated as the Ice Fang made contact, piledriving him into the floor and knocking him out. Silver clicked his tongue in annoyance and muttered, "Useless Pokémon..." as he recalled Zubat, before reaching for Bayleef's Poké Ball and said, "Finish the job and make it quick!" Bayleef, having evolved just recently, landed on the ground and growled at the Totodile, saying, "So we meet again... Snaggletooth."Snaggletooth bared his fangs and replied, "You're going down!" before lunging in with Ice Fang. Bayleef backed away before snaring Snaggletooth in one of his vines. As Snaggletooth flailed in his grasp, yelling, "Hey! Let me go!" as he fruitlessly shot Water Gun after Water Gun at him, Bayleef smirked and swung his vine towards a tree, slamming Snaggletooth into it before slamming him into the ground, releasing him immediately after. "Ancient Power, end this now!" Bayleef reared back and stomped his frontal legs, which were glowing with a purple aura, down onto the ground, unearthing six rocks that contained fossilized plant within them. Looking at a recovering Snaggletooth, he hurled them at him before flinging a Razor Leaf barrage his way for good measure. Much to his surprise, however, Bayleef saw that Snaggletooth was beginning to use Dragon Dance, and in the midst of his performance, Snaggletooth vaulted on top of one rock and hopped off of it before using Aqua Jet and ramming headlong into Bayleef, the smoky red veil around Snaggletooth fading away as Bayleef was pushed back by the Aqua Jet in spite of his innate resistance to Water-type attacks. "Finish this with Ice Fang!" "Vine Whip! Put him in the ground!" Snaggletooth dodged past two of Bayleef's strikes as he charged in, his fangs slowly being coated in a sheen of ice, and once he was close enough, he leapt towards Bayleef in an all-or-nothing attempt at scoring his attack. Unfortunately for him, however, Bayleef hopped backwards and snared him in vines once more before smashing him into a tree once again. Looking at Snaggletooth, Bayleef taunted, "Looks like you're not up to snuff," before tossing him upwards and lashing him into the ground with a fierce Vine Whip strike. Bayleef watched with a cold satisfaction as Snaggletooth slid across the forest floor before coming to a stop in front of his astonished Trainer, clearly unable to continue. Behind Bayleef, Silver rolled his eyes and said, "You only beat a weakling of a Pokémon, there's no pride in that." Watching as Gold took a pink Poké Ball from his bag after recalling his Totodile, Silver heard him say, "Alright Kuro, show me what you can do!" as he clicked the capsule's button, releasing a Heracross who slowly hovered onto the ground before taking on a stance resembling that of a Hitmonchan. Silver idly flicked his hand in the Heracross' direction and coolly said, "Razor Leaf." Bayleef did just that, the leaf on its head glowing green as it fired another barrage of sharp greenery at the Heracross. "Arm Thrust!" Kuro took flight, hovering over the Razor Leaf and landing in front of Bayleef before battering him in the face and neck with a flurry of palm strikes, pushing him back a fair distance. "Grr... Poison Powder, then Reflect!" The leaves around Bayleef's neck began to rustle, and each of them unleashed a burst of toxic spores, creating a poisonous cloud that smothered Kuro and poisoned him. Silver watched as the Heracross' face became tinted with a purple hue, while in front of him, Bayleef began to glow with a bright pink light, indicating that his Reflect had gone up. "Kuro, Bug Bite!" The Heracross darted in and chomped down on Bayleef's body, causing an immense amount of pain to him in spite of the Reflect he had just set up. Using Headbutt to knock him away, Bayleef then used Ancient Power again, battering Kuro with a barrage of fossils before using Synthesis, though the healing the move provided him was not sufficient due to the limited sunlight in the Ilex Forest. Panting heavily, Bayleef could only watch as the Heracross flew towards him, his arms glowing a dull orange. Kuro struck the Bayleef three times with Arm Thrust, the third hit actually toppling him and leaving him on his side, definitely out of commission. Growling in frustration as he unclipped both his last Poké Ball as well as Bayleef's, Silver admonished his 'starter' with, "You were useless, you'd better redeem yourself soon," before sending out his last Pokémon, a Gastly he had caught while wandering through the Union Cave. After saying, "Say, you've got quite some nerve for a weak Trainer..." towards Gold, Silver looked to his Gastly and commanded, "Hex," and his Gastly complied, creating a sphere of black energy that pulsated in an unnerving way before emitting three black rings that washed over Kuro, causing him to clutch his head in pain before keeling over, having fainted from the overwhelming amount of strain that the Hex had put on him. Wincing as he recalled Kuro, thanking him for his efforts, Gold began thinking to himself, "Do I want to send out Frostbite or Thorn? Frostbite has more experience in battle, and she'd do well against this Gastly... but I want to give Thorn a shot in battle... ah, why the heck not?" Pulling out the Friend Ball, Gold clicked the button on the capsule and watched as Togepi emerged out of the ball... before running up to Gold in an effort to glomp him. However, Gold caught him by his shell and turned him around, asking, "We've got a battle to win, think you're up for it, Thorn?" Thorn thought on it for a bit before nodding, and in front of him, the Gastly laughed before using Curse, fully intending to make Thorn suffer. Down on the ground, Thorn winced as the Curse began to take hold, but he still waggled one of his arms to use Metronome. After a brief pause, a bluish flame appeared on his hand, slowly growing in intensity, and Thorn flung the attack, which was Sacred Fire, at the Gastly. Gastly had no time to react, and the attack hit true, engulfing her in a concentrated wave of mystical flames, much to the shock of both Gold and Silver. Once the controlled firestorm ended, Gastly was still hovering about, albeit with a slight flicker to her body to indicate that she was slowly becoming less and less in shape to battle. Before Silver could recall her and forfeit, however, Thorn's eyes began to glow gold, and he fired off two beams of multicolored energy from them, both of them hitting Gastly and knocking her out. Silver grit his teeth before returning Gastly, saying, "You were both weak and useless this time, all of you were!" Glaring at Gold, he said, "You got lucky this time, next time we meet, it's going to end very differently..." before storming through the forest and out of Gold's sight. Gold, though deep down he agreed with Silver's point about him being lucky considering what had just happened with Thorn, pushed the thought aside and sent out both Kuro and Snaggletooth, spraying the latter's wounds with a Super Potion and offering a Pecha Berry to the former. Much to Gold's surprise, Kuro, in a complete turnaround from his earlier demeanor, eagerly snatched the Pecha Berry from Gold's hand when it was offered to him and ate it in one go. Gold then recalled the two of them to let them rest for a while as he picked up Thorn and continued to walk through the Ilex Forest. After a while, Gold noticed a positively massive pile of Berries near a tree stump, but when he reached out for the Pecha Berries that he saw in there, a Pichu that was wearing a pair of goggles for some reason hopped out of a bush and let off some warning sparks to tell Gold to back off, and he did so, deciding that eating voltage from even a Pichu was just not worth it. Continuing on, Gold realized that he was getting lost within the forest, and was about to give up when he looked up and saw that it was getting close to evening, until he heard a feminine voice ask, "Excuse me, young man, could I ask for some of your assistance?"
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roule
Take it all, or leave it... I feel you
Posts: 39
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Post by roule on Jun 7, 2020 6:58:16 GMT
I think that this fic is really ambitious in its scale. Novelizations of the games has been something I have not attempted as a writer because of the large amount of work needed to complete it. However, you have done a good job on expanding the lore that has been already given by the games, and pushing it in an interesting direction. Specifically, and I know that everyone else has said this, but I really enjoy the expansion upon Silver, specifically his relationship with Giovanni and his character motivations from his childhood, in contrast to Gold's upbringing. However, I also felt that some of the descriptions in the first two chapters felt rather inconsistent, sometimes portions were described in detail, attention given to what was happening and where. Then other scenes got a sentence description at most, which felt very out of place in contrast. Not every scene is going to get the same description as others, mainly because not every scene has equal plot relevance, but either expanding on events or cutting down on descriptions will help make the change look less jarring. Overall, this is a very well done fic so far, and I can't wait to read more.
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Post by █ █ m a g i c k a █ █ on Jun 21, 2020 6:17:36 GMT
Alrighty, Book Club.
Y'know, I'm going to start this off by saying one thing - I'm biased. Y'see, I grew up with Pokemon Soul Silver. This game is near and dear to my heart, and as you can imagine, I am quite fond of Johto as a region. So, even though I'm not one to usually read trainer-fics or straight novelizations - though the first chapter indicates that this novelization is a bit bendy - I may be a bit kinder in this review than I might otherwise be.
Now, to start, I've read the prologue and first chapter. Generally, my impressions are positive. I appreciate the fact that we're switching between Silver and Gold's perspectives - though Gold has so far gotten much more screen time. I haven't found any grammar issues or blatant abuses of the common comma.
There were perhaps bits and pieces of the dialogue that felt a little stiff, but seeing as how this is the very start of the story, I'm willing to look past that under the assumption that the dialogue becomes more natural as the story progresses. The fight scenes also felt like they lacked a tiny bit of punch - they don't have much of a spectacle or "Woah," element to them. I suppose in that way it mirrors the games, though I do wish the fight scenes had a bit more oomph.
I will say, too, some of the alterations made in this first chapter from the games I don't mind, and some I do - and there's one in particular that I felt was a missed opportunity. Generally, most of the alterations made to skip tutorials was serviceable - especially the Pokeball tutorial, as not knowing how to use one in the games is extremely bizarre given how even young children in elementary school know how to catch Pokemon. I also will say that while I initially found the alterations to the Pokemon's movesets a bit off-putting, that impression was one I was quickly able to move past and let go of. However, one part that I think could've been done a bit better was when Gold's mother gave him the Pokegear.
As you know, in the games, when she gives you the Pokegear, she asks you if you know how to use it or not... and then proceeds to explain the device regardless of what you answer. I thought this would've been a great opportunity to inject a little comedic moment, perhaps a bit of motherly fussing - "Remember to call me, don't forget that you can listen to the radio on that - OH! And here's the options card, I almost forgot!" "Mooom!" "I'm sorry sweety, I just worry." "Heh, it's alright. (>wholesome son dialogue)" - y'know, that sorta thing. It might've even given us a bit of insight as to the nature of their relationship, and why Gold might have a particular attitude. If we use the "Mom is a Worry-er" route, I can imagine a more cautious version of Gold who double checks things just to make sure, and then you can see why he's that way just from how he interacts with his mom in the beginning.
Of course, I'm sure Gold isn't like that in the story going forward. This is, of course, just an example of something that I think you could've done. And just so we're clear, I'm not saying that what you did was bad at all. It was perfectly fine, and there's nothing wrong with it, I just felt there was something more to be had here.
Over all, though, this is of course just the prologue and first chapter. As I said, I actually have an overall positive impression about the story so far. Really, I just think it needs a bit more pizzazz. So, with that being the case, I'm going to say that this story so far is solid enough. If we're starting from this baseline - this solid foundation - than I can only imagine that whatever's coming next is going to be quite interesting.
Thumbs up from me.
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