The Tale of a Flareon

This is an interesting start! I always like a good fictional autobiography; that's a fun medium to work with, because there are so many directions you can take it in. It looks like you're already making some use of one of the tricks particular to this genre, too: there's clearly an interesting gap between Nuri as he is now and Nuri as he is in his recollection. He recognises that he got more attention than he deserved, and yet still resented Sanuye for not recognising the attention she herself got. That he's able to say any of this at all speaks to some time spent mulling over his past, and the attainment of a level of insight he didn't have before.

There is, however, quite a lot of explanation of things that both your actual readers and also the implied readers that Nuri imagines, already know. He's a flareon from near Jubilife: who exactly is he writing for that he feels he has to explain things like what flareon or eevee are, or what evolution is? In his world, all of this is common knowledge; it's a bit like if you were to write your own autobiography and included a brief explanation of what humans looked like. So there's no real reason for Nuri to write it – and no reason for you, either, since you're writing for pokémon fans, and you can be pretty sure that even the most blinkered Gen I fanatic knows what an eevee is.

I also think that this feels a bit more like the first part of a first chapter than it does a prologue. It's a lot more substantial than a prologue would be, you know? Not just a brief scene to whet the appetite, but a full-on beginning to the story. It's not quite what I'd expect of a prologue, really. I guess you meant to raise a bunch of questions and then leave them unanswered, with things like Nuri's refusal to say what it is that made him hate Sanuye, but I don't think it quite has the same effect.

Anyway, here are a few typos and things I spotted as I read through:

That should be “be” rather than “being”.

I'm not sure this quite makes grammatical sense. I'd say “were” rather than “have been”, though that makes the “even to this day” read a bit awkwardly. It might be easier to restructure the sentence completely than to fiddle with it to make it work.

Not a typo, but at this point it's becoming really apparent how uncomfortably paternalistic and chauvinist these eevee are, huh.

That should be “about” rather than “of”.

That should be “human” rather than “humans”.

All of that out of the way – yeah, it's an interesting start, huh? It's all very open right now; it could go in all kinds of different directions. I have a sense of the emotional tone it's going to take, but that's all. I look forward to finding out more as it gets going!

Here we go with the first chapter! Previously, Nuri spoke about his family and how horribly egotistical he is. Now, it's time to delve into this simple Flareon by first going into the final battle he had as an Eevee.

Chapter Links
Prologue
Chapter 1 (You Are Here)
Chapter 2 (In the Works)

---

Now, when I was young, I was the most disliked of the siblings. One main reason was how I tended to exhibit my strength over everyone else. I would always win in combat by using some mean tactics like jumping on top of them and forcing them down, or pushing them off their paws by tackling their side and pinning them to the ground. Another reason was my ego. I already explained myself as a brat, so no reason to chew a bone with little meat.

Of course, there were some reasons to still like me. When I wasn’t being an idiot, I was pretty caring and loyal, which were few in between. Most of the time, I wanted to be the best Eevee of my family, so I showed off. A lot. At least, as much as I can remember. Been a long while since I was an Eevee, but most of my memories are just me fighting my siblings before I evolved. Of course, the one that stands out most in my mind is my last battle as an Eevee.

---

“Hey, no fair!” a small Eevee yelled, smothered by my long fur. “Get off!”

“If you really want to win, you have to overpower me!” I countered, keeping my balance as I pinned her forepaws to the ground.

This was the usual battle I had with Nikki. It started with a challenge after a whole bunch of gloating about myself. She accepted the challenge and I proceeded to defeat her. Then I gloated about myself even more. Always happened in the Fighting Grounds, a flat dirt area surrounded by the forest trees. Suitable for seeing all action on the battlefield. Specifically, seeing me.

Sunlight shone brightly with no cloud in sight; a perfect day to show off my awesomeness in another battle. Looking toward the other Eevees watching from the sidelines, I started my usual ‘gloat taunts’. “See? I can’t be beaten! I’m the most awesomest Eevee ever!” Or something to that effect.

Of course, after so many times of me defeating Nikki, they ignored me and were doing their own thing. Except Neve who, as usual, was glaring at me. Par for the course, since I loved gloating too much. They all really hated when I was like this. I would just wait until Nikki would cry out that she had enough and we would go off our separate ways.

Usually.

In this instance, I started the taunting a bit too early. She still had some fight left in her. Nikki, while struggling, used the move Bite and chomped down on my wrist. I let out a surprised yelp before finding myself thrown on the ground and Nikki shoving her paws on my chest. I laid in a daze, and both of us stared at each other blankly. We both stayed stunned until cheers for Nikki started erupting.

Reasserting myself, I gave Nikki a small smirk before sliding my hind paws on her belly and pushing her off. She flew off and landed on her back while I rolled back onto my paws. Still grinning, I taunted, “Come on, you think my same pinning trick is going to work on me?”

As she got to her paws, she shot a quick glare before using Quick Attack to charge at me in a white glow. I did the same and, before we collided, I threw myself to the side. Again, she surprised me when she skidded to angle herself towards me again. I dug my paw into the ground and threw a pawful of dirt into her face. Hitting right in her eyes, she lost balance and tripped, her face sliding into the ground.

I jumped on top of her, pinning her paws to the ground. She let out a muffled grunt while I stood and grinned.

“Nice try, Nikki!” I mocked. “But you still can’t beat me!”

“Get off…” she muttered, spitting out some dirt from her mouth. A wave of disappointed ‘awws’ sounded from the crowd as I moved off of her. Nikki attempted to wipe off the dirt in her eyes before Neve came over and helped her out.

I hopped over to everyone and posed. “Again, that’s why your brother is awesome!” I exclaimed. The other Eevees walked away, mumbling to themselves. My mood deflated a bit by the apparent new trend of the others leaving in my moment of glory, but I took any glory moment from my siblings, even if the reaction was unpleasant.

Of course, that moment was always shattered by the next recurring trend of my nuisance of a sister coming along and ruining my fun. “Always so boastful when dominating the second oldest, are you not?”

I scoffed, turning myself to meet my loathsome sister. “You’re one to talk,” I retorted, glaring towards her. “You never battle at all!”

Sanuye gave a haughty smirk, causing my blood to boil at the sight. “I always find your amusement of combat to be enough.”

“That’s not the same!” I snarled, knowing where we were going with this. She says something that gets on my nerves, we argue, and she would win the argument in the end. I hated every moment of it because I had no control over my temper. “Watching and fighting are two completely different things!”

“I do not fathom why I even bother watching in the first place if the outcome is constant,” she stated nonchalantly, not even bothering to look serious as she climbed up a rock and stretched onto it. “You provoke her. She fights back and succumbs to your brutish behavior. I waste such valuable time observing when I could be reading.”

Each word of that last sentence caused me to only get more and more infuriated at the sight. “You think you’re so much better because of those stupid human books? They don’t teach you anything about fighting, do they?”

She looked at me with a bored expression. “These humans books have more knowledge than your feeble mind can comprehend.” As if on cue, she reached behind the rock and pulled out one of those human books and opened it up. “You’re just jealous that I have the capacity to learn while you smash your head on a tree for training.” She put her paw onto her forehead and added with an exaggerated despair, “Oh, I am so sorry! I really should not insult your squashed mind! It’s such a tragedy you cannot even comprehend this text on this book!”

“Shut up! I could read any of those stupid books! Gimme that!” Rushing towards her, I swiped the book from her paws. I opened it up the way Sanuye usually does and looked at the markings spread all across, each stacked on top of each other in straight lines. I stared blankly at the pages, my anger subsiding to realize I walked into yet another one of her traps.

“… Well, big brother?” she asked after a long pause, her voice oozing with sarcastic delight. “What does it say?”

I closed the book and gave it back to her, using all my willpower to not throw that hard-cover at her head. “Fine, I can’t read,” I admitted begrudgingly, “but that doesn’t prove anything!”

She sniggered, slipping the book back behind the rock. “It confirms I’m smarter than you.”

I huffed, taking a furious step forward. “Well, I’m stronger!”

“Brute strength is for those that lack intelligence,” she quipped back, not even bothering to return his gaze as she laid on top of the rock.

“I’d like to see you try to put your intelligence in a fight!” I challenged, trying to aggravate her into fighting. Which never worked.

At this point, she sounded bored, rising my anger levels even higher. “A smart Pokémon fights carefully. A smarter Pokémon avoids fights. But since you’re not a smart Pokémon, it’s the logical conclusion you just fight.”

“You’re just afraid I’ll defeat you!” I yelled, not even bothering to think as my temper got the best of me. I got myself into a fighting pose. “So fight me!”

She glanced over, showing a bit of irritation in her own eyes. “Fighting you is just a cry for humiliation. I refuse to fight you because I know you will defeat me easily.”

This threw me off. Usually, she would say ‘not interested’ or ‘whatever’, or just continue to mock me until I gave up. She continued, “My fights are chosen carefully. I’m not like Nikki who gets stirred into action by a few choice words. Besides, what are you achieving from battering a small little Eevee like me?”

The question caught me even more off guard. “What do I… achieve?”

She slid off the other side of the rock and walked past me, book on her back. She smirked at me and said, “Face it. You are nothing without your ‘winning streak’. Without it, you’re nobody.” She flung a bit of dirt into my face, shooting up my nose. I gagged, coughing out the dirt caught in my throat. She shook her tail at me and stated, “Consider that basis as you continue to dwindle in repugnance within our siblings.”

I glared at Sanuye as she walked off. When she was out of sight, I groaned. While Sanuye was obnoxious, she was right about two things. The only thing I was good at was winning in battles, and everyone hated me because of it. Sanuye was the more favorite of everyone because she was able to give advice from those stupid books.

Feeling defeated, I was going to train a bit more before Arika came around. She barely looked towards me but to my surprise, she was headed straight towards me. I couldn’t help but stare at her. My body tensed up, keeping any sudden movements limited. I could see the fear behind her eyes, so keeping my voice steady, I asked, “Is something wrong?”

Just my voice made her freeze on the spot. She faced down and positioned herself to bolt. However, she stood still and managed to say, “Dad wants to talk with you.”

I looked towards where father’s cave was. Father wants to talk with me? I thought. Why would he send Arika? He usually gets me himself.

Looking back, Arika ran off towards her own part of the forest. Nervousness starting to grow in me, I left immediately for father’s place. I wondered what exactly father wanted to talk about and why he would send Arika, of all Eevees, to send the message.



I arrived to the entrance of the cave in the clearing of the forest to find my father sitting in front. The flat, dirt ground in front of the cave had had multiple patches of grass here and there. The leaves never littered the ground as mother kept the place tidy. As soon as I met my father’s gaze, I shivered. His eyes were as piercing cold rivers, shooting right through my soul. Clearing my throat in hopes of clearing my own rising anxiety, I asked, “You wanted to talk to me, father?”

His unmoving eyes only unnerved me more as he spoke clearly. “You’ve been forcing Nikki to battle. Explain.”

The last word chilled my spine. When Father went short-worded, everyone knew he was angry. I froze up on the spot and found it difficult to move, much less speak. I knew that Nikki was pretty easy-going and wouldn’t ever tell on me, so if he knew, someone must have told him. Was it Sanuye? Arika? Neve?

As the questions circulated my mind, I could barely look into my father’s eyes as I admitted the truth. “Nobody wants to fight me. Nikki’s the only one who actually fights me when I challenge her. Everyone stays away from me, so I always have more time to train and get stronger, and Nikki is the only one who I can fight, so I bother her until she fights me.”

My father stared at me, and with each passing second, it became a little more stifling to breathe. “Nuri,” he finally said after so many scrutinizing seconds. “Your sisters and brothers aren’t for you to fight against. As the eldest of the siblings, you must be there to help guide and protect them. If you force them to fight unwilling, your siblings could be extremely hurt.”

Bowing my head, I apologized. “Sorry, Father.”

He studied me for a while longer before setting himself in front of me. “Our family is growing larger.” He gazed towards the forest where most of my siblings were playing. “Belluanda and I cannot keep an eye out for each and every one of us. Even at this moment, she’s collecting the harvest of berries outside the boundaries of our sanctuary due to the lack from our own gardens.”

He relaxed his sight back onto me. “As such, you must remember your duties as the eldest of the family. On the rising sun of tomorrow, we will gather our family together for an important meeting.”

I blinked in surprise. Before I could ask, he interrupted, “I will not tell you of the reason, but know that after this meeting, your duties as a big brother will grow. You will need to improve not only your own strength of prowess, but will improve even more important skills.”

I continued to stay silent, not wanting to get into any further trouble despite my objections. My father turned towards the other side of the cave. “The strength of heart. The strength of mind. The strength of spirit. You will need to grow in all areas to become a greater sibling. A greater Pokémon. And, in the future, a greater parent. Strength in power can only bring so much.”

He turned back to me, his gaze focused. “You must be there for them if we cannot. Help them in all you can until they set out their own paths. One day, your journey will come, so you must also help prepare them for what’s in store. There will be times when it may become too much, but know they can help you. You are not alone.”

I attempted to process this new information, but was unsure how to take all this in. My father closed his eyes again and, almost as if he read my mind, stated, “I know this is much to take in, especially at a young age, but it is important for you to know now if anything happens. You may make mistakes, but aim to become a better you. It’s not going to be all at once, but I want you to do things that will make you become better.” He opened his eyes again and stared at me. “Can you promise me you will do all I have asked?”

I looked blankly at my father, almost ready to say ‘Could you repeat all of that?’ or ‘You have the wrong Eevee!’, but I only managed to say, “Sure… Yeah… I’ll try…”

He nodded, giving a more comforting smile. “I apologize for placing all that on you, but you must understand your duties as the eldest. You’ll need to start caring more for your siblings soon, but I know you will succeed. I shall see you tomorrow at Noon’s Break.”

I forced a small smile and said, “Yeah… Tomorrow.”

As I walked away, I tried to focus on all I was told, but found myself feeling even more stressed. How can I be caring for my siblings if they hate me? What can I even do to improve? Am I even the right Eevee for this? I know Father never leads us wrong, but what if I forget something? What if I can’t be the best big brother?

There were too many spiraling doubts in my head as I headed back to my training ground.

Reading both the prologue and the first chapter I'm left with the same thought eldestoyster had, but a bit more generally: Who or what is Nuri writing this for? And I think in these early parts of the fic, that's a big draw for me - sure, Nuri himself says in the first paragraph that he's just a plain old Flareon with a bit of an ego, but that's exactly the humble tone someone with an interesting story would take. While sure, I want to see how Nuri grows as a character with the promise of him being introspective at the end of it all, I'm also interested to see where you're going with this, as the way you introduce it seems like there's more to it than "Nuri learns life lessons."

Of course, even without that speculative part on my end, it's still an interesting story, and it's already shaping up to be a good coming-of-age narrative. There's always something fascinating about a protagonist going back in their personal life story and highlighting which events really shaped who they are now.

So yeah, good job with this! Looking forward to what's gonna happen next. (And if I had to bet on something, I'm gonna bet it involves a Fire Stone.)