Part TwoContent warning:
{Spoiler}Swearing. Severe violence. Death. Drug use portrayed in a comedic fashion. Bullying (including one instance of incitement to suicide).
Although the roof of the main daycare building wasn’t much higher than twelve feet off the ground, it was nevertheless the tallest structure within the daycare that could be easily stood upon. A wingless yellow duck was standing near the unfenced edge of that lofty realm, casting a contemptuous gaze at all the pokémon below. “Just look at all those pathetic simpletons, playing and frolicking without a care in the world, utterly unaware of the absolute meaninglessness of their shallow lives. They don’t know what it’s like to
suffer- to experience the unbearable throbbing agony that occupies almost all my waking moments. Yet, would I choose to switch places with one of them, to experience the bliss of ignorance and health? No, never! For only I realize the true nature of our existence on this planet- mere playthings created by the gods for their cruel amusement. And, with that veil cast from my senses, I alone can rebel against the fate created for me, forging my own meaning, my own destiny-”
“Hi Psyduck!” a voice trilled from behind, causing said pokemon to quack in alarm and come frighteningly close to tumbling off the roof. Turning around, she noticed a particular pink cat standing right behind her.
“Do you
mind!? I was trying to monologue!” Psyduck spat, spittle flying from her beak.
“Really? It kinda looked like you were just standing there talking to yourself,” Espeon said.
“That’s exactly what- urgh, never mind. What do you want?”
“Wellll… I was sorta hoping you might be able to teach me a psychic attack! I like, just evolved this morning so it’s totally understandable that I don’t know any yet.”
Psyduck gave a derisive snort. “Are not the inescapable torments the world inflicts upon our psyches every day tutor enough? As merely one example, all of us are forced to either conform to the strict mandates of society and face the internal agony of strangling our authentic selves, or to face the external agony of being mocked and ostracized by our peers.”
Espeon’s tail waved back and forth uncertainly. “Um, no? I was kinda thinking-”
“-that the dilemma can be avoided by finding individuals who share your innermost values and ideals, to whom you can show your authentic self without fear of scorn and rebuke? No, Espeon, no! For is not the pain of discovering that you and each of your supposed friends were deceiving each other about their supposed true selves, as even the most honest of us are inevitably bound to do by the strict shackles of our limited language, which always falls short of expressing our true meaning – is not
that pain ten times worse than either of the previous agonies you sought to avoid?”
“Uh, I kinda meant the sort of psychic attack where you, like, blast someone with some sort of energy thingy.”
A dull ache began to creep into Psyduck’s head, and she clutched her forehead with her webbed hands in her species’ familiar pose. “Oh, you mean the
plebeian type of mental attack. Ask Grumpig to teach you.”
Espeon sat on her haunches and pouted. “But I already did, and he didn’t wanna help! He just told me to do some boring meditation thing or whatever.”
“What could you possibly offer me to justify exchanging an afternoon of productive philosophical musings for time spent playing the role of a petty move tutor? A role that a mere
T.M. could accomplish?”
“I’ll tell you all the top-secret psychic stuff that only psychic-types get to learn – uh, like, whenever I learn it, that is. Come on, please? I’ve had, like, a really bad day and my head just hurts like,
sooo much whenever I try to do any psychic stuff on my own,” Espeon said, confident that this last point would win her sympathy with the migraine-suffering duck.
“Oh, yes, how
dreadfully terrible it must be to experience a modicum of cranial discomfort at the times you find convenient to practice psionic abilities,” Psyduck spat, her forehead-grip tightening. “How
awful, how
vexing it must be to- Wait. What would you
use a psychic attack for, in this hypothetical world where I teach you one?”
“It’s not like I’m planning on using it to hurt anyone or anything like that! I just, like… want other pokémon to respect me and stuff! Everyone thinks I’m dumb ‘cause I only know one move, but if I could learn just one more attack, it would prove that I could learn, like,
ten more moves if I wanted to!”
But Psyduck had stopped paying attention after the first part, lost in fantasies of Espeon going about blasting all her rivals with head-throbbing amounts of mental force, forcing everyone else to suffer like she did. “Very well, then. I suppose I can see my way to unveiling the secrets of the confusion attack if you exist in a state of such desperate need for it.”
“Wow, really? Thanks, Psyduck! I bet I’ll be like, the most confusing-est pokémon ever!” Espeon said, her tail and ears perking up as she got to her feet.
“Yes, yes, quite. To begin with, how have you been trying to use psychic attacks before?” Psyduck asked.
“Well, I’ve just sort of, like, tried to focus really really hard and scrunch my face up in different ways,” the cat replied.
“’Scrunch your face up’? It sounds like you’re confusing the visual symbols of concentration with the act itself.”
“So is that, like, a good thing or-”
“No,
you being confused is of no advantage to performing the attack,” Psyduck scoffed. “What you need to do is come up with a metaphor for conceptualizing your psychic power. Personally, I view mine as an inner scream that increases in volume until it finally bursts forth in an ululation of destructive anguish.”
“I’m not sure I know what that means, but it sounds awesome! I wanna see you do it now,” Espeon said.
Although Psyduck was reluctant to wear down her brilliant mind by channeling psychic energy through it unnecessarily, she had to admit to herself that it wasn’t likely that a subject such as Espeon would be able to grasp how to use confusion by verbal tutelage alone. “…I
suppose a demonstration might be edifying,” Psyduck said. She walked over and pulled up the lid of the roof’s trapdoor, then stood to the hinged side of it. “First, I visualize the result I expect my move to accomplish – that trapdoor slamming shut, like how cruel reality slams down on our hopes and dreams. This will help guide the move. Next, I force myself to envision a scream echoing within my skull, getting louder and louder with every moment until I can no longer bear it! And then…”
Psyduck opened her bill to give a loud quack, and Espeon felt a tingling sensation in the hairs on her back. The trapdoor jerked forward a few inches, and gravity pulled it shut. That was it? thought Espeon. She had really been hoping for some sort of big glowy laser beam or the like. “With a feat of the magnitude I just pulled off, I’m certain you must have sensed the psychic energy I unleashed. That should give you a hint of how that energy will feel like internally. Now, you must choose a form of mental visualization to be able to muster and control that power,” Psyduck said.
After pondering this for a while, Espeon finally got an idea. “…Okay, so what if I like, imagined a sort of big beam-cannon thingy strapped to my head that shot out all the psychic stuff? Would that work?”
“Any kind of metaphor can work as long as it’s a true representation of some facet of your psyche. Indeed, have we not all dreamed at times that if only we could express our ideas with the proper force and emphasis, they could overcome the barriers of ignorance and misunderstanding that imprison the plebeians around us, like a cannonball crashing through fortress walls? Which is to say that yes, I believe that kind of imagery could work quite nicely.”
“Awesome! I’m gonna try it out!” Espeon said. After standing up the trapdoor again for a target, she stood back and tensed her body as though about to spring upon some unsuspecting prey. With all her focus, she tried to visualize the details of her head-cannon, from its shiny chrome exterior to the futuristic lights and tubes filled with mysterious glowing liquid adorning it. Her head drooped with the imagined weight of the device, and her ears twitched away from the high-pitched whine Espeon thought it would make while it charged up. Pain started to build within her head once more, but this time Espeon tried to think about all the pain flowing up into her cannon, concentrating into a point, and exploding from its barrel in a beam of light. “TSSEEEEWW!” she yelled, and jerked back from pretend recoil. Opening her eyes, she noted the trapdoor standing exactly as it had been before. “Aw, what gives? I was trying really hard that time!”
“Persistence, Espeon, persistence. You must burn your imagery into your mind so you can see it as easily as if you were observing it with your eyes in the physical world.”
After several more tries without success, and having to endure repeated whines about Espeon’s “brain getting all achey,” Psyduck eventually came to a conclusion. “The problem is that you simply lack the mental strength to muster the level of energy requisite to performing the attack. It is as if you are trying to toss a boulder through a hoop when you cannot even lift it from the ground, and this straining to do something beyond your capacity is the source of your pain.”
“Wait, what? Does that… does that mean I’ll, like, never be able to learn a confusion attack? That’s totally not possible, right? I mean, like, I’m an espeon! My species is
super-psychic and stuff! You can’t just say I’m not strong enough!” Espeon wailed. Tears were once more building up in her eyes, and she tilted her head away from Psyduck.
“Cease your catastrophizing! I’m not saying you’ll
never learn how to perform confusion. You must simply practice to increase the amount of psionic energy you can use at once, like exercising any other muscle. Perhaps you should start with meditation.”
“But that’s exactly what Grumpig said!” Espeon whined. “I don’t want to waste all my time sitting on a rock in a funny pose with my eyes closed, just like, thinking about nothing or whatever meditation is! Isn’t there, like, an easier move I could learn? One I could use
now?”
“Confusion is widely considered to be the most basic form of psychic attack there is. There exists no more elementary move I could teach you.” It was also the only psychic move Psyduck knew.
Espeon’s tail and ears drooped, and she slowly walked towards the trapdoor exiting the roof. “Well… okay… Thanks for like,
trying, I guess…” Although the brief tutoring session had done nothing to improve Psyduck’s sympathy towards the pink cat, she couldn’t help but share in Espeon’s disappointment. Hearing that Espeon’s visualization took the form of a weapon had gotten the duck even more excited to watch Espeon blast away her petty rivals with migraine-inducing bursts of psychokinetic force, and to have spent so much time with the wearying cat for no payoff truly grated.
“…Wait. There is one thing you could do to make use of confusion today…”
“Really!?” Espeon said, whirling around so quickly she nearly tripped over her own legs.
“If you acquired Grumpig’s choice specs, their potential to amplify energy generation capacity
might enable you to produce the needed output for a confusion attack. But be warned that the power they offer is mastered only with great difficulty, so you must not-”
“Awesome, I’ll go get them!” Espeon interrupted. She immediately whipped around to face the trapdoor again, then stopped. “But wait, like, how am I gonna get Grumpig to give them to me?”
Psyduck moaned and tried to massage away the sudden pain taking up residence in her skull. “I’ll tell you only if you promise to not attempt wearing the choice specs alone! The effects they have on the inexperienced user can be quite severe, so you must wait until I can supervise you before you go shoving them on your face. Just bring them back here, and I’ll assist you in putting them on.”
“Okay, okay, I promise or whatever. So how can I get them?”
“Grumpig won’t be a problem. He’s currently engaged in a slumber of indefinite duration, yet one which I assure you will be longer than the time you’ll need his choice specs for. You’ll find them hidden in a case underneath the loose floorboard in the back right corner of the equipment shed.”
“Great, thanks Psyduck! I’ll be back in like, a light-second!” said Espeon, and turned to trot down the trapdoor stairs. Psyduck rubbed her webbed hands together as she watched her descend, envisioning a choice-spectacled Espeon blasting her foes over and over again.
“Oh, schadenfreude, truly you are my only joy in life…”
* * * * * *
Once she exited the daycare building, Espeon headed to Grumpig’s mud patch to verify that he was, indeed, fully asleep. Seeing the pig snooze in the mud so peacefully made her feel a twinge of guilt, but it soon passed. After all, she was only going to
borrow the choice specs, which was
totally different from stealing them. Nevertheless, the psychic cat couldn’t help but cast a few more glances back towards Grumpig as she headed towards the equipment shed, and then looked around to see if anyone was watching her when she arrived. She noticed Ditto, untransformed, peeking at her from behind a tree trunk, but they averted their eyes and oozed away as soon as Espeon met her gaze. After she was out of sight, Espeon turned to examine the wooden structure’s lone door. Although lacking a lock, and possessing a conveniently-shaped metal grip for a handle, it had been enough to keep Espeon out when she was an eevee. The door opened outwards, and the handle was too high up for her to reach.
But she wasn’t an eevee anymore. Espeon sat next to the door and arched her behind as high up as it would go, then reached for the handle with her tail. It was still a bit too high, but after trying several different positions, Espeon finally succeeded in getting the tips of her forked tail to wrap around the handle after standing on her front paws and bracing herself against the door. Ha, so there! That was
one special espeon skill mastered! Could any of the other eevee forms have done that with
their tails? Of course not! …Although, if that stupid sylveon had been watching, she could’ve just used her ribbons instead. And then she would have mocked Espeon for looking like an idiot with her butt thrust up in the air.
Ugh, why did she
still think about that sylveon sometimes? Come on, focus! Setting back to her task, Espeon pulled on the door’s handle with all her tail’s might. It didn’t budge. She then tried to walk forward and use her body to pull it open, but it was rather awkward to do so while standing on her front legs. As soon as she moved one paw forward, she found herself leaning back against the door even more, keeping it firmly closed. Frustrated, Espeon released her tail’s grip and turned to stare at the door. This would be a good time to learn telekinesis, she thought. …but who was she kidding? She knew she’d just screw it up and look even dumber than she already had if she tried to do a cool psychic thing like that. Maybe she should just give up on this whole venture. There was no way that some silly glasses would be enough to overcome her total incompetence, anyways.
…like
no freaking way was she going to give up! She
deserved to have awesome psychic powers, and
by Mew, she was going to
get them! Espeon got into the same position she had previously, but this time, instead of trying to move her front legs forward, she kicked off with her back legs while still holding onto the handle with her tail. This caused her to flip onto her back, pulling the door forward with her. It came to a rest as it bumped into her forehead, eliciting a slight twinge of pain in her crystal, but Espeon ignored it and scrambled to her feet. She whipped around and jammed a paw into the crack between door and frame, then squeezed her body through the gap.
The equipment shed smelled of musty wood and old leather. It smelled like
triumph. Grinning, Espeon strolled to the back-right corner of the shed, avoiding the rusty tools and loose nails strewn about haphazardly. Now, how to pry up that floor-board…? It was already sticking up a bit at one end, so Espeon simply leaped into the air and came down with all her weight on the opposite end of it, which sufficed to lever it up. She pulled aside the board and examined the small space beneath. Two black leather cases rested there. Wait,
two? Which one was for the choice specs? She’d just have to look at both of them, she guessed. Espeon reached down to pick up the larger of them in her teeth, then stopped. Grumpig might notice the bite-marks, she thought. Hey, she
had gotten smarter! No way would she have thought of that as an eevee!
Instead, Espeon used her front paws to drag the cases out. Getting the latches open took some time, but was eventually managed with careful use of her claws. The first and larger of the cases opened to reveal a velvet interior with eight indentations. Seven of these were filled with gym badges, polished to a point where even the dim light of the shed was enough to make them shine. Nothing was in the eighth.
The second case contained a pair of thick glasses Espeon assumed to be the choice specs. They were set within a plastic frame so that they were almost like goggles, and a flexible strap connected the ends of each arm. She grabbed them by the plastic part with her teeth, then walked to the shed’s door and carefully peered outside, intending to sneak back to the main building as soon as no one was looking.
Then, she paused. Espeon realized that Psyduck would have to put her webbed hands pretty close to her forehead if she was going to help put the choice specs on. What if it was just a ploy for Psyduck to steal her gem to use it to evolve into a golduck? Sure, Grumpig had said that psyducks didn’t evolve that way, but could she really take that chance? It
was pretty suspicious how insistent Psyduck had been that Espeon not try to put the specs on herself. Maybe the safest thing to do would be to just do exactly that and practice using confusion with them on her own.
But, how was she was going to fit them on her face? Maybe the side-pieces could fit between her ears and the weird little hair tufts underneath her ears, Espeon thought, but getting that strap around her head would be tricky. She attempted to hold the specs down with her forepaws and slide her head into them, but it didn’t work. Perhaps she really
did need Psyduck’s help with them. Or
someone’s, at least. Yet who else could she trust to not tell Grumpig about her little ‘borrowing’? There had been a time when Clefairy might have been that pokémon, but…
Frustrated, Espeon paced back and forth within the equipment shed, until her ears brushed against the handle of a shovel jutting out into the air. Aha! That could hold the specs for her! She didn’t need
anyone with a super-smart psychic brain like hers! After draping the strap around the handle, Espeon eventually managed to squeeze her head into the gap and drag the specs off the handle without letting them slip off. Immediately after she did so, the strap pulled tight against the rear of her head, and a wave of dizziness and nausea washed over her. Espeon closed her eyes and hoped the sensation would go away soon.
Just as she was beginning to think this might have been a bad idea, it did. Lifting her eyelids revealed that the glasses did nothing to interfere with her vision. Moreover, she was starting to feel a sense of manic excitement and restlessness, like she had the power to do anything and needed to do it
right! Now! Feeling her pulse start to race, Espeon crouched down into her head-cannon firing position and aimed at the door to the equipment shed. This was it! She was finally going to use a psychic ability for real this time! No pain arose in her head as she focused her energy using her now familiar visualization. Power was welling up within her, getting stronger, stronger – now! Espeon sprung towards the door and crashed into it headfirst, knocking stars into her vision. Before she could fully recover, she crouched down again and leapt into the door a second time, with similar results. Wait, what was she- Once more Espeon flung herself forward, but the door had been moved enough by her prior collisions that she only clipped its edge this time, and staggered out of the shed into the brightly lit daycare lawn.
“Hey, there she ish!” someone said. Blinking from the harsh light, Espeon looked left and right in a pained daze, before her eyes settled upon a small furry biped weaving and wobbling his way towards her. He wore a shiny mirror on a strap around his forehead, and carried a small doctor’s bag in one paw and a metal flask in the other. Slithering alongside him as he approached was Seviper, moving almost as sinusoidally as her companion was.
“She’s swaying, stumbling! Stroke seems severe! Supply surgery swiftly, Spinda!” Seviper said as the pair moved up next to Espeon, who was still reeling from her head-door collisions. Spinda came to a halt and dropped his medical bag on the grass, freeing up a paw to twist off the cap of his flask. He took a swig of what smelled to Espeon like some sort of berry juice while he looked her over. To her relief, neither of the two seemed to notice her wearing Grumpig’s choice specs.
“I just, like, bumped my head on something. I don’t need surgery!” Espeon protested.
“Are you sure? You look all worry – I mean, blurry, and theresh this hazy extrsha body that’s floating out of your firsht one! That
can’t be healthy!” Spinda slurred.
Espeon opened her mouth to ask what in Mew’s name he was talking about. “I just, like, bumped my head on something. I don’t need surgery!” she said. Wait, did she just say that again? That wasn’t what- “I just, like, bumped my head on something. I don’t need surgery!” Espeon repeated. To her confusion and growing concern, her mouth and tongue appeared to be moving on their own initiative and disregarding all other suggestions for what to do. “I just, like, bumped my head on something. I don’t need surgery!”
“Whoa, repeating yourshelf is a suretain stroke of a sign! You
definitely need shurgery!” Spinda said. He bent over and started sorting through his medical bag as he spoke. “Now, a shtroke happens when there’s too mush blood in the brain. So to get all the exshtra blood out, I’m going to have to – hic! – trepanate.” Spinda withdrew a small paw drill from the bag and gave the crank a few experimental spins, producing a horrible grinding noise as the ancient drill bit spun in place. Espeon found herself staring at the ominous device in sick fascination. Was that reddish stuff on the end rust, or-
“Seviper, pleashe restrain the pashient,” Spinda slurred. Yeah,
no. Espeon turned to run, but Seviper lunged with astonishing speed, knocking her down. Before she could regain her feet, the viper was coiling her body around the psychic cat’s slender frame, immobilizing her. “Hold realllll shtill now,” Spinda said, approaching with the drill. His arm wavered back and forth as he attempted to align the implement with Espeon’s head, which was jerking and thrashing about as she squirmed within Seviper’s grip. Despite her efforts, Espeon only succeeded at shaking the choice specs off her head – but maybe that would let her speak normally again!
“Let me go!” she tried to yell. Unfortunately, her struggling had caused Seviper to reflexively tighten her grip, allowing her to emit no more than a squeak, completely inaudible to the sloshed Spinda and the hard of hearing reptile. Okay, so she couldn’t shout. Espeon quickly revised her expectations downwards to ‘being able to breathe’. But as Seviper’s coils tightened, it was getting harder and harder to inflate her lungs against their pressure. This was it, she realized. If Espeon couldn’t use a psychic attack now, she was literally going to die.
Espeon tried to concentrate, but black clouds were blotting out her vision, and she could feel Spinda’s drill jabbing into her. Come on head-cannon, fire!
Fire! Do literally anything, I don’t care if it looks cool or not! Her thoughts melted down to a desperate jumble:
I don’t want to die! Mew, anyone, help! Help! I can’t breathe! I’m-* * * * * *
GONNA DIE GONNA DIE – Ha,
made it! With a well-placed leap, Eevee soared through the air and landed on a rocky outcropping jutting from the middle of a swiftly flowing river. She turned to face the near bank and addressed the smiling pink fairy standing at least two yards away from the river’s edge. “Betcha can’t beat that!” Eevee called, half-yelling to be heard over the roar of the current.
Clefairy smirked in response. “You should never make a bet with a fairy, Eevee~.” After taking a few steps back, Clefairy dashed forwards and leapt at the edge of the riverbank. Her newly evolved wings fluttered and produced a soft glow, and she arced through the air in a graceful parabola, touching down on a rock a few feet closer to the opposite bank than the one Eevee was perched on. She gave a bow and twirled around to face the disbelieving face of her friend.
“Come on, using magic is like,
super-cheating!” Eevee protested.
“Nope~! You didn’t say that before we started, so it doesn’t-” Clefairy started to respond, then gave a brief start and glanced towards the far bank of the river. “Actually… you know Eevee… maybe we shouldn’t be doing this. Jumping onto slick rocks in the midst of a raging river isn’t very safe. Let’s just turn back and find something else to do.” The wings on her back gave a nervous flutter.
“Aw,
what? Seriously? But we’re already halfway across! And I bet there’s a bunch of totally awesome stuff on the other side of the river, too!” Eevee turned around to scan the far bank for anything cool and exciting. Then her eyes widened.
“…so then I see she’s got basically the tackiest soothe bell ever on, and it makes her look like this big, fat miltank, so I- Oh,
ew! Is that that stupid one-move eevee hanging out on
our river?” A sylveon was approaching the riverbank, flanked by a glaceon to her left and a luxio to her right. Eevee knew the sylveon’s name, Alice, but she only remembered the glaceon and luxio as being ‘the mean one’ and ‘the dumb one’, respectively.
“Maybe she’s trying to drown herself because she knows how dumb she is,” the glaceon suggested.
The luxio giggled and added, “Maybe she’s jealous of the magikarps ‘cause some of them know splash
and tackle!”
“Hey, like, this isn’t your own personal river or whatever! We can use it too! And I know
covet, not tackle!” Eevee protested.
Clefairy’s tail was starting to twitch along with her wings. She leapt back to the bank she’d come from and spoke up in a wavering voice: “We were actually just about to leave now – right Eevee? – so there’s no problem, right?”
But neither Alice or Eevee paid her any attention. “Do you
really know covet?” the sylveon asked. “Prove it.” A few graceful bounds from rock to rock brought her across the river to an outcropping near Eevee’s. One of her ribbons dipped into a pink bag strapped to her flank, and withdrew a shiny compact disc, which the fairy dangled tantalizingly over the water separating her from the brown fox. “Recognize this, Eevee? It’s the protect TM you were too stupid to learn how to use. Why don’t you take it back with that covet move you
totally know for real so everyone can watch you fail at it a second time.”
Eevee’s fur began to bristle. “That’s
my TM! I shouldn’t need to, like, take it back, you should just give it to me!” Nevertheless, she found herself glancing down and assessing the distance she’d have to leap. It was a bit further than she’d jumped to get to her current position, but it still seemed doable.
“I
am giving it to you, Eevee. What, you’re afraid of a little leap?” Alice took a step back, creating a space for Eevee to land on.
“No!” Eevee snarled. To Clefairy’s horror, Eevee dropped into a crouching position and tensed her legs.
“Don’t risk your life for a TM, Eevee! It’s not even-” Clefairy stopped mid-sentence.
It’s not even your
TM! It’s a TM for reflect Alice convinced me to switch with your protect TM for a dumb prank! I’m really sorry, I didn’t know she’d take it so far! The real
protect TM is hidden underneath my bed, and I promise I’ll give it back as soon as we get away from this stupid river! “-It’s not worth it,” she finished instead.
But Eevee seemed to have barely heard her. She lunged towards Alice’s rock with all her might, and was rewarded by the sylveon recoiling in surprise, apparently having expected Eevee to wimp out. Using her momentum, Eevee sprang directly at Alice, summoning the familiar energy of a covet attack. In that moment, all the envy Eevee had ever felt towards the sylveon – for the uncanny ease with which she picked up new techniques, when Eevee only had one - for all the numerous friends and admirers she attracted, when Eevee only had Clefairy – condensed into a single burning desire aimed at the heart of her adversary. Had Eevee even so much as grazed her target, it would have overwhelmed Alice, forcing her to desperately attempt to hand over everything she had in a feeble attempt to satisfy the terrible jealously. This effect would’ve lasted only a moment, but it would’ve been long enough.
Instead, a gleaming barrier sprang up around Alice, and Eevee bounced off it harmlessly. She stumbled backwards, her paws scrambling for purchase on the slick rock, and slid into the rushing waters.
“Eevee!” Clefairy yelled, and dashed alongside the bank on stubby legs. But she couldn’t keep up with the current as it swept along her flailing friend. At first, Eevee tried to fight the flow, but quickly realized the futility of this and attempted to swim towards the shore instead. But this made it hard to see the upcoming segments of the river, and her head slammed into the edge of a rock. Dazed and disoriented, Eevee nevertheless managed to wedge a paw in between two jutting stones in the outcropping, then dragged herself on top of one of them.
After a few deep gasps, Eevee put a paw up to her forehead and felt a steady trickle of blood. She looked around and saw no other place within easy jumping distance. “Clefairy, help! I’m bleeding!” she yelled at the top of her lungs. Panting, the pink fairy came to a halt at a spot on the bank directly across from Eevee. She was pretty sure she could jump to Eevee’s rock with a running start, but what would she do then? Although the stored moonlight in Clefairy’s wings allowed her to leap as if on the surface of the moon, it wouldn’t be enough to allow her to make the leap back carrying a pokemon as large as she was. And Clefairy was a terrible swimmer, so that was out. What was left? Use metronome and pray for a teleport? If she called up the wrong move, she could easily get them both killed.
Instead, Clefairy turned around to face Alice, who she had heard casually pacing along behind her. “Do something! She might drown if you don’t help her!” she cried.
“It’s her own fault that she’s in this situation, Clefairy,” the sylveon said, shaking her head slowly. “I was just teasing her, and then she went like totally nutso and attacked me. Why should I risk my own hide to save
her?”
“But… but we’re fairies! We’re supposed to be
nice!” Clefairy said, her tail starting to uncurl as she became increasingly agitated. “We’re supposed to
help people!”
Alice reached out and coiled a ribbon around Clefairy, drawing her closer. She giggled. “It sounds like you have a
lot to learn about being a fairy. Maybe if you hung out with me instead of that dumb one-move eevee, I could show you how much
fun fairies can have.”
“But you’re not fun at all! You’re mean! You
hurt people! Can’t you see how much you’ve been hurting Eevee?”
“No, no, no. Don’t you get it? I
do help people.” Alice turned to look at her two companions stranded on the opposite side of the river, apparently lacking the courage or skill to make the crossing themselves. “You wanna hear a little secret?” she whispered. “That glaceon, Sylvie, that luxio, Kai – they’re not special like we are. They don’t have fairy magic, they don’t have any good moves, and they’re both even kind of dumb. But when they’re with me, they can feel like they’re important, like they
matter. We get to decide what’s cool, what’s popular, and who deserves to get all the good stuff. The reason they can’t just do that on their own? It’s because they’re cowards, Clefairy. On their own, they don’t have the
guts to smack down anyone who’d challenge their right to get to decide everything. You think Sylvie could’ve told Eevee to kill herself if I wasn’t here? If no-one else was watching? No! But see, fairies are
expected to be cruel, to play tricks. Our job is to help
others feel like it’s okay to live out those impulses, too. As long as I’m leading them, Sylvie and Kai never have to feel guilt for what they do.”
Eevee stared out at the duo from across the water, unable to hear their conversation over the roar of the rushing water. What was Clefairy
doing?! She wanted to shout, to tell Clefairy to ‘
get away from her!’, but when she opened her mouth, no sound came out. A sudden terrible realization dawned: Now that she had evolved, Clefairy had realized that she deserved a
better friend than Eevee. Any moment now, the two would turn their backs on her and stroll away, and then Eevee would die. Alone.
“But – but what about-” Clefairy stammered.
Alice gave her tail a dismissive flick. “What about Eevee? She’s a born loser. If my group didn’t make fun of her, someone else would. Same with all the other people we’ve hurt.” Clefairy trembled as Alice’s ribbons drew even tighter around her. “Besides,
you’ve hurt pokémon with your pranks, too! Your hearing is pretty good, right? Could you hear that happiny crying after you tricked her into thinking that rotten egg was an oval stone? I could. You see, it’s already too late for you to be a ‘good’ fairy. But if you join me, I can help you
embrace your-”
“
NO!” Clefairy broke free of Alice’s grip and charged towards the river’s edge. She
was a good fairy! She’d
never be wicked like Alice was! Her wings glowed as she leaped and sailed through the air, before landing on Eevee’s rock as gently as a falling leaf. “Hang on!” she cried, and took hold of Eevee’s paw. The tip of her finger began to glow as she waved it back and forth in the signature pattern of the metronome attack.
“Careful, Clefairy! I’ve heard that metronome always uses the move you really
want it to,” Alice called, loud enough to hear from across the water.
“What’s she mean? You’re gonna use some awesome move that’ll get me off this rock, right?” asked Eevee.
“I’m trying to!” Feeling power well up within her, Clefairy pointed her finger at a spot on the near bank. For all that her parents and teachers warned her about the risks of using metronome, she knew from personal experience that as long as you were careful where you were aiming, there really weren’t
that many truly dangerous moves. The power peaked, and Clefairy… rapidly waved her arm around a few times. Double slap. Clefairy clenched and unclenched her fist, then tried again. She waggled her finger, gathered power, prayed, and then- Lightning surged out of her body in every direction, striking Eevee, the nearest outcropping, and two unfortunate magikarps in the water around her in a series of flashing arcs. Eevee jerked and spasmed, ripping free of Clefairy’s grip and tumbling into the river once more. The shock of the cold water woke her from the wooziness she’d been starting to feel, but when she tried to marshal her tired limbs back into action, she found them stiff and unresponsive. She was paralyzed!
Unable to steer or even turn her head to look where she was going, Eevee drifted downstream helplessly. Her doom seemed certain. But Eevee knew how to counter paralysis from her occasional scuffles and a rare moment where she’d been genuinely paying attention during a combat lesson. She focused on the one process in her body still under her control – her breathing – and worked on extending that control outwards from her diaphragm. First, she worked on controlling the sizes of the breaths she took, then she started to work on her abdominal muscles. Shortly, she could get her neck and eyes to twitch under her control- just in time to see herself headed for a waterfall! Eevee plummeted over the side and crashed into the water below. It wasn’t a high enough drop to make her hit bottom, but it did submerge her briefly, and it was in that moment that Eevee’s paralyzed jaws chose to start working again and swung open. Water poured into her lungs, and she remained underneath the surface.
Her last thoughts as her consciousness faded were not profound: How could this have happened to me I don’t want to die Clefairy killed me I’m dead I’m drowning I can’t breathe
I can’t breathe-
* * * * * *
Espeon gasped for air and returned to awareness as the crushing pressure around her midsection miraculously lessoned. As the dark clouds cleared from her vision, she became able to make out a bipedal cow with a top hat and a metal pail dangling over one arm approaching her, Spinda, and Seviper. The latter was flicking her tongue out and peering at the newcomer with interest, this redirected attention apparently being the cause of her loosened grip.
“I say, what’s all this ruckus over here?” Miltank asked, glaring down at the snake and panda with disapproval.
“I’ve diagnoshed this stroke with a pashient, so I’m performing a shurgical operashion,” Spinda replied, waving his drill at her.
“Har-
ummph! That espeon needs
your quack medicine like she needs a hole in her head!” the miltank said, spitting out a wad of cud in disapproval.
Spinda stopped and stared at the cow in cross-eyed confusion. “But… but thash
exactly what she needs!”
“Stuff and nonsense, I say! No, what she
needs is Miltank’s Miraculous Milk Tonic-Elixir, a guaranteed cure-all for every ailment, from gout to pinkeye, pancreatitis to pneumonia, sunburn to stroke! Patent pending.” Miltank shoved Spinda aside and held her pail up to Espeon’s muzzle. “If this can’t cure her, nothing will!”
Espeon managed to stop gasping for air long enough to sniff at the proffered liquid sloshing around in the bucket. “Ugh… you… you want me to drink this? This is like, coconut milk, right? I’m totally not drinking this if it’s something you squeezed out of your body!”
“The exact formulation is a closely-guarded secret, but I can assure you it consists of only the finest, most quality-tested, probably legal ingredients!” Miltank withdrew the pail slightly. “However, should you not wish to imbibe my tonic, you’re perfectly free to accept the ministration of this drill-clutching ‘doctor’ over here instead,” she said, gesturing at a wobbling Spinda.
“Okay, okay, I’ll drink it!” Espeon said, and carefully extended her tongue to lap up a small quantity of the mysterious liquid. Almost immediately, she began coughing and spat it back out. “Oh Mew, that
did taste like it came from someone’s body! Ew ew ew ew!”
“Well? How do you feel? Less stroke-afflicted, I hope?” Miltank asked.
“
I don’t have a stroke!” Espeon yelled. “But, like, I feel like I’m gonna hurl and my sides are totally crushed and it hurts every time I breathe!”
“Seviper’s stranger securing strategy superfluously strict? Sorry,” Seviper said, and further loosened her constricting coils. As soon as she did so, Espeon renewed her thrashing and struggling, and managed to wriggle free. Espeon then proceeded to run directly away from her benefactors as fast her legs could carry her.
“Just look at that vigorous stride – a sure sign of good health, I’d say! Yes, this is another miraculous recovery wrought by the salubrious effect of Miltank’s Miraculous Milk Tonic-Elixir!” Miltank cheered.
“Wait… Eshpeon’s healthy now? Uh, okay…” Spinda said, and attempted to pack his drill back into his bag, but only succeeded in shoving it into a nearby bush. He soon gave up looking for it and moved on to writing his case notes down in a little journal: “Patient, yuong male liepard, diagnosd w/stroke and idiopathic pink fur color. Ressisted treatment by by head drilling, but condition resolved anyway. Medical hypothesis: Seviper squeezed all xcess blood in head back into body. Treat all future stroke w/big vice grip applyed to torso.” Then, after straightening the mirror on his head, Spinda picked up his doctor’s bag and wobbled away.
“Stranger’s saved? Splendid!” Seviper slithered off back towards her sunning rock, convinced that she’d done her good deed for the day.
Meanwhile, Espeon was in a much worse mood. That complaint earlier had been no exaggeration, and the only thing stopping her from sobbing over how much her chest was hurting was the certainty that that’d make the pain ten times worse. Why hadn’t Psyduck
warned her about those glasses? She could’ve
died back there! The only time she’d ever been more afraid for her life was that one time she fell into that river and nearly – wait, what? Espeon couldn’t remember having ever fallen into any river! There weren’t even any rivers close to the daycare, so the thought was especially odd. Of course, she could recall having seen a few
before she had come to the daycare, but-
Wait. How exactly
had Espeon come to the daycare? Try as hard as she could, Espeon couldn’t remember the day she arrived there, nor could she recall ever leaving the place she used to live at. It was really, really weird. Surely she couldn’t have just totally
forgotten something like- Oh crap,
the glasses! She needed to go and return those choice specs to Grumpig’s little hidey-hole before he woke up and realized they were missing! Espeon did a one-eighty and sprinted back to where Seviper had been holding her earlier.
To Espeon’s horror, she found the choice specs dangling by their strap from one of Miltank’s hooves as the bipedal bovine looked them over. “I say, these are quite the peculiar spectacles! And to think they were just lying on the grass here where any oaf could step on them! …but why are they even here at all? Could there be a pokémon at the daycare in need of my miraculous tonic to cure their ailing vision?”
“What? No! Those are like, choice specs. They’re
supposed to like, make your psychic powers get stronger and psychic-ier, but instead they just make you repeat everything or something! Anyways, I have like,
no idea how they got out here, but they’re Grumpig’s, and I really need to get them back to him, okay? So it would be totally awesome if you could just, uh, hoof them over to me,” Espeon said.
In response, Miltank gasped and let the specs slip into her milk pail, which she’d briefly set down. “Great Mary Queen of Chatots! You mean to tell me that these humble lenses are one of the legendary ‘choice items’? Why, I thought those were a myth, like the supposed ‘Maximal Ether’ or the ‘Hyper De-evolution Spray’!”
Espeon winced at the thought of having to lick Miltank’s foul smelling concoction off the lenses. Then her brain got around to processing what she’d just heard. “Wait, there’s… there’s something can make you stop being evolved? How can you get it?” The psychic cat’s tail stood ramrod straight and her eyes began to widen as she was overwhelmed with a sudden hope and yearning she hadn’t even realized she had.
“Didn’t I
just say it was merely mythical?” Miltank scoffed. “Besides, I thought you eevees were all about evolving! Why would you ever want to
de-evolve?”
…Oh. “Cause being an espeon
sucks!” she snapped. “I’ve been trying all day, but I haven’t been able to do
any psychic things at all! All that’s happened is that I’ve been hit with a stick, gotten a lot of headaches, looked dumb in front of Clefairy, learned that my crush thinks I’m just like the evilest sylveon on the planet, and nearly got squeezed to death while Spinda tried to poke a hole in my head!”
“Are you
sure you haven’t exhibited any manifestations of psychic power? Just before I came and rescued you from that sham physician, I heard a voice in my head calling for help! Wasn’t that your telepathy?”
“Wait… like, really? I actually
did do a psychic thing!? This is awesome! Wait, wait, let me try again!” Espeon narrowed her eyes and concentrated. “Okay, like, what Unown letter am I thinking of?” she asked. Miltank heard no voice in her mind, but observed Espeon’s forked tail-tips subconsciously crossing over each other to form an X-shape.
“Er, X?”
“Wow, you’re right!” Espeon cheered. “I
do have telepathy! I’m gonna go tell everyone! No, I’m gonna go
telepathize it to everyone!” She immediately bounded off to parts unknown, choice specs forgotten once again. Miltank watched her go, then hefted up the pail of milk. She had said the specs belonged to Grumpig, right?
It turned out that the psychic pig was just waking up again as Miltank finished trotting over to his mud patch. “Greetings, Mr. Grumpig! I’d never known you were in possession of one of the fabled ‘choice items’ before!” she said, withdrawing the item from her milk pail.
The sight of the familiar glasses shocked Grumpig out of his post-nap grogginess immediately. “What!? Where did you get those from?” he asked, activating his telekinesis to rip them out of Miltank’s grip.
“I found them just sitting in that field over yonder. Espeon – that’s who Eevee evolved into, in case you missed it – told me that she had ‘no idea’ how they got there. It’s really quite the mystery.”
“
Did she, now,” Grumpig said. Ugh, now he would have to go have a talk with the irksome cat. Hopefully she hadn’t caused
too much mischief with the specs – if she had at least managed to not start any fires, she would have done better than Grumpig’s first time using the item. He got up, stretched out his aging limbs and back, and shook loose mud off himself. “Thanks for returning my glasses, Miltank, but they aren’t really any sort of ‘fabled item’. Practically every other pokémon uses some sort of choice item in professional battling these days. And they’re rather overrated, if you ask me. In my day, if you saw a pokémon using the same move over and over again, it either meant they’d been hit by an encore, or they were an uncreative hack who couldn’t win a battle without resorting to cheap spamming tactics. See, we used to have this idea that a good battler wasn’t just someone who won all the time, but a pokémon with style, with honor, who knew how to entertain an audience. If they saw the only way to win would be by spamming swift a dozen times while constantly running away from the opponent, well, then they’d grit their teeth and accept they were going to lose that fight. But you can bet your pearls they’d go out with some sort of wild combination of moves and use of the environment no one had ever seen before! And dare I say it, battling was more fun in those days, too!”
“Eh? What sort of poppycock are you blathering on about? A gentlemon wouldn’t be caught dead fighting for the amusement of audiences, like some sort of commoner brawling in an alehouse in front of drunkards and gamblers! And of course, honorable battlers only fight under the Marquess of Chopleberry rules, which forbid any sort of ‘creative’ tactics entirely!”
“…Ergh, nevermind. I’ve got to go and find Espeon,” Grumpig said, giving a dismissive snort to Miltank’s outdated notions. What was the deal with that pokémon, exactly? It was like she’d been born over a hundred years ago… Putting the question out of his mind, the psychic pig set out on a brief tour of the daycare, and soon located Espeon sitting behind the equipment shed, head turned to the ground. He trotted up to her and opened his mouth to give a long lecture about respect for other pokémon’s personal property and the virtue of hard work over cheap trinkets, but stopped short upon seeing the tears streaming down Espeon’s face. “…Why are you crying like that? Did you get yourself hurt using my choice specs?”
Espeon fought down her sobbing enough to choke out a response in between sniffles. “No… I never touched your stupid choice specs. And I’m not hurt.” To Grumpig’s surprise, her response sounded sincere. “It’s just that, like… like… I can’t seem to do anything right!” the cat wailed. “Like, I’m
supposed to be able to do this telepathy thing, but I totally can’t do it, no matter how hard I try! I can’t do
any psychic stuff besides a simple confusion attack, but even
Psyduck knows how to do that, and she’s like, not even psychic!”
Grumpig’s jaw briefly opened in shock. “Wait… you’re saying you
already learned how to use confusion? Show me.” In response, Espeon focused her gaze on a small rock sticking out of the grass, and the gem on her head glowed for a moment. An unseen force struck the stone and sent it tumbling a few feet, and Grumpig caught a brief tingle of psychic static generated by the attack. That… that was much better than the first time Grumpig had ever been able to use telekinesis as a spoink! The psychic pig had always been aware that his species was somewhat middling in terms of psychic potential, while espeon were considered to be near the top in that regard, but to have it rubbed in his face like this still stung. Why should that lazy, half-brained cat get to have-
“See? It’s not even that strong!” Espeon said, and began to sob again.
The psychic pig gritted his teeth and forced himself to swallow his jealousy before responding. “Look, you can’t expect yourself to have learned all the different moves and abilities psychic pokémon can use the very first day you became one! Just being able to use confusion at that level already is pretty impressive, and you should feel proud of yourself for that!”
“No! You- you don’t understand! My species should be able to use every move immediately! It’s totally like I’m not a real Espeon
at all!”
“Now you’re just being absurd! There aren’t any pokémon who can use all their moves immediately – excepting unown, I suppose. No one would think you aren’t a real Espeon just because you’ve only learned confusion so far.”
At this, Espeon’s ears seemed to perk up a bit. “You really think I’m an Espeon? Ha… well… I guess I don’t totally suck… Thanks, Grumpig.” Sniffling, the psychic cat got to her feet and sprinted away. She quickly made her way inside the main daycare building, one of the few places where she was certain not to see that dumb, stupid unown who had ruined everything. The pink cat’s legs wobbled and she collapsed to the ground, shortly before her flesh melted into pink goo. Once fully de-transformed, Ditto flowed into a quiet corner and began to reflect on the day’s events.
Meanwhile, Grumpig shook his head at the sight of the departing pink pokémon, then entered the equipment shed to place the choice specs back in their hiding spot. If it hadn’t been Espeon, who had taken them? …Zoroark, probably. He’d have to find someplace else to put them soon, but until he did, this would at least protect them from the other pokémon. As he was about to put the loose floorboard back in place, a sudden whim struck Grumpig, and he found himself opening the old badge case to look at its contents again. If he had had the sort of psychic power an espeon could eventually master, could he have…? No. He’d already accepted his relative weakness. Best to focus on the things he could control, instead. His
real problem was that he should’ve just never touched those choice specs. They hadn’t ever really done anything except cause trouble, had they? He’d really been an idiot going into that match against Wattson with those on, hadn’t he.
…That had really been quite a fight, hadn’t it? The youngest gym leader in Hoenn against a pokemon so old he’d had to get a fake id in order to be allowed to participate in the league. Still, despite his age, and despite the questionable choice of the choice specs, Grumpig had been in top form in that battle, landing power gem after power gem, psychic after psychic. Until- until… wait, how
had it ended? Obviously not with a victory, but, even if he’d been knocked out… why couldn’t he remember waking up in the pokecenter later, or looking back over tapes of the match? And for that matter, why hadn’t he tried to challenge Wattson again? Had his fake id been found out? Had he decided to retire (as if!)? Then why didn’t he have any memory of those things?
Grumpig puzzled over these thoughts as he returned the badge case and started to head out of the equipment shed. There had to be
some explanation- Oh, there was Espeon again. “You certainly cheered up fast,” he said to the enthusiastic looking cat as she wandered by the shed.
“Oh, um, yeah!” Espeon said, although she had no idea what he was talking about. Seeing the psychic pig in conjunction with the equipment shed made her suddenly remember the choice specs again, and for a moment she was worried that Grumpig had figured out she’d borrowed them and was about to give her some sort of boring lecture about personal property rights and valuing hard work over trinkets or something like that. But instead, he simply gave a brief grunt of acknowledgement and started to head towards the feeding trough. Huh, he must not have realized it was her who’d taken the specs. Whew! Relieved, Espeon decided to go and find Clefairy so she could rub her new power in the fairy’s face
again!
The psychic pig shook his head as he turned to watch her run off yet again. Were all espeon so mercurial? No, it was probably just her, he reflected. A rumble in his stomach reminded him that it was long past his preferred feeding time, so he resumed his trot towards the- Wait. Hadn’t he been thinking about something important before he saw Espeon? …Ah, it was probably nothing. As the psychic pig reached the feeding trough, he looked in the sky and noticed it was getting rather late. Hopefully Slakoth would still be awake when he was finished eating. Grumpig was getting a sense that he’d really need that discussion about napping tips soon, he thought.
* * * * * *
Finally, the sun began to set over the daycare, and Sylvie sighed with relief. Not much tended to happen at night, and if anything did, the darkness would make it much easier for the sableye to stay hidden while she dealt with whatever problem those morons had gotten themselves into. Seriously, couldn’t she leave them alone for
one day without one of those idiots nearly getting themselves killed? At least all she’d had to do to resolve today’s incident was create a minor illusory whisper into that miltank’s ear.
…Admittedly, those little episodes
did provide some much needed entertainment, especially after Ho-Oh had told her to quit scaring people in the basement. Sylvie still didn’t really see why she couldn’t have a little fun while was she working. The whole point of the daycare was that it was hidden from you-know-who’s perception, wasn’t it? She shouldn’t
need to stay quite so under the radar as most ghosts did, the sableye thought. Maybe the reason why was that Ho-Oh thought she shouldn’t be having any fun while she was doing what was effectively a sort of penance. In a minor way, she had contributed to the
need for the daycare, after all. It was something Sylvie tried her hardest to forget, but of course that would be impossible as long as that eevee remained at the daycare, forever reminding her of the day she simply stood and did nothing while a pokémon drowned. When Eevee had evolved, Sylvie had gained some hope that the fox might have been leaving the daycare soon, but today’s observation of her had proved that that happy moment was still a fair ways away.
All told, Sylvie couldn’t really complain too much about her new life- or unlife, as it was. She knew she had it a lot easier than most ghosts out there, doomed to an existence spent either cowering in the shadows or constantly moving from place to place, forever on the run from-
“Hello, Sylvie,” a voice called from above. “Thinking of me?” Sylvie immediately whirled around and looked up at the towering figure of the pokémon who had just spoken. Two great wings terminating in grasping claws rather than feathers stretched out of the blood-red body of the great bird-like beast. Yveltal had come for her.
Although Sylvie had at first despised her new ability, stall, after becoming a sableye, she had grudgingly grown to appreciate that it could sometimes be useful. Many times it had saved her from her equally newfound rashness, and she had come to realize that a moment spent in thought before acting was rarely a moment wasted. Unfortunately, this was not one of these times. Before she could react, Yveltal reached out and seized her with a massive, enveloping wing. “What- what do you want with me?” Sylvie stammered.
“The same thing I always want. Death,” Yveltal replied.
“But I’m a servant of Mew! By the agreement, you’re not allowed to kill me!” Sylvie managed to squirm an arm free and stick a hand into her mouth. From underneath her tongue, she pulled out a golden coin emblazoned with Mew’s seal. “I have her badge!”
“Ah, yes, it all seems to check out, doesn’t it? Mew has exactly one sableye on her payroll, who’s currently on an observation mission of indefinite duration at this particular daycare. I can see that you were a glaceon in your past life, just like the one in Mew’s records. And that badge of yours is indeed the genuine item.”
“…So that means you’re going to let me go, right?” Sylvie asked, struggling to get her other arm free. Yveltal ignored her and continued.
“But, see, a funny thing happened while I was out looking for ghosts in Nimbasa city yesterday. I was just about to reap this scrawny little sableye, when – wouldn’t you know it- he pulls out a coin just like yours, claiming he’s a servant of Mew. I say that surely he’s mistaken - Mew’s only employing
one sableye at the moment, on a mission halfway across the world. So then he tells me about how this other sableye approached him with Mew’s emblem and told him he could go and take a little vacation while she took over his mission. Sound familiar?”
“Look, whoever it was must have just stolen that coin or something-”
“Ah yes, I’ve heard that there are a
lot of stolen emblems floating around in the hands – or should I say,
talons – of unscrupulous characters. See, here’s what I think happened. I think Ho-oh found a miserable, weak-willed glaceon in the throes of death, and gave her
just enough juice to become a ghost instead of fading into oblivion, then promised to resurrect her fully if she’d complete a little task for them.” Yveltal’s grip tightened, to the point where a living creature would no longer have been able to breathe.
“There’s no proof of any of that!” Sylvie yelled. “You can’t just kill me based on some crazy theory you thought up!”
“You know, you
do have a point. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe if I hurt you, Mew will detect it and teleport in, screaming and hollering and threatening to call down the wrath of Arceus upon me for violating the agreement. But here’s the thing: for all the falsehoods mortals spread about me, there is one thing they get right. I
love to gamble.” Before Sylvie could respond, Yveltal grabbed the arm she had managed to get loose and tore it off her body with the ease of a child ripping off a butterfly’s wing. While she screamed, Yveltal casually turned their head from left to right, surveying their surroundings. “Huh. It looks like Mew
isn’t coming to save you. Guess I was right.”
Sylvie ground her crystalline teeth together. Ghosts felt pain… but it was more because they
remembered themselves as pain-feeling creatures than because they strictly needed to. She forced herself to turn her lidless eyes towards the stump of her arm. It wasn’t bleeding. It wasn’t alive. And – she repeated to herself – it wasn’t
feeling, either. …it still hurt, but now Sylvie could focus on other matters. Like not getting killed. “Yes, I’m working for Ho-Oh! If you spare me, I’ll tell you where to find their other servants!” she shrieked, desperately trying to think of a halfway plausible lie as to where any of them might be, or even
who any of them might be.
“While I appreciate the sentiment, I’m afraid that’s not possible. Ever since I discovered Ho-oh’s little project here, I’ve been hunting down and eradicating all the little pawns they’ve assigned to it. And you’re the
last of them, Sylvie. Did Ho-Oh tell you that? Did they tell you about the drifblim that made deliveries to this place until the night he suddenly vanished? Did they warn you when the claydol buried in a ring around this area were found discarded in a soggy, melted heap at the bottom of a ditch? No?”
“That’s not- that’s not all of them! I know-”
“Yes, yes, I’m sure your lies are quite creative and you must’ve worked very hard on them. Let’s cut to the chase, shall we? I want death, but it doesn’t have to be
your death. If you’re really so intent on prolonging that feeble state of existence you ghosts think is living, than you can do a small favor for me. Kill one of the residents of this little ‘daycare’ before the next sunrise, and I’ll agree to leave you alone for, say, seventy years. How’s that sound?”
At this, Sylvie fell silent. Her squirming temporarily ceased as she turned the proposition over in her head. In one sense, it wouldn’t be difficult at all, really. As clueless and dysfunctional as the daycare pokémon were, they could barely even manage to go a day without nearly getting themselves killed
without an assassin’s assistance. Add that fact to her sableye form’s natural talent for stealth and violence, her experience at navigating the daycare unseen, and her keen understanding of the daycare residents’ patterns and weaknesses, and she could probably kill over half of them in a single night.
“Even the carvanha or the unown would count,” Yveltal crooned, lifting Sylvie up to eye level. “Or what about that slakoth? I can’t imagine an easier pokémon to kill, especially for a ghost like you. He’s already indistinguishable from a corpse half the time, anyways.”
“I… I-”
“Oh, and consider this: Even if you refuse, every single one of the daycare residents will still die very, very soon from now. Call it, ah, a death god’s intuition. All you’d be doing is throwing away your own life. So what’s it going to be, Sylvie? Yes or no?”
“…Yes. I’ll do it. There’s this one espeon at the daycare I knew back when she was an eevee. I hate her. Whenever I look at her, she always reminds me of one of the worst moments of my life. But I have to take care of her anyways, and I know
she’d hate
me, if she knew I was here, and she’s just so- so
stupid! And so self-centered, and she has the
gall to just… keep being cheerful even though she’s such a shitty pokémon, and I think she even
knows she’s shitty! So… I’ll do it. I’ll kill Espeon,” Sylvie said, speaking no louder than a whisper.
Yveltal’s grip loosened, and the bird let out a brief series of harsh, guttural caws Sylvie could only interpret as laughter. “Excellent! Splendid! I knew you’d see things my way, Sylvie. But just, ah, indulge me a little, please. Tell me
how you’re going to kill her.”
“Well, I-”
“Because I’m having a little trouble understanding how you’ll do that without any limbs or eyes,” Yveltal said, tilting his head curiously.
“What do you- AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! FUCK, FUCK,
FUCK!” Sylvie yelled as Yveltal casually inserted the point of a talon into her right eye socket and pried out its sapphire contents.
“See, here’s the thing, Sylvie. I can
always tell when someone lies to me about their intention to kill. You were never really planning on killing that espeon, were you? You were just going to run far, far away from here as soon as I let you of my sight.”
In the midst of pain, Sylvie found a sudden surge of strength and determination that allowed her to speak again. “Aaahh… Fuck… fuck you! You’re wrong!” she shrieked.
“Oh, am I?” Yveltal asked. “I suppose it’s possible that you deluded yourself, in the heat of the moment, into believing that you were actually going to murder her. But my power’s never wrong, Sylvie. As soon as you spoke, I
knew you didn’t have it in you to kill.”
“No, not wrong about that. About Ho-Oh. They didn’t revive me as a ghost, or promise to resurrect me fully. I- I heard from other ghosts that Ho-Oh was looking for a sableye who used to be a glaceon. That Ho-Oh could provide redemption. So I found them. And I don’t know if their plan will work, but I’m
not going to let it fail because of the same fucking
cowardice I had in life! Because if it
does work, then- Then you won’t be able to torture pokémon like me anymore! We won’t have to hide all the time anymore, so maybe we’ll have a chance to actually become happy again!”
Yveltal clicked their beak together several times, and waved a talon in Sylvie’s face. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. You really should have learned to be a little less credulous by now, shouldn’t you? What’s more likely, Sylvie? That you
just happened to die young and become a ghost naturally while meeting the exact specifications Ho-Oh needed, and then you
just happened to blunder across some of Ho-Oh’s servants despite both you and them doing their best to stay unnoticed at all times? Or is it more likely that Ho-Oh had you killed, turned you into a ghost, told some of their other sorry servants to come and recruit you, and let you think joining up with Happy-Rainbow-Funtime-Bird was
your idea?”
“I don’t care, okay? I don’t care! Even if Ho-Oh
did do all those things- I’d do them too, to achieve what-AHHHHHHHH!”
A sound akin to a stick of chalk being snapped in half could be faintly heard as the death god twisted and popped off Sylvie’s right leg. “Didn’t I already make it clear that I was tired of your lies, Sylvie? If you were actually capable of killing someone, you’d have agreed to my offer. And I doubt you know even a
fraction of the atrocities Ho-Oh’s committed while trying to complete this little project of theirs. Do you even know what happens to the pokemon who leave this daycare? Has Ho-Oh even told you that much?”
In response, Sylvie said nothing, her head and remaining limbs hanging limp from her body.
“…Sylvie? Are you still there, Sylvie?” Yveltal shook the sableye back and forth a few times, but received no reaction from the unfortunate creature. Unconscious already? Was it just Yveltal, or were Ho-Oh’s little toys not as durable as they used to be? Why, it was
almost as if the rainbow god’s ideal of letting souls reincarnate again and again and again instead of throwing them out when they started to rot was beginning to have actual
consequences! Who would’ve thought that shitting all over The Freak’s original designs for the system the instant they were dead could’ve been a
bad idea?
Ah well, not that there was much Yveltal could do about it while Mew remained in charge, other than fight the inevitable decline. The god cast down Sylvie’s lifeless body and flapped their wings, unleashing a pulse of energy. It swept over the sableye, and when it passed, absolutely nothing of her remained. A few more wing beats bore Yveltal into the air, where the god began to contemplate their next moves as they glared down at the unsuspecting inhabitants of the daycare below.
END OF DAY ONE